Disclaimer: JKR owns.
Lies for Love
Chapter 5: Tears
[AN] I didn't realise what a scary teaser I left you with Tuesday… I'll apologize now because it truly scared the bloody hell out of some of you. No worries though mates! This is the chapter you've been waiting for…
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Harry was fuming. His cheeks were red, his hands were fisting his ebony locks, and he had stubborn tears rolling down his cheeks.
He slammed against the back wall of the office and let himself slide to the ground. 'How the hell could this be happening to him?!' Harry thought angrily, not thinking about himself but rather his 4 month old godson.
"Why the bloody hell can't you tell me where he is?!" Harry attempted again in a dangerous scream.
"Mr. Potter, it was a muggle neighbour that discovered her so she called the muggle authorities. We can't find him because he's out of our jurisdiction!" Mrs. Barnum said back flippantly, sitting behind her desk and starting to scribble away on a pad of paper.
Harry got up from the ground furiously and walked over to her, snatched the quill away, effectively breaking it and pointed a finger in her face, "What the fuck are you good for if you can't tell me where he's been taken? Teddy is a wizard- of magical decent! You are the fucking head of Magical Child Services! I'M HAVING TROUBLE COMPREHENDING WHY YOU WON'T TELL ME ANY FUCKING DETAILS! YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST BE FINE WITH THE FACT THAT MY GODSON'S GRANDMOTHER SUDDENLY DIED AND NOW HE'S BEEN TAKEN INTO MUGGLE CUSTODY?!"
"Mr. Potter, I'm going to have to ask you to calm down or leave my office," Mrs. Barnum said fearfully, looking at the lamp on her desk that had shattered during Harry's rant.
Harry sneered at her before turning to sit in the chair that faced her desk. He wiped the tears from his face and stared at the woman mercilessly.
"Mr. Potter, I'm only permitted to tell you what we know. I cannot give you outside information on your godson's whereabouts simply because we do not know anything. Ted John Lupin was raised by Andromeda Tonks who lived in a muggle neighbourhood in West London. Her muggle neighbour," she kept stressing the word muggle, "found Mr. Lupin crying from his nursery yesterday morning. When she went to investigate she found Mrs. Tonks laying in bed without a pulse. The muggle ambulance was contacted, along with the police and they concluded that she had died in her sleep due to natural causes-"
"Were they really natural causes, though? Those bloody muggle idiots wouldn't know signs of magic if it literally kicked them in the face! Why aren't we doing our own investigation on her death?!" Harry looked as if he could cause a massive storm the way his eyes were sparkling indignantly.
"Mr. Potter, homicide or whatever you think might've really happened to Mrs. Tonks is not my job. Now please stop interrupting me!" she finished hotly, levelling a stern glare of her own at him that reminded him of Professor McGonagall.
"Fine," he muttered begrudgingly and sank lower in his seat waiting for her to continue.
"Good. Now, as I was saying, after Mrs. Tonks was taken to the morgue the muggle authorities took Mr. Lupin into protective custody after knowledge of him having no other extended family. Where he is now, I can not tell you for certain. You have to take the rest up with the muggle services."
"But I'm his godfather! I AM his extended family! Why don't they understand that?"
"Mr. Potter, custody of an infant works different ways in the muggle world. There is no pointing a finger at the godfather and giving the baby to him, they have to go through the courts. There has to be a reading of a will, and if your name is on that will than there won't be any troubles-"
"So how do I find out if Andromeda left a will? Or more importantly how do I find out if my name's on it?"
"You will most likely be summoned to court-"
"Look, all this will be happening probably weeks from now! What's happening to my godson right now? I want to know where he's at and if I can take him home with me! He doesn't need to be staying at a bloody orphanage when I'm here for him!" Harry shouted at her, his temper about to fly off the handle again.
"Mr. Potter," the witch said calmly, standing behind her desk, "I am truly sorry for your loss. But this is out of the ministry's hands. You need to go to the muggle services if you want to gain custody of your godson."
Harry glared at her for a few moments before speaking through clenched teeth, "And where is this place?"
The woman willingly gave Harry a business card revealing the address and hours of London's Child Services. Without another word, Harry got up and left Mrs. Barnum's office, slamming the door on his way out.
Harry stalked through the halls of the Ministry. He muttered to himself angrily as he entered the lift and jabbed the buttons for the main floor. He had to go to this place immediately and he was deeply relieved to find out that they were still open. Hopefully with some luck, these idiots would allow him to take Teddy home with him today.
He let his head bang against the side of the metal lift as it ascended up to the main floor. How could this have happened? He thought that he'd be getting a scolding for his little disappearing stunt at St. Mungo's last week when he was called in to Minister Kingsley's office- he didn't expect for Kingsley to tell him that Mrs. Tonks had suddenly passed away and that Teddy had been taken into the muggle authorities.
He sighed and rubbed at his eyes as the lift clanged open. He moodily pushed his way through the throws of people, heading towards the apparation point of the Ministry. Looking back down at the card, he couldn't help but feel extremely lost and helpless. He didn't want to face these people alone while he was an emotional wreck, but he knew he needed to get there as soon as possible.
A light bulb turned on his mind and he looked up thinking about his best friend. 'Hermione could help me do this... she would understand... I haven't talked to her in a while but she sent me those letters saying she was feeling better and that she was starting classes at uni...' Harry sniffed at his runny nose and quickly decided it was worth the shot. Running the rest of the distance to the apparation point, he quickly disappeared from sight with a quiet crack.
Not even stopping to knock and hoping that she'd be home, he opened the front door and barged through the living room, rapping briefly on her bedroom door before walking in.
"Hermione?!" he cried out desperately.
"Harry?" she asked breathlessly, her voice coming from the bathroom.
Harry walked over and tried to open the door but to his surprise it was locked, "Hermione!"
"What's wrong?" she asked again, prying the door open a bit.
Harry noticed that her hand was lightly wiping at her mouth and that she was sweating profusely. The way her clothes were laying slightly crumpled on her body didn't make him feel any more comfortable. He took a step back, "Is someone in there with you?"
"No!" she rectified quickly, opening the door the rest of the way for Harry to see himself.
"Oh," he said shyly feeling stupid for asking that question when there was a more important topic at hand.
"Harry have you been crying?" Hermione asked in alarm, coming out of the bathroom to grab Harry's hands and sit him on the bed.
Harry shook his head stubbornly, "It's Teddy."
Hermione's face dropped, "Oh my god..."
"No," Harry assured her immediately, knowing what she would be thinking, "He's not dead. But Mrs. Tonks is."
"What?!" she asked, clapping a hand over her mouth.
Harry nodded stiffly, "Their neighbour found her in her bed dead. The muggles are saying it was natural causes-"
"Wait, muggles?" Hermione asked in confusion.
"Yeah, the neighbour that found them was a muggle so she called them instead of the Ministry of Magic. Now Mrs. Tonks is at some morgue and Teddy's been taken to London's child services."
"Oh no..." Hermione sighed, seemingly already knowing what they were about to get into.
Harry nodded again and sniffed, "Will you go with me down there? I just... I can't go by myself or else someone will get blown up," he finished with an uneasy laugh, "And I know that you can probably handle this better than me."
Hermione nodded swiftly, "Of course I'll go with you. Let me put my shoes on..." she trailed of instantly moving for her closet. Harry watched her bend down and slip her trainers on and couldn't help but think of what a wonderful friend she was.
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"Harry, I understand that this is ridiculous and really hard for you, but you shouldn't have lost your temper like that..." Hermione said as she opened the door to her flat.
"I can't fucking understand why they just won't let me see him! Teddy's better off with me than sitting in some bloody orphanage!" he cried out, dropping onto her couch and putting his head in his hands.
Hermione sat next to him and rubbed his back, "Look Harry, I'm sure that once they find the will they'll give you custody. They can't do anything to him in the meantime so while staying at the orphanage isn't the way we want it, it's the way we have it," she finished looking into his eyes as he sat up to stare at her.
"I wish I could be like you- so poised," he confided in her shyly, running another hand through his hair.
Hermione smiled at him, not giving away that for the past few weeks she hadn't been feeling so poise, "That's why I came to you instead of anyone else. I knew you'd help me get through this... you'd be completely honest with me even if I didn't want to hear it. Even if it was a cold truth..."
Hermione paused and took her hand from Harry's back, staring blankly around her living room. A few moments passed where Hermione looked like she was having an internal battle before she shook her head lightly, "We just have to be pa-" she stopped and clapped a hand to her mouth.
Harry looked up in alarm, "Are you alright?"
Hermione swallowed and nodded quickly, "We just have to be patient."
"I know you're right, but it's just so bloody hard. I mean I need to get custody of Teddy. I have to. I don't want him to have that type of lifestyle... being raised by people that don't know him, don't understand him..."
Hermione looked at Harry with tears in her eyes. She gave him a watery smile.
"What?" he asked returning her smile.
She shook her head, "Nothing. Just that you'd be really great father to him, Harry. Teddy-" she stopped and clapped a hand to her mouth again. Harry looked at her in distress and placed a hand on her back. He watched as she looked like she was choking back a mouthful of something.
"Herm-" Harry started but before he could finish, Hermione bolted up from her spot and ran for the hall loo. Harry instantly jumped up as well, and followed her in to find her retching in the toilet.
"Hermione, I thought you told me you weren't getting sick anymore!" he scolded with a caring voice as he came forward to pull her hair back.
She shook her head lightly before throwing up again. When she drew back she was shaking and tears were spilling from her eyes.
"Hermione, come on, tell me what's wrong?" he asked lovingly stroking her hair and her back.
She started sobbing, covering her face with her hands.
"Hermione-" Harry tried pulling her hands away from her face but she wouldn't budge. "Hermione if you don't tell me what's wrong I'm going to take you to the hospital right now. Now tell me!"
She continued to cry, the tears coming quickly and spilling down her face, "I d-don't know what to do anymore!" she finally got out.
"About what Hermione? Come on, it can't be that bad..."
"No Harry, it is that bad," she said sniffing, and wiping her face, "I've been feeling like this since the beginning of August... I can't keep making excuses for myself..." she finished, shaking her head adamantly before covering it again with her hands.
"Hermione, if you've been feeling like this since August then why haven't you gone to the doctor?" he asked gently, again trying to pry her hands away.
"Be-because... I'm s-scare of w-what they'll tell me..."
"What do you mean? Sweetheart, look at me," he was hugging her against his chest, letting her tears stain his gray shirt.
She moved her hands away and let Harry wipe away the remaining tears, "I... I t-think..."
She paused and Harry continued to press her against his chest, "You think what, Hermione?"
She continued to shake her head like she was fighting with herself whether or not to tell him, "I... uh, I haven't..."
"Hermione?"
"I- I think I'm pregnant." she finally whispered with tears still streaming down her face.
Harry sat there, with Hermione still in his arms, his jaw dropped, staring at her like he'd never seen her before.
She finally looked up at him, "Harry?" she said lowly, wanting him to say something- anything to make her feel better about this.
"Y-you and Ron..." he asked shakily, not meeting her eyes.
"What?" she asked, genuinely befuddled.
"I thought you said you and Ron hadn't done that," he said this time a bit more angrily.
"We- wh-?" she started stuttering while looking into his clouded eyes. She could see the angriness in them and beyond that thought she spotted a bit of hurt and jealousy.
"So you just lied to me? That easily?"
"No, Harry-"
"Hermione, I wo-"
"Harry I've never slept with Ron!" she exclaimed suddenly, louder than she thought she could at the moment.
Harry stared at her, "What? Then who-" His mind started drifting off to that bloke in Australia... but Hermione said they had just snogged. Would she have lied?
"I told you my stomach started acting up late July, early August Harry... that would have meant conception was at least three to four weeks prior..." she said, looking at him intensely.
Harry stared at her in shock, "That means... I- is it...-"
"I've never been intimate with anyone else, Harry," she whispered quietly, moving slightly out of his embrace.
Harry was paralyzed. He couldn't speak, he couldn't move... all he could do was sit there and stare at her while Hermione looked thoroughly uncomfortable.
"D-do you know for sure?"
Hermione shook her head, "No, but I've been getting sick almost daily. Or at least my stomach cramps... I haven't had my period since god knows when, my waists are getting chubby, I haven't been able to apparate without feeling sick afterwards, I've-" she stopped ranting, placing a hand on her head and taking a deep breath, "I've been too scared to take the test... and I didn't want to find out alone."
"Hermione, you have to do the test," he said in trepidation. He scolded himself when he seen Hermione's hurt look when he implied that she had to do it by herself,"- I mean we have to do it. We have to see."
Hermione nodded and began sitting up from the floor. Harry jumped up quickly and helped her. He slung his arm around her waist and kissed her forehead.
"C'mon, we can do this. Do you know what this test is?"
Hermione nodded guiltily, "I didn't want to go get a potion so I bought some muggle tests a few days ago-"
"A few days ago? Hermione why didn't you tell me? I would have been over here in a second!"
"I didn't want to unless it was for certain... could you imagine how awkward it will be between us if it turns out I'm not and this is just some fluke?" she asked emotionally with another sniffle.
Harry shook his head defiantly, "Nonsense, Hermione. You're my best friend in the whole world. Nothing could keep us apart," he told her with a reassuring smile. She smiled back, albeit lightly and nodded her head. "Right then, where are these tests?"
"In my bathroom," she said. Harry helped her into her bathroom and sat her down on the toilet and was about to look in the cabinet when he noticed the pregnancy test box already out on the counter. He held it up,
"Is that what you were doing in here earlier?"
Hermione nodded sullenly, "I was just about to do it and I was scared out of my wits. That's why I didn't open the door all the way at first and then when I did I was nervous that you would see it. But then you went off about Teddy and..."
"Hermione, calm down okay? Now how do you do this?" he asked taking out a stick and turning the box over to read it.
"I um..." she waved her hand over to the toilet to tell Harry how she had to take it and Harry blushed.
"Oh right... well, um, I'll just go read this out here. Call me when you're done," he finished walking out of the loo and shutting the door behind him to give her some privacy.
Harry heard the toilet flush and the sink turn on and off a few minutes later. Hermione came out all flushed, looking as if her parents had just died.
Harry gave her a comforting smile and patted the spot on her bed next to him. She came over and rested her head on Harry's shoulder.
Harry leaned in to her gently and then spoke with a soft voice, "It says that if it turns pink you're pregnant and if it turns blue you're not. It's 99% accurate and we have to wait about five minutes before it'll show," he summed up, throwing the box on the chair across from them.
They were silent for a few seconds before Hermione sniffled again, "Harry what are we going to do if it's pink? I haven't even thought about how this would effect other people-"
"Hey, I haven't even thought how this would effect me yet, so let's just cool it with the other people," Harry said with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.
But Hermione wouldn't have it, "But what about the Weasley's-"
"The Weasley's aren't important right now, Hermione. You're important right now, and if you are pregnant, keeping that baby safe and healthy will be important. Understand?" Even though he knew what he said was true, Harry was a bit peeved at how he could say that about his surrogate family so easily.
Hermione nodded solemnly but continued to look doubtful.
Harry wrapped an arm around her waist, "And Hermione, I want you to know that I'll be here for you every step of the way, okay?"
Hermione nodded again and whispered, "I know Harry. I know you're a good person and you'd make a great father... I just don't want you to think I did this purposefully."
"Of course I don't think that, Hermione!" he said in shock that she would even be thinking along such lines, "To be honest, I'm not really surprised. I mean of course I'm surprised but... I mean, how many times did we use the charm anyway?"
Hermione let out a sarcastic laugh, "Maybe once."
Harry smiled, "Exactly. I wasn't exactly being the most responsible suitor, now was I?"
Hermione returned his smile but it immediately dropped so she could continue her banter, "What will my parents think? I don't have a boyfriend. I'll only be 19 in a few days, that's hardly the proper age for an expecting mother."
"Hermione, I think we're getting ahead of ourselves. Now," he said pulling her back on the bed so they were laying snuggled together, "we're going to lay here and wait for that test before we start writing away our future, okay?"
"'Kay," she said a bit embarrassed that she was going on and on about how this would effect their lives when they didn't even know for sure. She snuggled down into Harry's chest and closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax with the deep sound of breathing coming from him. Before long, they had both drifted away into a peaceful sleep.
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"Hermione," she heard a voice say followed by a hand clasping her shoulder and shaking her, "Hermione, wake up."
"Hmm?" she sounded, rolling over and burying her head deeper into the pillow.
"Hermione, the test is done. We fell asleep for like an hour," Harry said a little on edge. Hermione sat up slowly, and looked at Harry with fearful eyes.
Harry shook his head to fend off whatever she was thinking, "Hermione, you know we have to look at it. C'mon, it'll be fine." He held out his hand for her to hold on to. The took they're time walking into the bathroom, and finally when they spotted the white stick Hermione turned suddenly to look at him.
"What?" Harry asked hesitantly.
Hermione bit her lip and held out her pinkie, "Pinkie promise that no matter what that test says that we'll always be best friends, and we'll always be there for each other."
Harry looked into her eyes and wasted no time lifting his pinkie to latch on to hers, "Promise."
Hermione took a deep calming breathe, "Okay then. Ready?"
Harry nodded, "Ready."
Hermione turned and grabbed the test, her eyes immediately shooting for the tip.
There glowed a bright pink colour.
"Pink, what's pink again?"
"Pregnant," Harry whispered.
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Next chapter on Lies for Love:
Harry smiled back politely, "So what brings you by, Ron?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing, actually," Ron said looking at him with a glare, "You're not moving in on my girl are you Harry?"
…
My knowledge of Teddy Lupin is limited, a. because there wasn't that much information on him anyway, and b., because I honestly only skimmed through DH. I know that he was born around spring and that his middle name is really Remus. But I like the initials TJ and the name will come into play in a future fic, so that's why I changed it to John.
Also, I have a beta lined up for this fic but I'm pretty sure she's busy preparing for her exams for school and she's beta'ing M&ME, so I won't bombard her with this just yet. So yes, all mistakes are mine and I'm terribly sorry.
Thank you to all my reviewers!