Chapter Nine
Into the Night
A lone shadow walked down the front steps of Hogwarts.
Light from the Great Hall's windows spilled in tall rectangles on to the lawn as the figure cut through them, passing by couples who had ventured out for a moonlit walk.
Hermione walked to the cliffs edge and stood looking out at the lake, wrapping her arms around herself to rub her bare skin vigorously - why she hadn't thought to bring a robe she didn't know. She just couldn't stay in the Hall… there had been too many questions, too many eyes watching her. She had gone back more to give herself something to do while she waited to hear from Harry - and had regretted it as soon as she entered. Heads bent in whispers and a group of girls who had parked themselves around Ginny glared at her as she passed them to join Luna and Neville.
The girls had supplied Ginny with Butterbeer and tissues all night, shooting daggers at Hermione any chance they got, particularly Romilda Vane who had somehow appointed herself chief support and stayed by Ginny's side, providing a steady commentary of her thoughts in Ginny's ear. Ginny didn't reply to any of them, just sat hunched in her chair, seemingly too stunned or sad to do anything but drink and wipe at stray tears.
Hermione had felt terrible. Ginny was like a sister to her, and look what she'd gone and done. She paused in thought.
What was it that she'd actually done?
She looked up to the dark sky and frowned. The last day had been a blur, she felt like she'd watched it all through a hazy pane of glass. Ron and Ginny coming back, Harry not telling them about the nights they'd spent…
Wrapped in each others arms.
A flutter assaulted her stomach and she looked at her feet, an irrepressible smile tainting her lips - although in the dark, by herself, she wasn't sure why she was trying to suppress it anyway. Just habit she guessed.
Her habit of pushing all her feelings for Harry as deep inside as possible, far enough down that sometimes even she couldn't detect them anymore. Lying to yourself was sometimes effective enough that you actually start believing. For a while at least. She folded her arms against the cold as she walked along the cliff's edge.
But even her, with all her practiced emotional control, couldn't deny that something had been happening with her and Harry this last week.
And she had welcomed it, she thought - a quick thrill of excitement breaking through the guilt as she recalled the new look she'd seen in his eyes these last days. Just the way he'd looked at her in her new dress, or in the last few minutes before they went to bed together - when she'd catch a glance from him; apprehensive but laced with the same guilty anticipation she'd be feeling too. But it was when they were lying together, entwined too closely in the dark that she knew for sure things had changed irreversibly.
It had been difficult lying next to him from the start, holding his hand and waking up with him was a bittersweet kind of torture. But from the night of the funeral when he'd first pulled her close against him, she had felt the intensity of his -and her own- feelings increasing. In darkness they both seemed to find a boldness that left them in the light of day - their bodies fitting closer together every night, fingers running over each others skin with a tenderness that said so much and yet both of them still held back from talking about it. Hermione closed her eyes as she thought of last night; how when he'd pressed her against him with such feeling, his chest against her spine, it had truly seemed like he was hers. Tears had actually come to her eyes at how much relief she'd felt as his body curved around hers. The intimacy had been building every night but still deep down she hadn't really believed anything would happen from it.
Then there was the dance.
She hadn't meant to get so close to him in front of everyone - she'd just seen him almost fall over and recognised he was struggling to control the flying impulses again. So instinctively, she went to him. She had known that he would respond to her, that she could help him. And it felt so natural to send her thoughts to him, knowing he could hear them.
But she could barely remember convincing Ginny to step aside or leading him to dance because once he was in front of her, once they were close as they'd been every night in his bed this week, she couldn't think of anything but him. The feel of his warm hands in hers, then his body pressed against her - that body she felt she already knew so well. When he had locked eyes with hers she knew he wanted to kiss her. His eyes were such an intense green and his lips just an inch from hers…
She jumped at loud laughter that floated across from the open front door as a group of students walked down the steps, luckily turning in the opposite direction from her. She shook her head, thinking of what was in store for her for the rest of this year at Hogwarts. Well, it wasn't like she'd ever been popular anyway. So if the whole school hated her, then so be it. At least she'd still have Luna, and Neville. And, Harry.
Her heart gave a guilty pang as Ron's name floated automatically into her thoughts. He hadn't been seen since he'd stormed out of the Hall. She had thought briefly of going to find him, but dismissed the idea quickly - no one could get through to Ron when he was in a mood, least of all her. That was one of many problems she was beginning to realise her and Ron had.
She had thought it was the answer. That's me, she thought wryly. Always trying to work everything out to a perfect, infallible answer. And being with Ron had been what she deduced would be the ultimate solution.
The answer to her feelings for Harry.
Those feelings had grown so quickly it had scared her. One moment she'd been so fond of him, cared for him and ached for his situation, how alone he was in the world. Then, though she couldn't actually pinpoint the exact moment, she began to need to see him, looked forward to any moment she would spend with him. She'd tried to tell herself it was just that she cared for him, as her best friend. But noticing the deep green of his eyes, or always wanting to touch his messy hair and run her fingers through it - that wasn't a friendship kind of thought and she knew it.
And then Ron started showing an interest in her. She'd been flattered, and immediately saw it as an outlet. If she just immersed herself in a relationship with Ron then everything would fall into place. Ginny was right for Harry, or so she'd thought, and then they would all be family. Harry would be in her life forever.
But it had just felt wrong. She knew it wasn't as if she could afford to be picky - she wasn't anyone's Cho Chang or Fleur Delacour. But there were always things she wanted to change about Ron.
She knew she had low expectations of him, and she didn't want to start out a relationship like that. She had first kissed him just because he showed concern for the schools' house elves for the very first time; didn't she want someone who already had compassion, who didn't have to learn it? And though she wasn't much for holding grudges, the moment that he'd left her and Harry at their riverbank camp in Wales, came back to haunt her so often that she knew she may forgive, but she would never forget it.
But she'd expected that once it had got off the ground, her relationship with Ron would sweep her away, make her forget every thought she'd had about Harry, every dream, every delusion that she'd admonish herself for.
As it turned out, it hadn't happened like that, and since that horrible moment, when she'd seen Harry lying on the grass, and thought he was dead - she knew it would never be enough. Her heart belonged to him. And she had almost decided to take her heart to Australia, far enough away that maybe it would forget.
Then these last few days had happened, and sent her into a spin. She'd truly thought it was her imagination at first, but when they had lay next to each other, not even she could ignore the tenderness with which he held her, his warm breath on her ear sending an electric current shooting through her as he pulled her close against his chest.
A soft thump not far from her interrupted her troubled thoughts and she peered into a dark corner, by the wall of the castle. It had sounded like a large animal had just pounced and she instinctively drew her wand.
"Hello?" She saw a definite black shadow moving and raised her wand towards it. "Show yourself."
The black shadow detached itself from the dark of the castle wall. Her heart leapt in her chest.
"Harry!" She frowned at him as he walked towards her, his hair messy even for him, his glasses absent. "What… is everything okay?"
He was right in front of her now and there was something about him; a thrilling electricity seemed to course from him and she thought his eyes were greener than ever as they met hers.
"It's great." He spoke quietly, and it sent a shiver through her. She studied his face; he looked different, but it wasn't just the glasses - he looked… older, and calmer than she'd seen him for some time.
She reached a hand up to lightly touch his face. "Your glasses."
"Yeah" he said, and smiled. "I decided it was time to stop pretending."
She swallowed, feeling the significance of his words. Silently they stood, close together, just breathing.
Hermione spoke. "What did Dumbledore say? Did he explain it for you?" Harry nodded and she watched him closely. "And what did he say?"
Harry frowned a little and moved his hand to a stray tendril that had escaped her hair to tuck it behind her ear.
"I'll show you."
She raised her eyebrows at him. "What do you mean?"
"Do you trust me?" His gaze flickered up to the sky and her eyes widened. He watched her face as it registered the conflicting thoughts streaming through her, until finally her expression settled into one of surrender.
"I trust you."
She stepped closer and he placed his arms around her waist as she did the same to him. Slowly pulling her gaze away from his she laid her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes.
A small squeal escaped her lips as they rose, faster than she would have thought possible. She held tight to him and felt rather than heard his gentle laugh, her eyes still squeezed shut. The rushing wind seemed to settle around them as they tilted into an upwards arc.
He loosened his grip and she grasped at him in response but he moved his hands to her upper arms and she knew he was looking down at her on his chest now.
"Open your eyes."
Slowly she did as he asked, and gasped in shock as they rushed quietly over the castle, viewing the turrets and battlements from above for the third time in her life - the other times being on Buckbeak and a Thestral. This was more similar to the Thestral in that there was nothing but air underneath her, but strangely she felt more secure than any other time, as if they were suspended in a warm pocket of air holding the two of them. It was as if an invisible energy was keeping her buoyant - the energy radiating clearly from every part of her body that was in contact with his.
She looked up into his face to see he was smiling down at her, the same tenderness in his eyes as he'd shown her at the dance, but with no inhibition now, and he looked even more delighted as she smiled back. Nodding his encouragement as she relaxed her body, he held her a little apart from himself, slowly releasing one of her hands until they were both face down, only holding the one hand. He smiled wider as she tentatively stretched out her other arm, breathing rapidly but her face alight with joy and wonder. He squeezed her hand hard as a warning before taking them over the edge of the castle and in to a dive down to the surface of the lake.
She screamed, but it was a scream more of excitement than fear, and it finished in laughter as they pulled up a good distance from the glistening water, rushing over the moonlit lake.
He looked over at her; the wind having blown her hair loose, her mouth open and laughing.
"You're so beautiful."
He sent the thought into her head and she whipped her face around to him in surprise.
He smiled across at her and gave a very small nod, acknowledging her unspoken query, that yes that was his voice. Her shock was obvious and inspired him to pull her in and grab her other arm, holding her firmly into his chest again as they rose upwards, spinning slowly.
They slowed as they got higher and he lowered his eyes to hers. She was looking back up at him, her eyes wandering all over his face. "Harry" she barely whispered. He lost all trace of his smile as his gaze slid down to her lips. They had slowed till they were almost motionless in the air before he bent his head and lowered his mouth to hers.
The exquisite softness of her lips shocked him deeply. His eyes closed as she pressed into him, returning the kiss, their mouths melding together with an intense heat and making them forget where they were. His hands tangled in her hair as they drifted upwards together, crushed as close to each other as was possible.
Her arms wound around his neck as their kiss deepened in intensity and they turned slowly in the air. Harry moved his hands down to close around her waist, lifting her up so her face was level with his, her fingers holding handfuls of his own hair now. She broke away then; their faces still close as they looked at each other, lips barely apart, and their quickened breath mingling.
He was the first to break into a grin and then she did the same, pressing her forehead into his. Still smiling she nestled her face into his neck as he bent forward to gently kiss her bare shoulder.
They hung there, holding each other in suspended silence and a few light drops of rain fell.
Harry pulled back to watch Hermione's face as she studied the gathering clouds. Reluctantly he looked away and bent a little to put one arm under her legs to cradle her to him. She looked back into his face until he broke the silence.
"We better go back."
A muscle flexed in his jaw and Hermione nodded and laid her head on his chest, realising they both knew that reality was only moments away, but wanting to prolong it forever.
Harry brought them to land softly at the waters edge, not far from Dumbledore's tomb. He set her feet gently on the ground and then they stood there, wrapped in each other with Harry's lips resting on top of her head as she hugged him tightly. Neither spoke as they stayed like that for some time, until the rain began to fall hard. Harry finally moved to take his outer robe off and lay it around her shoulders.
He pulled the hood up to rest over her hair, adjusting it more than he needed to as he became overwhelmed with a sudden inexplicable shyness. He wanted to tell her everything, but he felt so full of emotions that he didn't know how to start. He just stood, facing her, water running down his face as she looked back up at him. She giggled at the drips falling off his nose and eyebrows as she wiped at them and he smiled back. Cupping his face with her hands she rose up a little and they were kissing again, her hood falling back and the rain forgotten.
When they broke away she pressed her face into his shoulder and he bent to enfold his arms around her waist gazing unseeing at the grass behind her. Feeling like he could speak now that he wasn't looking directly at her face, he broke the silence.
"I came straight to find you." She smiled into his shoulder.
He felt her smile but she said nothing so he continued. "I've got so much I want to say to you."
She nodded; also grateful they weren't looking at each other. "You have no idea Harry."
He kissed her neck absently. "Maybe we should go inside before we drown though."
She laughed at that and pulled back from him, lifting a hand to her wet hair sticking to her face. "I think that's a good idea." He laughed warmly too, dropping his head to press against hers before kissing her again, holding it longer than intended but unable to stop. She returned his intensity though, until they both silently acknowledged the now pouring rain and set off with their arms around each other back to the castle.
She pulled the hood around her as they hurried up to the lights of Hogwarts. Harry barely felt the rain as he walked. He knew things were still far from sorted out but somehow he just knew that he was in the right place more than he ever had before - a glow suffused him that felt like he'd taken a dose of Felix Felicis.
He looked down at Hermione affectionately when his eye was caught as they passed, by something glinting on top of Dumbledore's white tomb.
"What…" He moved them closer and Hermione turned and noticed it too. Peering into the darkness he realized with a jolt what the object was.
A small and delicate pair of half moon spectacles lay on the white marble.
He frowned and automatically reached out for them.
"Harry, no!"
He registered Hermione's cry the split second that he felt the jerk behind his bellybutton; she grasped hold of him as they were transported by the portkey.
Landing roughly on wet grass he recovered slower than Hermione, registering her standing up as he pushed himself up on to his hands and knees. It was dark, and they were still outside, but undercover from the rain he discerned.
Then he heard her voice, tinged with panic and desperation.
"NO!"
A flash of purple light blinded him and he blinked rapidly, his arms wildly searching for Hermione. He found her, his hand detecting her ankle. His chest clenched as he realised she was lying on the ground and he scrambled up to her face.
"Hermione!!" he shouted at her closed eyes, her features frighteningly still. He grabbed at her shoulders but she lay limp in the grass. "Hermione!!!"
"That muggle wench is like a bad case of vermin" said a deep voice, not far behind Harry. "Haven't I killed her half a dozen times already?"
Laughter broke out around Harry as he turned slowly to the voice and stared into the long pale face of Antonin Dolohov.
~*~