I hate dress robes. They always make me seem so formal, and whenever I seem formal, it means I'm going to one of those obligated parties where no one stops staring at me and no one really talks to me. I sit on the sidelines, drinking glass after glass of some red or yellow stuff, and get out of there as fast as I can. Ginny makes, well made, these things more bearable. She would stay with me when people stared and would then drag me up to them and force some conversation. Now, the parties were as boring as ever, but when you're trying to converse with someone and trying not to notice the hairy mole on their chin, time goes by faster than if you just sit and drink the red stuff.Â
I was going to ask Ginny to accompany me to this party too, like I did the last one. She always knows what to say and what to do. She always dresses me in something that's not so scratchy. She knows how to glare at Ron to get him to sod off. Well, she knows how to glare at anyone to get them to sod off. But then again, so do you, and I think you do it better. Being the greatest witch of our time and everything....ahrrrrr....why do all thoughts come back to you? I'm not supposed to think of you anymore. I'm not supposed to think of you at all. You're the one that made it perfectly clear you didn't want anything to do with me. We work in the same, sodding place for goodness sake! Every time in the past three years that I've gone to find you, to drop in on you unexpectedly, the door disappears on me, as if it doesn't want me to find it. I've tried to wait for you. I've guarded the exits. You're either wearing an invisibility cloak, or are taking extra precautions not to see me. Why is that, Hermione? Why? Aren't we best friends? The first few weeks I chalked it up to you being busy. But you've never been so busy that you haven't had time to see me. I've tried to owl you, but Hedwig always came back without a reply. I tried you at your flat, but it's warded against everyone. Don't you trust me? I don't have the Idiot-Who-Tried-To-Kill-Me-As-A-Baby in my head anymore. I just wanted to see you.
Three years, Hermione, three years. The first time I've seen you in three years was at that sodding Ministry party, ironically, the one in your honor. I actually wanted to come to this party; I never want to go to those parties. I wanted to see you. I took extra time in choosing my dress robes, practicing what I would say when I would see you, the questions I would demand that you answer. But then I saw you. Cream dress robes. Hair flowing over your shoulders. I forgot everything I was going to say. I saw you walk up to Ron and Luna, kiss them both. I saw you place your hand on Luna's bulge, and say something that made Ron's ears turn as red as his hair.
I saw you walking towards us, Ginny and me. I saw your eyes widen as you took in Ginny's stomach. I wanted to tell you that the baby wasn't mine, that my relationship with her had changed in the past three years, but then your lips were on my cheek and I couldn't think for a minute. I vaguely heard you mutter a congratulations and something about love, and then, suddenly, you were gone. All I saw was a blur of brown. I couldn't move until I felt Ginny's hand on my arm.
"Harry. You have to tell her. This is unhealthy. You can't do this forever. I can't always be the one with you at Ministry parties. I have...my husband. I think he sort of resents that I do this for you. After all, he did hate you for some years."
I snapped out of my reverie. "Sodding Malfoy...errr...Draco. It's not my fault he decided to drop out of the magical scene, and marry and have a baby with someone who's still here. Oh no...Ginny! The baby! She thinks your baby is mine! You have to tell her that it's not. You have to make her understand. You have to - "
"No, Harry. She's yours. You have to do this. You have to talk to her. You barely said two words to her when she came over. It's time to step it up. Where's your Gryffindor bravery?"
"She has been IGNORING me for three years, Gin. I tried. What am I supposed to do?"
"She can't run away from you here, Harry."
Ginny was right. I went looking for you. I was drawn to you. You were so perfect, just as you've always been to me. Granted, your temper is not always in check, and you're scary sometimes, but you're always perfect. Do you remember that time when I was dreaming and we were losing, and I was flailing around and yelling and moaning and he was going to kill you? And you placed your hand over mine and your voice brought me back into the real world? And you held me in your arms as i cried, and you kissed my hair and I slept? And in the morning, you went back to Ron, and I went back to being Harry? Ron never knew. I never forgot.
You were talking to him. I don't remember his name. Justin? Jeffrey? James? Yes, I think it was James. I remember because you were talking to someone with the same name as my father. And you were smiling and laughing and my heart plunged to the ground. What was he to you? Why didn't I know? Shouldn't I know? I still consider you my best friend, after all. I saw him take your hand and a blush stain your cheeks. I walked away. I took Ginny's hand and we left the stupid thing. I couldn't come between you and happiness. I was a coward. I should have walked up, demanded to know where you were in the past three years and kissed you, like I had in my dreams. The alternative was that I should have just forgotten you, but I couldn't do that.
So I'll put on my dress robes. I'll try in vain to tame my hair. I'll put on some nice shoes. I'll go to this stupid party honoring someone I can't remember, and I'll have no Ginny to remind me to look for you. But I'll remember anyways. I'll see Ron there with Luna, and I'll congratulate them and demand to be made godfather. I'll hope to see you, preferably without James, and if he's there, I'll congratulate you and if he's not there, I'll demand to know what's wrong with us. But I have a sinking feeling that he will be there. So I'll say...something. Because I am Harry Potter, and if I don't say anything, I'll just glare and make him go away. And if he's still there, you'll never know how much I love you. But I'll see you, at least, and for now, that will be enough.