Unofficial Portkey Archive

Johnson Normal Johnson 1 2 2003-08-06T12:12:00Z 2003-08-06T12:14:00Z 1 2185 12459 - 103 29 14615 10.2625 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4

Coeur Corrompu

Chapter Eight

You come over unannounced
Dressed up like you're somethin' else
Where you are and where it's at you see
You're making me
Laugh out when you strike your pose
Take off all your preppy clothes
You know you're not fooling anyone
When you've become

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And You fall and you crawl and you break
And you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
Promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no, no, no

Avril Lavigne - Complicated

Swirls of cream and brown liquid merged together as Ginny danced her spoon round the dainty cup slowly, her eyes fixated to the silver. It had always been a colour she had never really considered. At school it had always been partnered with green, a colour that could put fear into anyone's heart. A smile would always light up her face when she heard what Muggles thought green represented. It was supposed to be a neutral colour! She scoffed that assumption. To her it meant Slytherin', and that meant one boy. The problem was he wasn't a boy anymore. He was a fully grown man, and oh what a man. She couldn't rid her thoughts of him at all; sometimes this led her to conclude some sort of charm had been woven into her dreams. Deep down though she knew it was much more.

Again her thoughts went back to silver. All in all it was a beautiful colour, even she couldn't deny that. She wondered why it would ever have been partnered with green. Maybe silver was the pure side of a Slytherin'. Gold and silver would have been a better pairing in her view. She stopped her thoughts again as they began to circle back round to him. It was a vicious circle. Everything could bring her back to thoughts of Draco Malfoy and every time she shivered at the familiarity of her feelings. It hadn't been that long ago that seeing things like windswept flowers would make her call Harry just to hear his voice. Sadly, she smiled to herself. At the time she had felt happy, but now she realised it had been nothing but rose tainted glasses that had been clouding her judgement. It had been a relationship where she would do all the work. She would organise the dates and parties, she would encourage him to kiss her. Reflecting now she noticed that it was almost always her that kissed him first. She felt like a fool.

When Harry had met with her on that hot summer day to repair the fence, she had known something magical would happen. At the time she had only been 19 and the world had been such a scary place to live. The previous owners of her little house had been negligent and not fixed a loose panel in the rickety fence. Everything about the house had been rickety though, and that's what had attracted her to it. Like her it was quirky, and if it's even possible, she felt a connection with it. Harry, ever the martyr, had offered to go help her put it back up the Muggle way. Ginny had insisted that everything out in the open would be done properly and no magic would be used. The sun had been at its peak as they had stood out in the garden, the smell of the summer flowers seemed intoxicating. She had wiped some sweat of her brow and glanced over to Harry who seemed to be intently watching her. Her eyebrows must have betrayed her questioning thoughts, because he had stepped close to her and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. His sweet husky tones had mixed with the scent of him to entice Ginny to kiss him. From there it had gone downhill slowly.

Dropping the spoon she brought her hands up to her mouth and blew on them. The cold of the morning nipped at her skin. Long gone was that summer day, now all that was left was the harsh reality of winter. It seemed to strip away all the whites and blacks, leaving only grey. It was dull and mildly depressing mixed with her situation. Only yesterday she had brightened up and had gone to meet Narcissa Malfoy. That had certainly sapped all the light from her eyes. She was almost sure that the woman hadn't meant to bring this mood on Ginny, but she wasn't entirely sure. Maybe it had been the house that had done it. It had been massive and overpowering. In it's majesty it terrified Ginny.

Solitary and alone, she had approached it and knocked meekly at the door. Even the door seemed scary, she remembered wondering if the toilets would be worse. Smothering those thoughts she had eventually ended up in the company of the woman herself. Somehow Ginny had imagined her to be taller and more demanding. In reality though she seemed small, not even half the woman she used to be. From there on it had been systematic and Ginny understood why. Narcissa was trying to protect her son. It hadn't helped Ginny any though, all she had found out was the details of Draco's supposed death. Narcissa had made sure she went into a lot of detail for that one. Ginny found herself almost convinced that he was dead, except she knew he wasn't. There had really only one point that really interested her.

As she had been leaving, Narcissa had stood and her voice had cut through the silence of the room. 'Knowledge is power, Miss Weasley. To have the knowledge is to have power over someone. At least we all can earn that. I hope you find whatever you're looking for, because maybe then you'll have the power.'

It had felt strange to Ginny hearing those words. They had been the only ones that weren't automated, and sounded like they had a hidden meaning. What though she couldn't work out, but it made her feel incredibly stupid. Reclining further into her chair she thought about it more. The past couple of days had revealed little about Draco or his situation. Still she hadn't worked out exactly what the Ministry wanted with him, though she had her suspicions.

So now she was at a loose end. She'd visited all the people on her list and come up with nothing. The office was closed for the day due to Ron recovering from being belted a couple of times by an enchanted piano. The Weasley clan weren't having a get together, and Ginny had nothing else to do. All she could do was relax and that alone was difficult. She was too tense to sit down for long yet too tired to stand either. Most of all though, she found herself longing for someone to talk to, but that would mean her having to spill her heart out. Her heart was a tortured place at the moment. She was pulled between the hope of Harry and the lust that represented Draco. As those thoughts went through her mind she heard the doorbell ring and instantly jumped up.

The first thing that ran through her mind was about how she looked. Glancing down, her brow creased into a worried frown and she bit her bottom lip. Maybe Snoopy pyjamas weren't the most ideal things to open the door in. Quickly dashing to the kitchen she frantically went over to the radiator and grabbed the slightly damp jumper that was slung over it. Pulling that on over her top, she grabbed a skirt that was too long for her and pulled that on to. Looking down at herself she considered that she might look worse then she had. The skirt was grey and silky, which caused it to cling to her pyjama bottoms underneath. This gave a creased effect. She sighed, but the decision was made for her when the doorbell rang again. Muttering a charm, her hair was tamed, and soon she was unlocking the catch on her door, a composed smile on her face.

That slowly faded though as she was confronted by a very annoyed looking Harry. He barged past her, knocking her slightly. 'Hey!' she called, 'Hey! I never said you could come in!'

'Lay off Gin,' Harry muttered, 'I need to talk to you and I think you've been avoiding me.'

Ginny looked down at the floor. It was true of course, she had been avoiding him. She had been to everywhere and anywhere to escape him. Unfortunately though she knew it would never last. Harry had an annoying habit of being persistent and this conversation was inevitable. Taking a deep breath she looked up with a resigned look. 'What do you want Harry? Be quick, I have a lot of work to do.'

'Don't lie to me Gin,' he said in a vicious whisper, 'I know the office is closed and the Malfoy case is going nowhere. Hermione told me before I came over here.'

'That was always the problem with you Harry! You always, always, assume I have nothing better to do then work and family. I do have other friends you know,' she said exasperatedly.

'Look, I'm not here to fight. I just want to talk, that's all.'

'That's all you ever want to do,' she muttered bitterly, while closing the door. Once closed, she turned to find Harry had walked into the sitting room. 'Make yourself at home why don't you!'

Crossing her arms over her chest she followed suit. Harry was pacing the floor of the small room, his presence alone making it seem smaller. This was another of his annoying habits. He made Ginny feel insignificant whenever they were out together. At the time she had ignored that nagging feeling. She had thought herself to be his equal in every way, but she would never be as loved and adored as Harry. She would never have everyone knowing her name or even knowing of her existence.

'Look Gin…' He began, then paused and took his glasses off. Ginny assumed it was nerves instead of the fact she was so ugly he didn't want to see her. Overall it was more comforting a thought. 'I can't put off leaving anymore, and I spent all night thinking…thinking about you and how much I love you.'

Letting out a sigh, she laughed to herself and plopped down onto the couch. It was ironic that just as she was beginning to get over Harry, he was finally doing the one thing she had wanted. Now he was staring at her like she had gone slightly mad, and Ginny forced herself to look serious for his sake. 'You love me…?' she said finally.

'Yes, I love you and that's why I have to ask you...ask…' Harry trailed off again.

'Ask me what?!' Ginny whispered, her heart pounding in her chest faster.

'Well…I wanted to know if you would like to maybe, if you like, you know…come to China with me,' he said as quickly as he could. 'I mean…only if you want to. I'm not going to put any pressure on you for an answer.'

Silence reigned in the room. This was partly because Harry had finished his speech and partly because Ginny was too shocked to form words. She had expected a bigger question and because of that was more surprised then if Harry had proposed. It all seemed so sudden to her. One week he's splitting up with her, the next he wants her to leave all her roots behind and set up home in a completely different country. She couldn't even speak Chinese! Raising a hand to her head she could feel a headache coming on. Something she had always thought was that there were too many things in her head and right now it seemed more so then ever.

'I understand you need time to think about it,' Harry said as he sat down next to her, moving her chin so she was looking at him. 'So I'll come back and see what your answer is.'

Leaning down slightly he caught her lips in a gentle kiss. It was slow and quick all at the same time, and Ginny wasn't too sure why it was happening. She was pretty sure she didn't want Harry to be kissing her anymore, but part of her couldn't resist. That part never would be able to. He had been the boy of her dreams, the man of her moment and the apple of her eye. Maybe he always would be, but she wanted to find something else, something less predictable. Pushing him away slowly, the moment was gone and so was Harry.

Staring at the empty space where he had, only seconds ago, been sat, Ginny sighed deeply. Why was everything slowly becoming more complicated? Why wasn't it a simple case of boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and live happily ever after? There always had to be complications and she knew exactly what they were. When kissing Harry she had been thinking about Draco. As she had thought earlier, it was a vicious circle. The only way to break it would to be to face her fears, but what were they exactly?

Leaning back she slung her feet up onto the couch. Well, there was her love life which involved one man. Harry Potter. Then there was her sudden obsession that she wished was her love life. Draco Malfoy. One was great and adored by millions. One was hated and apparently so disliked he had to fake his own death. It was a tough one, she thought. Harry had become predictable and frankly dull. Draco was exciting and made her tingle whenever he was near. Her fear was that Draco would become dead to her again or Harry would make her life more meaningless then she already considered. Standing up she came to a decision. She needed to find out if she felt the way she thought she felt.

'Malfoy you knifing piece of scum! I know you can hear me! Get your arse here, NOW!' She said loudly and as calmly as she could. It was only a hunch, but she assumed Draco had planted bugs round the house. One of the first rules of being an Auror was to always make sure you know what's happening, and he was supposedly the best Auror the Ministry had had.

'Not so stupid as I thought then Weasley,' came the soft unnerving drawl from the other side of the room. 'Well done.'

'Yeah well,' she turned to face him, 'I do work with the best Auror's around.'

Draco grinned slightly and there was a distinct twinkle in his eye. 'Definitely not stupid. I wonder how you found out that little tit-bit of information…'

'That doesn't matter right now, does it?' Ginny said coolly.

'No, little weasel, I guess it doesn't. Now what do you want, I may be dead but the party keeps on going.' Draco said in almost whisper. His eyes seemed to be gazing at her with an air of curiosity and it made her shiver. It didn't make what she was about to do any easier that he was terrifying. She was almost paralysed with fear at his mere glance. 'Come now, you got me here, now what do you want?'

'That's a very good question,' Ginny muttered to herself looking down at her feet.

'Well if you don't know, how in hells name am I supposed to?' Draco said snidely, as he shook his head. 'I'll be going then…'

He was cut off by Ginny grabbing his face with her warm hands and tugging him down into a timid kiss. She hadn't had the guts to do it when he was watching her, but when he glanced away for a brief second she had run on impulse. The only way to determine whether this was what she wanted. Whether he was what she wanted. And at that point in time it didn't really matter.