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Coeur Corrompu
Chapter Ten
It's over and done but the heartache lives on inside
And who's the one you're clinging to instead of me tonight?
And where are you now, now that I need you?
Tears on my pillow wherever you go
I'll cry me a river that leads to your ocean
You never see me fall apart
In the words of a broken heart
It's just emotion that's taken me over
Caught up in sorrow, lost in my soul
But if you don't come back
Come home to me, darling
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to hold me tight
Don't you know there's nobody left in this world to kiss goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight
Destiny's Child - Emotion
The typical British winter day would start of dark and dreary. There wouldn't be a full round sun melting the worlds nightmares away. There wouldn't be happy people going out to their cars in anticipation of work. There would though be a dingy tinge to the frozen air. Some would say that in comparison with a sunlit morning it was ugly. Others though, that looked beyond the roots of mere senses to the world around them would see the truth. It might be bitterly cold, but the way the grass was laced with frozen treasures was simply unique. Walking on the frozen ground would release a satisfying crunch, which could bring a smile to the oldest of faces. The warmth of human breath would chill in the air forming the smoke of a dragon. Winter was an enchanting place where anything could become real.
It was on a day like this that Ginny woke up to and she wasn't exactly pleased about it. In all honesty she was pretty peeved at the world in general. Her mind was whirling with conspiratus thoughts of nailing a certain part of a certain person's anatomy to a wall. A slight cruel smile played about her lips as she rolled over and contemplated how to exact her revenge. Ginny's nature wasn't normally to act so insanely, but there was something about Draco Malfoy that was driving her that way. He was always in her thoughts and recently had embarrassed her in the worst way possible. Now she was baying for his blood and wanting his body at the same time.
Curling her body into a tight ball, she pulled the covers round her more, letting the warmth seep into her bones. Lazy mornings were essential for a woman who wanted to get a day of nothing achieved. To anyone else it sounded like madness, but to Ginny it was a rule. Some people didn't understand how hard it was to actually do nothing all day! It took time and control, everything she considered she had and needed for a couple of days. A rest was definitely in the cards. There would be no more thoughts of work, family, Harry or Draco.
The problem with this rule was she couldn't stop thinking about him. In an attempt to get him off her mind she had given up calling him by any name other than 'him'. She had seen it on some muggle programme that if you use a name then it makes it personal. So, Ginny wasn't going to use his name unless she had too. This though was not under any circumstances going to happen. The programme had foretold this also. Apparently men could monopolise a woman's thoughts and this in itself was another reason to hate them. To the rational mind this was completely stupid but for the millions of scorned women who watched it, it was right to the bitter end.
Slowly she sat up and raked away the hair that was plastered to the side of her face. A groan emitted from her lips at the numbness of her right cheek. With a single glance to the mirror by the bed, Ginny was graced with a heart wrenching glimpse of her face. Leaning forward eagerly she grimaced at the sight that beheld her. Not only did she have pillow marks engraved into the pink flesh of her face, but a spot imitating Everest was positioned right in the middle of her forehead. She swore loudly, blaspheming any god that had the nerve to be listening in her bedroom. Why was it that even when you left the hell of teenage life, you were still haunted by spots?
Ginny didn't have enough time to contemplate this matter further though because a loud ringing noise suddenly rose up from the lower depths of the house. Another sigh escaped her lips and, as quickly as she could go without falling over, leapt out of bed. Grabbing a lilac dressing gown that had been discarded the night before, she pulled it on over the huge Chudley Cannons t-shirt and legged it down the stairs. The problem with doing this was that as soon as she reached the second to last step, she slipped backwards and skidded down the rest. She landed at the foot of the stairs with a thud and a wince. The day was gradually getting worse and worse and yet the phone kept ringing to spite her pain.
'Bugger,' she muttered as she stood up. With one hand placed firmly at the base of her spine, she grabbed the offending phone and placed to her ear. Instantly she knew the caller. Only one person would use a muggle device and ask if it was working over and over again before she'd picked up. 'Hello Mum.'
'Ah! Ginny, darling! Is this working? I told Arthur that it would be easier to owl but he insisted this needed testing…and well I do know how you love to be Muggle modern dear…' It was the voice of Molly Weasley and it was not to be messed with. Without even having to say anything, Ginny instantly knew that this call meant business. '…You know what your fathers like dear. He always wants to explore the muggle world; personally I don't see the attraction. Anyway dear, how are you?'
'Oh you know…fine,' Ginny said as her eyes went to the small mirror across the hall from her.
'Yes, yes. Well today I'm going to be making cheese flan and me and Daddy would like you to come and join us. Ron's been telling me that you and Harry are going through a rough patch, which is an awful shame darling.'
'It's not a rough patch Mum. We've split up. I told you that a couple of weeks ago!' she retorted sharply.
'Well you know what your like Ginny, always changing your mind from one minute to the next,' Molly persisted, 'Anyway I'll be expecting you here at around 12-ish. Ok?'
'I can't…'
'And why on earth not?! You never seem to have time for your dear old mum anymore. Just like the boys…' A loud and resounding sniff came from the other end of the line. The Burrow had not been the same since all of Molly's children had left to go their own ways, and Ginny knew how this made her mother feel. Often Molly would call late at night because she couldn't sleep without knowing her "babies" were safe. Ginny also knew that this was her mother's favourite guilt trip and it worked every single time.
'Fine,' Ginny said gently while glaring at the spot on her forehead in the mirror, 'See you at 12.'
'I knew you would see my way, dear. Soul food is what you need! See you then!' And with that the phone disconnected, leaving Ginny alone with her thoughts of how to cover up the spot that was shining like a neon sign on her forehead.
***
'What are you wearing?!'
This was a very good question Ginny thought. Her choice of clothing hadn't exactly been easy to make. First of all there had been covering up the spot, which in itself was a great feat. She had tried to cover it up casually with her hand but had come to the conclusion that it wasn't going to work. Then she tied a light summer scarf round her head Rambo style. This would only add to her public humiliation even more. So Ginny had resolved to try covering it up with a touch of make up. Unfortunately the only kind of cover up she had was a shade to dark and when put against her pale skin made the spot even more noticeable. Having washed it off in a mad fury, her forehead had gone a bloody shade of pink that had practically reduced her to tears.
Drastic times called for drastic measures in her world, and that's what she intended to do. Storming into her bedroom, Ginny had flung open the wardrobe and pulled out a hideous black knit woolly hat. It had been bought a few years back when she had been going through her hippy phase. Having been cut on the bias it fit perfectly on her head, with the rim coming down over her forehead and stopping just above her eyes. It had ear flaps that then came down and tied under her chin. Instead of the traditional bobble on the top of the hat, there was a plait of thick black wool. All in all it was the perfect hat for covering up the blob like spot.
Looking at it reminded her of the day she bought it all those years ago. It had been an abnormally warm winter's day and her and Harry had been going out for a couple of months. He had taken her into a little muggle clothes shop in London and when she first saw it she fell in love. Harry had bought it for her with a smile, even though she knew he thought it was ugly. Now though she realised it was ugly. The only reason she had kept it was to remind her of him. Thoughts of this though were pushed away to the realms of her past.
Having placed the hat firmly on her head, Ginny tucked in all her hair leaving only a single red curl in front of her face. Now all she had to do was find an outfit to match the hat. She had raked through all her clothes and finally pulled out a long black skirt and a black polo neck jumper that was four sizes too big. Pulling those on, she had viewed herself in mirror, and then adding a scarf she had disapparated to her real home. The Burrow.
Upon arriving she was confronted by this question and a look of horror on the face of Molly Weasley. She had always considered herself to be a good dresser, but she had to agree with her mother. What was she wearing? It was amazing what a spot could do for you.
'It's my new look mum.'
'Oh well. I suppose it's your decision really…you are old enough to look after yourself.' The way she said it made Ginny inwardly sigh. It was phrased in almost a question like manner, which meant Molly was unsure of her daughter's capabilities of looking after herself. 'Well, the flans on the table. You're father had to go out to the Ministry, so it's just me and you.'
Taking her seat at the table Ginny looked down at the plate in front of her. Most of the time she wished she was back at home again with someone to look after her. She missed the hussle and bussle of the Weasley clan life, and though she tried to make her house more like a home it would never compare. The only time Ivy Cottage, her little house, ever felt like home was when her family or Harry was there. Neither of these things seemed to happen much, so she preferred to bury herself in as much work as possible. Sitting there now though, she felt over come with want to be a naïve teenage girl again. At least then it wouldn't be so complicated, she thought.
'So dear,' Molly began as she took her place at the table, 'what's wrong?'
'Nothing's wrong Mum. I just have a lot of work going on right now.' she said with a weak smile. It was hard trying to be brave in front of the person who knew you best in the whole wide world. They always had a way of seeing straight through the mask. 'Nothing at all.'
'See I know that's a lie Virginia Weasley.' Molly said sternly. 'For one thing you're wearing that awful hat that you haven't worn for years. Then there's the despondent attitude and the fact I know Harry wants you to go to China with him.'
'How did you know that?' she asked in honest surprise. She was pretty sure she hadn't told her mother of Harry's proposal. At the time she had thought that her mother's reaction would be to cry or assume that she intended to run away with him. It could swing either way in her imagination. Molly would either find it incredibly romantic or hate Harry for asking in the first place.
'Hermione told me when she was here with your brother.' Molly said with a slight mischievous smile. 'They seem to be getting on quite well.'
Ginny smiled slightly. 'I always knew Hermione liked Ron as much as he likes her.'
'Oh no dear!' Molly exclaimed. 'Hermione was here with George, not Ron. Apparently they were working on a charm for her to use in the capture of Draco Malfoy, but I didn't buy that for a moment. They were up in his old room for far too short a time for it to be a complicated charm.'
Ginny felt her jaw drop slightly. In the past couple of weeks her whole world was beginning to fall apart around her. She had lost a boyfriend, gained a job, fallen in lust with Draco, had to put up with a whole load of crap from various people and now the romance she had always thought would happen wasn't. Oh and on top of all that she had a spot on her forehead. It was all so surreal. How could Hermione and George be together? A mental image of them in bed together made Ginny shudder and wrinkle her nose.
'Anyway, I don't want to talk about their love lives. I want to know what you're going to say to Harry when he comes for your answer.' Molly said cutting off any thoughts Ginny was having at the time.
'No, of course. I'm not giving up my job and leaving my family for a man who didn't even consider asking me in the first place. It took me rejecting him to make him see the light and actually ask! He isn't even making a life commitment Mum. What if it all went wrong while I was out there, and I was left alone to fend for myself?! So the answer if defiantly…maybe…no.'
'Well if you're sure. You know I don't want to see you go, but I do want you to be happy. So if he is what makes you happy then I'm not going to stop you fulfilling that.' Molly said slowly, with a small sad smile.
'I'm not even sure if he does make me happy anymore. I was so angry with him for what he did and I hoped so much that he would change his mind…then when he did I felt nothing. I didn't feel excitement or joy…It felt so wrong.' Ginny whispered as she looked down into her lap.
'Ginny,' Molly said softly, 'It's ok to have a change of heart. Change isn't always a bad thing, you know? Sometimes it makes us stronger and gives us something new. Something much more then what you had.'
Ginny looked up slowly and considered everything that had happened recently. When Harry had kissed her it had been mild and almost boring. When Draco had kissed her though, it had been exciting and dangerous. She had wanted more and put it all down to the fact that it was because she couldn't have him. They do say that that the grass is always greener on the other side. He didn't love her like Harry did.
'Mum…I think I might be in love with someone else. At least that's what it feels like.' Ginny said slowly and with a thoughtful frown.
'Oh?' Molly said with a smile. 'Do I know him?'
She shook her head and looked at her mother earnestly. 'I'm not even sure I know him Mum. I thought I did, and I thought badly of him…but then he came into my life again and I can't stop thinking about him. He embodies everything bad for me, yet I want him to be good for me.'
'Does he feel the same about you?'
'I don't know. He kissed me, but then told me he shouldn't ever kiss me again. I think he was just humouring me.'
'Maybe he wasn't Ginny. Maybe he is thinking like you are. Maybe he thinks you are too good for him to have.' Molly said with a knowing look, which added to Ginny's curiosity. It sounded almost as if Molly knew exactly what was happening in her life.
'But he can't offer me anything, because he has nothing. Soon he'll be dead to me and I'll never see him again…' she said almost to herself, 'just like Harry.'
'It's ok to fall in love with the wrong people, dear. Sometimes we can't help it. I mean when I met your father I knew he wasn't going to be the kind of man I was looking for in a husband, but he got under my skin. Maybe he was wrong at the time, but now he is perfectly right. You don't find the love of your life everyday.'
'You wouldn't like him. In fact you'd probably hate him and so would the others.'
'My mother hated Arthur, but I knew I couldn't live without him. You just have to do what's best for you and sod what the rest of the world thinks. Just because we think its wrong doesn't mean we're right.'
Ginny looked at her mother and considered everything she must have been through. Molly Weasley had done what she herself had always aspired to do. She had found the love of her life, got a family, and cared for them as best she could. Maybe this wasn't perfection in every aspect, but did it matter?
'He's gone though. How will I find him?' Ginny said gently.
'You're an Auror's researcher dear! You can find out anything you want to. If you think like that you'll soon be able to find him and your case.' Molly said with yet another knowing glance.
'My case?'
'Why of course! Draco Malfoy can't be that difficult to find. Just look for the mob and you'll find the man.'
'Mum…?' Ginny said questioningly. She wasn't entirely sure what her mother was implying but it sounded pretty accurate in all accounts. Could she know that the object of her daughter's lust was a Malfoy? No…it was impossible. Then again it would be plausible from all the facts presented. She did know her the best…
Molly rose from her seat with a smile and magically a small brown paper bag appeared. 'Now dear, here is half a cheese flan,' she said passing it over to Ginny. 'Remember to not heat it in the oven for too long or it'll dry out. Oh and if you want to get rid of that spot, I would use a simple charm. For the life of me I can't understand why you haven't already?'
Ginny frowned in confusion but stood and took the bag. It was a mystery how her mother knew all these things. Maybe she was psychic…or psychotic. It was a difficult choice in her mind. She laughed to herself and gave her mother a tight hug with a kiss on her cheek.
Somehow things seemed so much easier when she was about to disapparate home.
***
The price of milk might not be the most interesting topic of conversation in the modern world, but Ginny considered that it should be. Maybe if the price of milk was discussed more, then there would be fewer troubles in the world. It was a stupid notion, but as she walked down the small muggle road she couldn't help but consider it. The muggle world could be so boring in comparison with the world of magic. Then again it could be more tragic then even she could ever imagine and as she rounded the corner to her street this became even more apparent.
The carrier bag containing her milk almost clattered to the floor when she saw the crowds of people hovering around the little cottage opposite her own. Her eyes immediately flew to her own little house and her first fear was that the cat might not be safe. Slowly though, it began to dawn on her that the problem wasn't with Ivy Cottage but with Holly Cottage, which lay opposite and a little left of her house. Flames seemed to be billowing out of the upper floors of the tiny building and the thatch roof that had been kept out of tradition. Ginny wasn't entirely sure what to think. Her heart was beating faster and she itched to grab her wand and make everything better. She couldn't though, it was the rules.
Another fire engine screamed round the corner, the blue of its lights cutting into the dulling skies. Water was already spraying into the upstairs windows and Ginny couldn't see an end to the fire and water. She walked forward and looked around at all the people gathering. Some were crying and a feeling of dread began to seep into her stomach. Something about this didn't seem right. Then it struck her; an idea that maybe if she'd been at home that day this might not have happened. That she might have been able to call an ambulance quickly or stop the fire. Then another sickening thought struck her. What if this wasn't a muggle situation? She was the only magical being living in this small street. Her pace quickened.
'What happened?' Mrs Johansson was asking Harriet from the post office.
'I don't really know! I was…walking…and I heard this scream…when I looked up I'm sure I could see green…but then there were flames. So many flames…' Harriet said in a voice that showed her sadness and shock.
Ginny froze at this. Green…her stomach did a somersault and she tried to hold back the nauseous feeling that was beginning to sweep over her. It couldn't be possible could it? Ron and Hermione had warned her that she would become a target, but she had never considered it to be true. She had guarded her house with charms and spells, but they would never be enough against the dark arts. She had never even considered that there was any other way they could get to her. Again the world felt surreal. Quickly she spun round and ran into her house, slamming the front door behind her.
It felt like the world was spinning out of control as she slumped against the back of the door and dropped to the floor. Gently she put the milk down on the floor and covered her face with her hands. Her shoulders slowly began to shake as the tears began to fall down her face. It was all her fault this had happened. She had destroyed someone's home and possibly killed them by thinking of herself too much. A groan escaped her lips as she fought for air among the tears.
'Virginia?'
Ginny looked up at the over towering figure of Draco. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before pushing her way to her feet and flinging her arms around his neck. As she buried her head into the crook of his neck something struck her as odd. His arms were tight around her waist and there was a vague smell of…petrol.