Unofficial Portkey Archive

Always Yours, Never Mine by writingmistress
EPUB MOBI HTML Text

Always Yours, Never Mine

writingmistress

AN: Whoops. This chapter is a little short. Sorry about that. It's worth setting up for the next chapter, though. Promise.

It's not just a party anymore, is it? It never was. I expected to see you at there with Ginny, but I never expected her to be pregnant. I never expected you to simply stare at me when I went up and kissed you both and muttered my congratulations. If she's pregnant, then you must have married her at some point, and Hedwig never brought any letters telling of a wedding. I wasn't invited then. Is it my fault? Did you get married after you stopped sending the letters? I tried harder than ever to stop loving you then. Then again, I don't know if I could have stood to see you marry her, when all I wanted was to see you marry me. But I would have gone anyways. I just wish I knew so I could have planned something to say ahead of time. I saw you staring at me, as if you didn't know me, and I felt your eyes boring into me as I turned and left. You never said a word. You never even said my name.Â

It's funny how life works. It's funny as I was making my way over to the punch table, thinking of you and your taciturnity, that I would meet James. I talked to him, mostly about work and such, and he was nice. He's someone I could like, and I think he likes me. After all, he took my hand and invited me to the next Ministry party, honoring the healers of St. Mungo. I blushed, something I don't do very often. But even then, as I was speaking to him, you crept into my mind, yet again. It scares me a little because he's someone that I could really like. But then I think of you, the one I already love. I agreed to go because I was sure that you'd be there. You're always there, aren't you?

Fate seems to want to push me towards you, even though you're already with Ginny. I have successfully avoided seeing you for three years, and now, twice in a week, you were there. Well, that's not entirely true. I have been seeing you in my dreams every night now, but that's beside the point. Ginny wasn't there with you this time, I noticed. You seemed out of your element without her, sitting on the side, drinking wine, something that might have seemed casual to an outsider, but could never fool me. I would have talked to you. I might have even explained everything to you if James hadn't gotten to me first. Would I have? I was scared enough just to see you again.

I talked to him, but all the time, I was watching you. I saw you looking at us, as if trying to figure out who I was. I had almost thought you had forgotten me, but then you walked over.

"Hermione." (My name. You're not saying anything else, so I suppose that I can say your name too.)

"H-Harry." (Oh! Why is my voice so shaky? It's not the first time I've spoken to you. I mean well....oh you're saying something else.)

"James." (You know each other? Is this a good thing or bad thing?)

"Mr. Potter." (Mr. Potter? Well you never did like being called Mr. Potter...)

"Enjoying yourselves? May I borrow Hermione for a second? We haven't spoken in a while. Yes? Thank you."

You literally dragged me away from there. I was flabbergasted. I couldn't say a word, especially with your hand on my arm, especially because we were going outside, especially because all of a sudden, I was being apparated away without warning. It was like we were in Hogwarts again and you had done something terribly rude (and actually you had done something terribly rude, leaving James standing there like that) and all the feelings that I had been repressing decided at that moment to spring free.

"Harry James Potter! What did you think you were doing? I was having a wonderful conversation with that very nice young man, and you dragged me away and apparated me to Merlin knows where and -"

"Hermione! Will you shut up a second? I should be the one asking the questions. Where have you been for the last three years? Why haven't you answered any of my owls? Why weren't you there when I needed you? Aren't I your best friend? What about all we've been through? Doesn't that mean anything to you? WHY, IN THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN IGNORING ME?"

Isn't in ironic? You were berating me, and all I could think about was how your hair was delightfully messed up from apparating, how your eyes were flashing anger, but not danger - anger mixed with something else I think - and how you were flushed and your lips were something I wouldn't mind being pressed against. And all of a sudden your hands were on my shoulders and were shaking me out of my thoughts.

"Hermione! Are you listening to me? Can you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

You were out of breath. You were panting short puffs, warm in the cold air. Your hands were on my shoulders. You were so close to me. Your face was right above mine. Your lips were right above mine. I couldn't help it.

I kissed you.

And you kissed me back.