This Broken Heart
This Broken Heart is performed by Something Corporate if you're interested in reading the lyrics as they are kind of like a summary of the chapter. The same goes for the rest of the chapters
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He looked at her from across the room, a fire of contempt burning through his eyes at the way she was acting, despite the fact that he was doing exactly the same thing. But it didn't matter, she shouldn't be acting like she was, like she has been for the past six months. It just wasn't fair, on him. It was painful. He couldn't believe that what they had had last year had meant nothing to her. That she didn't remember or at least that's how it had appeared to him.
How could she? How dare she forget what they had. How could she just move on to someone else after he told her what he did? How dare she look so goddamn beautiful standing next to that prick? He just wished he could just walk up to them and break his face
Subconsciously he balled his hand into a fist and let out a small growl of annoyance. Would it have been hurting him so much if nothing had happened between them last year? Doubtful. She never did seem to understand the magnitude of what he felt for her and perhaps that is what her problem was, both of their problems.
"What's wrong Jamie?" a voice purred in his ear, slowly followed by something moist, her tongue. He tried not to flinch as he looked at the blonde on his lap. Refusing to answer he dipped down his head and captured her mouth with hers to make her stop talking
Good thing it was dark, he thought, as he pushed his hand up her top while his tongue was entering her mouth. She moaned and she drove one of her hands at the back of his head to pull him closer, as her other hand was pulling his shirt from his trousers. He slowly massaged the small of her back before raising his hand further up to capture her breast. At contact she arched her back to him, as his hands were cold. He groaned in returned as she applied more pressure on his lap and he could instantly feel her smile against him as she began moving her hand further down
Before things began getting more intimate they were interrupted
"James?" a melodic voice floated towards them. His head snapped toward the intruder and closed his eyes for a second in order to keep the turmoil inside him at bay.
"Evans?" he mocked with a scowl as he drove one of his hands through his hair, never taking his eyes off hers
"Rachel" she added in a low voice, moving her head semi-acknowledging the blonde. He smirked satisfied, finally pulling his remaining hand from her shirt
"Lily" Rachel growled, not really liking her interrupting her make out session with James. Lily didn't notice, as she had turned her gaze to James once more.
"James, we have to go open the dance floor" she told him. He stared at her blankly
"What?" he asked dumbfound, still staring. She raised an eyebrow at his stupidity
"We have to dance the first dance in order to start the ball" she muttered exasperatedly. She didn't really want to but she had to
"Why" he asked in a childish voice. She smiled and he shot her a glare
"Because you're Head Boy" she replied, her temper beginning to rise. Why was he acting like this?
James bent his head low and cursed. He really didn't want to dance with this creature, not after what had happened between them only last year. But he knew he had an obligation to do so due to his position, which drove him crazy. Why had he been named Head Boy? Just another twist of fate presumably, or maybe someone was having a very cruel laugh about it somewhere. He had thought many times actually, to go and resign, but he knew he couldn't.
Shaking his head, he stood up abruptly, causing Rachel to fall to the ground. She whined loudly but James merely looked at her and muttered an apology and left without a backward glance. Lily rolled her eyes at the blonde and turned around to go after James
She had found him in the middle of the dance floor waiting for her with a look of great distaste plastered on his face. There was something about him, something different, that she couldn't place, and it made her worry in the back of her mind, but she had dismissed it as typical James behavior. This is how he had been acting towards her since last year
"Right, so lets get this over and done with shall we?" he grumbled as he took one of her hands and put his other hand around her waist. Her other hand went around his shoulder as the music around them began to play
It was a soft melodic song that brought back memories to both of them; memories of pain, ecstasy, want and angst. He subconsciously held her tighter
"You in a hurry to get away from me James?" she asked jokingly, a smile forming on her lips. He stared at her intently for a few seconds
"Yes" he answered, making her stop smiling. No matter whether or not she would ever admit it, that had hurt. She looked over his shoulder with a scowl on her face
"To go to your little slut?" she bit back. He had almost smiled at her jealousy. But there was no reason for it. He didn't want it anymore. He didn't want anything that she had to give him
"No" he stated. She looked at him and he looked forward, over her head. "I want to leave" he added
A bit more into the song they had settled in an uncomfortable silence, looking in front of them and not at each other. Couples had begun coming into the dance circle and began dancing around them
"So, how's Derek?" he asked her in a bored tone. He was referring to her boyfriend of six months. Her head snapped up to him
"James" she warned
"Oh, come on Evans, you cant tell me I cant ask can you? After what happened-" but he was cut off
"James!" she exclaimed, looking around wildly in case anyone had heard
"Still scared, aren't you Lily?" he muttered with a smirk
"I am not! You have no right to mention it. Especially in public. Who the hell do you think you are?" she snapped at him. Fire blazed in his eyes again as she spoke
"I'll tell you who I am Evans" he growled as he leaned towards her. "I'm the one that you shagged for the majority of last year. I'm the one that wanted you more than life itself. I'm the only one that can ever fulfil you" he traced his hand across her cheek, "I'm the one that loved you." He traced his hand down her arm, as they had stopped moving and just stood there, facing each other
"James" she whimpered
"I'm the one you broke in half" he finally whispered against her ear. Her eyes snapped open (when had she closed them?) and she stared into his eyes
"James I-" she began. His eyes lit with fire, stopping her
"Don't you even think of saying you're sorry. You might have been my first, but you sure as hell wont be my last" he snapped just as the song had finished. Without another word or another glance, he turned his heel and stormed out of the Hall
Lily was left breathing heavily in the middle of the dance floor as, couples continued dancing around her. Her closeness with James had brought back what had happened last year. Her throat was dry and she felt the need to drink something very strong. Hoping that Sirius had spiked the punch, she made her way towards the food and beverages' table
"Hi sweetie" she heard her boyfriend greet her as she arrived. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she turned to him
"Hey" she said in a dull voice
"Are you ok?" he asked her worriedly looking her up and down. He put an arm around her waist and tried to guide her to their table. Instead she swatted his hand away
"I want to get some punch first" she told him. He gave her a look and put his arm around her again
"No good. Black's already spiked it" he tried to lead her away. She swatted him away, this time he raised an eyebrow at her
"Very good. Exactly what I need" she told him. He looked surprised but she didn't give him any explanation. "Now go back to our table and I'll be right there" she added. Apprehensively he turned back to the table, and Lily made her way to the punch
She allowed herself to roll her eyes at her boyfriend's inability to trust her with walking alone from one side of the Hall to the other. It was sweet, at the beginning at least, then it just got boring and just plain unnecessary. She had been thinking like that for some time now. She didn't feel the need to be with him anymore, and she wondered at how she might be able to break it off
As she finally found herself at her boyfriend's table she struggled to find what was right with him. He appeared to be smart, and he was, but that was about it. He never talked about anything but books. On another note, he didn't turn her on much at night. Well not like James used to anyway
James
As the talk of the table turned to books, as it undeniably would have, as the majority was Ravenclaws, she sat back, enjoying her spiked punch and thoughts of what James might be doing at this moment
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James had similar thoughts as he stood on the Astronomy Tower, smoking a muggle cigarette and watching the night sky; the magnitude of it and its secrets always mesmerized him. It was the only place he could be himself, he came to realize as he took another drag from the cigarette. He breathed in the drug and allowed it to burn his chest pleasantly before blowing out the smoke
He approached the edge and looked down. He extinguished the cigarette and threw the bud down the frame of the castle, watching it fall to the ground. He remained a few more seconds before shaking his head, which was filled with a redheaded beauty that destroyed his life, he turned around and went inside
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A/N hope you all liked the beginning to this. I had it on Fanfiction but they took it off. Anyway enjoy and don't forget to review J