Unofficial Portkey Archive

Coeur Corrompu

Chapter Eighteen

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you.
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait… without you

My hands are tied, my body bruised
She got me with nothing to win
And nothing else to lose

With Or Without You - U2

'Cathleen! Cathleen! Don't do this to me. Don't do this to us…I love you. Can't you see it? It gives me a glow that couldn't be rivalled by Denver! If you go to him now, you will never know what could have been…what would have been! We have something special Cathleen. Something more then just you and me being together - it's big enough to blind the world…Just don't go!'

'Shush Calvin. You know this would never have worked. We fight all the time and the only thing enjoyable about that is knowing we'll make up in a couple of moments. But what if we couldn't get past the fight? I would be left alone. My family will disown me if I marry you and not Denver. You know this is not destined to happy…Maybe in another place, another time, we could have been together. Not now though because…'

'Why? Tell me you don't love me!'

'I don't love you Calvin. I love Denver.'

'No, you're lying Cathleen! You could never love that piece of scum. He doesn't want and need you the way I do…I love you!'

'Go now Calvin. Go before Daddy finds you out here talking to me. I don't want anything bad to happen to you.'

'Run with me! We can go where ever you like - London, Nepal, Paris, Mexico, Mars, Jupiter!'

'Shush! Someone will hear you shouting like that!'

'I don't care Cathleen! I LOVE YOU! I know you feel the same.'

'Oh Calvin…'

'One kiss Cathy, that's all I need to show you.'

The television stood motionless in the darkened room, lit only by its dancing glow. Across the screen dramatic winds cursed the sea below the cliff. It raged upwards, spraying the solitary couple stood upon the edge. Their clothes tried to escape their body and fly to the white horses, their hair whipped back and forth in rhythm to the sound of the ocean. There was very little space between Calvin and Cathleen as they gazed upon each other - deep chocolate desire flashing beneath the surface. A kiss was inevitable.

Ginny sniffed and blew her nose noisily into her tissue. Tears streamed down her face as she watched the scene unfold slowly. A lump was building in her throat, making her want to swallow it down. The problem was that it refused to be removed - it was on strike until she cried her eyes out. She took a deep breath and curled further into her chair, drawing her knees up under her chin. Her fingers reached out for the chocolate box and plucked a strawberry crème out. Slowly it made its way to her mouth and was consumed with a savage grief.

When she'd moved into Ivy Cottage, she'd been so proud to be out in the world on her own. So proud in fact that she'd wanted to show it off to all her friends and the only way to do that would be to have a big party. Ginny had been so excited she'd invited her entire family with a few friends. They had all crammed into her little house bearing gifts like wise men. Her stomach had flipped as she unwrapped one thing after another. Soon though she'd come to Harry and Hermione's joint present. It was a huge cube shape wrapped in paper. A smile had crawled lazily across her face as she'd ripped away the paper. Once revealed though, her excitement faltered.

'What is it?'

'Oh…I'd have thought you'd have seen them in Muggle studies…' Hermione had mused aloud. 'Well it's a television.'

'Okay. What is it?'

'Muggles have them in their homes. It shows moving pictures that depict stories. I've heard it's all the rage with non-magical folk. In fact it's even more popular then books!' Arthur Weasley had gushed happily. 'We once had one at the office.'

A silence fell across the room. Better the books? Surely there was nothing better then a good book read by candlelight. Then again these Muggles always were strange ones. It was no wonder they didn't live long!

'Oh…Thank you. It's very, erm, nice.'

Now she looked back at that point, she didn't know how she'd survived without her little TV. It was better then she could have ever imagined - escapism 24/7. She'd come home and switch it on, and then suddenly she'd be in a world full of romance. It didn't seem to matter that her own love life was non existent because she could simply dip into other peoples.

Soon after though, she'd started dating Harry. Her mind had been filled with thoughts of being swept of her feet and their hearts beating as one. Unfortunately her imagination had been a lot more exciting then the reality of it all. There had been no passion filled moments where they could only gaze into each others eyes. No morning rumbles between the sheets. No not being able to keep their hands off each other for a second. There hadn't even been any angst! It had simply been a comfortable way to get through spare time together. The sex hadn't even been that amazing. Overall it had been a disappointment.

Hindsight though was good enough - at the time she'd been head over heels in love.

So what was she now? There was no love left in her body for Harry. Never again would she be able to take comfort in his arms, knowing that he was not the one for her. He was simply there at the time. It had been the security that he'd offered her in a relationship that had kept them together.

'Men,' she muttered. 'Selfish pigs the lot of them! Denver might not love you the way Calvin does Cathleen, but at least he's not going to run off because he's a dangerous criminal. At least you won't be forced to live a secret life and never see your family again. I know who I'd choose.'

Gently she stroked Honey's fur to relieve some tension. She knew talking to herself was the first sign of madness, but she couldn't help it. There was no one else who understood what she was going through. In fact she wasn't even sure. The only thing that was certain was the amount of pain she was feeling. It was an unnerving wracking through her ribs, almost as if her heart was trying to burst free. Her limbs felt cold and unused, her eyes sore and her lips bitten to blood. She didn't even dare look into a mirror with the knowledge that her hair would probably look like she'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

'I know who I'd go with…' she sighed deeply. It wasn't a light sigh, but one that carried great depth and pain. 'Calvin.'

This admission was so close to her own circumstances that it elicited a shiver of fear mixed with anger and…love? It had been a moot point over the last three days what Ginny was actually feeling towards Draco. At first there had been the sadness of parting with someone she had become fond of. That though had only lasted the train journey and interrogation. Once she had escaped her family the anger had kicked in. It sliced into her thoughts every moment, making her incapable of considering anything else.

In this daze of anger she had wandered around the house, her foot often connecting with pieces of furniture. Eventually she had reached the kitchen. This had been her first mistake. Her second mistake had been attempting to cut up salad with a bread knife. The metal had bitten her skin in raw delight - a scream of annoyance had followed. Something strange had swept over her though. For the first time since she'd left Draco, she was feeling something. Not something more or less then before, for she realised she had felt nothing since he had left her sight. There had just been an air of loss.

Suddenly everything seemed to come together. He had gone. She would never see him again. This in itself seemed surreal.

Covering her cut with her mouth, she had made her way to a seat and collapsed there. Her eyes kept cutting back to the door, then the window, then back to the door. All this time it were as if she was waiting for him to prove her brain wrong - of course that wasn't going to be the last time she'd see him!

Night had come and still she sat motionless in her seat. Tiredness swept in and relieved her of her waiting - this though did not last long enough for her liking. Soon she was awake and with this was another kind of awakening. Draco Malfoy was gone. He wasn't going to come back to her. Why did she even think he would? Why did she even wish he was there with his arms round her? Tears began to seep from the corners of her eyes. Yet she refused to sob for him. He didn't deserve her misery and she would never accept his pity.

So she'd resolved to pull herself together. It wasn't like she had lost anything at all. All that had happened was a week of escapism, just like on the TV. Nothing more, nothing less. Ginny had dressed and tried to convince herself she felt better. A forced smile appeared on her tense face as she stared into the mirror.

The third day came though and again things changed. The previous day, having dressed and convinced herself she was happy, she had realised she had nothing to do with herself. If she went to work she would have to talk to Ron and Hermione about what'd happened, or worse. They might ask her to continue her work searching for him. Her parents offered little comfort too. Maybe they wouldn't understand why she had made the decisions that had been made. In truth she was ashamed to face them even though she hadn't done anything wrong. There had only been Harry left, but he was nowhere to be found.

Therefore the third day was empty. There was nowhere she wanted to be and no one she wanted to see. Well, she amended, all except Draco and his little hideout in the Yorkshire Moore's. Nothing lived up to the way they made her feel - except maybe love. Was it that she was in love? Or was she in love with the idea of being in love so completely, that she'd latch onto anyone?

This lingering on her mind, she made her way to the television to escape her own fears. The only problem with this was that everywhere she looked there was a love story unfolding. One moment they would be at each others throats, the next they'd be madly in love. Hot, fiery kisses would be shared to rival the world's modesty. She yearned for those moments.

Ginny Weasley was in love with Draco Malfoy, the man she still liked to think she hated the most in the universe.

There had only been one thing left to do. Cry like a baby until there was nothing left, then she would cry some more. Why had she been so stupid as to leave him? It was stupid the way he'd been so uncharacteristically noble. He was incredibly stupid for having come to her in the first place. In fact everything was just plain stupid right now.

'If he was here now,' she whispered to Honey secretively, 'I'd throttle him with my bare hands. Then when he was lying on the floor begging for forgiveness, I'd kick him in the head. I'd call him stupid. He'd call me a little runt. Then we'd go upstairs and have rampant sex. We'd both deny it'd happened when we'd finished, and he'd go off in a huff saying I was a good shag, but its never going to happen again. I'd be hurt and angry. Eventually he'd realise what a huge mistake he'd made and come to win me back. Obviously it wouldn't be that easy because I'd be dating Harry again in an attempt to get over him. Soon though I'd give in and we'd have some more rampant sex - this time he wouldn't leave. Ever. Never.'

Honey said nothing as cats usually do.

'Not he's going to turn up right now…' her eyes flickered to the door. 'Typical man, hey Honey, never here when you need them.'

Again Honey abstained from remarking on the situation.

'You think Mummy's silly don't you?'

Honey rolled onto her side, requesting a tummy rub.

'Well maybe you're right. We can't help the way we feel though, can we? I mean…It's not my fault I fell for a cold hearted…aardvark.'

Ginny sighed and rubbed Honey's tummy as she turned her attention back to the TV screen. Cathleen was presently kissing Calvin like her life depended on it. Well at least her acting career, anyway.

'They're going to fall off that cliff if they're not careful…'

Suddenly a huge gust of air knocked into Calvin, who lost his footing and began to fall. Cathleen gripped to his hand, telling him everything would be alright. His hand slipped from hers though as she spoke, and she made a desperate attempt to cling to his sleeve. Tears streamed down her face as she screamed that he couldn't die while she still loved him. The material ripped. Calvin fell in slow motion mouthing "I love you Cathy!" as he plummeted to his uncertain death.

This was too much for Ginny - she burst into uncontrollable sobs.

***

'Ginny…? Ginny, where are you?'

'I'm in the sitting room!'

Sitting up, Ginny wiped her eyes furiously with the sleeve of her dressing gown. It would be of no help if Hermione found her looking completely pathetic. She might even get the wrong impression and start telling her how its okay to admit to being sexually abused. This though hadn't happened, even though she knew it was probably incredibly possible with his track record. No, what was wrong was the emotional abuse he had caused her.

She ran a hand through her hair in a feeble attempt to look respectable and straightened out her attire, as Hermione walked into the room. Her presences made the small sitting room feel small somehow, which was some strange comfort to Ginny because it meant she was strong. What she needed was for someone to be strong and take her life into their own hands.

'What are you doing holed up in here, sat in the dark? You wouldn't believe how many curses I had to break to get into this house,' there was a tone of irritation in her voice, but nothing too bad. 'Anyone would think you didn't want visitors.'

'I wonder how they'd get that impression.'

'Still, I think it's a little cruel to put a warts curse on the front door. Those poor people wouldn't know what'd hit them if they came to see if you were alright. Your postman must be suffering quite badly,' Hermione said with an air of amusement to lighten the mood.

'What is it you came round for?' Ginny snapped, tired of her voice.

'I wanted to see if you were okay. Your family has been really quite worried. They want to know why you won't answer their owls.'

'I put owl repellent on the roof and window sills.'

'Oh.'

Silence stretched out for a couple of minutes before Ginny looked up at her older friend. She looked tired - there were dark circles under her eyes, which in turn had lost their usual sparkle. Her clothes seemed crumpled beyond a days wearing. It was almost as if she had been going for weeks without stopping for a second. 'You look tired.'

'I am tired. First of all I had to question you. Then I've had to file the report, giving my opinion on whether you have been magically changed in any way. Which, by the way, I decided you hadn't. After that the Ministry called me in to discuss whether or not you were a reliable employee. Well that was a pain because I'm quite sure they were implying you were mentally unstable. Then there was the whole matter of making sure Ron didn't go off and do something stupid. On top of that I've had no help from Harry, who seems to be off somewhere! When I inquired at the Ministry they got all touchy and told me to take myself somewhere else! How strange is that?'

Ginny stared at her wide eyed. 'All of that has happened in three days?'

'And more. I have things to tell you.'

'Things?'

'Yes. It's very important that you listen to what I say and don't tell anyone else,' Hermione seated herself on a chair across from Ginny and leaned back. 'There are some things even I am not proud to admit, but it must be done. While working as an Auror at the Ministry I have also been working as part of the Order.'

'Of the Phoenix?' she said in disbelief.

'Yes. The same one.'

'Didn't that come to an end though when Voldemort was wiped out?'

'Only from the public eye. You see there were some things that people weren't allowed to know. Such things like missing wizards - one's who had gone out on missions and never returned. The Ministry said they had died for their beliefs. This is partly true. See some of these disappearances couldn't be accounted for. People thought to be good, honest wizards just disappearing.

'There are secrets you see. Deep, dark, terrifying secrets. Ones that the Ministry would kill to keep that way. So kill they did. Anyone who got in their way would suffer the price of knowledge. The Order is still unaware of the secret but we believe that it involves an alliance of our government with Voldemort in an attempt to save their lives. That's why it is in our interest to protect the wizards that know some secrets.' Hermione pursed her lips and eyed Ginny wearily. 'Such wizards as Draco Malfoy.'

'What?!'

'You probably know that he trained as an Auror with the Ministry and that he was sent out as a double agent. That was not though their main plan. What they wanted to do was infiltrate the remaining Death Eaters to see if there was a chance of an alliance. Draco would negotiate with money and power - he would make things possible for the Ministry through the Death Eaters hands.'

'I don't understand…'

'You remember the money being stolen from the wizarding bank? Well that was the Ministry. The goblins refused to give them money to support a scheme to rebuild a secret department within the Ministry. Therefore the Death Eaters said they would comply if the Ministry allowed a prisoner free from Azkaban. They agreed and Mulch was allowed to run his reign of terror again.'

'That's…but can't you tell someone?'

'Who? The Ministry?'

Ginny frowned uncertainly. 'Draco told me he was a double agent.'

'What the Ministry didn't know was that Draco was in actual fact a triple agent.'

'He worked for the Order as well?'

'Yes. He was an opportunity that couldn't be missed out by any side. The problem with this was not knowing which side he personally belonged too.' Hermione sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 'For the Ministry he took information and requests back and forth. For us he pretended to be one of them and mingled. He found for us locations and was vital to our plan for exterminating the threat permanently. What he did for the Death Eaters was to report on the state of the Ministry according to what we and they told him. It was a confusing web with him in the middle.'

'So he did go to the Parkinson's?'

Another silence echoed through the room. 'I don't condone him killing that girl, but I realise that if he didn't she would have suffered for longer. It was that act which brought him to the edge. The Ministry were disgraced by him and the Death Eater's were suspicious. No longer was he going to be able to negotiate with either parties. So the Ministry disposed of him.'

'So he was no use to any of the groups?'

'The Death Eaters wanted him dead. They didn't want him passing on secrets. Neither did the Ministry. So they teamed up to silence him permanently. What they didn't expect though was for us to remove him from the situation,' her voice was full of tension and emotion. 'If it weren't for that false death certificate he and his knowledge would be dead.'

'The Order saved him because he was important to revealing the conspiracy? That makes sense,' Ginny mused aloud. 'But that doesn't explain where I come into this. In fact it doesn't explain why you're telling me all of this now.'

'He needed help and I knew you wouldn't turn him down. I couldn't do it myself because the link would be too obvious. Malfoy couldn't attend Order meetings because of the danger so I needed a way to get my information to him. Lets just say your brother wouldn't have been helpful,' she said slowly and carefully. 'You also added something to the mix that I couldn't. You gained his trust because you knew nothing about this whole charade.'

'I was used?!' her anger was evident as her pitch rose. 'You and Draco used me to barter information!?'

'Calm down Ginny, there is more,' Hermione said firmly. She was not going to be diverted from her speech. 'Malfoy has made a stupid mistake.'

'Doesn't sound unusual,' Ginny muttered grumpily under her breath.

'He believes that there is no point in hiding anymore. Somehow he has got it into his mind that it will be all be over if he faces his demons. There is also the influence of you in this situation. In some ways I think it incredibly sweet. In others though…I could curse him from here to Timbuktu!' Her face was flushed pink with energy. 'The stupid git has only gone and handed himself in so he can protect you!'

Her lips parted slightly. 'Sorry? What did you say?'

'I feel he may be being chivalrous,' she said with the tiniest of smiles. 'It's very romantic, but also very foolish.'

'I'm still not catching your drift.'

'Well at sometime Malfoy must have contacted one of the secret operatives at the Ministry. We don't know when or how yet. Anyway he gave away his location and was brought in by whoever this person may be. We don't know where he is or whether he is still alive. All that's certain is that he has been taken and now our entire organisation is at risk from being exposed.'

'Draco would never do that!' she defended instinctively. 'I know he wouldn't…'

'He may have no choice.'

'How do you know all of this anyway…?' Ginny asked with a frown.

'We received an Owl last week after the attack on your house. He stated that in the near future he would be returning you and handing himself in. It went on to describe how he was making up for past sins by giving you the chance of a carefree life. He said that this was never to be relayed to you as his final request…' her eyes looked at Ginny. 'I'm sorry.'

'He knew all that time that he was going to do this and yet he never…' Ginny felt the lump growing again. 'He never even let on to it. Only at the last minute…Why didn't you stop him? If you had stopped him then he'd still be here…Here with me!'

'His location kept shifting. It seems he had somehow affected his impulses so it looked like he was hopping from one country to another. That goes for yours too. When we did find him, it was too late. He was at the station.'

'No…' tears began to stream down her face. 'I don't believe you…You're just trying to get rid of him like all the others!'

'I'm sorry Ginny.'

'To think I trusted him! I even gave Harry that letter…' she trailed off, her throat suddenly dry. Her stomach flipped.

'What letter?'