Chapter Five
Secrets and Lies
A low fire crackled in the grate of the Gryffindor common room.
Watching the embers, Harry and Hermione sat side by side in two squashy armchairs, having spent the morning in relative silence. After getting ready and having a breakfast in the common room they were sat there both lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Hermione spoke.
"So… Do you think you… read my thoughts?" She didn't meet his eyes and he noticed a slight flush on her cheeks as she looked at the ground.
"I think so" he ventured. "I don't know. I heard you speak, but I know… your lips weren't moving." He felt his own cheeks warm a little, suddenly remembering how he'd been studying her.
She nodded and spoke, almost to herself. "Legilimency. It's all falling into place." He shifted uncomfortably and she reached an arm out to touch him.
"Harry, you need to remember that you're not him. You never have been and you never will be. This is happening and yes it's frightening, but you're still you, okay?" She reached up and touched her fingers to his hair in an unconscious gesture. "You'll be okay."
He closed his eyes at her touch but said nothing.
Together they made their way to the Headmaster's office, only to be disappointed again as the gargoyle had been repaired and they had no password. Harry was nervous about meeting up with any of the other people at Hogwarts but Hermione talked him round, telling him he couldn't just sit and dwell on it all day. They ended up spending a busy morning with Luna and Neville at the Greenhouses, helping Professor Sprout replace glass and repot plants that had been damaged by the rampaging giants.
The next few days passed quickly, all of them being kept occupied by the repairs throughout the school and the grounds. Harry was amazed how quickly everything was returning to its original state - and in some places better, but Hermione reminded him that the school, with it's own magic was repairing a lot of the damage itself. The four House hourglasses were now twice as tall with magnificent carved details along the top and bottom of each glass and the stones within were all double their previous size, each one roughly as big as a Snitch.
Dumbledore remained frustratingly absent and Harry's resentment grew by the day, although he'd had no more incidents of reading anyone's thoughts. He thought perhaps that was because he so desperately didn't want to, didn't want to have any more in common with Voldemort.
Sitting down to lunch next to Hermione and Luna in the Great Hall the day before the opening feast, he reflected that he was speaking less with Hermione each day and he pretty much avoided eye contact with her altogether. She was surprisingly fine with this - though he couldn't blame her, she didn't want anyone invading her thoughts, and who would? But she still stayed close to him, still sought his hand for him in his weaker moments, when he was tired or wasn't concentrating.
He was infinitely grateful but he'd neglected to tell her that he had actually started practicing controlling the sensation, when he was alone in the bathroom or anywhere, letting himself hover a few inches off the ground before bringing himself down again. That however, wasn't the only secret he was keeping from her.
He had only barely admitted to himself that he was spending every day looking forward to going to bed at night. No matter how much he tried to deny it, his thoughts often wandered ahead to the moment they would lie quietly together to sleep.
Neither of them had spoken about it, but they had taken to lying every night, as they had the night of the funeral, her body pressed into his side, their linked hands resting on his chest. Last night they had lain awake, silent in the darkness for a long time before finding sleep. Intertwining their fingers in the dark, Hermione's thumb found the remnants of Umbridges' cruel punishment, the raised scar on the back of his hand - and she lightly traced the words I must not tell lies until Harry slept.
Pushing his guilt ridden thoughts to the back of his mind, he tuned in to the conversation at the table. Apparently, McGonagall had told them all to go to Hogsmede this afternoon and take some well earned time off- have a look around the newly opening shops, and perhaps pick up something to wear to the dance, a suggestion popular with all the girls at the table. Hermione nudged him and he glanced at her quickly then back at his plate.
"You wanna go?"
He shrugged, still not meeting her eyes but knowing that they were hopeful, and so, though he didn't want to go at all, he agreed. "Okay."
An hour later he found himself walking down the High Street of Hogsmede with Neville, Luna and Hermione, the girls opting to pull them in to Gladrags Wizardwear. He sat reluctantly in a chair against a dusty mirror as the others looked around at the range of robes and muggle clothes on display. Luna came whirling out of the dressing room in a relatively sedate creation, a lilac coloured dress with a train and flowing sleeves that almost reached the ground. The colour looked pretty on her and he told her so, extracting a small smile. Neville came out looking like a tall but dashing penguin in a black dress robe with a white under collar and bow tie. With a sigh Harry stood up, realizing he should make some sort of effort and wandered over to the menswear section.
He stopped in his tracks as Hermione was pushed reluctantly out of the dressing room by a determined Luna. She had on a strapless cobalt blue dress in an intricate fabric, fitted and floor length. Shyly she examined her reflection, glancing at him for his opinion as she ran her hands over her waist.
"What do you think?"
He didn't trust himself to answer as his mouth had gone dry. Nodding and shoving his hands in his pockets he looked at the floor.
"It's nice" he said quietly.
She looked at the mirror again critically. "I don't know… it's a bit much maybe. It's too expensive anyway" she said as she turned and made her way back to the dressing room.
"I'll get it for you" he called out without thinking. She turned around and stared at him. "I mean… I'd like to get it for you. If you want."
She smiled a little then shook her head. "No, I couldn't let you" she said honestly.
"No really, please. It's the least I can do for you." He stepped forward and took her hand, holding her arm out and looking down at her with mock criticism. "I s'pose you look alright in it" he teased to break the tension and she shoved him playfully.
Neville walked back at that moment and breathed out audibly. "Wow Hermione… you look…Wow."
Harry smiled. "Yeah you do."
Turning back into the dressing room he saw her barely hidden smile.
He gave in to Luna and Hermione's pressure to get himself a new suit too, in more of a muggle style, but he refused a neck tie of any sort, just opting for a white shirt. A plain black dress robe fitted over it nicely and he paid, despite Hermione and the others continually objecting, for all of their new clothes.
They spent a lazy afternoon wandering from shop to shop; most of the old shops reopened now, and Harry couldn't help but feel his spirits lift seeing the place coming to life again. The Post Office seemed to be receiving a decent number of owls now, probably the best sign that the wizarding community was becoming active again after the horrors of the war. They were warmly welcomed at The Three Broomsticks by Madame Rosmerta and after drinking the Butterbeers she insisted were on the house, they strolled back up to the gates of Hogwarts, sharing some Cauldron Cakes and Peppermint Humbugs they'd bought from Honeydukes. Laughing with Luna and Neville, Harry glanced across to Hermione and gave her a small smile and she grinned back, looping her arm through his.
That night, everyone ate dinner in the common rooms as the Great Hall was being decorated for the dance the following night. Luna came into the Gryffindor common room to eat with Harry, Neville and Hermione, along with Seamus who had just arrived. His bruised face was improving somewhat but he'd come a day earlier to see if Madam Pomfrey could speed things along for the dance.
Luna stayed around till late, well after both Neville and Seamus had gone to bed and he noticed Hermione's eyelids getting heavy as the three of them sat talking around the fire. The tiredness he felt himself was being kept slightly at bay by the butterflies in his stomach, though he tried hard to ignore them. He knew they were caused by his anticipation of going to bed and he did his best to push away the thought, rubbing his eyes hard.
Opening them again, he discovered his vision had turned milky, just making out Luna's fair hair as she sat cross legged in front of the fire. He tried closing and opening them once more but instead found he was only seeing black, and then slowly, two figures came into focus. With a start he realised he was looking at himself and Hermione, sitting on the armchairs.
His body felt suddenly and extremely relaxed, at complete ease, a wonderful feeling. He looked from himself to Hermione and a voice sounded loud in his ear - Luna's voice. "I wonder if he realises about Hermione yet. It would be just like Harry not to realise." His heart swelled with affection - for Hermione and himself, a compassion he vaguely recognised must be his experience of Luna's feelings for them. This recognition began to bring him back to himself a little and the image started to fade, but not before he noticed, with a jolt of terror that he was watching himself rising slowly up out of the chair as if unconscious.
Crashing back violently into his own mind he spun to look down from his elevated height at Hermione, her face now devoid of sleepiness as she sat straight up and thrust her hand at his arm, grabbing his forearm with first one arm and then the other. Settling himself back into the chair they both turned their heads with horrified expressions to look at a beaming Luna.
"I knew something was happening with you two." She sat up on her knees and clapped her hands together. "When did you start doing that!' She directed her last comment at Harry with unbridled excitement.
Harry caught his breath back and looked sideways at Hermione who shrugged. "Uh, just a few days."
"That's really great Harry." Luna said with enthusiasm.
He shook his head. "It's not that great actually - not when I can't control it."
But Luna wouldn't be deterred. "No, it is Harry -it's really lucky. Only the most blessed get to fly." She stared off for a moment and then added. "…Or the most evil."
Harry looked affronted by her latest revelation but Hermione leaned forward, interested. "What do you mean?"
"Well, my father says that to fly you must be full of love and luck. There is some sort of flying you can achieve by dark magic, but that does a lot of damage." She was staring at Harry with the same awe he'd seen her use while looking at Thestrals and he felt a bit odd again. "It's a fantastic thing to be able to do" she finished, with a note of pride in her voice.
They talked a bit longer, Hermione apparently trying to glean any more information Luna might be able to provide on the subject but nothing seemed particularly significant. Luna left after a while, her excitement still plain to see but she'd given her assurances she wouldn't tell anyone. As she stepped through the portrait Hermione turned to look at Harry.
"Well, at least we've got someone else to help us now."
He nodded and they moved back over to the chairs. "That's not the only thing that happened there though" he said.
She tilted her head and little. "What do you mean?"
He told her about his trip into Luna's mind, though, he wasn't sure why, but he decided to leave out exactly what he'd heard her say. Thinking about it again, he went over Luna's words in his head. It would be just like Harry not to realise. Not to realise what? His exhausted mind couldn't begin to grasp the pieces floating around and he distractedly tuned back in to Hermione.
"…if you were feeling what she was feeling then that's Legilimency alright." She frowned, frustrated. "Maybe I should go down to the library and get some books on it…"
Harry shook his head. "It's too late Hermione, you'll be up all night. You need to get some sleep for tomorrow."
Tomorrow. The word hung in the air between them as they looked at each other.
"What are we going to do tomorrow Harry?"
He didn't need to read her mind to know that she was talking about Ron and Ginny. The thought of them arriving tomorrow had been prodding at him all night too. He saw her working herself up to say something and shook his head before she could speak.
"No, I don't want to tell them, not yet." Even as he said it, he wasn't exactly sure why.
She looked down at her feet. "We're going to have to tell them at some point."
"I know."
They stood in silence for a moment then Hermione gently touched his hand. "Will you be alright?" She motioned to the girls dorm and he nodded. She turned to go and get ready for bed and he fought to suppress the thrill that flowed through him for a moment. Sitting himself back in the chair he closed his eyes and rested his head.
She wasn't gone long and then they were climbing the stairs, being especially quiet tonight, aware of Seamus' presence now. Neville's rhythmic snores rang out through the dark room but Seamus had no such affliction and Hermione's body was tense under the cloak as they tried to keep as quiet as possible.
Settling in to bed in the dark, Harry felt an almost painful sense of relief as he drew his arms around her, not even able to deny to himself that he had been craving the comfort of her closeness. Lying on her side facing away from him, he reached to hold both of her hands as she settled her back against his chest. He breathed in the smell of her hair and she ran her fingers along his arms encircling her, finding and tracing the scar on his hand once again.
They woke the next morning in the same position, lying awake for some time before getting up.
After a breakfast in the common room they made their way with Neville to Ravenclaw Tower to pick up Luna. Still two floors down from the corridor, Harry recognised a section that he'd done repair work on with Hermione, fixing torches that McGonagall had blasted off the wall in her encounter with Snape.
Suddenly he stopped dead in his tracks. Turning to his right he saw a classroom and remembered fixing a smashed window…
"Hermione…"
She turned and looked at him, frowning at the frozen expression on his face. "What is it?"
"Snape. That night with McGonagall. How could I have forgotten?"
"Forgotten what?" Hermione asked, puzzled.
"He flew. He ran, jumped out that window and he flew." His insides started to turn hot and an intense anger began to build. "And he told us he didn't know anything about it." Hermione took a step toward him but he'd already turned to make his way to the Headmasters office.
Leaving Neville they ran down the corridors, reaching the stone gargoyle in record time. The newly repaired gargoyle stood erect in front of the door and Harry hurled several passwords at it- with no result. Hermione stood in thought as Harry paced around in agitation then went up to the statue and spoke clearly.
"Shortbread"
Immediately the gargoyle sprang to life and leapt aside, Hermione grabbing a stunned Harry's hand and dragging him through the split wall to the stairs. "McGonagall's favourite biscuit" she said to his unanswered question. Reaching the polished oak door Harry pushed it and stepped in.
Snape was half in his portrait, his lank black hair hanging forward but not far enough to cover his hooked nose.
"Snape!!" Harry barked at the frame, causing several of the other portraits to jump and turn at the disturbance.
Snape turned and stepped fully into the frame, regarding Harry with his black eyes but remaining silent.
"You lied to me" seethed Harry. "You know all about flying - I saw you do it! On the night of the battle- I saw you" he said accusingly.
Snape tilted his head back a little haughtily and folded his arms. "I didn't say I hadn't done it. I stand by the fact that Professor Dumbledore would explain it best."
Harry fumed at him, the familiar loathing from his years at Hogwarts returning in a flash. "I need help. I need some answers. Where the hell is he?" he shouted.
Snape didn't move. "He is helping the Ministry. I dare say that is more important than one student who is not in any danger. Believe it or not Potter there are things going on that do not involve you."
Harry's face fell and Hermione's arm on his was the only thing restraining his desire to rip the picture off the wall. Hermione spoke up beside him.
"Professor…we…."
"And I have other matters to attend to as well. Dumbledore will call for you when he is available." With a whirl of his cloaks he spun and strode out of the picture.
Hermione yanked Harry to look at her. "Well that was great Harry - we could have asked him about Legilimency, about everything - I didn't know you were going to just blow up at him!" He looked down at her flushed face and felt remorse creeping through the anger, he'd let his temper get the better of him. Lifting his hands to his face before resting them on top of his head he turned to the window and stared out at the distant mountains.
"I'm sorry" he said as he leaned against the sill. She came up behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders.
"Come on." They left to the muttering of some of the portraits, obviously disapproving of Harry's outburst. Without conferring they both headed to Gryffindor common room, knowing they needed some time out. As they stepped through the portrait hole Harry squeezed Hermione's hand in another silent apology.
"So, there you are."
They both looked up to see Ron, standing next to the chair in which Ginny was sitting, regarding them quietly.
~*~