"I love you."
You stopped talking. I was half sure that you stopped thinking, but then I remembered that you were Hermione, and that you never stopped thinking. You looked absolutely petrified, though. I wasn't sure exactly what was going through your mind at the time, but I must have done something wrong, because you didn't even react to the prophecy this way. I waited there for what seemed like an eternity. You didn't speak. You didn't move. I decided to give you a little space and go on to the garden without you. Hopefully, you would take out all your anger here and have none left for me. I probably should have said something, but all bravery left me at that moment. The apparating "pop" was probably the softest I've ever done.
I stayed in the garden, just thinking, wondering what you did when you found me gone. I was thinking about how I would lose you, all of you. Your friendship, your companionship, any platonic love you ever had for me. I was deathly worried. I knew I had made a big mistake doing that. Perhaps I should just correct myself the next time I saw you. Say something along the lines of the fact that I missed you so much that I wanted you to know...Oh that sounds bad even to me. What was I supposed to do? I do love you after all. Then the gate opened.
You stepped into the garden. You looked towards me. Your eyes softened considerably. As you walked to me, I felt more nervous than getting on the Hogwarts Express in first year. This could make or break my life. You said one word.
"Talk."
I didn't say anything. I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? Where was I supposed to start? It was as if you read my mind. You led me over to a bench and sat me down.Â
"Start at the beginning, Harry. I want to know what happened after I left. I know, on that night, the night of the celebration, I..er..I saw you kissing Ginny. What happened between the two of you?"
"That night...well...that night...she kissed me. And with the war being over and everything, I kissed her back. It felt good, knowing that there was someone there for me, that she, you know, didn't hate me for having to be a murderer. And when it was over, I turned around and I saw Ron looking extremely angry. I was about to go over there and see what the matter was but Luna beat me and whispered something in his ear. He turned red. He still looked a bit angry, but he seemed less likely to kill someone, so I left him there. I looked for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere. And the next thing I know, Ginny was kissing me again, and there were people wanting my autograph and shaking my hand. I figured I'd find you after everything had settled down. But nothing really settled down. That was the last time I really ever saw you, I guess. I didn't realize it until I had gotten my job at the Ministry and you didn't come celebrate with us. Well, actually, I didn't fully realize it until I found out that you had gotten a job at the Ministry as well. I went looking for you. A lot. I sent you dozens of owls. And every time, you weren't there. Eventually, I went looking for you at Ron's. You know how he got drafted to the Canons almost immediately after the war, and neither of us saw much of him. Well, I found Luna there, and that's how I found out that you had broken up with him. I was stunned, Hermione. My two best friends broken up and I didn't know about it until months afterwards! I was torn. Hedwig seemed to find you just fine, still, seeing as how she came back empty-taloned every time. But you never wrote back. I never knew exactly where you lived. Eventually, I just stopped sending the letters. A while after that, Ginny and I ..err....well, you see that is....we...ugh....realized our differences and...err....broke up."
I began stammering at this point. Until just then, I was on a roll. I was mindlessly spitting out all my feelings. I was able to look into your eyes. Now, seeing them so piercing, so warm, so full of feeling, so full of sorrow, I couldn't bear to look into them anymore. A tear made its way down the side of my face. Your eyes went from sorrow to sorry in an instant.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I know how you must miss Ginny. And I wasn't there for you. I feel absolutely horrible. I mean, it must have been horrible for you, being with her for so long. I can certainly understand your longing for her still..."
I let you ramble on a bit, while staring at you incredulously. How could you be so smart, yet so thick? Didn't I just tell you that I love you? And yet, you still thought I had feelings for Ginny?
"Hermione. Stop. I don't think you understand. The differences that we realized, you see. She realized that she loved Malfoy, ahhh no. Draco. She realized that she loved Draco. And I...well...I realized that I didn't love her."
"But Harry....wait....did you say Malfoy?"
Your eyes narrowed in distrust. It was one of the scariest things I've ever seen.
"How could she trust Malfoy, much lest love him? What about her family? This is worse than you getting her pregnant! He is on the dark side. He was charged to kill Dumbledore!"
"But he didn't. I'm not exactly sure what happened between them - him and GInny, I mean. She wouldn't tell me. Said I would understand later, but I never did understand. All I know is that Malfoy turns up one day and decides to help us catch the remaining Death Eaters and someone in the bureaucracy decided that I was the best one to take care of him. He's saved my life countless numbers of times, Hermione. He's saved the Weasleys a bunch. And even though you don't know it, he's...err...saved you-"
"He WHAT?"
I took a breath. You would not hex me. Not yet. Not until I told you everything. I was safe for the moment. But even then, as I remembered what happened that night, how you were almost taken from me, my heart gave a jump. That feeling was the worst I've ever felt, even worse than fifth year, when you were hexed and I thought you were dead.
"It was about a year ago. He found some information - a list - that had your name on it. Everyone on the list was Muggleborn. They were going to kill them, one at a time. I scanned the list. I was stunned. I was outraged. Then I saw your name. Everything I saw was red and I was going to kill them all. I almost lost my head. Why should you have to die when you're the most wonderful witch in our lifetime? I couldn't take it. The only thing that brought me back to reality was Malfoy. I remember the words he said like it was yesterday. He said: 'I didn't join you to put up with this. You're acting like a disgrace.' I screamed at him. It was absolutely terrifying, even for me. I've never screamed like that to anyone in my life. I told him how he couldn't understand because he was a Malfoy, and even though he joined me, I would never trust him. He just looked me in the eye with his bloody coolness and said, 'You want to save her, don't you? The bookworm? Then get your bloody head together!' I didn't get my head together. I couldn't. You know me well enough I guess. I yelled some more, broke a...few things. Then he said, rather sadly, 'You love her, don't you?' And it stopped me right in my tracks. I know now that he was sad because he loved Ginny and he thought that Ginny loved me and he thought I would break her heart. But right then, all I could think of was that I had to save you, and if I was going to, then I would have to get myself together. And then, we found the guy. I began seeing red again, and I would have killed him, but Malfoy stunned me, then stunned him, and brought him in. He was sent to Azkaban. I would have been too, but Malfoy saved me yet again. That moment, when he saved you and when he saved me, he earned my trust. Then, because of that, he got on some sort of Death Eater revenge list and couldn't go out without getting hexed. He almost lost his life, so we decided to put him underground. That's when something happened between him and Ginny. They got married in secret. We couldn't owl it to anyone for fear that someone would intercept the owl and use Ginny against him. So you see? I couldn't tell you. I wanted to, at the party, but you were gone."
I said this while looking at the ground, and as I looked up, I could see you crying. I inched my way towards you and tried to brush them from your cheeks. You put a hand on my cheek as well, and I guess I must have been crying too, because your fingers came back wet.
"I'm sorry. It must have been hard for you to let her go."
I must have smiled at that.
"No. Not her. I didn't have a hard time letting go of her. It was rather, my best friend, who I had just realized I had been in love with for...forever, that I couldn't come in contact with, that I had a hard time letting go of. And ugh...no, I'm not talking about Ron."
Tears were in your eyes again. I could see them, despite the ones in mine.
"Oh, Harry."
The best words of the night. Because the next thing I knew, you were in my arms, hugging the stuffing out of me. That is of course, assuming that I had stuffing, which I didn't but it didn't matter because my vision was obscured just the way I liked it. With your hair. And your arms were around my neck cutting off my oxygen supply, but I didn't care, because it just felt right. I wanted to hold on for eternity. Eventually, I had to stop because you were crying and mumbling something unintelligible. I pulled you away.
"Oh, Harry, I've been so stupid. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. I should never have left. I was a selfish idiot. I just...I can't believe I did that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."
It was then I remembered that my whole goal for the night was to figure out why she left in the first place, why she would not give me a chance.
"Hermione. Mione?"
I gently stroked your tears away, the most natural thing in the world. Even though I was horribly hurt at your leaving me to fend for myself for three years, I couldn't stand to see you hurt. I seemed to be on a roll in making you cry these days.Â
"Mione? I just want to know why you left. That's all. I...missed you, you know. I missed you more than you can ever imagine. Seven years, and then...nothing. Did I do something wrong? I know you broke up with Ron, but I never really found out why. You were so happy together. Our friendship was supposed to last through him, anyhow. We've been through so much, you know, I just thought-"
"Harry, you daft git."
Well, I knew I was daft, and occasionally a git, but was there something I was missing?
"Harry, before I tell you everything, you must know why. I left because...I love you."
A/N: Well, one more chapter, everyone. Thanks so much to those who reviewed. It's nice to be appreciated, to wake up in the morning and see that someone read what I wrote. Have no doubt that my writing was somewhat influenced by your thoughts. I'm writing my thanks here because I don't want to in the last chapter, have it end sort of dramatically, you know? Just know, I don't think I'm going to end it with a BANG. Think about that. ;D