Disclaimer: All persons in this story belong to JK Rowling and Warner Brothers. No money is being made off of this story, and none is wanted.
Author's Note: I want to explain something. The title of this fic is song title, and every chapter title is also a song title. One of my reviewers recognised what Harry said there is from a song. ("I love you always and forever...") A little more of an explanation is that 'Too Much Love Can Kill You' is by Queen, 'In These Arms' by Bon Jovi, 'Ironic' by Alanis Morisette, and 'Don't Be Cruel' is by Elvis Presley. I hope you understand how my fic works.
IN THESE ARMS In These Arms You want a commitment
Take a look into these eyes
They burn with a fire, just for you now
Until the end of time
I would do anything
I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die
To have you in these arms tonight
Baby, I want you like the roses
Want the rain
You know I need you
Like a poet needs the pain
I would give anything
My blood, my love, my life
by Bon Jovi
Harry rubbed his eyes. His glasses were broken on the floor of the common room. He didn't need them now. It had been the worst weeks in his life. Never had he thought it could be so bad. But now, he knew it could. He knew he lost. In his mind, he could hear Ron screaming angrily. Harry wondered how Ron could scream like that at Hermione. Even Harry couldn't speak or react to Cho's dead body on the floor. He could see how he'd lost Hermione, too. Her eyes were dulled as she dared to look into his. Voldemort had escaped, and Cho had been killed. Harry knew that it was because Hermione had failed, but his mind could hardly comprehend it. Now he was sitting there, and he didn't know what he should do. His mind, his very heart, was screaming that he couldn't take to lose her too.
In his mind, he could hear the fight earlier, between him and Ron.
Harry looked around. It had been nearly six weeks since Cho died, and Hermione wasn't there. He hadn't the strength to talk to her. All that he knew before Cho died was now wrong, or it felt wrong for him. His head was spinning in circles. His soul -- it hurt badly. Nothing was how it should be.
"Ron?" he said. It was the first time in days that he said something. Ron barely looked up at Harry, waiting. "Where is -- Her... Hermione?" With difficulty, he could say her name.
It wasn't the pain he felt about her guiltiness over Cho's death. It was something else. He couldn't look at Hermione, because she looked so terrible when he saw her in classes. Like she wasn't herself -- like she was someone else, without any fire in her brown eyes. It hurt to see her. But he knew he shouldn't think so. He should be sad about the death of his girlfriend. He was sad, but not as sad as he should be.
"Hopefully not anywhere near here," answered Ron.
They were in the common room of Gryffindor Tower, and Harry kept glancing towards the portrait hole. "Hopefully?" Harry was looking at Ron. "Have you seen her -- how terrible she looks? It's like she's given up. How can you say 'hopefully'? She is, after all, our friend -- isn't she?" His voice rose dramatically
"How can I say that?" snapped Ron. "She killed Cho. You should be even angrier with her than I am -- you shouldn't be worrying about her! If you haven't noticed, Hermione is not my friend anymore and I hope you have the sense to not have her as a friend anymore, either!" Ron's own voice rose, too.
"Damn it, Ron. She's my friend and I don't want to lose her. Hermione is too important to me -- I won't let her down." Harry was nearly screaming, and all the Gryffindors were watching on. Harry's glasses shattered, anger boosting the accidental magic.
"Slowly, I'm asking myself who you love, Harry," snarled Ron. "Was it Cho, or always Hermione?"
By these words, Harry jumped to his feet. But he didn't say a thing. He took one breath before he took his glasses and threw them on the floor. Then he turned and left.
Now Harry was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. His thoughts were about Hermione, and what he truly felt for her. His mind was spinning madly. Ron's words were echoing through his mind. Was it really always Hermione? Did he love her? There wasn't an easy answer to that. True, Hermione was one of his best friends, and he loved her for that, but romantically? Suddenly, every scene with her in his life replayed before his eyes. He could see things that he never truly saw before. He saw her gentle smiles at him, the curve of her lips. He shook his head. It couldn't be -- could it?
He knew only one thing. He had to talk to her immediately. It was time to bring it all to an end. Six weeks was long enough, and he couldn't take more. Though he had looked at her with narrowed eyes, it was always with sadness that she looked so bad, never hate. Slowly, he drew in a deep breath before he stood up and went to the girls' dormitory to see her. The door to the dormitory wasn't closed. Without any sound, he went into the fairly dark room. On her bed, he could see her. She was lying there, and she looked asleep. Lonely. His heart went out to her, hurt by the sight that he saw in front of him.
Her eyelids fluttered open. Again, he saw those beautiful sad eyes. How long ago was it that he had seen those eyes and was lost? It had been in his fifth year as he had looked into those eyes and nearly started to fall for his best friend's girlfriend. He had seen it on her face that she felt the same way for him, but it was impossible. It had been nothing more than hormones. In those days, he needed to look at her without feeling, which wasn't right. Slowly, he saw how Hermione rose from her bed and attempted to leave the room. She looked weak, not like herself, but Harry was falling for her anyway.
Maybe this time was worse than ever. The door was only a few steps away from her as Harry began to speak. "Wait!" It didn't stop her.
With fast steps, he went to her. "Hermione, wait. Don't go."
Everything stopped. Hermione slowly turned around and looked at him. Her eyes never met his. Again, she tried to avoid him. He could see dark shadows under her eyes, even though she was sleeping only a few minutes before. Her face was thinner than it had been weeks before. Only her eyes could make it worse -- they were so dull now.
"You look horrible," he said. "When was the last time you slept, or even ate anything?"
But she only closed her tired eyes for a few seconds. It felt like an eternity to him. For a long time, he watched her face. It was ghostly pale, but still beautiful. Her chest was rising and falling slowly. It was as if he saw her for the very first time again, though he knew every inch of her face and how it could react.
"It's not your problem!" He could barely hear her voice.
How could she say that? Disbelievingly, he shook his head. Though he wasn't wearing his glasses, he could read the expression on her face. He saw her more clearly than ever. "I care about you," he said. "It should be my problem."
"Not anymore!" Her voice broke as she said this. He watched her carefully. This wasn't possible. She couldn't believe that, could she? As he saw her face, closer now, he knew she could and it was as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
"Don't you understand? I don't want to lose you, Hermione."
"No, you didn't lose me. You lost someone much more important to you than I could ever be." To Harry's surprise, she didn't sound angry, only sad and guilty. Hermione was so wrong. She looked down. "Please. Just leave me alone." She bit her lip. "Go... please."
Nothing could make him leave now. It was simply too much to ask for. If she looked at him, she would have spotted the tears shining in his eyes. He took a few steps and stood in front of her. "I didn't love her," he said, saying exactly what he thought at that exact moment.
"You don't know what you're saying," she snapped, starting to move away.
That wasn't the end, not yet. Quickly, he grabbed her arm so she couldn't leave. In her expression, he could see that he hurt her slightly, but did not let go.
"I thought I would, but I didn't," he said. "You know it's true, don't you?" With his hand, he caressed her cheek now. He was so close now. At first, he didn't realise it, but now it was too late. He couldn't back away now.
Carefully, he watched her surprised expression, and then closed the space between them and barely kissed her lips. Hermione backed away, but he couldn't let her. It was so right, feeling his lips against hers.
"Don't." It wasn't time to speak anymore, it was time to feel. Once again, he stopped her with his lips. Carefully, he tasted her lips with his tongue. Her lips parted from his touch. The world around him was spinning away as he caressed her tongue with his. Hermione didn't give in, and he wished she would kiss him back. He pulled her closer against his body as he put his arm around her waist. With his other hand, he held her head much closer to him. It fit -- she fit in his arms perfectly. He wanted her to feel again -- to feel that she was living again.
Barely, he kissed her as his hands begun to stoke her back. If this was the first and the last kiss, then he needed to touch her even more. His mind didn't work right anymore, he realised. Maybe he went too far, maybe he would lose her with this, but the sceptical voice in Harry's head was far too quiet and didn't have enough power against the feeling that was now stronger than anything he'd ever felt before. With his right hand, he touched her side. Suddenly, before Harry could back away, her arms were around his neck and she pulled him back into the kiss. All of time vanished as her tongue touched his.
Very lightly, he kissed her back before he broke the kiss and touched, softly with his lips, her cheek. He knew now that it was right. It was right to give in to his feelings. Softly, he kissed her neck before he touched her soft skin with his tongue. Harry knew Hermione would stop him if he went too far, and continued. He began to unbutton her pyjama top uncertainly. He could feel her smooth skin under his palms. He felt no awkward feelings, thankfully. Softly, he nipped at her earlobe.
"I need you," he murmured into her hear. Hermione's head turned to him, and he could see her brown eyes shining with tears.
" I need you more," she replied. Her voice was so quiet that it was difficult to hear her.
"Shh." This time he kissed her with more care. At this moment, he needed her so much that he couldn't take it if it ended and he didn't come out of this abyss she sunk into. With both arms, he lifted her and carried her to the bed without breaking the kiss. He was on top of her as he lay his hands on her stomach.
It was unbelievable how soft her skin was. Lightly, very lightly, he let his hands travel over her skin. His hands were between her breasts as he kissed and licked her neck down to her collarbone. A shy smile played at his lips as he heard Hermione react to his touches. The remaining buttons were undone quickly and he saw how perfect she was. He observed her closely in amazement, stroking her right breast with one finger. As he leaned down to kiss her nipple lightly, he felt her hands running through his hair. Barely, his tongue darted out and caressed the now rock hard nipple with his tongue.
For a brief moment, he sucked lightly on it. Hermione gasped quietly, which made him even more aroused. He didn't expect her to so eagerly grasp at his t-shirt to try and pull it off. He raised his arms and shifted to help her get it off of her. After this, she took her arms out of the sleeves of her pyjama top. With his tongue, he explored her mouth and continued to move his thumbs over her breasts before he grasped them fully.
As her hands ran over his chest, he could feel how much this was what he wanted. He wanted her more than he ever had in his life. With both hands, Harry pushed her pyjama bottoms down until they were off of her completely. Gently, he stroked her thighs while still sucking on her breasts. Carefully, he laid his right hand between her thighs and slipped a finger in. Slowly, he rubbed against her clitoris.
Her breathing became deeper and faster from this. Nothing could compare with this expression as his finger slid carefully between her legs. Fascinated, he watched her as he slid in and out of her until her hips tried to meet his fingers. Harry wanted to be as close as possible to Hermione; to feel her inside and outside. He took his hand away. Hermione groaned quietly, and her eyes stared into his.
They were so dark now, filled with passion and desire. A hungry desire with such an indescribable glow. Suddenly, he was caught in those eyes and didn't realise how she had unbuttoned his jeans with a smile on her lips. Automatically, he pulled his jeans and boxer shorts completely off. His eyes never left hers. They were only inches away from crossing a line, which didn't really exist. He cupped her cheek with his hand and softly stroked her face with his thumb.
"Are you sure you want this? You can tell me if you don't." He knew she would say yes -- it was written clearly in her eyes.
"I want you," she answered huskily, before she grasped at him and kissed him with such power that he was lost again. His other hand went down and parted her legs. As he lay between her, he could feel the heat from her radiating against him. Hermione broke the kiss as he entered her. Slowly, very slowly, he went further. It was so hard to ignore this fantastic feeling. She was warm around him, and she was holding him tighter than he could imagine. Never did he think he'd cross this line with her. He had always fought against his feelings for her. Today he was only one inch away.
"Kiss me," he commanded. Without hesitation, she kissed him. Her soft lips touched his before her tongue ran over his lips, which parted for her. As she touched his touch, he slid through her barrier. Suddenly, she stopped kissing him, but he didn't let her break the kiss.
Harry took her legs around his waist. As he felt how much deeper he was, he moaned. In his ears, he could hear her response. Their kiss became more intense as his thrusts became faster. He could feel her legs tightly around him and felt how she moved her hips against him. Harry's breathing was faster, and so he left her mouth to catch his breath. Hermione's arms were tightly around his neck, and slowly her hands travelled across his back as he went even faster. He couldn't give more than that, so he grasped her bottom to bring her even closer. Indeed, he couldn't get any closer. Her grip on his shoulder became harder as her moans grew louder. From one thrust to another, she was tighter and pulsating. Her grip was now almost painful, though he didn't care, as he watched how she was almost on the edge. This expression on her face was new, and he was sure that it was now his favourite. Tightly, her eyes shut and her mouth opened lightly, her head in his neck. Before he knew it, he himself was over the edge.
It was so powerful that he didn't know when it was ever more intense. He laid his head on her shoulder and her arms went around him. Harry knew that he had never felt so complete before. Hermione's hand ran through his hair.
Without thinking, he spoke. "You don't know how badly I need you," he whispered. "I love you, always and forever. Near and far, together and apart. I'd follow you anywhere, do anything for you." Her response was a soft kiss onto his forehead.