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What I Always Wanted

Chapter 4: Two Weeks

It had been a week since Hermione had found out that she was pregnant. Seven long days of staring into space wondering how in the name of Merlin she had been so careless as to get herself into the mess she was presently in. One hundred and sixty-eight hours of wondering how she was going to manage being someone's Mum. Ten thousand eighty minutes of floundering between amazed wonder and horrifying terror at the fact that a tiny life was growing inside her with each breath that she took. Six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds of fretting over how she was going to tell Harry that he was going to be a father. As things presently stood Harry had no idea about Hermione's pregnancy.

She'd had every intention of telling Harry about her visit to St. Mungos and the shocking results of the diagnosis. In fact once she had collected her thoughts and settled on what she thought was the best course of action she had promptly apparated over to Harry's flat to deliver the news. However, upon arriving she found Harry tossing clothes into his auror's pack randomly. As he looked up from his task and saw her standing there Harry wasted no time in telling Hermione all about the meeting he'd had with his superiors about the report he'd submitted concerning the diary they'd been trying to work out for the past eight months. Harry told her how Chief Minister Artaxerxes had seen the merit in his way of thinking and was sending Harry's squadron along with Tonks' and Kingsley's squads to Greece to investigate what appeared to be the same sort of dark activity as had been seen in Transylvania, Romania and Yugoslavia.

Hermione and Harry had been able to figure out the meaning of all the symbols but the final five that had turned up in all the pictures. And while she'd had no luck thus far in figuring what those symbols meant it was clear that they were very dark magic. The twosome had come to the conclusion that whomever was dabbling with magic this sinister was clearly a serious threat. Harry was certain that it was connected to some mental wizard with delusions of becoming the next Voldemort, possibly one of his former flunkies who'd managed to escape capture. Hermione was unsure who was behind the matter but whoever it was, was not the sort that one needed to be preoccupied when dealing with. It was this fact that made her keep her mouth shut and say nothing about her pregnancy. The last thing she wanted was to cause Harry to lose his focus when he was off on a mission. Hermione's thoughts drifted to Harry and what she would do if something happened to him just now. At the thought Hermione lost her focus and sliced through her finger with the knife she was using to peel sprouts for her mother. Jerking her hand back Hermione swore under her breath as she sucked at the blood oozing from the cut on her finger.

At the sound of her daughter using profanity in her presence Helen Granger looked towards Hermione. Upon seeing her with her finger in her mouth Helen snatched up one of the towels on the rack above the sink and rushed over to assist her only child.

"Hermione are you alright? Are you hurt badly?"

Helen pulled Hermione's index finger from her mouth and inspected the cut. Wrapping the towel around Hermione's profusely bleeding hand she exclaimed.

"Good heavens Hermione…hold still while I get something to mop you up!"

As her mother bustled around the kitchen trying to fit the emergency aid kit she always kept handy Hermione called out over her shoulder.

"No need to fret Mum…I'll take care of it myself."

That said Hermione pulled out her wand and muttered a quick healing spell over her cut hand. Helen turned around in time to see the cut closing and healing itself instantly. Closing the cupboard she'd been rummaging through Helen Granger turned to face her daughter and asked her.

"Hermione is everything alright?"

Helen Granger crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor as she stared at her daughter and waited for an answer to her question. Hermione hastily looked up and nodded her head as she mumbled.

"Yes Mum I'm fine it was just a little nick, nothing to worry about."

Hermione managed to give her mother a smile before turning her attention back to the mess she'd made of the sprouts she was peeling. Helen shook her head. She hadn't been asking Hermione about her cut hand. She had actually been referring to her strange behavior of late. Over the course of the last few weeks Helen had noticed that Hermione often seemed preoccupied and unfocused. She also noted that Hermione had become uncharacteristically maladroit. She was constantly dropping things and injuring herself. And though Hermione wasn't the most graceful thing on two legs she was no klutz either. Even her temper was out of sorts. Lately the simplest statement could send her off into a towering temper. Deciding that her husband stood a better chance of getting through to their daughter Helen exited the kitchen and made her way into the lounge where Robert Granger was watching a football match. Stopping at the side of the couch she lowered her voice as she spoke to her husband.

"Robert I want you to have a talk with Hermione."

Robert Granger looked up from the television at his wife and raising an eyebrow responded by saying.

"What exactly do you want me to talk to her about?"

Helen quickly sat down beside her husband and hurriedly relayed the incident that had just taken place in the kitchen. She went on to add the other things she'd noticed about Hermione that had her concerned. As she spoke Robert had to agree that he too had noticed the rather erratic behavior of his daughter. When she come over that morning she had popped into the foyer and knocked over the coat rack. And while that in itself was not really a big deal the fact that she'd seemed not to notice was not typical of his methodical Hermione. Reaching over and patting his wife's clasped hands he reassured her.

"Not to worry dear I'll have a word with her and get to the bottom of things straight away."

Robert Granger grabbed the remote and snapped off the telly before calling Hermione into the room.

"Poppet, would you come here please."

Robert and Helen waited patiently as they heard the scraping of a chair against the floor and the sound of foot falls coming down the hallway. Hermione knew the moment she stepped into the room that something was amiss. Her parents were seated on the couch and they'd left a space between them. Whenever her Mum and Dad wanted to speak with her about something they assumed this position on the couch. Swallowing and pasting what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face she said.

"Yes Daddy."

Robert Granger returned his daughter's smile and patted the empty space between himself and his wife. Hermione crossed the room and dropped into the empty space between her parents. Her father took her hand in his and giving it a reassuring squeeze said.

"Poppet, your Mum and I have been talking and we are a bit worried about you. You have not seemed quite like yourself lately. And we just wanted to know if everything was alright."

Hermione feigned ignorance and replied in what she prayed sounded like a natural voice.

"Everything's fine."

Helen Granger cut in immediately.

"Hermione Jane Granger everything is most certainly not fine. Scarcely ten minutes ago you nearly lobbed off your own finger and you very nearly knocked yourself senseless when you arrived earlier and banged into the coat rack. Not to mention all the mindless staring you've been up to lately and your complete inability to focus. Something is obviously wrong and I'd like to know what it is right now."

Helen's tone brooked no arguments; it was the same matter-of-fact, no-nonsense tone Hermione was known to use when she wanted immediate answers. Hermione had never lied to her parents directly and she didn't intend to start at this late date. But she couldn't bring herself to tell them about her current predicament, at least not before she spoke to Harry. Sighing heavily Hermione opened her mouth and spoke in a shaky voice.

"Honestly Mum and Dad I am really fine. I've just had a lot on my mind lately so I suppose I been acting a touch wonky."

Robert and Helen Granger studied their daughter carefully as they waited for her to tell them more about what was occupying so much of her thought process. Sensing that she had them nearly convinced Hermione rambled on.

"Things have just been so busy at work. It seems that I'm the only person in the department actually working half the time. And while Daphne is enthusiastic and a hard worker she is just learning. Then there's this diary I've been working on for Harry…I just about have it all sussed out except the last part and Harry's off working on this bloody case and I'm certain the part that's missing is important and he'll need to know what it means to suss out what's happening in Greece and…"

Robert Granger squeezed his daughter's hand as he interjected.

"So that's what has you all turned around…you're worrying over Harry!"

Hermione looked up at her father slightly wide-eyed and blurted out.

"What?!"

Robert smiled at his daughter as he repeated himself.

"You've worked yourself up into a state over Harry being away on this mission."

Hermione responded without giving her answer much thought.

"Of course I worry over Harry when he's away…I always have but I'm not…"

Robert cut across his daughter's words and in his most reassuring voice said.

"I understand that Harry's job is dangerous and I know that you have always been there to help and guide him through these trials. And I can imagine that it must be difficult with him being away so much and you not being able to help him but you mustn't worry yourself so much. I'm positive that Harry is just fine, from what you've always said he is more than capable of taking care of himself and I don't doubt that he'll be home any day now none the worse for wear. Now then I want you to promise me that you'll try not to worry so."

Hermione pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth and chewed it briefly before she nodded her head and gave her word that she'd try not to worry needlessly over Harry anymore. Satisfied that he'd gotten to the heart of things Robert Granger kissed his daughter on the cheek and grabbing the remote flipped the television back on. Hermione excused herself and went back into the kitchen. She'd tossed the sprout peelings into the rubbish bin and wiped off the kitchen table before her mother appeared in the doorway.

"There's more to your strange behavior than your worrying over Harry isn't there?"

At the sound of her mother's questioning voice Hermione looked up from her cleaning of the kitchen and blinked owlishly as she tried to think of a suitable way to avoid to her mum's query. After several seconds that felt like years Hermione gave up trying to evade the question, she flumped down into the chair she'd been standing beside and replied with a solemn "Yes".

Helen Granger stepped completely into the room and took the seat opposite her daughter. She reached across the table and clasped her only child's hand in her own and asked.

"Did you and Harry have a row before he left?"

Hermione shook her head.

"No Mum its nothing as bad as that. I just…I've been doing a lot of thinking about things lately and I'm just not sure what's next."

Helen folded her lips together and nodded.

"I see…your biological clock has finally started to tick loud enough to catch your attention and you've begun considering how you want to spend the rest of your life and Harry's place in it."

Hermione had to stop herself from grabbing her stomach and informing her mother that her biological clock wasn't ticking; that it had in fact struck the hour letting her know that her hour of reckoning was at hand. Instead Hermione kept her expression passive and listened as her mother spoke.

"Its natural for you to start having those thoughts about how you want to spend the rest of your life. You've established yourself in your career and unlike most girls your age you've already faced down your own mortality. All of that Dark Lord business you went through at Hogwarts taught you that life is far too short to waste."

Helen paused and watched as Hermione nodded her head in agreement to her mother's last statement.

"Why don't you take this time while Harry's away to suss out what you want to do. Once you figure that out sit down with him, share your thoughts and find out what he wants for the future. Then when you've both expressed yourselves fully you'll know exactly where to take things."

As she took in her mother's suggestions and realized the soundness of the idea Hermione felt as though a great load had been lifted off her shoulders. Her mum was absolutely right. She needed to decide what she wanted. Hermione smiled the first true smile to grace her face in over a week as she reached across the table and hugged her mother as she said.

"Thanks Mum, you always know exactly what I need."

Helen smiled as she kissed her daughter's cheek and answered back by saying.

"That's what mother's are for dear, that's what mother's are for."

It had been two weeks since Hermione had found out that she was pregnant. Fourteen endless days of wondering why in the name of Merlin this had happened to her at this particular moment in her life. Three hundred thirty six hours of examining how she would manage her career as an unspeakable along with motherhood. Twenty thousand one hundred sixty minutes of imagining her parent's reactions to the news that they were about to be grandparents. One million two hundred nine thousand six hundred seconds of worrying over Harry's reaction to the news that he was about to become a father. Two weeks after finding out she was pregnant Hermione very nearly had as many questions as she'd had when she first received the news. The only thing she knew for certain was that the idea that she was indeed going to be a mother had grown on her over the past two weeks and there was not much question in here mind as to what she was going to do so much as how she was going to do it.

As she and Paige sat at a back booth in the Leaky Cauldron enjoying a lunch of fish and chips Hermione had to admit that she felt much better now that she had reached a decision concerning her own thoughts on the subject. Now that she'd made up her own mind she was sure she could handle whatever everyone else thought. Extricating herself from her own thoughts Hermione focused her attention on Paige who was staring at her appraisingly and asked.

"What…do I have food on my face?"

Paige shook her head.

"No you haven't got food on your face. I was just wondering how you're really doing. The last time we spoke you were a bit out of sorts."

Paige briefly halted her discourse and Hermione's thoughts drifted to the visit she'd received from Paige three days after she had found out about her pregnancy. Paige had come by her flat after work to check on her and to give her the names of several healers who specialized in treating expectant witches. Hermione was in a state over Harry's sudden departure; the news that Paige could not treat her had distressed her so much that she had gone into another panic attack. Hermione was pulled from her ruminations by the sound of Paige's voice.

"I was really worried about how you were handling things after the last visit we had."

Hermione shook her head and with a hint of a chuckle in her voice said.

"Yes I imagine that you were indeed worried considering the way I fell apart. You must have thought me dreadfully pathetic…not at all up to my normal standard."

Paige smiled.

"You took it a damn sight better than I would have but from all I'd heard it seemed largely out of character for you. So I was more than a little shocked to hear that you'd made an appointment to see Healer O'Halleran."

Hermione nodded.

"Well I had a chance to do a good bit of thinking after our last talk and I realized that I couldn't continue on acting like a silly twit. I had decisions to make and once I made them I knew I had to see a healer straight away. And since I couldn't have you as my healer I had to go with the next best option."

"If I dealt specifically with expectant witches I would have gladly taken you on but as I don't I thought you deserved someone trained especially in the area. Megan is really wonderful at her job and I'm sure you'll get the best treatment possible."

Hermione sipped her pumpkin juice then replied.

"She has been brilliant so far…very through, amazingly understanding and exceedingly discreet. The fact that she has offices outside of St. Mungos is a definite plus."

Paige nodded.

"Obviously you've decided to have the baby then."

"Yes."

"The last time we spoke you weren't sure what you were going to do…what helped you make up your mind?"

Paige asked her question then popped a chip into her mouth and chewed slowly as she awaited an answer. Hermione popped a piece of cod into her mouth and talking around it answered back with.

"Oddly enough it was a conversation with my Mum."

Paige looked stunned.

"You told your mum you were pregnant…I thought you wanted to tell Harry first."

Hermione waved her hands in front of herself and hastily replied.

"I'd hardly be sitting here right now if I'd told my Mum I was pregnant. She and my Dad would have hauled me off to Greece to find Harry and make an honest woman out of me."

The two women shared a laugh at the image of Hermione's very muggle parents forcing the most powerful wizard in Great Britain to marry their daughter. After the moment passed Paige asked.

"So how exactly did your mother help you if you didn't exactly tell her what was going on?"

"Believe it or not she simply gave me some motherly advice. She'd noticed my odd behavior and she and my Dad sat me down to find out what was wrong. Mum figured out somehow that I was struggling with my future with Harry. She told me that I should figure out what I wanted and then see what Harry wanted and go from there."

Paige interjected.

"And you realized that you wanted to have the baby."

Hermione nodded.

"Once I thought about it I realized that I really do want to have this baby. I'm not sure what kind of mother I'll be but…"

Paige cut in again.

"I think you're going to make a smashing mother."

Hermione smiled her thanks for Paige's encouraging words. Paige posed another question.

"Have you given any thought to how Harry will react?"

Hermione chuckled dryly.

"Honestly I haven't thought about much else…"

Hermione paused for a moment and interpreting the look on Paige's face said.

"I've run through every possible scenario in my mind and I still can't be sure how Harry will react to the news."

Hermione nearly feel off her seat as she waited for Paige to respond and instead of hearing Paige's voice Harry's baritone caressed her ears as he asked.

"And exactly what news would I be reacting to?

A/N: I'm back!! I hope this chapter is what you guys were waiting for. Its shorter than I anticipated but I think it covers things rather well. Either good or bad I know you guys will let me know what you think so until next chapter….Happy Reading!!!

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