Disclaimer; I didn't write/don't own the song featured in this chapter either - it's You and Me by Lifehouse. (there's some good H/Hr vids on youtube that feature this song.
Chapter 7
Something About You
The Great Hall had really outdone itself tonight - a wide and clear starry sky twinkled above with hundreds of floating silver candles moving around just above everyone's heads. Long swathes of silver fabric were fastened to the walls, and rippled gently upwards seeming to stretch up endlessly as they reached out into the middle of the room. Fountains spaced down the middle of the hall shot glitter into the air that dissolved as it hit the ground and music played in the background, though band equipment was set up on the raised platform where the staff table usually was.
They mingled in with the crowd, staying close together as they walked to the food tables, Ron loading up a plate from the impressive spread set between glowing ice sculptures. Harry relaxed a little as he recognized familiar faces, Ernie McMillan in what looked like a new set of yellow and black dress robes, Hannah Abbott and some familiar Hufflepuffs sipping Butterbeers and laughing. The Patil twins were looking gorgeous in pink and greeted them all with warm hugs; Ginny wasted little time in steering them away to another table. Luna glided up to them in her lilac dress but with an added headdress of white and purple feathers that had Ron raising his eyebrows but Harry thought it actually suited her.
The four of them were definitely drawing more than the average amount of attention, which made Harry uncomfortable. But Ron seemed to be reveling in it and Ginny taking it in her stride. Hermione was a different story.
She was uncharacteristically quiet, but it seemed only Harry noticed, Ron was busy talking or eating or joking around with Seamus and Dean.
She smiled at something they said and then turned and walked away, her smile vanishing in an instant. Her eyes looked haunted and they stirred something in him that crumbled his resolve to stay away. Stepping away from Ginny as she spoke with Padma and Luna he mumbled something about getting a drink and weaved through the crowd towards a tall ice sculpture of a swan, spying the distinctive blue of Hermione's dress glinting through the transparent centerpiece.
Ducking around to where she was standing he approached her as she stood facing away from him, appearing to be watching the room from her vantage point. "Hey."
She visibly jumped and twisted around, taken off guard.
"Hi" she said, with a brief attempt at a smile. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah" he replied, watching her closely. "Are you?"
"What do you mean?" She looked surprised and slightly put out.
"Are you mad at me?"
Her expression changed instantly from annoyance to almost amusement. "No… Harry, why would I be mad at you?"
He shrugged. "Just …what I told Ron and Ginny." He shifted uncomfortably. "Or rather… what I didn't tell them."
She blushed profusely and he wanted to smile at how attractive it was but kept still while he waited.
"No… I think you did the right thing." She stared at her clasped hands and he had the odd sensation that they were speaking a multitude of words with every breath, and every silence. She caught his gaze and held it. "I just don't know what we're going to do now."
His eyes traveled unconsciously to her mouth and a wave of something uncontrollable hit him. He ran his hands through his hair.
"I don't know either." She looked worried and he reached out to lay a hand on her bare shoulder. "Don't worry. We'll work something out."
She nodded and stepped a little closer to him, looking up into his face. They stood like that for a moment before noticing the music had stopped and all heads were turning to the front of the room. Harry glanced past the sculpture to see Ginny craning her neck looking for him. He squeezed Hermione's shoulder. "Come on, we better go"
Professor McGonagall had stepped up in front of the band equipment, along with most of the teachers, to say a short speech, welcoming students back and giving special mention to those who had been there helping to rebuild Hogwarts. She gave a few practical notices, explaining that any who were staying tonight had to make sure they had handed in their signed permission slips or gained approval from their heads of House. The next day would be an orientation day of sorts, each house being informed of any changes to their classes or teachers. Harry wondered vaguely who would take over Defence of the Dark Arts.
"But before we begin a celebration of a new beginning to not only our school, but our wider world, it is fitting that we acknowledge the many - far too many - students, teachers, and friends of the school who gave their lives in what will always be known as the Battle of Hogwarts. Let their sacrifice remind you of your responsibility to use the skills you learn at this school in a wise and just fashion." She held up her wand and the hundreds of candles dimmed and ceased moving as she instigated a moments silence before the dance began.
The hush that descended over the Hall unnerved Harry. He looked to Ron who was staring up at the ceiling, focusing steadily on the stars in the rafters. Ginny, standing next to him dropped her head and he placed an arm around her shoulder. Then his gaze fell to Hermione in the silence and he felt an intense sadness at the look on her face, she was staring into the distance, her face a mask of devastation. He frowned at the sight of her pain as she glanced up at him.
And then everything went black.
He opened his eyes to the same milky haze that had clouded his vision when he'd entered Luna's mind. Slowly a picture sharpened in front of him; hazy shadows of a group of people coming into focus. The tallest shadow was the first to make sense; he slowly recognized the bushy outline of Hagrid's hair and beard above the heads of all the others he was standing beside. With a start he identified the chalk white face of the figure standing just in front of Hagrid - Voldemort. It was then that he noticed that Hagrid was weeping over a body in his arms - him, Harry.
Blinking furiously Harry tried to clear the vision from his mind but it was no use. He wasn't yet sure whose thoughts he'd entered but he knew for sure it was a memory of the night of the battle and Harry could see himself, playing dead, surrounded by Deatheaters.
From his view of the scene he could tell he was looking out from the steps of Hogwarts. To his left and right he noted that Ginny and Ron were on either side of him -with a jolt he finally realised that he was in Hermione's position. He knew now he was in Hermione's head, and her memory with all its thoughts and feelings. Staring down at his own lifeless body in Hagrid's arms he heard, or rather felt, a horrible scream, an upsetting sound that poured so much emotion into one word.
"NO!"
The grief hit him with an almost physical force and he actually fought to keep his footing. Overwhelmed with a wave of anguish so intense he knew he nearly cried out, but he just managed to grasp a shred of control. The scream had been hers, said out loud, but next he heard her thoughts, just as clearly.
"Not Harry… He can't be dead. Please Harry don't be dead…"
The words rang in his ears, laced with heartbreaking agony.
"Don't be dead. I can't live without you. I can't live without you…"
And it was all clear to him in a split second. He felt her heart make a huge leap of realisation in that very moment. A picture show of memories assaulted him as they flew through her brain, all containing him, with Hermione, and her feelings in every moment came with it.
Flickers of his face as he woke up, surrounded by his Quidditch team after falling from his broom away from the Dementors, and her crushing relief that he was alive… Walking for hours around the lake with him, trying to work out the Triwizard task, looking up at him, feeling her heart pull with a glimmer of longing… Kissing him goodbye at Kings Cross and the confusion it caused her before she turned and walked away…Hearing his own voice, 'But I don't think you're ugly' and feeling the rush of happiness running through her body… Taking his hand as they stood together at his parents gravestones, her love for him so palpable, shining from within.
She loved him.
It was written clearly inside of her, she loved him to the very core of her being. Mingled in with feelings of doubt, guilt, and insecurity; conflicted feelings of duty and desire but through all of it, a love for him so complete he was awestruck by it.
A buzzing in his teeth signaled his journey back to consciousness and his vision slowly focused on his own shoes on the floor of the Hall.
Breath seemed to crash back into his lungs as he came back to himself and found he was bent over leaning heavily on his own knees though still standing. His head swirled with confused images and sounds, and he sensed Ginny leaning over him to his right, her hand on his back, whispering in his ear words he couldn't hear. Hands grasped him on both sides and he was slowly stood up again, looking down to his left it was Luna's eyes he saw.
"Harry." She was looking at him quite calmly and he focused on her, trying to calm his breathing. Becoming aware of faces turning towards him he looked around to Ginny as she tugged on his arm, a desperate look in her eyes.
"Harry… come on, Harry?" He looked down at her confused. He noticed everyone was looking at him then, from the students to the teachers on the stage - in particular, Professor Slughorn who was saying something and pointing directly at him.
He squinted in an effort to pick up his words.
"…so how about it Harry? Celebrate your victory over the Dark Lord and how proud of you we all are. Lead us all in the first dance with your lucky choice of partner dear boy!" Slughorn beamed at him through his walrus moustache, Professor McGonagall's disapproving gaze having no effect on the portly man's enthusiasm.
Before he had a chance to answer, the crowd clapped and cheered, and began to shift, moving away from the dance floor and clearing a path in front of him and Ginny. He felt fixed to the spot, and was almost surprised when Ginny was able to move him forward as she led him to the edge of the dance floor.
Time seemed to slow as he stepped on to the slightly raised dais and turned to face Ginny, his eyes scanning the room in a circle as he did. Faces floated by, all looking at him, smiling, approving, but he couldn't make out their features clearly. His hearing seemed to be fading again and looking down in to Ginny's face he noticed her lips moving but couldn't hear what she was saying.
Then the familiar whirl in his stomach began and his every sense leapt to attention. "No!" his mind screamed " Not here…" He shut his eyes tight and fought the sensation, focusing all his attention to his feet, desperate to stay grounded.
"Not here…" he said aloud, fighting harder now but feeling his feet tingle as they slowly rose. He opened his eyes in shock and grabbed for Ginny's shoulders pressing his palms against her skin. A wave of nausea overtook him as he realised he was still rising and he swayed into her, his vision blurring even more.
He felt a movement from Ginny and some muffled voices, and then he was swaying perilously by himself for a moment, hovering a few millimetres off the floor before being steadied by two hands on his wrists. Then his toes found the floor again, and slowly, very slowly his heels followed suit. He opened his eyes to see what was happening but his vision glowed brightly red and he squeezed them quickly shut again in fear. And then a voice rang softly in his head.
"It's okay Harry. I'm here. I've got you."
He tilted his head to listen, it was Hermione's voice.
"It's okay. Open your eyes."
Lowering his chin he tentatively opened his eyes. His sight was still tinged with red but he made out a very distinct blue, just in front of his chest. He allowed his eyes to travel slowly upward, to see Hermione standing in front of him, filling his vision.
"Harry." She spoke again and he saw her lips didn't move - realising suddenly that she was speaking to him through her thoughts. "Follow me."
He stared at her in confusion but let her take his hands, her small hands feeling warm in his palms. Their warmth spread through him, calming him, bringing back his sight and his hearing. The crowd was silent and still, but all faces were still on him. She squeezed his hands reassuringly as she stepped to the side and took him with her. As they moved he glimpsed several people just behind Hermione, Luna watching them serenely with a devastated looking Ginny at her side.
Vaguely he recognised music filtering in to his conscience and with a leap of dread he realised they were expected to dance. "Don't worry, just follow me." Hermione sent him the thought and he found it to be true- his arm found her waist and their feet moved together as if they had their own understanding, following each other slowly around the dance floor. Still lightheaded he leaned on her a little heavily; trying to steady himself, he focused on the music and the lyrics filtering through.
It's you and me
And all of the people
With nothing to do
Nothing to prove
He looked down into Hermione's eyes and she stared steadily back. Aware of everyone watching them he lowered his gaze to her collarbone, trying to quell the emotion swelling up inside of him. The memories and feelings that he'd just experienced on his trip into her mind came back to him, and the feel of them was still so fresh he didn't trust himself to look at her again. He bent his head next to hers a little more to shield his face, and closed his eyes as he caught the scent of perfume on her neck.
She moved them gracefully around the floor and he tried to gather himself, his excursion into her thoughts had taken too much out of him and he felt weak and vulnerable. Guilt at invading her private thoughts started to filter through, he felt he could assume that she didn't know he'd done it. But stronger was the memory of the love he'd felt from her, and the joy with which he had reacted to it. He pulled her closer.
And I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you
She turned her face towards him a little, trying to see his expression, trying to read him he realised. Then he couldn't stop his eyes from finding hers again, and though he knew the whole school was watching, though he knew Ron, and Ginny, were right there, he held her stare.
There's something about you now
That I can't quite figure out
His vision narrowed till all he could see was her. Of its own accord the hand that wasn't around her waist came up to touch her face, his fingertips lightly grazing her jaw. She stared up at him in astonishment, her eyes searching his as his hand continued to gently brush her cheek, his thumb lingering near her mouth.
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
He let his eyes fall on her lips, so very close now as his head dipped lower to her. Their faces were only inches apart and he could feel her breath coming quickly, her chest rising and falling against him - making him realise how close he was holding her. He wondered absently if she could feel his heart beating, the drumming against his chest was so fast now. He looked back into her eyes again as his hand moved to cup her face, and he knew he couldn't stop himself from kissing her any longer.
But Luna's white hair spun in the corner of his vision and with a jerk he became aware of the room again. Dragging his eyes up he saw Luna had pulled Neville on to the dance floor, starting the rest of the school off as couple after couple stepped on to the floor. Venturing a look further around, he saw Ginny standing where he'd left her, staring motionless at them, and just over her head a tall flash of red hair stalked away through the crowd.
He spun back to look down again at Hermione, realising his hand was still cupping her jaw. She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded as they were slowly surrounded by dancers. Her expression was unreadable as his hand slowly dropped from her face to her shoulder, and then she motioned to the door with her head. He swallowed hard and then nodded, and led her by hand off the dance floor.
Pressing through the crowd Harry avoided looking at anyone though faces were following them and he caught whispers as they hurried past.
"…Ginny Weasley, I thought they were together…"
"…I always knew something was going on there…"
"…Did you see Ron? Stormed out…"
He tried to block out the voices as he pushed his way through, his hand holding tight to Hermione's as she followed, pressed closely to his back. Arriving at the door his way was suddenly blocked by Seamus and Dean.
Seamus' face broke into a wild grin.
"Harry! That was… whoa." He clapped Harry on the shoulder and then looked around him to Hermione, beaming at her too. "I always wanted you guys to…"
"Did you see where Ron went?" Harry interrupted.
Seamus continued to grin dumbly and Dean spoke up.
"I don't know Harry. He didn't look happy."
Harry nodded and stepped past them, arriving in the Entrance Hall at the same time as Luna, followed by Ginny. He looked into Ginny's bewildered eyes and his instinct to find Ron faltered - what was he going to say? To either of them? He still held Hermione's hand and he knew now that he wasn't letting it go.
"The Common Room." He wasn't sure of anything at the moment, just that they had to get out, had to get away from this scene and that was the first place he thought of. The four of them climbed the stairs not speaking with Luna leading the way.
~*~