Disease
Matchbox 20 ~ Disease
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Lily was finding it very difficult to concentrate in class the next few days. So much that it got her into trouble. Although the incident had occurred a few nights earlier, she couldn't get the image of a wet James out of her mind. Every time the image would appear, she couldn't help but wish she was one of the drops of water flowing down his body on the towel around his waist, then move further down his body. She knew he would have liked it; he loved anything to do with water.
She sighed. She had been doing that for quite some time now, but she couldn't help but do so. She had stopped trying to stop the images from appearing in her mind's eyes, for two reasons; she had tried and she had failed. Other than that, he was just too gorgeous not to look at. She shook her head once more, trying to concentrate on the transfiguration lesson at hand.
Mental images of a very wet James Potter were not something to be taken lightly when you were in the company of many, let alone in class with Professor McGonagall as your teacher.
Yet within seconds she allowed herself to retire from Professor McGonagall's lecture about shapeshifters, by letting her head drop to the back to stare at the ceiling. This time she thought of Derek and she felt a slight tingle of guilt at her actions that day. She knew she had to do what she did. She couldn't be lusting after someone else when she had a boyfriend. Now that she didn't have one she could wallow in her self pity.
She had no one now. No boyfriend, and no James. She had regretted doing it the very same night when she couldn't sleep again. Images of James invaded her mind every second of the day, and, frankly, it was driving her crazy. She smiled mirthlessly, sweet misery. How could that man be so dark and yet be able to affect her so much, she thought as she began breathing hard
Because he was your first, a little voice said inside her head
Shut up, she countered
But it's true. And you know you love the fact that you were his first
Shut up
And you know he was right at Halloween Ball
"Shut up" she repeated, not realizing that she actually said it out loud. Silence followed and eyes all over the room watched her closely
"Excuse me Miss Evans?" Professor McGonagall asked, raising both an eyebrow as well as her voice. Everyone looked between the two repeatedly, waiting for a move. Only one person had their eyes on her the entire time, and she begged her own not to look at him, as she knew that she would end up paying dearly
"Miss Evans, did you or did you not tell me to shut up?" she asked with fake politeness, her eyes boring into Lily's. Lily remained silent; wishing the ground would swallow her right there and then. Nothing happened. The Professor sighed angrily
"Detention Miss Evans, for impudence and not paying attention in my lesson" she told her. Lily was about to speak, but the professor had already turned around. Lily couldn't help but wonder why Professor McGonagall had sneaked a glance in James Potter's direction as she did so, though she had a feeling that deep down inside she didn't want to know the answer to that
Everything was forgotten when she did what she had ordered herself not to do. She glanced at him. Immediately she knew she had done something wrong. His eyes sank into hers and she could feel heat rising up inside her. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't pull her eyes from the dark hazel coloured ones that were looking at her.
She could see the smirk playing on his lips but there was something in his eyes. Something that made her forget reason and thought. Something that made her anticipate his next move. Something that made her excited and worried at the same time
"Lily" Emma hissed at her, the same time that Sirius hissed at James. She saw James' eyes flash with annoyance and she smiled inside. She was affecting him. She turned to Emma who was staring at her expectantly
"What?" she asked finally, as neither of them spoke
"What was that?" she asked in a strangled whisper, still staring at her
"What was what?" Lily asked stupidly. She knew what Emma meant, but unfortunately she didn't know what it was either
"Not paying attention in class? Staring at Potter? That, Evans, what was that" she said throwing her sight in James' direction so Lily understands. Lily almost rolled her eyes at her friend's irritability. It was expected of course. She just wished wasn't so obvious about it
"Nothing. I just didn't sleep very well last night," she half lied. Well she didn't; who would with James' body tormenting their mind? Let anyone who can come forth and I will shake their hand, she mentally asked
"And what about the staring?" Emma insisted
"I wasn't staring," Lily tried to fib. Emma raised an eyebrow. "I swear"
"Whatever Lily. When you decide to tell me what's really going on, you know where to find me" Emma said finally, just as the bell rang. She gathered her things up fast and went out the door.
Just as Lily was doing the same, she heard the words she hoped she wouldn't have to hear since last year.
"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter please stay behind in order to discuss your detentions," Professor McGonagall said as she looked down at her notes.
James, almost at the door, cursed and turned to her with a fake smile.
"Of course, Professor," he spoke through his teeth. Lily had to do a double take in his direction. When did he manage to get into detention? McGonagall must have seen the perplexed look that Lily had because she answered her unasked question.
"Yes Miss Evans, you will be having detention with Mr. Potter. Apparently my lesson isn't as interesting as whatever is going on in your own little world for both of my Head students to be daydreaming in my class," she huffed. It was unheard of; two students being caught distracted in her class in the same lesson. And both the Head students no less. She huffed again and looked up.
"I must say that I am very disappointed in both of you. Not only are you seventh years, and both Gryffindors, but you are the Head students of this school and you are the first that are looked up upon by the younger students. I hate to do this but you must learn what you've done was wrong" she told them.
"And what will we be doing?" Lily asked, wanting to get away from her closeness with James. She hadn't been this close to him since that time and she couldn't handle any more as it was.
"You shall clean the Trophy Room. Merlin knows it needs dusting" she bantered on. She then waved her hand for them to leave. Lily and James turned around and without another glance at each other they moved toward the door. When they got out of the door, they went their separate ways as they had different classes to attend to, glad to finally be out of each other's company.
James cursed loudly when he was sure he was alone. Why had he been thinking of her again? Hadn't he decided that he wouldn't go anywhere near her ever again?
Easier said than done, his subconscious told him
Shut up.
What? You know I'm right. No matter how much you try Jamesie, she'll always haunt you.
Shut up.
I will as soon as you tell me I'm wrong.
You're wrong.
But do you really believe that?
That was something that he found himself unable to answer, so he stayed quiet as he continued slowly through the corridors of the castle.
Thought so.
Silence followed and he knew he had lost the battle with his mind; he couldn't help but curse once more. The thought of her still haunted him, no matter how much he hated to admit it to himself.
As he turned around a corner, he found Sirius leaning against a wall smoking. James shook his head to himself, ridding him of any thought of her, and walked over to his friend who appeared to be in his own world. He leaned against the wall next to him and pulled the cigarette from his mouth. That seemed to shake Sirius from his reverie.
"Hey!" he protested
"What have I told you about smoking in the corridors?" James said lazily as he took a drag from the cigarette before extinguishing it on the wall.
"You do it all the time" Sirius whined, and pushed himself off the wall. James did the same and smirked at his friend.
"Yea, but I never get caught," he retaliated with a wink as they began moving toward their History of Magic lesson. Sirius merely scoffed and they remained silent for a while.
"James?" Sirius broke the silence. The raven-haired boy turned to his friend and quirked an eyebrow.
"Sirius?" he imitated, but his friend just rolled his eyes.
"What's going on with you and Evans?" he blurted out. This time it was James' turn to roll his eyes. Sirius was never the one to beat around the bush.
"Nothing. I told you already" he said, not quite believing himself either. His step slowed down and Sirius followed
"Liar. You told me you'd tell me later" he went on. James mentally hit himself. Why did he promise to tell him? He knew he couldn't not do it now! Then he smirked to himself, if he couldn't hide this from his best friend, then he could at least stall until they got to class.
"That was to get rid of you," he told him through gritted teeth, but he still seemed unable to pick up his pace.
"No it wasn't.. Well maybe it was but I still know that there's something," Sirius pressed, wanting to know the truth. He hated it when people hid things from him, especially his best friend.
"There isn't. I swear!" he persisted. Why weren't his legs moving faster? Suddenly James was pushed against the stone wall and he was brought face to face with a very agitated Sirius. He gulped.
"James, I've been your best friend for much longer than that. I know you better than I know myself and I know that there's something that's on your mind. That something might be bad but it might be good, but its still something that you've been thinking of too much. Now stop stalling and tell me what happened before I force it out of you," he growled.
James gulped. This is when he saw the similarity of Sirius and his family and he remembered with a jerk why he never made him angry; as he knew there would be hell to pay for after that. Feeling some of his own temper rising he pushed Sirius' hands away from his collar, and sunk to the ground, mumbling something under his breath.
"What?" Sirius asked bewildered, sliding down next to him. James sighed in defeat and began talking to him in a louder voice.
"I.. slept with Lily" he admitted finally. A few seconds of silence before Sirius broke into fits of laughter on the floor. James stared at him in disbelief and scoffed. A few minutes later, Sirius, finally realizing that his friend was not laughing with him, stopped laughing and went back to staring at him.
"I'm glad you found it amusing," he said through clenched teeth, and began to get up, but Sirius held him down.
"You meant that you were serious?" he asked sobering up at the look he was receiving. James just grabbed his arm from Sirius' grip and crossing them both over his chest. Sirius gasped in surprise.
"When?" he asked in disbelief. James almost smiled; no one could catch Sirius off guard, but when they did, it was priceless.
"Most of last year," he said instead, closing his eyes and leaned his head against the wall behind him, enjoying the sense of freedom of this burden.
"And you tell me now?" he asked enraged. James was about to tell him that no one knew but him and Lily when suddenly he saw his eyes grow three times their normal size. Sighing, he realized that Sirius had registered something else that would be inevitable for anyone to figure out.
"You mean that she was your…" he pointed at James, who still had his eyes closed, but was now lighting another cigarette. Remembering Lily always brought out that urge.
"Yes she was my.." James interrupted, but Sirius didn't stop. James took in a large puff.
"And you were her…." he asked, unable to finish the sentence.
"Yes, I was her.." James replied almost lazily, not bothering to open his eyes just yet, letting the smoke out.
"Wow," was all he could say as he snatched the cigarette from James' mouth and took in the smoke. Aggravated, James got it back with a growl.
"And what happened? I mean things seemed pretty intense from where I was sitting," he asked, curiosity running through him. Although he was happy for his friend getting the girl he wanted, he knew that there was something missing. Why weren't they together now? And did it anything to do with James…?
"Nothing really. I asked her if she'd like to do what we were doing as a couple, she said no and broke it off, and a few days later she went out with Derek," he spat shutting his eyes even tighter, taking another, big, drag from the cigarette.
Sirius flinched at the tone of his voice. Bitch he thought, then that was probably the reason then, he realized. Six months ago was when Lily and Derek began going out, and that was about the time when they found that James tried something he shouldn't have.
"Is that why you…?" he asked in a softer tone. James just nodded, refusing to look at him.
"Right," was all he could master. There was nothing else that could be said. He hated Lily for what she did to him, but there was something inside him telling him that this story was far from over, yet for good or bad, that was to be seen.
"We missed class," James stated the obvious a while later, as he took in a final take of his cigarette. Sirius turned and saw a small smile on his lips and he found himself unable to hold back a chuckle.
"Thank you Captain Obvious" he replied, but neither made a move to get up.
"Ah, whatever, he wouldn't even notice if we were there, let alone gone," he added. And so they remained, sitting on the cold floor, in their own world until lunch.
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"Lily!" Emma hissed at her friend who was pretending to write. Her resolve of letting her come to her about what was going on, broke the moment she saw the blush on Lily's cheeks the instant she parted with James.
"Emma, please just drop it" Lily begged from the corner of her mouth, as she went on writing.
"No! You just broke up with Derek and now you're sneaking peeks at Potter, and blushing the moment you are alone with him. What's going on!" she pushed. Lily rolled her eyes as she decided to give a piece of the answer.
"I saw him in the shower a few days, and I just remembered it. It was very awkward," she whispered.
"And why were you staring at him in class then?" Emma went on. She didn't believe her and Lily knew that.
"Em, if you don't want me to lie to you please don't ask me any questions. I'll tell you when I'm ready ok?" Lily told her in an exasperated tone.
Emma observed her friend from another point of view at that moment. Lily Evans was never what you would call blunt, but that was exactly what she was now. She must be really stressed. At this she nodded and turned to her notes, but her mind couldn't stop forming her own ideas of what was happening.
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Later that night, right after dinner, Lily and James made their separate ways to their detention. When they met at the entrance of the Trophy Room, they waited in silence for Professor McGonagall to arrive. They both found themselves lucky as she came five minutes later.
"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," she greeted, "you must clean as many trophies as you are able to by the end of the hour. You will not use magic so I would like you to hand over your wands. They will be returned to you tomorrow morning at breakfast," she ended as she extended both her hands out in order to receive the two wands. Lily gave hers but James didn't. McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sorry Professor but I thought that's what you would do so I just left it in my dorm to begin with," he grinned at her charmingly. The aging professor surveyed him for a few seconds before shaking her head.
"Very well Mr. Potter," she told him as she turned to face both of them. "You may go when the hour is over. Unfortunately, I won't be able to supervise so you will be on your own. I'm taking a large leap of faith in trusting you to not leave before you are assigned to do so. Please show me that my trust is justified," she added and with nods from both Head students she turned her heal and left.
The two students now faced the Trophy room in utter horror. The last time this room had been cleaned was last year, and both of them would know; they had cleaned it, together.
Silently they moved towards the first trophies that they would be cleaning. James looked at Lily and sighed.
Man she looks beautifu.l
Shut up, where the hell did that come from?
But she is, there's no use in denying it.
Yes there is! Fuck off!
Come on James, she's got a lot of things going for her.
Oh, for Merlin's sake!!!
She's gorgeous.
Shut up!
She's smart.
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
She can turn you on faster than any woman alive.
Shut the hell up!!
And she's amazing in bed.
"Oh, fuck this!" he muttered loudly as he was scrubbing one of the trophies as if it had never been cleaned.
Lily turned to him in confusion. When she saw that he was talking to himself, she smirked at him before hitting him over the head with her cleaning cloth. In turn he snapped out of his dream state and stared at her in disbelief, and fro a moment they stood there as they let the world around them move as they remained still. When the moment was gone, James made a move to hit her back. And so started a long tug of war between the two with their cloths.
They forgot their past, their problems. James forgot his "hate" for her, and Lily forgot her "hesitation" toward him. They acted how they did the year before, when they were together. And they had both loved it and hated it at the same time
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When they had decided that they should in fact go back to their detention, they realized that they had done nothing for longer than half an hour. Although they knew that there wouldn't be checked on when the hour was over, McGonagall would know whether they did anything.
With fifteen minutes to work on, they went back to work, and James found himself unable to concentrate on anything but Lily. He tried to but he really couldn't. He wanted her, but he didn't want to.
"So, how's Derek?" he asked a few minutes later. He saw her flinch at his words, and he almost felt bad. Almost.
"I don't know," she mumbled back. James couldn't do anything but stare.
"You mean you don't know how your own bloody boyfriend is Evans?" he asked with spite. He wanted to forget their last hour together. It was something that he needed to disregard
"He's not my bloody boyfriend, so you can shut up now!" she almost shouted back, throwing her cloth on the floor and turning to face him. If she hadn't been so upset she would have laughed at the expression on his face.
"What do you mean he's not your -" he began but was cut short by Lily.
"I mean we broke up ok? I broke up with him three days ago," she went on, her temper rising. James knew what he was doing though, and this is exactly what he wanted.
"Breaking hearts again Evans? And here I thought that was just special treatment for me," he growled at her. His mind kept flashing Dangerous Territory but either he didn't realize it or he didn't want to. He wanted to make her hurt.
Lily refused to answer his question and bent down to pick up her cloth so she could clean the trophy she was cleaning before. Eight minutes remaining, she thought and sighed deeply.
"Why did you decide to put another one on your record Evans?" he went on, trying to anger her even more. But he was surprised when she turned around with a determination her eyes.
"You really want to know why James?" she asked him as she advanced. She had only been like this once before and he didn't like it in the present situation. He knew it would lead to something bad.
"Well do you?" she said as she found herself in front of him. He wanted to leave but his legs wouldn't budge. Numbly he nodded unable to do anything else.
Before either of them knew what was happening, she had grabbed his collar and brought his lips to hers. Just as he had done a few nights ago, she merely pressed her lips on his and barely moved them. Slowly though, when he didn't move away, she began moving them more and soon her desire fro him to kiss back grew, so she darted her tongue against his lower lip, but at this he moved away, as if burnt.
Through this entire thing, James' mind was not there. He wasn't able to register the fact that Lily was kissing him, until he felt her tongue against his lip. At this alarms, went off in his mind and he pushed away, instantly wanting to go back to her, but he knew he couldn't, so he stared at her for a few seconds before turning his heel and walked out.
"We're not finished here," she shouted after him, unable to say anything else. Immediately she regretted it. She had just kissed him and she was complaining about her detention. But she wanted him to come back to her and that was the first thing that she could think of mentioning.
But instead of coming back, he took out his wand from inside his robe and performed a cleaning spell without turning back. He then proceeded to walk out of the door. Lily flaring with anger and disappointment ran after him.
"You can't do that!" she shouted at him, but he didn't even look at her. In fact he was breathing heavily for some reason and he was blinking fast.
"I can and I did, now stop complaining," he told her. But she couldn't, she wanted more of a reaction from him. She had just kissed him and that's all he can say? And why wont he stop walking so fast?
"But we're going to get caught," she went on, but she knew that she was not going to believed. The number of times they had done that last year. In response he raised an eyebrow and smirked, knowing exactly what was going on in her mind.
"Just leave me alone, Lily," he said after some silence. They were both surprised by the emotion in his voice, and he coughed and began walking a bit faster. Lily, not wanting to leave him, matched his stride. Having enough James turned to her with the intention of shouting at her, but the words died on his lips at the sight of her.
Her hair was everywhere from her fast walking, and her cheeks were flushed for the same reason. This picture alone brought back so many memories for him that he could do nothing but bend down and kiss her. So he did.
At first it was an innocent kiss. He placed his hands on her cheeks and brought her face to him, placing his lips on her, but unlike the kiss they had sheared just moments before, they both moved their lips, massaging each other. Seconds passed as they stood in the middle of the corridor standing there, before James pressed his tongue against her lips demanding entrance. Lily allowed him into her mouth where he was met by her own tongue.
It was the exact opposite of what they had ever shared. Last year, no matter what he was going through, James was tender and even loving. Now he was rough and demanding, wanting more and more out of her. She could feel the pain inside him and his need for her touch. This excited her and scared her at the same time and so tried to show as much as the emotional turmoil inside her as she could.
As soon as their tongues met, innocence was lost. Lily's hands went to his neck where she drove him to her even more. James' hands went to her hips and guided her towards the corridor wall, where he pressed his entire body up against hers. She moaned in his mouth as she felt him against her. At her moan, James clutched on her hips even harder. Lily wanted nothing more to have him right there and then, even if they were in the middle of the corridor. He wanted her and she knew it, the same way that he knew that she wanted him, but she could feel something new in him. Something that wasn't quite right.
Before long, they needed air and so they pulled away, breathing heavily. James let go of her hips and brought his hands up to cup her face once more. After rubbing her lips with his thumb, he leaned in and gave her a single kiss on the mouth. After this he moved his hands to hers, where he disentangled from his hair and took a step back, his eyes locked with hers.
"Please Lily, just leave me alone" he begged and left in one of the directions of the hallway, leaving Lily to stare after him, unsatisfied once again.
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Alex C. Potter ~> He does doesn't he? Well I don't know what I'll do with him yet but we'll see. Hope you still like it despite the late update
Mani12191 ~> The entire story is not planned out but I have chapters in my mind. But the thing is I have to write something to link them, but its not going bad. This fic will probably be over 15 chapters long but we'll see
Anonymous ~> Well there you go then and I hope you enjoy it
Hazeleyedmarauder ~> Sorry for the wait I got hung up on my exams L
Hazydayz ~> you need my story? Lol thank you very much..I'm glad you liked it so much enough to review twice hehe
Radcliffluvslave ~> So what do you think of this chapter? Sexual tension enough? Angst? There will be much more to come
Greenevans ~> Oh, there's a long way before the can manage to live happily ever after
BluejeanMistress ~> Thank you so much! Well I haven't planed it exactly but its going to be over 15 chapters if that's any help hehe
Jesse81358 ~> Its rated Nc-17 because of how things will evolve between James and Lily and some other things. But you'll have to wait for that. This is the unedited version of the one that's on fanfiction due to that exact thing. Just wait and see, and I hope you like it
Missclearwater ~> * evil laugh * have patience and you shall see
Laurie100117 ~> Hehe thanks
Little miss perfect ~> Thank you very much J
Mercedes1327 ~> Oh there will be a few flashbacks so don't worry about that. Sorry it took so long
Sprklnbabe14 ~> Sorry it took so long! I didn't even realize the time had passed so fast
A/N Oh my God! I am so sorry for the long wait but my bloody exams have started and I have a lot of art to do otherwise I'm dead. Hope you keep reading regardless of my incompetence in updating fast and keep the reviews coming! Hehe