Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author's Note: Here's another chapter, and this time in quick succession of the last. I found this one quite easy to write as I have managed to work out the ending. Whether or not it will be happy though is another question! Christmas is coming soon, so if I don't update until then, make sure you all have a good one. After that I have a couple of exams, so please bear with my slowness. Enjoy!

Acknowledgements: Everyone who reviewed, thank you. This one's for all of you!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the words.

Coeur Corrompu

Chapter Twenty One

Life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I've said too much
I set it up

Consider this, consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much

Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

Follow the paper trail, they would say, you'll soon find what you're looking for. Well it was a load of rubbish in Ginny's eyes. The paper trail was long, boring and tedious. It was filled with signatures and long words that didn't make any sense. People expected it to be easy for you to simply flick through it, not expecting you to have to go through it about five times. Over all, the paper trail theory was pointless.

Difficult did not even begin to describe her day so far. In fact she couldn't even think of a word that could sum it up so completely. Somehow that had to be a good thing - to mean that her life didn't come down to just one word that decided her. Yet she wished she could describe it, so she could show to others exactly how she felt without resorting to curses.

It had been a week since Draco had been returned to the safety of the Order. One week in which not a lot had happened or changed between them. They still fought, with each one claiming to hate the other and never talked about what had happened. He had even had the nerve to throw a bowl of porridge at her, claiming it tasted like a dragon excretion, just with more sugar. It was safe to say that he had regretted that - the loss of a tongue often had that affect on people.

Becoming his nurse had seemed the right thing to do at the time. His body had been bruised and battered, abused by a fist and needles. It had almost made her physically sick to see what had happened to him. He had smelt of urine and muck, looked caved in and was bleeding from various cuts. So she had cleaned him up, partially healing him in the worst places. Still though he had not awoken, or spoke and that had been good. She had been able to make up conversations and talk to his sleeping form without any backlash. When he had risen from his state though, she realised that nursing for him was not such a good idea.

After the porridge incident, she had hung up her apron strings and decided to return to work. At least that way she could bury her head in a pile of paper and forget everything. The last thing she wanted to do was think about her feelings towards Draco. There was a sense of doom overcoming her whenever he was near. It seeped through her clothes, making her shiver in the sweltering heat. Soon he would be gone and again she would never see him again. All she had to wait for was his full recovery.

Dumbledore had decided that the safest place for him would be at The Burrow. According to him the Ministry would not search so close to home and that Tonks had made sure of that. Her disguise as a Death Eater had caught the Ministry's attention. Remus had come in one afternoon, while Draco was still unconscious, and told them all that there was tension building between the two powers. Neither one trusted the other, apparently. He had been pleased with the result, as had Dumbledore, but was concerned for the safety of Ginny. The Ministry still didn't know who the mole was, and she was under the spotlight.

Work had helped her growing stress though. For the past three days she'd been working quite happily, sifting through papers on criminals and practising her self defence charms. It had kept her sane from day to day, just allowing her to be consumed by action. Never once did she go to see Draco though - it would spoil everything. She would be forced into accepting what had actually happened. Generally denial seemed a whole lot better.

Today though had been different to those other days. It had started when she'd woken up. She was still living in the Burrow, having left Ivy Cottage to be closer to Draco. The time just hadn't been available for her to move back in and to ensure no confrontations she had been waking up early, coming home late and keeping to her room whenever she was there. A couple of times Molly had asked her to go up to him, apparently he was suffering from depression. Draco was refusing to eat until he saw her. Ginny had replied that he would eat eventually because his ego was too big for him not to. Her mother had seemed a little disappointed in her response, but said nothing.

Having woken up at seven, she had dressed quickly into her work robes. They were plain black and sat neatly over the top of her black t-shirt and long grey skirt. Sitting in front of her mirror, she had arranged her hair into a ponytail and placed her witch's hat on top. She had never dressed in the actual uniform before her little adventure, but now she was being watched by the Ministry and it seemed appropriate. The hat was tall and pointy, seeming eccentric for her job, but she wore it anyway.

Straightening herself out, she had picked up her bag and walked to the door. Opening it though, had been a big mistake. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the opposite wall, was Draco. His legs were folded in the middle, with his knees tucked under her chin. His head rested on them, with his arms wrapped round, and his hair was covering his face. It looked as if he had been there for some time, just sitting and waiting. Something snapped inside of her - why was she being so mean to him anyway? It wasn't his fault that all of this had happened. Not even that he had to leave her had seemed his fault at that moment.

'Why are you ignoring me?' he had asked quietly, moving his head and looking up at her.

'I've been busy,' she had said folding her arms across her chest. 'You shouldn't be out of bed in your condition. Mum will kill you if she finds you out here.'

'I thought that would be what you wanted.'

'You are so self-centred,' she sneered slightly. 'I do have other things to do then tend your every whim. Just because I don't come to see you for a couple of days…'

'Three days,' he cut in with a voice of authority. 'You haven't come to see me for three days. Not just a couple. I've been waiting to see you for three days. We have to talk and that's a little difficult if you insist on refusing to see me.'

'Go back to bed,' she had said softly.

'Not until you've told me why you're ignoring me,' Draco had continued to insist.

'Maybe it's because I have nothing to say to you anymore,' she had turned away to close her bedroom door. Turning back though she had found him on his feet, stood in front of her in an intimidating manner.

'Ginny,' he had whispered in warning. 'I don't like to play games.'

'You know why I haven't been to see you, so stop pestering me. Some of us have work to do, and some of us have to get back to bed. If you want someone to moan at, then I'm sure Mum would be able to help you out. I don't have time for…for…your games!' Ginny had said irritably, wanting to get away from him so she didn't have to think so hard.

'Oh, so I'm the one playing games?' That old familiar sinister laugh had escaped his lips. 'I'm not the one being childish, just because she knows that she can't have what she wants in the end. Well, I'm sorry for not being as perfect as Potter.'

In that moment she had slapped him hard across the cheek. This was not playing games anymore. This was saying goodbye and he couldn't understand why she was doing it this way. He seemed to want to inflict this pain upon her. Surely he knew exactly how she felt about him, and why ignoring him would be easier than facing the truth. Tears began to well in her eyes.

His hand was pressed against his cheek, his eyes flashing with menace. A lump had formed in her throat. Maybe that hadn't been such a good idea, but he had pushed all the right buttons. Draco had practically begged for that slap.

'Shut up,' she had whispered. 'Go back to bed.'

With that he had turned his back on her, limped up the corridor and disappeared into his room, slamming the door behind him. He hadn't even lashed out of her, which was the worst bit. Draco had simply walked away without fighting with her. It was as if she had killed something and this was how he made her suffer.

Ginny had swiped away the tears with the edge of her robe and swallowed her pride. Cautiously, she had walked over to his room, knocked on his door and entered. He was in bed, his back turned towards her.

'Why do you want to talk to me?' she had asked softly.

'Shove off Weasley,' he had said in a tight little voice. The anger there was evident, and it had scared a little to think she had done this to him. 'I don't want to talk to you.'

'You did a minute ago…'

'That was then. Now get lost. I'm sure you have some really important work to be done. I wouldn't want to make you late.'

So Ginny had left, unsure of what to say to him - unsure of the way she felt about this parting.

Eventually she had made it to the office though. It had been empty and silent. There was an hour to go before opening, so Ginny expected that that was the reason for this deadness. Walking over to her desk in the entrance area, she had sat down with a sigh. Lying back in her chair, she had thought about what had happened this morning. How come so much had changed in such a short period of time? Oh well, she thought inwardly, he would be gone soon so it didn't matter.

Hermione had come in half an hour later, her hair tied back in a bun, her jeans sticking out at the bottom of her robe and her eyes looking distinctly tired. That was another thing that had changed - her friends. Hermione was the worst though because she wasn't sleeping. The knowledge that her best friend was against her, had made her fractious. Like Ginny she had buried herself in her work, making it seem that the search for Malfoy hadn't ended. The Ministry hadn't needed to talk to her again, but she was under pressure to sack Ginny from the company. She hadn't mentioned it, but Ginny knew. She could feel it bubbling under the surface.

'Morning Gin,' Hermione had said in a bright tone. 'I see the hat is becoming obligatory.'

'I don't want to make any mistakes,' Ginny had followed in the same fake brightness. 'It doesn't harm to make a special effort. Anyway, I find it quite fetching. It adds a touch of class to the proceedings.'

Hermione had chuckled gently. They were both aware that they were constantly being watched. The office was probably bugged with magic and the customers were probably fakes. The Ministry wanted them to fail - they wanted someone to blame the whole problem on.

'I talked to Harry last night.'

'Oh,' Ginny had whispered, too scared to say anything else.

'He's worried about you. Thinks you need a holiday. Doesn't think you should be working here this soon after your ordeal. He thinks I should talk you into visiting him in China…'

'Oh.'

'I told him you were fine and that you seemed on top form. I also mentioned that you were taking extra precautions since the escape of Malfoy into the Death Eaters.' It had been said with a meaning that couldn't be detected by others, but Ginny knew it was there. Hermione was making sure that Harry knew she had nothing to do with what had happened. She was trying to make her safe.

'That was good of you. I haven't been in the mood for talking recently,' Ginny had said with a reassuring smile.

'Yes, I seem to have heard that quite a lot recently.'

Draco, Ginny had thought. He must have spoken to Hermione about the way she was ignoring him. Somehow she doubted that he was worried about her mental state, but how he was going to get all the attention he usually gave him. 'Some people deserve what they get, 'Mione. It just makes it easier in the long run.'

The day had progressed and now Ginny sat behind a pile of paperwork. It was driving her crazy because she couldn't put her mind to it. Her thoughts kept flicking back to the one case she really did want to be working on. The one where she could prove that Harry was the one who had killed that man and not Draco as everyone thought. It wouldn't help though. They would all still want him for some reason, be it dead or alive. He was a danger to them that would have to be quelled. In the long run it would be better for him to just disappear.

Then there was the whole matter of Harry. How was she supposed to act around him now? It seemed impossible to hold a conversation with him when she knew deep down that she hated him. He may have had his reasons and commands, but she didn't want to accept them. It was easier to blame him for her pain. Blame him for inflicting all of this upon Draco.

As if reading her thoughts, there was a knock on the large oak door. Fixing her face into a welcoming look, she cried out for entrance. What she hadn't expected though was for Harry to walk in bold as brass. It was shocking because it was the last thing she expected for him to do. She would have thought he would have hid away, scared of being found out. He didn't have to worry though, did he? Harry Potter was on the good side, and most important of all, he didn't think she knew.

'Hey Gin,' Harry said with a shy smile. 'How are you?'

'Harry!' she said still reeling from his presence. 'What are you doing here?!'

'I came to see how you were,' he laughed.

'I'm…erm…fine.'

'You sure? You're looking really pale Gin,' Harry continued, stepping forward and shoving his hands in his pockets. 'Like you've just seen a ghost, or something.'

'I haven't been sleeping very well,' he body was rigid in the chair.

'I thought so. It must have been hard to come back to everyday life after your experiences. Maybe you should have had a bit more time off.'

'You wouldn't believe how hard,' she said brightly, with a broad smile. This felt so wrong, talking with him as if nothing had happened to change their relationship. 'Well if that's all, I should be getting back to work.'

'Come on Gin! I thought we were over this already,' he said in a frustrated tone. 'I'm sorry that I did what I did. Can't you forgive me?'

'What?!' Ginny asked in disbelief, unsure of what she'd heard. Since when had he known that she knew what had occurred between him and Draco?

'I made a mistake when I told you I thought we should separate. I hurt you, and it's killing me to think I can't have you back. Please just think about it. We could have a whole new life in China together. You could leave all this behind and never have to work again. You wouldn't have to be constantly reminded of the kidnapping. We could be happy together.' Harry's voice was smooth and calm, with a hint of pleading. He wasn't referring to Draco's torture, but to their break up. He genuinely wanted to get back together with her.

Ginny's mind whirled. Could she just drop everything and move to China with Harry? It would be an opportunity to leave behind the memories of Draco - start a new life. Who said she couldn't forget what Harry did and be happy with him? Anyway she wouldn't have to stay with him defiantly. She could just stay with him for a little while, and then leave again. Freedom would be hers.

What was stopping her? She had lost Draco, her faith in the system and trust in her own thoughts. It was like losing her religion in a flash - having everything you had taken away from you and being unable to find something to comfort her with. It was like losing a favourite toy.

'Okay,' she whispered.

Harry smiled brightly. 'You'll come away with me? Try again?'

'Yes Harry, I will.'