A/N: Happy Birthday, Mommy!!!!
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Anticipation
The ride to the airport was uneventful, albeit long and somewhat nerve-wracking. Jim remained quiet, giving Harry way too much time think and question whether or not Hermione would be on that flight. It seemed like every time he closed his eyes, between the moment he mailed the letter and the time they left for the airport that morning, he could see her making a list of all the reasons why she should and/or shouldn't come. He could see her chewing on the end of her quill. Her hands would be smudged with ink but the list would be perfectly neat…not a word misspelled or a drop of ink where it didn't belong. He found himself smiling constantly at the image of her with her head bent forward and her hand mindlessly pushing her hair back behind her ear.
Harry tried not to think of what would be on Hermione's list. He knew her so well that he was positive anything she put on the `should not' list would be, in her mind, exceptionally valid reasons for not getting on the plane. I should've talked to her, he thought for the millionth time in the past week. I should've made her understand that this wasn't a rash decision; it's what I want…
What you need, his inner voice interjected.
Harry felt himself nod. She's not just what I need…she's all I need, he thought.
Harry opened his eyes and looked around. He could see the bay out of his window and up ahead was the casino he vaguely remembered seeing on his way through town when he was heading to Bandon. He knew they were getting close to the airport and the closer they got the more agitated Harry became. "Jim?" he said suddenly, his voice tightly controlled.
"Yup?"
Harry could hear the amusement in Jim's voice and he glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and frowned. "Next time," he said as a grin slowly began to break out across his face, "remind me to bring a pillow."
"You ready for a nap?"
"No-o," Harry said, shaking his head. "Just need something to scream in to," he said as he dropped his head back and released a groan.
"Well, it'll be over soon enough, Harry, we'll be entering North Bend in just a minute and Hermione's flight is due in," Jim glanced at the clock, "in just over an hour." He turned his head slightly to look at Harry. "You sure you don't want to stop by that bowling alley?"
"They serve firewhiskey there?"
"Firewhiskey? Is that a European thing?" Jim asked giving Harry a knowing smile. Harry's eyes widened and he jerked his head around to look out the window. Jim chuckled softly and shook his head. "Nope. No firewhiskey. No whiskey at all. You'd have to settle for a beer. They have some poker machines in there, though, if you're a gambling man."
Harry shook his head. "Nah, that's all right. I don't think anything'll help anyway, let's just get to the airport." He sat back for a moment, wondering if a drink might actually calm his nerves. "Can I even drink alcohol here?" He asked as he turned to look at Jim questioningly. "Isn't the age limit higher? I think they said something about that on the plane."
Jim shook his head and laughed. "21," he said. "You're too young. Just thought I'd throw that in there for conversational purposes. You know, get your mind off things for a minute," he shrugged, "figured you'd say no," he added. "Just about five more minutes then we'll be there."
Harry chuckled and sat back. Silence filled the car again and the suddenness of it made the quiet seem even louder than it'd been before. Harry began to mindlessly twiddle his thumbs as he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the seat. "Why did I do it?" he said, putting voice to his thoughts.
"You talking to me or you?" Jim asked.
"I don't know," Harry replied, shaking his head.
"Well, why'd you do what? Send her the ticket?"
Harry raised his head and looked at Jim in alarm. "What? The ticket…? Oh no, I know why I did that," he said quickly as he turned to gaze unseeingly out the front window. "No, I just wonder why I told her not to call. What the hell was I thinking?" He glanced at Jim and half-smiled. "And why the hell did she choose now to start listening?"
Jim chuckled. "I don't know how to answer that, Harry. Perhaps you like the element of surprise?"
Harry chuckled with him. "No," he said, his voice softening as his thoughts began to drift. "I think it's more that I want to see her face when I finally learn the greatest of lesson of my life."
"What lesson is that?" Jim asked, keeping his on an even keel with Harry's.
Harry looked toward Jim thoughtfully although his mind was not at all on the man beside him when he spoke. "That I'm worth being loved by someone as smart and beautiful and amazing as she is."
Jim pulled into a parking space and shut off the engine before turning to look at Harry. As he carefully studied Harry's face he could feel his heart breaking for all of the pain and suffering the young man had been forced to endure. Despite the fact that Jim knew Hermione loved Harry there was no way even he could ensure she would step off that plane. For now, he had no choice but to put all of his trust in fate, and for the first time ever the thought of that scared him. "I'm quite certain there are plenty of people who would attest to your being worthy of love, Harry."
Harry shook his head. "No," he replied, his thoughts still adrift. "I don't think so. But it doesn't matter because there's really only one…" he let those words hang for a moment before he continued. "With anyone else it would just be words. With her," he focused his gaze and looked directly into Jim's eyes, "with her, there won't be a need for words. I'll know because she got on that plane and traveled all this way…just to be with me. She wouldn't do that otherwise."
Jim closed his eyes briefly to silently plead with the fates. "You're a lucky man, Harry," he said, even as he prayed the words were true.
"I hope so," Harry replied as he looked at the small terminal that would soon hold his fate. "I truly hope so."
"You'll see," Jim said as he reached for the handle to open the door. "You ready?"
Harry shook his head. "No…" he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, when he opened them he found Jim watching him. "Yes," he said, nodding his head. "Yes, I'm ready, I just…" he looked back at the airport, "I don't want to sit in there. Can't we hang out here until we see the plane or something?"
Jim let go of the handle and rolled down his window. "Whatever you want, Harry," he sighed as laid his head back against the headrest. "What are you going to do out here?"
Harry looked at him for a second and then opened the car door. "Same thing I'm gonna do in there…" he replied, waving his hand wearily toward the terminal. "Go insane." He stepped out of the car, closed the door, then leaned back against it and looked up into the sky…wondering if he would soon be seeing Hermione.
Harry didn't hear Jim's door shut, nor did he notice when Jim came around to his side of the car to settle in next to him. "Wanna talk about it?" he asked, startling Harry from his reverie.
"Talk about what?"
"I don't know," Jim shrugged. "Tell me what it is about her that has you going insane."
"I don't even know, Jim. I really don't," Harry said with a shrug. "We've been friends for so long that I can hardly remember my life before her. She's been my voice of reason when I'm in doubt. She's saved my life so many times that I've long since lost count. She's just…" he paused to find the words, "she's there. She's always there. If there's ever been one thing that I could count on in my life, it's been her."
"And that's enough to make you insane?"
"No, it's not that," he said, shaking his head. "What's making me insane is the realization that I'm in love with her when I'm so damned far away. I know Hermione, probably better than I know myself, and I can tell you that she has thought this through thoroughly. She's dissected it and broken it down to the point where there is a solid, logical, straightforward, no more questions yes or no answer. She's not the type to take a leap without some idea of the ramifications. If she thinks for even a second that I might eventually resent her for coming or if she starts to think that maybe my feelings of missing her are being mistaken for love…" he paused and shook his head once more, "she won't come. And I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't get off that plane."
Jim took a deep breath and sighed. "Well, I think it's pretty simple."
Harry looked at him curiously. "What's that mean?"
Jim looked pointedly toward the airport. "We're at an airport, Harry. You'll get on a plane and you'll go to her."
Harry shook his head. "It's not that simple…" he began.
Jim pushed himself up off the car. "I can tell you now, son. You won't be getting back in this car if she doesn't step off the plane. I will escort you to England myself if I have to."
Harry pushed himself off the car and the two men started walking toward the airport entrance. "You'd do it, wouldn't you?" Harry asked as he watched Jim closely.
"Hopefully I won't have to," Jim replied. He pointed up at the sky. "The plane's coming in…let's get in there."
Harry's heart leapt up into his throat and he stopped walking long enough to take a deep, calming breath. He closed his eyes and silently pleaded … please, Hermione, let me see you step off that plane.
Harry and Jim walked as far into the terminal as they could and a few minutes later Harry stood in silence as he stared out the window and watched as the passengers began to descend from the plane. There were a few people scattered about inside, and even as some passengers began to trickle in to meet their friends and loved ones, Harry's eyes never once left the plane.
A while later, long after he'd seen the last passenger disembark, Harry saw one of the airline employees gesture toward the plane and he watched in stunned silence as they rolled the stairs away. He wanted to yell out that there must be another passenger on board, that they hadn't looked well enough. He wanted to make them look again because he knew his Hermione was there somewhere…she had to be. He staggered slightly and fast as lightning Jim's fingers wrapped around his arm to steady him. "She didn't come," Harry rasped around the lump in his throat. "She wasn't…how could…she not be there?"
Harry's shoulders sagged and Jim led him to a chair and pushed him down into it. "Just sit down for a minute, Harry," he said softly so as not to attract attention.
Harry jumped up. "No. Let's go."
Jim moved to stand in front of him. His normally smiling face now more serious than Harry had ever seen it. "Mr. Potter, you will sit down in that chair until I return. Now sit," he demanded in harsh whisper.
Harry looked at him with wide eyes. He was prepared to argue until he saw the look of determination in Jim's eyes. Resignedly he sat down. "Fine!" he muttered. "I'll sit and I'll stay…like a good dog."
Jim looked as though he was going to say something but instead he pointed and then walked to the ticket counter.
"Excuse me," he said to the woman standing behind the counter. "I need to check on a flight out of New York, please."
The woman took the information and confirmed Jim's suspicions. He returned to Harry with a smile on his face. "Harry, the flight she's scheduled to be on from New York to Portland was delayed so she would've missed the flight coming in to North Bend. She should be at the airport in Portland now. The next flight is due to leave there at 2:30, arriving here around 3:30." He put his hand on Harry's arm. "Don't give up, son. She wasn't on that flight because she couldn't be…not because she didn't want to be."
Harry felt a great rush of relief sweep through him but he still couldn't rid himself of the feeling of apprehension. "What time is it?" he asked, his voice still sounding hoarse.
Jim looked at his watch. "Almost 11:00, we have 4.5 hours to wait."
Harry let the back of his head hit hard against the wall. "I can't sit here," he said, shaking his head. "I can't. Can you just take me back to my house and then bring me back again later? It's too long to wait."
Jim nodded. "If that's what you want, let's go."
Harry put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. Please, Hermione, talk to me. Can you hear me? Please tell me you'll be on that flight. I don't think I can take feeling this way again. Slowly Harry stood, realizing that next time there wouldn't be an easy excuse…next time she would either be there she wouldn't. He felt as though a great weight was pressing down upon him and he moaned softly. "This is stupid," he said as he began to walk toward the door. "I really messed up this time, didn't I? She trusts me, she believes in me, I know she does." He pushed open the door as he turned to look at Jim. "I have to believe that she lo-" he stopped talking when he noticed the smile that had begun to spread across Jim's face.
He stopped walking and then turned to follow Jim's gaze. It was as though everything around him was moving in slow motion as his eyes widened and his head shook in disbelief. He turned around and ran his hands across his eyes and blinked rapidly a few times. "Do you see her?" he asked Jim before he turned back around. Without waiting for a response he took a step forward. "Are you real?" he asked, his voice so soft that for a moment he wondered if he'd actually spoken. "Are you really here?"
Tears were in her eyes as she smiled and nodded. "I couldn't wait any longer," she said, her voice as soft as his. "I had to see you."
"But how did you…I mean-"
Jim smiled knowingly and put his hand on Harry's arm as he looked from Hermione to Harry. "I'll just be in the car," he said with a quick glance at Harry. "It's so wonderful to see you here, young lady," he said as he passed by Hermione with a smile and a wink.
She looked after him with a curious gaze before she turned her attention back to Harry. "I apparated," she said in response to his unfinished question. "I only needed to know where the airport was. And I didn't really care much about consequences. I had to see you. I knew that you'd be devastated when you didn't see me step off the plane. All it took was about a half-second of closing my eyes for me to know how much it would hurt if I were in your shoes. So as soon as I got off the plane I walked into a bathroom and I disapparated."
Harry quickly closed the distance between them and scooped her up into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she felt her feet leave the ground. "Oh, Hermione, my God," he breathed through his tears. "I thought you hadn't come. I thought-"
"I'm here, Harry," she whispered against his ear. "I couldn't possibly stay away."
Harry kissed the side of her head and slowly set her back on solid ground. "I'm so glad you came," he said as the last vestiges of fear dissipated and a feeling of completeness overcame him.
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