Well, here's the next update…lol. Sorry that it's taking me so long to update, but we only have 20 more school days left, which means exams are drawing near…and which also means that so are report cards. So all future updates will probably be short or far apart, if not both.
However, I proudly present to you chapter 13, where you will find many Harmony moments, not to mention some significant turning points. This chapter is also significantly longer (I was originally debating cutting it in half and making you wait, but seeing as I made, and most likely am going to make you wait so long, I decided that you deserved the entire thing), at a whopping 5,876 words.
Please enjoy and review. And yes, I will tell you now, Harmony is not that far away. However, that also means that this story will soon come to its end…
Thanks for all the reviews! Really, you guys are amazing. I can never begin to express how much your reviews mean to me. It really is what keeps a writer motivated.
And now, on to Chapter 13 of "I'm Not Neurotic! The Diary of Hermione Granger."
*****
November 7,
Today must have been the worst day of my life. I swear, it really was - yes, that does mean worse than when I was almost murdered in the Department of Mysteries. That's how terribly awful (yes, I realize that was horribly redundant of me, but let us forget proper grammar now, shall we?) my day was.
I should have known it was going to be a disaster the moment I woke up with that intensely painful headache, or at the very least when I saw the look on Terry's face when he discovered that we were going on a double date with Harry and Parvati.
Honestly, if looks could kill…well, then again, Harry and Ron would have been dead the first time they tried to copy my homework in first year.
*****
I woke up Saturday morning extremely early and, unsurprisingly, cranky. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not one to sleep in, even on a Saturday, but waking up at six AM on a day with no classes is no picnic for anyone - even me. I normally sleep until eight, once in a while taking the luxury to sleep in until nine, but thanks to the throbbing pain behind my eyes, I didn't get such a chance today.
I groaned as I opened my eyes and the sunlight hit me square in the eye, causing me to flinch in pain and experience a wave of nausea. At that moment I knew that one of two events had occurred: either I had gotten drunk last night and I was experiencing a hangover, or I was now a victim of a severe migraine thanks to the stress I had experienced lately. Knowing fully well that the most alcoholic beverage I had ever drunk in my life was Butterbeer, I decided that the latter was the case and closed my eyes tight in an attempt to block out the light.
I blindly reached for my curtains and tried to sit up at the same time, only to have my balance fail me and fall out of my bed. I thankfully landed on my bottom, but that didn't make the jolt I experienced cause me any less excruciating pain to my head.
"Bugger," I muttered angrily as I stood up. I realized that I needed to get dressed, and I couldn't do so with my eyes closed. I sighed sadly and cautiously opened both eyes. I was hit with another wave of pain and had to steady myself by taking hold of my night table as I felt the room spin.
"This is unfair," I moaned to myself. "Absolutely unfair. It's enough I have to go through what I am, but to top it all off with a bloody migraine?" I decided to simply squint my eyes, and although it didn't shut the sun out completely, at least I could get dressed without wanting to cut my head off.
I stumbled over to my closet and found my uniform (I was not in any mood to plan an outfit, even if I did have a picnic to go to later on) and dressed as quickly as I could considering the circumstances.
After pulling on some loafers I shuffled my way downstairs where I was thankfully greeted by an empty common room. I continued down the stairs that led to the Gryffindor common room to find it as silent as the one I had just left. I exited the Gryffindor Tower and headed in the direction of the Hospital Wing at the fastest pace I could manage. Needless to say it was a good amount of time before I reached the Hospital Wing's doors.
Not bothering to knock, as I normally would have done, I decided to barge in on a very surprised Madam Pomfrey.
"Miss Granger!" she exclaimed, looking up from a student she was tending who looked as if they were unconscious. "What is going on?"
"Migraine," I croaked. "Potion. Now."
Madam Pomfrey took one look at my state and tsked. "I thought someone as sensible as you would know not to drink," she scolded, narrowing her eyes at me.
I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists in an attempt to not attack her.
"Do you honestly think that I would compromise my academic career for something so frivolous?" I demanded of her. I realized how rude I must have sounded and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. "I'm sorry," I apologized to a very offended Madam Pomfrey. "I'm just under so much stress. That's what brought on the migraine you see." I massaged my temples as they began to throb again. "Do you have anything that could make this thing disappear?" I begged her.
Madam Pomfrey sighed. "I should've known you would crack one day from the stress. Wait one second dear, and lie down."
I didn't bother to correct her (after all, I hadn't really cracked, at least not yet), and did as she instructed me.
Madam Pomfrey returned with a steaming potion. She handed it to me and I gulped it down, anxious to rid myself of all pain. I immediately regretted such a choice as the potion tasted like horseradish, a taste I have not yet acquired, and doubt that I ever will. However, I choked it down and immediately the headache disappeared.
"Thank you very much!" I told her, hopping up, only to be stopped by her hand.
"Where do you think you're going?" Madam Pomfrey asked me, raising an eyebrow.
"I was thinking of heading off to breakfast," I replied, confused by her question.
"Over my dead body," Madam Pomfrey said, narrowing her eyes at me. "You're staying here for the rest of the day. You're obviously very stressed. I want to look after you."
My eyes widened at her words. That great control freak is going to ruin my day! I moaned to myself. I controlled myself, once again, from attacking her and said as calmly as possible, "Please don't worry about me. I'm going on a picnic with some friends today. I'll be perfectly fine. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to have some breakfast."
And before she could respond that she did indeed mind, as I knew fully well that she would, I jetted off and didn't slow down until I was safely seated at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall.
I checked my watch, which said that it was a quarter after seven (Madam Pomfrey really does keep her patients waiting too long). I sighed as I looked around and realized that I was alone, and I most likely would stay alone for about half an hour.
Sighing at this realization, I poured myself a cup of coffee (I deserved some caffeine) and placed two pieces of toast on my plate. I still have guilt trips sometimes for eating so much when I think about those poor enslaved house elves, as I was now. I often felt uncomfortable for eating at all, but realized that if I didn't eat, no one would be left to free them. Only this kept my appetite from disappearing.
As I nibbled on my toast and thought about the events of yesterday (I had a feeling that the little war that had started between Parvati and myself was not over), I saw, to my great surprise, Terry enter the Great Hall, not looking too well himself (although a right side better than I must have when I woke up this morning. At least he appeared sober).
He noticed me and gave me a small smile before joining me at my table. Surprised by this action, I immediately pointed out that this wasn't his table.
"Well, seeing as you're the only one up, I figured it would be okay," Terry replied, slightly coldly as he grabbed the pitcher full of orange juice. He raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't mind, do you?"
"No, of course not!" I answered quickly, slightly offended by his accusation. "I'm just not used to you eating here, that's all."
"We should eat together more often," Terry replied with a slight frown. "We've been eating at different tables. We're a couple. We have the right to eat at one another's tables. Anyway, our houses aren't enemies. It's not like you're dating Malfoy."
"Oh Merlin," I said, flinching at his last comment and dropping my toast immediately, sick with the thought of dating such a horrible person. "That's just disgusting of you to even mention."
Terry laughed, losing his cold tone and replacing it with a much warmer one. "Yes, I suppose it was. But
you're dating me, so nothing to worry about, right?"
"Right," I answered, slightly uncertainly, though not enough that he noticed. Terry grinned at me and kissed me on the lips. He didn't notice when I didn't return the kiss.
"Now," he said as he grabbed some eggs and placed them on his plate, next to his orange (men have very weird combinations when it comes to food - eggs and an orange…honestly), "What shall we do? It's a gorgeous day - 22 degrees I hear (and in November no less!) - and we shouldn't waste it inside studying."
"Of course not," I replied lightly, buttering my toast. "We should study outside." I gave Terry a side-glance and smirked. Terry laughed.
"No, seriously," he replied. "What do you say we spend the day together?"
"Well," I said slowly, placing my toast and knife down, trying to figure out how to tell Terry that we were already set for a double date with none other than Harry. "I was thinking that we could, er, go on a picnic?" I gave a nervous laugh as I purposely left out the part where Harry and Parvati would tag along - or rather where we would tag along with Harry and Parvati.
Terry looked positively radiant at my suggestion. "That's a wonderful idea!" he exclaimed. "When?"
Harry told me last night, after detention, that we would meet at the gates outside Hogsmeade around 12, and so I told Terry exactly that. Leaving out the Harry bit of course.
Terry grinned at me happily. "This will be great," he smiled. "I can't wait!" He looked at his watch, got up, gave me a short kiss, and told me that he was going to brush up on his studies before the date. I knew I should have done exactly that too, but I had just noticed that Harry had walked in (with Parvati clinging to his arm and glaring suspiciously at me), and realized that there was too much of a pull to stay here. I quickly brushed Terry off by telling him that I'd meet him outside Hogwarts at ten of 12. Terry nodded his head in understanding and left, luckily ignoring how distant I had become at the arrival of Harry.
Parvati and Harry arrived at the table. Parvati had obviously been trying to sit between us, as when Harry rushed ahead of her to sit next to me she looked extremely pained. She sat down, however, although rather huffily.
"Hi Harry," I told him, smiling brightly at him. I purposely ignored Parvati as I figured it would do nothing to improve my relationship with her by acknowledging her. I took a sip from my coffee mug.
"Hey," he replied, returning the smile so that his green eyes lit up. "Just got up?"
I gave a short, almost barking laugh. "I wish," I told him, fiddling with the handle on my mug. "Sadly I got a wake up call at six AM, thanks to a wonderful migraine, and I had to get a potion from Madam Pomfrey. I couldn't get back to sleep so I came down here around seven and ate."
"Are you okay?" Harry asked me immediately, placing his hand on top of mine in concern. "You're not sick or anything, right?"
I smiled at his gesture (the smile was actually hiding what I was truly feeling - a tingle throughout my entire body) and reassured him that I wasn't going to die. I gave his hand a slight squeeze, and he squeezed back.
Only he didn't let go.
And neither did I.
So we sat there, squeezing one another's hand and smiling.
It wasn't until Parvati gave a little, "Hem, hem," and nudged Harry with her elbow that we quickly let go, looking away, pretending to be embarrassed.
I heard Parvati hiss, "What was that about?" while Harry hurriedly tried to explain that he was just worried that I was overworking myself like I did in our third year. Parvati didn't accept this explanation, and even though Harry apologized for it (I tensed at his apology - was he really sorry?), Parvati left the table, proclaiming that she was going to spend some time with Lavender and that she'd meet him for their picnic later.
"Sorry about that," I said quietly as I picked at the crust of my now cold, not to mention soggy, toast.
"It's not your fault," Harry sighed, picking glumly at an orange. "She just doesn't understand the type of relationship we have."
I kept quiet, and as I didn't respond to his comment, Harry continued.
"I had the same issue with Cho," Harry told me, shaking his head. "Of course, you know all about that. She thought that we were secretly dating on the outside or something. Seems Parvati thinks the same thing." Harry gave a small laugh. "Insane, huh?"
"Yeah," I echoed softly. "Insane."
"I wish she would understand that we're just really close friends. I mean the three of us have been best friends since we were eleven. We're bound to be close, even two people of the opposite sex."
"Uh huh," I said, looking away and staring out into the distance in an effort not to shout out that I most definitely did not feel that our closeness was simply platonic.
Harry sighed. "Oh well. Guess I better try to make it up to Parvati. I'll see you later, okay?"
I nodded at Harry silently as he left the table. I was only left alone for a moment, as floods of students suddenly entered the Great Hall. Looking at my watch I realized that it was nine AM, the prime breakfast hour. I didn't feel much like being around my fellow students, so I left the table just as Ginny sat down, deciding that I would study for a few hours instead.
*****
The sad part about it all is that was just the morning of my day from Hell.
Yes, it got worse.
The studying part was fine. The date part… Well, "was not" would be an understatement, to say the very least.
*****
I had ended up interrupting my studies to take a nap (after all, I had lost two hours of sleep), and awoke to realize that it was ten to twelve.
"Bugger," I muttered to no one in particular. I jumped up and ran all the way until I reached the outside doors of Hogwarts. By the time I found Terry I was panting for breath.
"So-so sorry!" I exclaimed, clutching at a stitch that had developed during my sprint. "I took…took a-a nap and I overslept and…and…I'm sorry!" My explanation was interrupted many times by my constant need to gulp air.
"No need," Terry told me gently. "It happens. Can you breathe?" he asked me.
"Ye-yeah," I replied with a reassuring smile. "Just no more running for me." I laughed good-naturedly as I straightened up and we set out for the gates to Hogsmeade. As we drew closer I felt my throat constrict and realized I was having trouble breathing, and it had nothing to do with cardiovascular activities. This would be the moment where Terry discovered that we were actually going on a double date, and I had a feeling he wouldn't be too happy with me.
I saw Terry give me a skeptical look as we finally reached the gates and Harry and Parvati were waiting for us.
I heard Parvati demanding impatiently of Harry, "What on earth are we waiting for?"
Before Harry could respond he noticed us and shouted, "Hi Hermione! Terry!" waving as if we were a mile away when in fact the distance between us was merely ten feet.
Parvati swiveled around; her eyes narrowed at us - or rather at me.
She turned quickly back to Harry and she whispered, although not softly enough as I could hear her loud and clear, "She's coming with us?" Not they. She.
As Harry tried to explain to a slowly reddening Parvati, Terry turned to me and asked me the same question, only, of course, with a he.
"Well," I told him, feeling horribly guilty, "Yes." Terry looked ready to explode and I rushed to explain. "You see, Harry asked me two days ago if we'd like to go on a double date picnic, and I figured that we would, er, have a wonderful time! I know I should've told you!" I continued, wringing my hands nervously as Terry glared at me, "But I thought you would react badly, seeing as what happened between the two of you, especially after last night, and I wanted you to give Harry a second chance and realize that we're…that we're just friends." I said the last part extremely quickly, not wanting to admit it myself. Whether Terry noticed or not, I couldn't tell, for he simply sighed, shook his head, almost in disbelief, and reassured me that it would be okay.
I turned to see how Harry was dealing with Parvati, and saw, to my relief, that her face had returned to a normal color. She gave me a smile, although her eyes remained the exact opposite of friendly.
"Well," she said briskly. "Let's get a move on, shall we?" Harry bent over to pick up two baskets and I quickly offered my service and took one myself. The four of us walked silently throughout most of Hogsmeade until we reached a patch of grass (which was hard to find due to the fact that it was, despite the warm weather, winter) that had a nice view of the shrieking shack.
I gave Harry a knowing smile as I helped him set up the picnic (both Terry and Parvati, although they seemed to have forgiven us, were still angry and had refused to help - although they still kept surveillance over us at all times while it was just the Harry and me together, as if we were about to snog each other). I pointed to the shack with my eyes and Harry turned around to look at the building that harbored so many memories. He turned back and chuckled.
"Quite an adventure that we had, wasn't it?" he confided to me quietly so that Terry and Parvati couldn't hear us.
"Quite," I responded, smoothing out the blanket that we would all sit on as Harry set out the food. I laughed as I thought about that night three and a half years ago.
"What?" Harry asked me inquiringly.
"Just remembering how we all cursed Snape is all," I told Harry, and he laughed too.
"That was brilliant," Harry beamed. "Of course you had to ruin the moment with your, `We attacked a teacher!' exclamation and complimentary nervous dance."
"Hey!" I replied, playfully slapping him on the arm as if I was offended. "It's against the rules to attack a teacher, and the fact that all three of us had…" I trailed off.
"You'll always follow the rules, huh Hermione?" Harry grinned. "You deserve a plaque. Miss Hermione Granger - award for the most rule abiding student at Hogwarts."
"Not always," I said softly. "I never paused to think about breaking a rule if it concerned your welfare." I looked up at Harry and saw that he was staring at me, his hand, which had been reaching for a bunch of plates seconds before, frozen in midair.
I blushed and looked away quickly and helped Harry finish unpacking, feeling the cold glares of Parvati and Terry (Your boyfriend! I reminded myself sternly. Terry. Not Harry) on our backs.
"We're ready!" I called to the two, who had quickly begun talking when they realized that we had turned to face them again (after all, they didn't want us to know that they were spying on us).
"How lovely," Parvati smiled, which was clearly forced, as she walked over, along with Terry, to the blanket. She sat down next to Harry and wrapped her arm possessively around his waist. Terry copied Parvati's movement, and I found myself squashed up against his body.
Harry and I exchanged looks and couldn't help but roll our eyes. We both knew our respective boyfriend and girlfriend was way past being jealous.
They had become, for lack of better words, absolutely neurotic, probably believing that Harry and I were shagging late at night.
*****
Yes, yes, I know the date doesn't sound so bad. I mean, sure, Parvati and Terry were being rather annoying, what with their distrust (where's the basis of a relationship if there's no trust?), but Harry and I were having a rather good time.
Weird, isn't it? Harry and I were having an enjoyable time with one another…just not with our dates.
Anyway, that wasn't the bad part. No, the bad part came later, after we finished our lunches (I learned that Harry had acquired the food from the house elves. Of course, this bothered me a bit, but he reassured me that Dobby had done it all for him, and seeing as Dobby gets paid and has days off, I found myself okay with the situation). You see, Parvati insisted that she and Harry walk a few feet off to look at the Shrieking Shack (not anywhere near it mind you - Parvati doesn't have enough courage for something like that), and Terry and I were left on our own…
*****
"Alone at last," Terry smiled, a smile playing on his lips.
"You're not enjoying this?" I asked him, realizing I really didn't care if he was anyway. I was too concerned with the way that Parvati was trying to interlace her fingers with Harry's.
"No," Terry replied, clearly not telling me the truth. "I'm just glad to have some time with just you." To my great surprise he leaned over me so that his body was on top of mine and began kissing me.
Now, of course, we had kissed before, but being the prude I am, that was the most we had done. Imagine my surprise when I found that his tongue had somehow found his way into my mouth.
I was so astonished that I had no idea how to react. I was in shock. Yes, we had been dating for nearly a month now, yes, I was seventeen and I honestly should've been doing this at least two years ago, and yes, I realized most couples had gotten to the snogging stage by now, if not further. But must I remind you that I'm Hermione Granger? Love is not my department - nor is going anywhere in love.
So you can just continue to imagine the look upon my face as I felt my blouse lift up and a hand place itself on my stomach - on my flesh.
My eyes opened quickly, but I was still too overwhelmed to do anything about the situation.
I was debating with myself whether or not to find a way to snap myself out of it and stop Terry when he got to the stage where his hand made his way higher and higher. After all, we were making out, in public no less. And if I wasn't mistaken, he was doing this just to prove to Harry that I was his girlfriend.
Before I could do anything, however, Terry had been ripped off of me. I stayed on the ground, unable to move, as if petrified by what had just taken place. It wasn't until I heard Parvati scream, "Harry! No!" that I quickly stood up, only to find that Terry was pushed up against a tree, while none other than Harry held him by his neck.
I rushed over to the said tree, horrified by this turn of events.
As I arrived at the scene I heard Harry threaten Terry: "If you ever touch her like that again, I swear that I will hex you off the face of this earth."
"She's…she's my girlfriend!" Terry sputtered.
Harry's emerald eyes, which were usually dancing with life, were now full of anger. It was as if a fire had been lit behind them.
"I don't care," Harry hissed. "That doesn't give you a right to treat her body as your personal snogging machine."
"Harry," I said gently, knowing that yelling at him would do nothing, and placing a hand on his arm. "Harry, let him go. He didn't do anything wrong."
"He didn't even bother to see that you didn't want to be snogging!" Harry yelled angrily, tightening his hold on Terry. I heard Parvati squeal.
"Harry," I continued in a calming voice that even surprised myself, "just let him go. All right? You're not solving anything. Just let him go."
Harry mumbled something under his breath that sounded a lot like, "Miserable old bastard," but stepped away nonetheless, allowing Terry to slide down the tree. Harry turned to me and muttered an apology, looking down so as to avoid my eyes.
I found myself unable to respond. On one hand, I was annoyed, nay furious, that Harry didn't think that as a fully-grown witch I could care for myself, and also there was the fact that he had almost killed my boyfriend. On the other, I knew that if Harry hadn't stopped Terry, I surely wouldn't have, and the fact that Harry had noticed that I wanted Terry to stop meant beyond anything to me.
Instead of facing Harry I decided to help Terry up, who was rubbing at his neck. He looked up and to my disbelief glared at me, tearing his hand away from my grasp. He shook his head in anger and turned away from me, walking quickly down the road that winded through Hogsmeade and back towards Hogwarts.
Deciding that Harry and Parvati could clean up the picnic themselves I ran after Terry. Luckily I was in much better shape than him, thanks to all of the adventures with Harry and Ron (while Terry spent most of his time in the library), and I reached him in no time.
"What is your problem?" I demanded of him, twirling him around by the shoulder so that he faced me. "That wasn't my doing you know!"
"Well you didn't exactly blow up at him for it, did you?" Terry replied coldly. "For Merlin's sake, Hermione. You comforted him! You comforted the bloody man who attacked me."
"He has a name you know," I replied immediately, my voice cold.
Terry was taken aback. He obviously hadn't expected for me to say something even remotely like that, and I had a feeling that I had messed up very much by saying what I did.
Nonetheless, Terry ploughed on. "Fine. Harry. Harry attacked me, your boyfriend, might I remind you, for trying to make out with you. We've gone out for over a bloody month, Hermione, and it's illegal for us to snog?" Terry gave a sharp laugh. "He even accused me of snogging you when you didn't want to!"
I stayed silent, not sure how to respond. Terry's eyes widened as he realized the truth.
"You didn't want to?" he whispered.
"N-no," I said softly, unable to look him in the eye. "No."
"But we've gone out for a month, Hermione, a month. There are couples out there who are…. I mean, if we can't even snog, if you don't even want to snog, that doesn't say much about us as a couple, does it?"
I didn't reply but let Terry continue ranting.
"And you seem much happier spending time with Harry than me! I mean, all of those little smiles you give each other, the hand holding…"
"We're just friends," I said, my voice surprisingly hoarse.
"Well it bothers me," Terry said tersely. "And I'm no fool Hermione."
"What are you talking about?" I asked him, blinking in confusion.
"I know that I can't date you so long as you're with Harry," Terry informed me briskly, as if we were dealing with business instead of our relationship, "but I also know that if forced to choose between us, you wouldn't need a moment's notice. Your choice would be him."
"Are we breaking up?" I asked quietly, not refuting what he had said. It was, after all, completely true.
Terry sighed. "It was…er…fun…while it lasted," he told me. "But we were obviously not meant for each other. Sure, we had our laughs, but it's clear that I'm not the guy for you." After giving me a significant look, Terry turned away, calling, "Goodbye, Hermione!" leaving me all alone in the middle of Hogsmeade, and surprisingly not at all hurt by the break up.
However, I was not left on my own for long. A girl rushed by me, sobbing hysterically with tears gushing from her eyes and down her red face. Although I only caught a glimpse of her, I knew that the girl was Parvati. Turning around I saw Harry walking down the road, carrying the baskets and looking rather depressed. I ran up to meet him.
"What happened?" I asked him softly, taking a basket from him as I had earlier today.
"I think we broke up," he sighed.
"Why?" I exclaimed, trying to hide my joy at the news.
"Well," said Harry, running his fingers through his hair, "after you ran after Terry she started yelling at me, accusing me of caring more about you than her. Then she told me that I had a choice: you or her, because she wasn't going to stay so long as you were around. The idiot," Harry shook his head. "As if I wouldn't choose you."
I felt a lump in my throat, and I knew that it wasn't because I was upset. I was happy. I was so happy that I most likely was going to cry if I didn't stop myself.
"Just like that?" I asked Harry, staring up at him in disbelief. "Me?"
Harry shrugged. "Of course. We've been best friends for six years. Some girl isn't going to come between us."
"And is it true?" I said, so softly that I feared he couldn't hear me.
"Is what true?" Harry asked in confusion.
"That you care more about me?" I waited for his answer with bated breath.
"Of course," Harry laughed. "Didn't I just tell you? We're best friends. You'll always mean more to me than some girl." What he said had filled me up with happiness I never knew existed. But then Harry continued, the second part almost hesitantly, although it did nothing to reduce the pain it caused me. "Just like Ron will."
Just like Ron will. The words stung, but I quickly made myself ignore it.
"Well, I'm sorry," I told Harry. "It's all my fault, I imagine. After all, I'm the reason why Parvati broke up with you."
"Don't blame yourself!" Harry said immediately. "It wasn't your fault."
"I suppose," I replied. "And after all, I guess this makes us even."
"What?" Harry looked utterly confused at my last comment.
"Well, you see, Terry broke up with me."
"He what?"
"Yes," I reaffirmed for Harry. "Only thing is he was a lot smarter than Parvati. He told me that he knew he couldn't continue going out with me so long as you and I were still friends, but he also knew that I would choose you over him. So he broke up with me."
"I'm so sorry!" Harry exclaimed. "I shouldn't have overreacted all those times, and- "
"It's fine," I told Harry gently. "Just like you told me - it wasn't your fault. Sure, you acted way out of line," Harry shuffled his feet guiltily as I said this, "But you've always been overprotective. And you clearly care." I decided that I didn't want another row with Harry, and finally chose between the two paths I had set up for myself before. "After all, only you would notice that I didn't want to snog some guy, and that means something. How did you tell anyway?" I asked Harry curiously.
"Well, you were completely stiff. That and your eyes were opened in horror," Harry laughed.
I shook my head. "I'm a horrible girlfriend. Or was…" I added.
"No," Harry reassured me. "He just wasn't the right guy."
"No?" I asked Harry, looking up quickly. "Then is there any guy that's right for me?"
"I think there is," Harry replied, staring at me intently. I had the tiniest inkling that perhaps he meant himself, but knowing me I probably had the signs all wrong. I had all the other times, so what was to stop me now?
Harry looked away, commenting that it was getting late and we should head back, which we did, in complete silence.
Although that didn't prevent us from smiling and giving one another those "looks" that we were apparently famous for.
And as we continued to exchange smiles, with the sun setting behind us (it was amazing to think that we had been out for five hours), it was clear to both of us why we were so happy. Because whether or not either of us would admit it to the other, the fact that we had just rid ourselves of our "significant other" was a weight off not only our own, but both our shoulders.
*****
All right. So the day wasn't so bad. I originally thought that the break up had made this day horrible, but in retrospective, it's what actually made my day.
Which is horrible for me to say, I know. But still. I was able to have another one of those moments with Harry.
And who knows? Maybe Harry's writing in a journal himself about how he had one of those moments with me.
Of course, I'm probably being completely delusional, not to mention beyond optimistic, and Harry is probably considering Lavender as his newest girlfriend.
Oh Merlin. I surely hope not.
What's worse, Ginny came up here a few seconds ago. I didn't have enough time to tell her about my day, as she only came to squeal to me that Hogwarts was holding a ball in two weeks. Apparently a certain school had finally hit its 1000th birthday. Three guesses which.
And I must say, I'm not looking forward to it. Because a ball involves a date, and a date involves a guy.
And I happened to have just lost a guy.
And the guy that I do like most likely doesn't even feel the same way. Because I'm another Ron to him.
And we all know that Harry is not gay and would never date Ron. Then again, if he were, I wouldn't be able to date him anyway. Oh how I despise irony.
Did I mention that I hate my life?
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