Title: Adrift
Summary: It was supposed to be the perfect holiday, but a tragic accident plunges Harry and Hermione adrift in to a new, uncertain life.
Rating: PG-13 for language and adult themes
Authors Notes: Hi everyone!!!
Sorry for the extended delay between updates. My computer went into the shop for repairs and I just got it back today. But it's all working again and it gave me a chance to do a lot of reworking.
In this chapter there is 2 parts that almost didn't make it. One was put in because I've always had this thing about how the wizards blend into the muggle world. The other was something that has been put in and out of this chapter so many times that I just thought I'd leave it in and if you don't like it, you don't like it.
I will try and get another update up by Christmas. And again, I do apologise for the delay! And as always, don't care what you have to say about this, as long as you do it nicely.
NINETEEN
James went into surgery and it was a long wait in the ICU for the others. Harry was surprised when he managed to sleep for an hour. He woke up feeling groggy and for a moment didn't know where he was.
And then it hit him. In a hospital. Waiting for James to come out, waiting for news. He turned his head from side to side, trying to work out the kink from sleeping sideways on plastic chairs. A headache had come on whilst he'd slept and he decided to go on a mission to find some aspirin.
Lily and Rose were reading magazines in the corner, Albus and Hugo were talking quietly and Hermione was nowhere to be seen. He didn't say anything to the kids as he left, just wandered out into the corridor. He found the nurses station, empty of nurses.
'God bless the NHS,' he said, rolling his eyes. He didn't really want to leave this floor; he wanted to be around in case James came up.
He went over to a nearby water cooler and poured himself a cup of ice cold water and drank it down quickly. It seemed to help his head and he felt a bit more awake and alert than he had. He was desperately wishing he had some Firewhisky and cursed himself for not grabbing some.
He wondered if he had time to run out to an off-license and get something.
'No!" he said to himself, louder than he thought he had as a passing doctor looked at him strangely.
He couldn't believe himself. Had he really just seriously thought that? He wouldn't leave the floor to get himself an aspirin, but he'd leave to get something to drink.
Suddenly, like a wave, it hit Harry. He was grateful for a chair that was next to the nurses station and he fumbled his way over to it and sat down. He felt like he was watching himself from someone else's perspective.
Was this how everyone else saw him? Was this how Hermione saw him? And his kids- did they see him like this?
And even worse- seeing him like this, had this set up the circumstances that led to James being out drinking with those boys? Could Harry lose his son to his own selfishness?
He was still trying to catch his breath and get his mind off the horrible thoughts that were rattling around in there when he saw Hermione walking towards him, with a woman right behind her, following her.
He noticed she was looking rather disgruntled and she came and stood next to him, but said nothing.
'Mr Potter,' the woman said with a smile. 'I'm Katie Pace, I'm a social worker.'
'A social worker?' Harry repeated stupidly, wondering why she was here.
'Mr Potter, in cases like your son's, the hospital is obligated to call for a social worker. We need to determine if this was caused by family circumstances and if the family environment is the right place for him to recover.'
Harry looked from Katie to Hermione, who was looking angry.
'Mrs Weasley here has explained to me the circumstances relating to James's mother; however I do still need to speak with both you and James. We need to make sure that his needs are being met within the home and that it will be an environment that he can recover in.'
'I don't understand,' Harry said in a low voice. 'James was just hanging around with some friends and as boys do, they got carried away and had an accident.'
'Mr Potter, your son had a blood alcohol reading of 0.17. He had been drinking heavily. As had all the other males in the car.'
'And that's cause to involved social workers?'
'Other factors are in play as well, Mr Potter,' Katie said firmly. 'The fact that neither his mother or yourself have ever held employment, though you have title deeds to two rather large properties and own two very nice cars. The fact that you have no visible bank accounts. And the fact that Mrs Potter is deceased. These are all factors that have us very concerned about James's future and whether or not staying with you is the best thing for him.'
Suddenly, the lights in the hallway flickered and several machines in other rooms began to beep. Katie looked blank and then looked at Harry oddly.
'I must apologise for inconveniencing you,' she said in an odd voice, before turning around and walking off. Harry looked at Hermione, who was blushing.
'Kingsley will kill me,' she moaned. 'I know I always say that, and it makes it seem like I'm always wiping the memories of muggles, But I couldn't let it go on any longer. I had to wipe her memory.'
Harry realised that her hands were both in her pockets and he knew she was clutching her wand.
'Thanks,' he managed to say.
They went back into the waiting room and not long after, the doctor returned and his expression was the closest to a smile that Harry had seen on it.
'Everything went good,' he told them all. The two boys gave a small cheer and the two girls let out a sigh of relief. Hermione took hold of Harry's hand a squeezed it. 'Now it's just a waiting game. We're going to keep him medicated and in a coma, until we know for sure that the swelling has gone down, and then we'll start bringing him around.'
'Can we see him?' Lily asked.
'Of course,' the doctor said. 'But only two at a time and you will all need to be careful. For now, we cannot allow anyone to touch him, but you will be able to see him up close.'
Harry let Albus and Lily go in first and he stood outside and watched them through the glass. They walked in hand in hand to the bed and stood there and looked at James. There were so many tubes and machines and it almost looked like his whole body was covered in plaster. Lily began to cry and Albus put his arm around her.
Rose and Hugo went next and didn't stay very long. The four kids then went back to the waiting room, leaving Harry and Hermione.
'Shall we?' she asked.
They walked in slowly and Harry got as close to the bed as he dared. James had looked so grown up when he had arrived home the week before, and now he looked like a child again. Memories of James as a small child came flooding back to Harry and he choked up.
'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'I'm sorry I wasn't a stronger man, a better father. I'm sorry I was never there for you. I'm sorry that your mum isn't around.'
Hermione held onto his hand tightly and struggled to hold back tears.
'I love you, son.'
~*~
By the evening Harry had convinced the nurses to set up a bed for him in the waiting room and had told Hermione to take the kids to Grimmauld place to stay. They didn't all need to be here.
He sat on the bed, watching people walk past in the hallway, feeling sick to the stomach and with shaking hands. He felt worse than he had when he'd woken up that morning and was feeling worse with every passing minute.
Not able to stand it any longer, he got up and started walking the halls. After an hour of pacing the ICU halls, he got in the elevator and headed down a floor and began pacing. Luckily this new route took him past one of the cafeterias and he was able to get a coffee for his pacing, which helped settle his shaking hands.
He stopped pacing and sat down on a comfy chair and sighed. He could hear a voice from the room behind, a familiar voice, and, curiosity getting the better of him, he looked inside.
'Harry?' the woman said and Harry's jaw nearly dropped.
'Grace?' he got up and went into the room.
He wanted to laugh- how many times could fate throw them together like this?
'What are you doing here?' she asked him.
'James was in an accident,' he said softly. 'He's in the ICU.'
'I'm sorry,' she said sadly.
'What are you doing here?'
Grace pointed to the bed. Jack was laying there, with several tubes coming off him, not nearly as many as on James.
'End stage cancer,' she said sadly. 'He's been battling it for years. Its finally going to take him.'
'I'm sorry Grace. I didn't know.'
'Don't be,' she said and Harry was stunned to see she was smiling. 'He never really liked people to know. He wanted to live out the rest of his life without people feeling sorry for him. He's been in pain for years and sick for most of my life, and too proud to admit to both. But he wants this now. He wants to be free.'
They fell silent then and Harry sat down on one side of the bed, Grace on the other. And they just sat and watched Jack. The machines would beep every time he took a breath and Harry was starting to hold his breath if it didn't beep, waiting for the alarms to start.
'I'm sorry about New Years,' Grace said suddenly. 'I don't know what came over me. I've been sad for so long, growing up without a mother and having a father who was sick my whole life. I just felt happy that night, and very grateful to you for giving me that happy night, by pulling me out of the wreckage. And I just lost my mind.'
'It's ok,' Harry said. 'I wasn't mad, just shocked.'
'I don't know if I ever really said it, but thank you for what you did for me in Spain,' she reached over the bed and took hold of his hand.
'You're welcome,' Harry said, feeling very awkward.
It was at that moment that the machine didn't beep. Only a second passed before the alarms started. Nurses came running in, as did a doctor. Harry crossed over to Grace's side of the bed and they backed away and let the doctor do his thing.
'He's gone,' the doctor said to Grace solemnly after a few minutes. Grace sighed and Harry knew it was in relief.
It felt odd to Harry to be in this room, sharing in Grace's happy grief. These were people he hardly knew, people he wouldn't know if Ginny hadn't gone to the market that day. It felt strange to have emotions over this man dying, a man he had only met three times.
He excused himself from the room, only after promising Grace that they would keep in touch. He couldn't say it to her, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't see her again. Why fate had bought them together so many times, he did not know, but he felt sure it wouldn't happen again.
But something had happened to him in that room. It was only as he walked back towards the elevator that he realised. He wasn't shaking as much. His head felt clearer.
He actually felt like Harry for the first time in a very long time. Harry, who right now needed to be with his son.
~*~
Harry lived and breathed the hospital for the next week. Hermione took Lily, Albus, Rose and Hugo to Grimmauld Place and would bring them every day to visit, but Harry never left. The nurses took pity on him and allowed him to sit on a chair in the corner of James's room through the day and they even gave him access to the good coffee in the nurses lounge.
On the eighth day, Harry headed downstairs to the cafeteria and grabbed a tray of food and sat down in his usual corner and opened the paper. He was halfway through his breakfast when he heard rushing feet. He looked up over the top of the paper and saw one of the nurses that had been looking after James running towards him.
'Harry!' she called as she got closer (the formalities of being called 'Mr Potter' had vanished around the 3rd day). 'He's waking up!'
Harry didn't think twice. He jumped out of his seat and sprinted behind her, leaving his breakfast on the table. The elevator seemed to take forever to come down to their level and even longer to rise back to the ICU.
The nurse headed straight back into James's room, but Harry was stopped at the door by the doctor.
'Let us bring him around,' the doctor said firmly. 'Then you can see him.'
Harry watched anxiously through the glass as they did their work. Equipment was getting rushed in and out and it seemed more to Harry that they were trying to save him, not bring him around. After what seemed like forever, the doctor came back out and was actually smiling.
'He's awake,' he said, almost proudly. 'He can't speak yet; as he's still on breathing equipment and has a feeding tube, but we should be able remove them in the morning. He just needs to have a sleep without being medicated. But you can see him.'
Harry's hands started to shake as he walked into the room and looked at James. It was nice to see his eyes open, his eyes that were the exact same as Ginny's.
'It's nice to see you awake,' Harry said, bending over and kissing James on the forehead. He dragged the chair from the corner of them room and sat down next to the bed. 'Albus and Lily will be very happy to see you.'
James made a groaning noise and Harry took hold of the hand that didn't have an IV going into it.
'I hope you're not in too much pain. Can you squeeze my hand?' Harry felt a small stab of pain as James squeezed harder than he had expected him too. 'The doctor said he should be able to take the tubes away tomorrow morning. And then you'll be able to talk.'
James squeezed Harry's hand again and then closed his eyes for a long moment and then opened them again.
'Are you tired?' he asked and his hand was squeezed again. 'Get to sleep. I'll be in the waiting room. I…' Harry's voice faulted. 'I love you, James. And I'm so happy that you're awake.'