I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
The words reverberated in my head. I heard them over and over again. A million questions ran through my mind. Most of them went something like: You loved me? You loved me? You loved me? Those three words were all I could think about. I remembered nothing of our conversation. I forgot all of my questions about you and Ginny and Ginny's husband. Everything blew out of my mind. I don't even think I remembered my own name. In fact, I'm surprised I even remembered what I was thinking at the time. I'm sure I looked petrified. I was stunned, to say the least. To think I'd spent all this time running from you! I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I was literally speechless. It was then I heard it. A small POP. I turned and looked around. You were gone. You were gone and I hadn't had a chance to say anything to you! Tears began to well up in my eyes anew. Then I stopped. Granted, I was a bit more emotional than I usually was, but I still had my head. I went into what Ron sometimes refers to Super-Hermione mode, or the more traditional, "She's mental, that one". Once you were gone, everything flew back into my mind. Ginny. Ginny's husband. Ginny's husband that wasn't you. All my questions and your refusal to answer them. What exactly was it that you said?Â
"Err...we can't talk about that here. Remember the place where you loved to spend time when we were searching for the Horcruxes? Meet me there."
Oh, you did look cute when you were nervous. I'm sure I had a look on my face as I flung those questions at you. Now that I think about it, you weren't just nervous from me. You were looking around, as if making sure no one was around. What exactly was it that you couldn't tell anyone else? And why didn't you just name the place? Were you afraid that people might hear and go there to overhear our conversation? What could be so important?
I remembered the place perfectly. It was a little garden just down the street from my parent's house. You had it warded and cloaked just for me, so that the only people allowed in were you, Ron, and me. I loved it, perhaps more than I loved the library because it was the one place where I could sit, and pretend everything was all right for awhile. I could read without feeling like I might have missed a vital piece of information. No one even knew about this place. I guess any eavesdroppers would go straight to a library, knowing only Hermione Granger, bookworm.Â
I raised my wand and apparated to a place about two blocks away from the garden. I needed to walk. I needed to think. I had stopped thinking the moment my lips touched yours. It was perfect, far more perfect than I could have imagined. Without realizing it, my fingers tangled with your hair and you were pulling me closer. I was drowning in bliss when your tongue touched my lips and brought consciousness back to me. All I could think about was how I just forced you to betray your wife. You were looking at me as if trying to read my mind. I desperately choked out a word.
"Ginny."
You blanked. I could see that that was not what you expected me to say. You weren't even thinking about her. You had forgotten about her. I could feel the tears in my eyes. What had I done?
"Ginny?"
The tears were released with that one word. You didn't even realize the repercussions of what we had just done. I began to ramble. I don't even truly remember what I was saying. I was looking at my shoes, pouring out all my thoughts. I probably said something about ruining your life and ruining my life and how I was better off just staying away. That's what I was thinking, anyhow. I wish I had the courage to look into your eyes at that moment. What would I have found there? I planned to never look into your eyes again, because apparating away after my speech was the best plan I had come up with all day. Except somehow, I couldn't stop talking and crying long enough to see that you were trying to get my attention. The kiss stopped me in my tracks. The lightest brush of your lips against mine was enough to stop all coherent thought. Well, at least for that moment at least.
Questions began to form in my mind immediately after you pulled away. Ginny? What about her? What were you doing? When you began talking, new questions began to form in my mind.
"Mione, I need you to listen to me. We haven't talked in three years. Now it's not for my lack of trying, but if I had gotten married, I would have sent you an owl and I'm pretty sure that you still would have made it. Well, look at my left hand. See? No ring. I'm not married, not to Ginny, not to anyone."
Not married? But she was pregnant! I could see it so clearly! Obviously they were going to get married, soon. And my kissing him was going to make everything more complicated. And when had Harry become so irresponsible anyhow? Surely, if he didn't know the charm, there were muggle ways of preventing pregnancy. The Weasley brothers would have made mincemeat out of him by now if they found out. I must have been voicing all these concerns, because the next thing I knew, your hands were on my shoulders, robbing me of speech and you were saying:
"Mione, I am one of her brothers now. The baby is not mine. None of her children are mine, or will ever be mine. She's married now, and not to me."
Well that just brought up more questions. I seriously needed to sit down. This was worse than digesting something nasty Snape had said. I needed to concentrate. I could feel your eyes on me as I filed each bit of information you just said into manageable bits. You had a lot to answer for, Harry Potter. I looked up, into your eyes, organized my thoughts, and began to speak, slowly at first, then firing questions like there was no tomorrow. I must have had a crazy look in my eyes because you were looking a little nervous at that time.
"She was with you at the Ministry party. Why wasn't she with her husband? Who is her husband? Why didn't anyone tell me that she was married? I would have gone to her wedding in a second. And what do you mean, 'none of her children'? She has other children? Which child is this? Exactly how much has happened since I've been gone?"
Now, I know that the fact that I had been gone was my fault. I hadn't even conversed with Ron for some time after he wed Luna until he told me that he and Luna were expecting, but I figured, if there was a wedding, I would have at least been invited. And how many children has she had? Questions were popping into my head right and left and I couldn't dodge them all. Then you said your three little words. And of course, I lost thought again. Damn you, Harry Potter.
Well, I've arrived. The gate was just in front of me. Only I could see it. Anyone else would simply think that I was going turning into an empty lot, and would be extremely surprised to see that a few seconds, I would disappear. I hesitated at the gate, I admit. I didn't know what I was going to say to you when I saw you. Of course, I could probably go on another ramble and spit all those questions at you again. A deep breath. I walked through the gate.
You were there, waiting for me, your hands in your pockets, looking extremely nervous, as if I was going to hex you into the next century. My heart melted. How could it not? I walked straight up to you, fully intending to tell you now much I loved you and how I wanted to be with you. However, my brain, riddled with unanswered questions decided to have a go before my heart could do anything with you.
"Talk."