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Always Yours, Never Mine by writingmistress
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Always Yours, Never Mine

writingmistress

A/N: I'm not going to be updating as often after this because I've got a competition coming up, and I'm a little stuck on one of the chapters. Maybe every couple of days or so, instead of every day like I've been doing earlier. Plus, WHOA! It's Harry again instead of Hermione!

It was perfect. It was perfect because you are perfect and you make up for me not being perfect. If I was one of those pompous fools, I would have said that I knew that we would kiss because I am "The-Great-Harry-Potter" and so on and so forth. But the truth is, I never expected it. I was only looking for some answers as to why you had suddenly left me, and perhaps a hug and an "Oh Harry, let's be friends again." That would have made my night. But then you went and kissed me and all expectations were blown out the window.

Your lips were so soft, under mine. I could have stayed there for an eternity. Then I felt your arms moving to my neck, your hands moving to my hair. I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing with my hands but somehow they ended up on your waist. All I could think about was pulling you closer. That fierce, male pride. I wanted my Hermione. I wanted to taste you. My tongue snuck out on it's own accord and suddenly, you were gone, like a bullet.

I was way past expectations at this point, so I was utterly confused when you pulled away. You looked confused as well, thinking. Your eyes were in thinking mode. I could almost hear your brain whirling. You looked like you had made the worst mistake of your life. How could it be bad when it was the best kiss of my life? How could it be bad when it felt so right? I was expecting you to say something alone the lines of: "Oh Harry. I'm so sorry. I had no right to do that. I'm with James, after all, and it was just some spur of the moment thing because of your close proximity and the setting and everything. And I wanted you to stop yelling at me." So I was formulating a thought to answer that, making a plan to stop you from apparating right after you told me. But, as always, reality was so different from my expectations that I would have never made it as a seer. The first thing that came out of your mouth after that mindblowing kiss was:

"Ginny."

I, being the utterly slow prat that I am, was confused. Ginny? Why Ginny? Was she here? If she was here, she should congratulate us. But how would she find us here? And what about the baby? It's not too safe for her to be traveling with the baby. Malfoy would kill me if anything happened to the baby. Ron would kill me if anything happened to that baby. So, being the male that I am, I said the only thing I could.

"Ginny?"

Which was apparently not the right thing to say because tears began to run down your cheeks right after I said it.Â

"Harry! You know, your wife Ginny? The one that we've both betrayed when I kissed you? Oh Merlin, I've just gone and kissed you haven't I? I've totally ruined your life. I've totally ruined Ginny's life. And with the baby coming! That's it. You can't tell her. You can't ever tell her because then she'd hate you and I couldn't bear to see you unhappy, and you must go back to your wife and baby, so I'm going to disappear after saying this. I knew I made the right decision by avoiding you three years ago. I knew that something like this would happen. It just had to given my luck...."

Now, see you probably said a lot more following that, but it takes a while for my brain to work after being so confused. Actually, I think it's just you that makes my brain stand still because when I'm dueling and confused, my brain works much better. So now, I suddenly remembered that you didn't know that Ginny and I had broken up long ago. I had to set you straight before you decided to do something drastic and apparate and make it so I could never find you again. It's a good thing you were rambling because otherwise, I'd have been too late.

"Hermione."

"...and you know, I had been living my life just wonderfully and then the bloody Ministry had to go and..."

"Hermione."

"...it was bad enough that I had to go buy new dress robes, but I knew you were going to be there and we hadn't seen each other...."

"HERMIONE!"

"...and it was incredibly awkward, wasn't it? But i knew it would be. I just wish I had some news that you and Ginny were married so I didn't look like such an idiot..."

You weren't listening to me. I doubted that you could even hear me, so I did the only thing I could think of.

I kissed you again. This time, it was short, barely a peck, just to get you to quiet a bit so I could explain to you everything that you had missed. I couldn't have you in full blown snog if you felt guilty about me cheating on a wife I didn't have. It worked. It shut you right up. I took my chance.

"Mione, I need you to listen to me. We haven't talked in three years. Now it's not for my lack of trying, but if I had gotten married, I would have sent you an owl and I'm pretty sure that you still would have made it. Well, look at my left hand. See? No ring. I'm not married, not to Ginny, not to anyone."

Why is it that you are able to listen after I had just shut you up so nicely? Why is it that I had to take a breath?

"But you're going to marry her, aren't you? I mean, the baby. Anyone can tell that she's pregnant. And I can't believe you got her pregnant out of wedlock! What were you thinking? Didn't you do the charm? What did the Weasleys think? I'm sure any of her brothers would have been glad to hex you to the end of the planet, even if you had saved the wizarding world -"

Grabbing your shoulders seem to work as well in shutting you up.

"Mione, I am one of her brothers now. The baby is not mine. None of her children are mine, or will ever be mine. She's married now, and not to me."

I watched you digest this piece of information. I would have had to sit down, but you looked like you were simply....Hermione. Your eyes narrowed in concentration. You looked up at me after a minute, slowly.

"She was with you at the Ministry party. Why wasn't she with her husband? Who is her husband? Why didn't anyone tell me that she was married? I would have gone to her wedding in a second. And what do you mean, 'none of her children'? She has other children? Which child is this? Exactly how much has happened since I've been gone?"

Wow! The spew of questions was coming at me so quickly that I almost didn't have time to think of the answers to them all. But I knew that we couldn't talk about Malfoy in an open area, so I had to stop you. You had that glint in your eye, the one that you have when I rush off somewhere before telling you. The one that could turn any man to jelly. I braved it out.

"Err...we can't talk about that here. Remember the place where you loved to spend time when we were searching for the Horcruxes? Meet me there. And before we go there is something that I have to tell you."

Alcohol again? Or is it just that you're so lovely? I sucked in a breath. Breathe, Harry, breathe. Oh, these were going to be my last words. You were going to hate me after this. You were going to apparate away and I was never going to see you again. But I had to, because it seemed right that you should know.

"I love you."