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Always Yours, Never Mine by writingmistress
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Always Yours, Never Mine

writingmistress

All right. I admit it. I may have been a bit drunk. Sitting there, drinking lots of red stuff will do that to you. Ginny wasn't there to stop me. No one came up to me and initiated conversation. Well bollocks to them. I didn't want conversation anyways. I wanted you. And when I saw you, I forgot the wine. I forgot the glass. I forgot to breathe for a minute there. You were beautiful. Well, I suppose you're always beautiful, but when exactly did you find the time to buy all those dress robes that I've never seen before, dress robes that hug your figure so gracefully? You seemed cool and calm and completely in your element. You looked around, looking for him probably. Then you looked at me. Then you started to walk towards me. A million things ran through my mind. What should I say? What should I do? Should I offer you something to drink? Should I offer you myself? Why exactly are you walking towards me when you haven't paid any attention to me in three years other than the last party, which ended in total disaster for me? You were almost to me. I searched my mind for something, anything to say. I had just decided on your name when....he showed up and whisked you away. So in the end, you had been walking towards him all along. I slumped. I took another drink. I probably took a drink from the wrong glass. Come to think of it, that's probably why the wizard with the black mustache and big ears was staring at me, but I was too busy staring at you.

What do you see in him? One look at him and anyone can tell that he's a pompous fool who'd sleep with anything with a skirt on. He's way too forward, that one. Never could stand him. Never mind that he's in my department in the Ministry and is one of the brightest Aurors of his year. He's bad news, I tell you, bad news. That's why I decided I had to protect you from him. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the fact that I saw the two of you so deep in conversation that I felt something well up inside me. Some might call it jealousy. Jealousy. What an ugly word. I'd like to call it bravery.Â

I may have been a little crude when I went up to you. To be honest with you, I was just glad I could walk. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I wasn't even sure what I was doing in the first place. Memories of Hogwarts and protecting you just instilled themselves in me. Now I know you don't really need to be protected. Hell, you scare me, just a bit. But I felt like I had to do something, or I would have exploded and ruined everyone's evening.

I decided on your name. It's utterly and completely yours, after all. It's perfect.

"Hermione." (Your name. Wonderful start, that.)

"H-Harry." (You looked surprised to see me, like you didn't know what to say. Ha! I had rendered the great Hermione Granger speechless. Well, it was just as well, as i didn't have anything to say either.)

"James." (Look at the fool, standing there. If there weren't so many people present I may just have to...)

"Mr. Potter." (Ugh. He's too polite. Obviously trying to get alone with you. Well that's not going to happen.)

"Enjoying yourselves? May I borrow Hermione for a second? We haven't spoken in a while. Yes? Thank you."

Now I don't know exactly what I was thinking when I grabbed your wrist and dragged you out of there, other than the fact that you became a bit flustered and hadn't said a word since my name. Now, I wasn't sure if you were building up your anger to throw at me later, or if you were simply speechless. I decided on the former and decided to apparate us to a place where we could have a little more privacy, mainly so if you decided to hex me into oblivion, no innocent bystanders would be caught in the crossfire.

I was right. As soon as we landed in the park next to my flat, you began thinking. You're eyes got that debating look, and I was sure that you were debating whether to lecture me first, then hex me, or to hex me first then lecture. I was hoping it would be the first.

You began to talk. I stopped listening after "Harry James Potter! What did you think you were doing?" I began to notice, instead, your hair, windblown and wild. I always did like it that way. And your eyes, that deep amber. What I wouldn't give to see them sparkle with happiness again? How long has it been? Ahh....you were still going on about something, but as I thought, I realized that I had a lot of questions for you, the one who has been ignoring me. I wondered why you were yelling at me, when it should have been me who was yelling at you. I began to feel more righteous, more brave. Maybe that was the alcohol again, but it didn't matter. I was angry at being left out. So I said the first thing that came into my mind.

"Hermione! Will you shut up a second? I should be the one asking the questions. Where have you been for the last three years? Why haven't you answered any of my owls? Why weren't you there when I needed you? Aren't I your best friend? What about all we've been through? Doesn't that mean anything to you? WHY, IN THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU BEEN IGNORING ME?"

You looked a little lost after that speech, so I decided to soldier on before you began hexing me.

"Listen, Mione. I missed you, a lot more than you know. It's hard having a best friend for some seven years and then suddenly having her disappear. Do you know how many times I tried to find you? No one seemed to know where you had gone. I knew you were in the Ministry. I knew you were connected with the healers in some way or another, but every time I tried to look for you, I came up empty handed. I was Harry-Bloody-Potter, for Merlin's sake. I thought i deserved to at least know where my best friend was. But again, no one would tell me and -"

You weren't listening to me. I could tell. I'm sure I've had that expression on my face a thousand times during History of Magic. I was pouring my heart out to you and you weren't even listening! I did the only thing I could think of at the moment (I seem to be doing lots of that lately). I grabbed your shoulders and shook.

"Hermione! Are you listening to me? Can you understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

That seemed to wake you up. I was out of breath. Making speeches takes a lot out of a guy. It's hard enough being out of breath, but having your breath taken away from you again because the girl, no, the woman you've been in love with for so long is looking in your eyes. Well, that's a bit much.Â

I was towering over you. Well, I mean, not towering, but we were close. I could see every one of your eyelashes. Your cheeks, flushed. Your lips. Oh those lips. I couldn't concentrate for a minute. I'm going to have to start concentrating around you, or I don't know what will become of me. But you see, when I stop concentrating, the most delightful things happen. Suddenly, those wonderful lips were on mine.

You kissed me.

And I kissed you back.

AN: AH! I thought I was going to move forward with this chapter, but I started writing and and I ended up here. Well, one must await to see what happens with Hermione's misgivings, I suppose. I really don't like being evil. It just comes to me. =P