Redemption
Insecurities
Standing, I tossed my money onto the bar and made my way out of the pub. I tried to pay no heed to the way the level of conversation died down as I moved to the exit, but found myself unable to ignore the way it rose again as soon as the door closed behind me. Maybe my father was right… maybe I was stupid to return to a society that only seemed to wish that I would go away once more. Throwing my scarf over my shoulder and slipping on my dragon hide gloves, I dipped my head and made my way through the cold weather to my flat. As my ears began to feel frozen and the winter winds nipped at my nose, I silently asked myself why I didn't just Apparate home. However, I already knew the answer to that -I was hoping for the chance to get to help someone tonight.
When I got to help a muggle, it was the only time that I ever felt like I made the right decision in coming back. I was the only time that I ever felt good, that I ever felt needed, wanted…. Crossing the semi-deserted street, I glanced around for anyone in need of aid. As I rounded the corner I saw a woman chasing futilely after a scarf. Giving a light shrug, I pulled out my wand. Hey, it wasn't much, but at least it was something. Before I could say the proper spell a muggle man's hand darted out and grabbed the wayward item. Handing it back to the woman, he offered her a smile and she responded in kind. They talked for a few moments as the woman tied her scarf around her neck before the man made a motion to a small tea house located across the street. Giving a shy smile and a nod, the woman followed him into the warm establishment.
Stuffing my wand back into my pocket, I stared at the tea house for a moment before ducking my head against the biting wind and hurrying to my flat once more.
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My empty gaze fixated on the dark amber liquid as I swirled it lazily in my glass. Here it was, a Saturday, and I was sitting home… alone… again. I scoffed lightly and sped up my movements, causing the fluid to slosh a bit at the sides and spill over onto my fingers. That couple earlier had made me realize several things: One -muggles didn't always need my help. Two -sometimes it was better not to interfere and let things take their natural course. Three -that was probably not likely to happen because of reason four. -I was hopelessly and pathetically lonely. I took a long swig of the amber liquid, hissing as the firewhiskey burned its way down my throat and hoped that it would sear the hole in my heart closed.
I suppose there's no use in being a bleeding nancy boy about it. I mean, it's just the way it was going to have to be, so I should just pull up my bootstraps and get used to it. I downed another gulp. I mean, sure, I could find a nice looking witch to warm my sheets for a night or two, but that was about it. Though I held a certain amount of intrigue for the ones looking for a spot of danger, they didn't want me on their team anymore than the Minister wanted me on his. I was just a nightlight, a teddy bear if you will… better yet, their own rock hard blow-up doll to use for a rough, nonstop shag for a night. One that also left them with a conquest story to whisper about later, amongst their more daring mates. I downed the rest in the glass and refilled it.
Allowing my head to fall back, I looked up at the dark green ceiling. Would I ever have friends again? At this rate, that's a no, but I can't help but remember…. I closed my eyes momentarily before knocking back the contents of the glass. Then, standing, I made my way over to the front closet. Pulling out my great coat, I had just enough time to put my arms through and pull my gloves out of my pocket before I was gone with a soft `pop'.
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My eyes scanned the massive area looking… looking. `I know it's here somewhere,' I thought to myself, walking though the powdery snow. My feet were making light crunching sounds as the snowy surface was compressed under my weight. Chewing my lip lightly, I quickly ran over the various names. `It has to be here, I know it….' Growling in frustration, I turned to head in the other direction then froze… it sat just ahead, the name barely peaking out from the white powder of the snow.
Taking a shuddering breath, I approached. Using my gloved hand I knocked the substance free and stared at the name of the small gray tombstone.
Vincent Crabbe
Son
1980-1998
Biting my lip again, I stared at the sparsely labeled stone and shook my head. It was the way of all of the graves of those who supported the Dark… who supported Voldemort. Meagerly labeled graves in a large area, with countless others who had been on the same team, located on the less maintained side of a deceptively beautiful white picket fence. Running a hand over my face, I used the cold that remained from when I had cleared the snow to cool my suddenly heated face. Opening my eyes once more, I blinked back tears. It was my fault that he was here.
I sat down on the frosty snow, taking no heed of the way that the ice melted into my expensive coat. In a way I had killed him…. I had a hand in his death like I had one in the death of Dumbledore, or the near deaths of Katie Bell and Weasley. I was the one who told him about that stupid diadem, I was the one who had shown him how to get into the Room of Requirement. He wasn't exactly the pointiest wand in the store. I should have known better, but all I could think about was proving myself. Proving myself to a thing who didn't give a damn if I lived or died, who didn't give a damn if my family lived or died. I sniffled softly, and lowered my gaze. There were nights -a lot more, recently- that I wished that Harry had left me to die in that fire. It's obvious that he now regrets saving me, and I don't really blame him.
Goyle and I have only spoken once since the final battle. I won't go into detail… but let's just say that he agrees with me. I scoffed lightly, causing a small cloud to appear near my nose. Exhaling slowly, I let my head fall back and stared blankly to the sky.
Though I may have treated him like a lackey, or a "minion" as Potter and his pals often referred to him, contrary to popular belief I did see Crabbe as my mate, Goyle too. They were who I had talked to. I trusted them with my secrets, and they did the same with me. We hung out every day, just about, for the first five and a half years that I was at Hogwarts, and at least a month out of most of the summers in between. So, naturally, after spending that much time with the blokes joking, talking, and hanging out, you get to see them for the people that they are, and they get to see you. Now… now, no one sees me.
Sighing, I conjured a large bouquet of green roses with silver stems in a glass vase. Crabbe was all about Slytherin pride… at least he had been. Using my wand, I melted the snow away from the front of his stone and cast a silent `no snow' charm on the area so that it wouldn't return. After I placed the flowers just under his name, I repeated my earlier actions on the top of the tombstone. Sure, his body wasn't here, there was no body to bury, but this was still his area. His small spot carved out in the world, and I was going to make sure that it looked nice.
Standing, I dusted the lingering snow off of the back of my coat and waved my wand, causing the dead grass that had been under the snow to turn green once more before leaning forward and lightly touching the headstone.
"I'm sorry," I muttered to the bloke that I used to call one of my best mates.
Giving one last sigh, I straitened up and closed my eyes in an attempt to place my emotions back where they belonged. Away. This was why I was back; this was why I needed to help. So that I don't forget what I've done. So that I don't go on in a fairy tale world with a charmed existence, ignoring all of the atrocities that I committed and all of the lives that were lost because of me. Opening my eyes once more, I gave a small nod to Crabbe and turned on my heel, heading back out of the cemetery.
As I neared the beautiful white fence, I was surprised to see a familiar face. And from the look on that face, she was also surprised, and not pleasantly so.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny Weasley asked rudely from her location on the "good side" of the fence.
My brows rose. "As blunt as ever, I see," I drawled, coming to a halt in front of the waist high railing.
She glared. "Yes. Now what are you doing here, Malfoy?" she spat.
I lowered one brow, leaving the other raised. "How do you all have such a knack for putting such a disturbingly twisted sneer in the middle of my name?" I inquired curiously. "I mean you, Potter, Weasley- er, boy Weasley, not you. You all seem to just have it down to an art."
Her glare shifted to a glower. "Boy Weasley? If you hadn't noticed, you prat, I have five brothers, so you may want to clarify."
I gave a light shrug. "You know which one I mean…five? I thought that there were six-" I cut off abruptly, snapping my mouth shut before I lost my whole foot in it. "I'm… sorry, I…." My voice trailed off at the tremor in her bottom lip. When she shifted her clenched hands, I attempted to salvage what I could of the conversation. "Uh… I'm here to visit a friend. Crabbe is just up the hill there," I finished, finally answering her initial question and making a light sweeping motion to indicate the area behind me.
She continued to look at me for a moment, her jaw clenched shut, before scoffing lightly "Visiting a friend? Since when do you have friends, Malfoy?" she spat. "I wouldn't be surprised if you just went up there to complain to him about not being around to help you carry your ego."
I licked my lips lightly, and looked away in an attempt to hide the hurt that her words had caused. "Yeah well…." I sighed, running my hand lightly over my nose and mouth. "I think that we were mates. I'm pretty sure that he did, too. So…" I trailed off with a shrug, hazarding another look at her.
Ginny was smirking. "What do you know about mates?" When I gave a low mocking laugh and shook my head, she issued me a smug look. "Just like I thought."
"I know about mates," I replied, getting pissed at her accusations.
"Really, Malfoy," she jeered, saying my name in that oh -so annoying way of hers.
"Yes, really, Weasley," I replied in the same mocking tone.
She walked forward until she was directly in front of me, and rested her hands on the tops of two of the fence's short white poles. "Since you know so much about friends, then answer this for me?"
I took a step closer also, forcing her to crane her neck to look up at me, and gave her a crooked smirk. "Gladly."
A mean smile pulled at the corners of her mouth, and I felt my stomach drop "Where are yours?"
My smirk fell, and I fought to maintain my composure. Years of practice helped me to school my features into a suitably bored look. "That's not your ruddy business," I retorted in my most droll tone.
She smirked. "Just as I thought…." She took a step back. "You don't have any."
Mustering up my will, I managed a glare before turning away from her and storming down the path to the exit where Apparation was allowed. As I neared the gates, I did my best to ignore the pain in my chest from her well-aimed shot at my insecurities, as well as her mocking laughter in the distance. Reaching the outside of the fence without turning around, I Apparated back into my apartment, fell back on the couch, and put a pillow over my face so that even I couldn't hear me cry.
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Coming out of the muggle bakery with a freshly made pastry in hand, I made a turn to my right to head over to the park. Looking up from the small paper bag, I froze with the pastry half way out as I saw her, sitting at a table at the bistro just next door with a dark haired witch I didn't know. Sighing, I contemplated taking another route before squelching the idea almost as soon as it came. I was not going to let the Weaslette have me ducking into alleyways like some bloody fugitive. Squaring my shoulders, I proceeded forward, pausing when I heard the squeal of tires in the distance. Looking quickly out at the street, I noticed a black truck heading too fast down the narrow strip of road. Glaring, I shook my head at the stupid muggle's recklessness.
"Amanda, no!!!" a woman screamed.
I turned my head just in time to see a young girl, no more then seven, chase a ball into the middle of the street. My eyes widened in horror as I realized that she was in too far and the truck was much too close. Tossing down my small pastry bag, and without a second thought, I disappeared with a light pop.
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Twirling the noodles around on my fork, I looked across the table at Tiffany, giving her a light smirk. "You don't really believe that, do you?"
"Of course not," the dark haired woman replied, her strange silvery-brown eyes looking up from her laptop to me. "But a lot of people like me do."
I snorted, "Yeah, well, it's a total muggle thing to think."
She rolled her eyes. "If muggles annoy you so much, Ginny, then why do you hang around with them?" She smirked, indicating herself with a light brush of her perfectly manicured hand.
I grinned. "They don't annoy me, they amuse me." I winked.
Tiffany gave an un-ladylike snort and rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Weasley, and just so you know, I keep you around for the same reason," she smirked.
"Really? You keep me around because you amuse me too?" I teased, laughing lightly.
"Ha-ha," she commented, drolly nicking a breadstick off of my plate. "I want some soda."
I rolled my eyes heavenward and chuckled. "You know, you are one of the most random people I have ever met."
"Thank you," Tiff answered with a cheeky grin.
I gave her a look of mock annoyance. "It was not a compliment, you git, it was-" I was cut off when I heard yelling.
"Amanda, no!!!" a woman shouted.
Looking over I saw a young girl dart out into the middle of the street chasing after a small pink ball.
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Tiff.
It was then that I saw it, a large black truck barreling down the narrow road at a break neck speed.
"Stop!!" I yelled.
"Stop! Please stop!!" someone else shouted from my right.
"Someone get her!!!"
"Save her!!"
"Amanda!!"
The voices were coming from everywhere but before anyone could reach the little girl the truck was on her…and then it wasn't. I froze, my mouth gaping in shock, as the little girl disappeared from sight in a flash of black material. As the truck roared along, never once touching the breaks, chaos erupted onto the streets.
"Where did she go?" a man asked in a hushed, awestruck tone.
"AMANDA!!!" the frantic girl's mum yelled, turning around in the middle of the now empty road.
"She was just there," someone else whispered.
"That should have hit her," another voice said.
"Where is she?" asked Tiffany from my left.
"I… I don't know…" I breathed.
It couldn't have been… it was forbidden to do stuff like that, but that was the only explanation....
"Mommy!!" The woman whirled around, as did the rest of the crowd, as the little girl came running from the park just a moment later, looking unharmed and very healthy.
"Amanda," her mum sobbed, rushing to meet her on the sidewalk.
They hugged for a moment and then her mum pulled back, quickly checking her for bruises.
"None," she whispered in an awestruck tone. "Not even a scratch."
"What happened?" a blond man with a mustache asked from his spot near the mum.
"Did someone save you?" a young brunette inquired.
"Did something save you?" added her curly haired friend.
"Did you see anything?"
"Where did you end up?"
"How did you leave?"
The questions continued to be shot out in rapid fire as Tiffany and I joined the melee, wanting any information.
"Just wait!" I yelled after a minute, noticing the little girl inching closer to her mum. When everyone still continued to chatter, I released a whistle that you can only learn from growing up with six older brothers. The talking abruptly ceased and everyone looked at me in surprise. "Let's take this one question at a time," I stated, taking control. "I'll start." Getting down eye level with the child, I offered her a small smile.
"Hello there, Poppet. Do you know what happened to you?" I inquired in a coaxing tone.
She nodded.
"Can you tell us?" I pressed quietly.
She nodded once more, giving a nervous glance to the crowd "I was chasing after my ball cuz Toby kicked it into the street, and I heard a noise. It was a big truck." The crowd shifted forward a bit as everyone strained to hear her small voice. "I looked up to see it coming fast but I couldn't run." Her tiny brows furrowed. "I don't know why. I think cuz I was a-scared." she whispered, looking up at me with wide eyes. "Then…then…."
"Then?!" an impatient man shouted from our left. I shot him a glower as the little girl shrunk back against her stupefied mother.
"Go on," I urged when the man looked suitably chastised.
"Then I was… I was wrapped in black warmth, kinda like a soft cloud." Her brows drew together in concentration at the memory before a faint smile touched her lips.
"Did you see anything else?" her mum asked quietly. I waited with baited breath for her response.
"No," the little girl said, shaking her head "but… it smelled."
"It smelled?" quizzed Tiffany from just behind me.
The little girl nodded "Yes, it smelled."
"Like what?" Tiff pressed in a calming tone, getting down on level with me.
She looked up, her eyes glowing and a smile on her lips "Like… like chocolate and spices… just like papa did that time we went to the sweets factory." She turned and looked at her mum. "Remember, mamma?"
The woman nodded tears streaming down her face "Yes, dear, I remember."
"Is her father dead?" An older woman asked, latching on to the idea that it may be the ghost of a beloved dad.
"No." The mother shook her head. "He's at the bank, working."
A murmur rippled though the crowed and I lifted my head and glanced in the direction of the park where the little girl had appeared from. I squinted as a swirl of black passed in the distance, but it was only there for a moment and gone before I could have a clear look.
"It's the Guardian Angel," a young girl who looked to still be in university exclaimed.
"Who?"
"The Guardian Angel," someone else repeated.
"Wow… I had read about it, but… I had thought it was just a ruse," an older man muttered with an astonished look.
I gave Tiffany a curious one of my own. "Guardian Angel?" I muttered.
"Yes," she breathed, still looking shocked. "It's been in several muggle papers," she continued in a whisper after a moment, finally looking at me. "It's even been written about in ours once or twice. But I never thought…."
"What is it?" I asked, pulling her away from the crowed.
She shook her head and looked at me. "What is what?"
"The Guardian Angel?" I asked impatiently.
"Oh, right. Well then, it's an angel I suppose. There have been several tales going around of crimes being prevented by some unseen force. A mugger being thrown into a wall before he could make away with the stolen goods." She began to gather her things from the table. "A stolen bike all of a sudden reappearing with the ID of the person who stole it stuck to the seat. A lost dog mysteriously finding its way back home. Little things." She paused from stuffing her laptop into her bag. "But nothing this, this…nothing like this." Her look was one of awe. "Does this have anything to do with…" she trailed off, looking around as a couple still chatting excitedly about the day's events passed. "Your, you know -culture?"
I chewed on my lower lip for a moment, before answering honestly. "I don't know for sure, but I think so."
She gave a nod, and shoved the wireless mouse into her bag before throwing it over her shoulder. "Well, I'm off."
"To write your story?"
"Of course," Tiffany grinned. "Where else?"
"Tiff, you're not going to-"
"Come on, Gin, you know me better than that." She frowned, taking one last sip of her water. "The mysterious Guardian Angel strikes again, that's all. Though I do want you to keep me updated on anything you find out, just for the sake of my own snooping nature."
I grinned "Of course."
"Great," said the dark haired woman, backing away. "Oh, and don't forget to bring home a copy of your article," she winked.
I laughed. She knew me too well. "Will do! See you!!"
"Bye!" she waved, turning and rushing down the street, and back to her office.
`Guardian Angel, huh? More like meddling wizard.' I thought with a smirk. `This is the story of the year, and I'm going to blow the lid right off of it.'
With that I grabbed my bag, and tossed a tip onto the table before heading to the nearest alleyway and Apparating back to my office at the Prophet.
A.N. Well that's it for this chappy? How's it so far? Still working for you? If you haven't figured it out yet POV's will be switching from Ginny to Draco and back again depending on who we need to hear from. Thanks to the few of you who have taken the time to review I really appreciate it!! And Thanks to my Beta Erin for all your help!!!
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