A/N: Here's the next chapter- mostly dialogue. Hope you enjoy!
"It makes me sick, Ron. I can't take it anymore."
"It's not….that bad…"
"Yes it is," Hermione hissed, the following afternoon in the stairwell, "and they're getting worse. She's always jamming her hand in the backpocket of his trousers and fingering his ties, her hands dancing all over his collar. It's sick."
"At least they're not snogging in public."
"Yeah, cos their doing it in abandoned broom cupboards," Hermione shot, her eyes grazing the ceiling in annoyance, "That's the next step, you know- kissing on empty common room couches, a quick French between classes- it's all downhill from here. Are you even listening?"
"What?" Ron lost the dreamy expression previously displayed on his freckled features, his eyes darting back to the disgruntled witch on the third stair.
"Were you daydreaming about the things I was saying?"
"Well, er…" a blush creeped up Ron's face as he avoided her gaze, refusing to answer her question.
"With whom?" Hermione asked with a smirk, eyes twinkling with mischief.
"It's not important! I thought we were talking about you?"
"This is true. But I'm not going to forget this little exchange…"she said with a pointed stare, Ron exhaling the breath he was holding, "I still don't see why you didn't confront Harry about yesterday's little escapade."
"Why would I? It was with my sister!"
"Didn't you talk about your flings with Lavender?"
"But she's not my sister-"
"Well, that's a relief, Ron- I'm glad you weren't shagging your sister. I don't think Molly would be too pleased…"
"Oh, sod off," Ron said with red ears, burying his face in his hands, "I mean she's not Harry's sister."
"Oh, right," Hermione sniggered, reveling in Ron's lack of proper grammar usage, "I still don't see why you didn't confront him."
"I don't want to know what all goes on between him and Ginny!"
"Well, don't think of it like that- and you don't have to ask him all the time, just ask him what happened yesterday."
"I'm not doing it. If you want to know so badly, you ask him."
"That's absolutely ridiculous! I can't bring that up in everyday conversation? It's a guy thing, Ron. But I guess you wouldn't know anything about that… Anyway, since you're no help I'll have to think of something else."
Ron glared at Hermione from beneath the banister, arms crossed in a huff as he watched her pace the stairs.
"What could I do to break them apart…or at least get him to notice me…" she said to herself, watching her feet cross the marble granite.
"What if we made him jealous?" Ron cried, jumping up and whacking his head on the balustrade.
"Jealous? What are you talking about?"
"Well, erm…uh" Ron blinked his eyes a few times, fiercely rubbing the knot forming on his crown, and continued, "You and me- we shack up and drive 'em both crazy!"
"Them both crazy?" Hermione asked with the cock of her brow.
"Like a swap, yeah?" he added excitedly, nodding his head at his brilliant plan.
"Alright, then. I'll give you first pick- which one do you want?" Hermione said flatly, rolling her eyes with impatience.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, Ron, you said it was a swap. Do you want Harry or Ginny? I'd prefer Harry myself, considering he's the one I'm after, but really it's your call."
"Well I guess I'll take- oh…"
"You know, I'm really starting to worry about you going after your sister… should I get you a pamphlet on incest?"
"Shut up, Hermione!" Ron yelled, refusing to look at the smugness on her face.
"It was a good try, Ron- honest," she said in a laughing voice, descending the stairs, "but we couldn't do that, come on. If we ended up together, you'd end up naming our children something like 'Rose and Hugo,'" she said off the top of her head, shooting Ron a pertinent glance.
"What's wrong with that?" he asked defensively, narrowing his eyes as he turned to look at her.
"Nobody should name their children that- sounds like a band of wild hippogriffs," Hermione reasoned, her voice rising with each syllable.
"So?"
"They're CHILDREN, Ron, not brainless ogres! Running around humping everything in sight and wiping their arse with a garden gnome. But I suppose your children could be."
"I'm not helping you anymore!" and Ron stormed off toward the west wing without another word, leaving an irritated Hermione in his wake.
She plopped down on the bottom stair, resting her chin in her hands, and resumed her thoughts to the situation impending. 'Ron really wasn't much help,' she thought, tapping her toes on the floor in random rhythm. 'Lavender as his sister…swapping me for Ginny- or Harry…' she smiled to herself as the image of Ron dating Harry danced through her head. 'Better him than Ginny…'
She snorted aloud at the vision, echoing down the corridor as a presence sat down behind her.
"Harry!" she gasped, startled at his sudden appearance.
"Hey, seen Ginny?"
"No," she murmured into her palm, lids drooping in disappointment.
"Where's Ron? I thought he was, er- with you," he finished awkwardly, giving her a weird grin.
Hermione eyed him suspiciously, "Yes, he was- earlier…"
"So, I came at a good time, then," he chuckled, ruffling the back of his hair.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, well, you know…" his cheeks were slightly pink as he avoided her gaze, scuffing a shoe on the patterned floor.
"NO, I don't know," Hermione asked heatedly, her eyes wild with fear.
"Ginny said- the other day- you and, er, Ron. Alone in the stairwell…you know-"
"Know WHAT?"
"Together."
"Together, talking," Hermione said in a callous tone, her breathing becoming uneven.
"You can tell me, Hermione, it's okay-"
"There's nothing to tell! Ron and I didn't do anything! I don't want to do anything with Ron! I want to do something with y-"
"There you are!" Ginny said out of breath, rounding the same corner from yesterday with brown eyes shining, "I've been looking all over."
"Me, too," Harry said with a grin, placing his hand on Hermione's leg to hoist himself up, "Where've you been?"
"Library," she replied with a smile, taking a step towards Harry.
"I was just in there-"
"Well, so was I," she said in a sing-song voice, rubbing her nose with his.
Hermione looked as if she was about to throw up, rocking back and forth on the stair.
"Alright, 'mione?" Harry asked, voice laden with concern.
"Peaches. You two meet here often, then?" she said nonchalantly, flicking her eyes to where Ginny just came from.
"Wha-"
"Come on, Harry, we've got to go," Ginny urged, dragging his arm down the corridor. "All the time, Hermione!" she called over her shoulder, shoving Harry around the corner, "See you!"
As they disappeared around the stony partition, Hermione buried her face in her hands, wishing all the gold in Gringott's she could trade places with Ginny for a day.
A/N: Poor Hermione : ( But it gets better, I promise! The next chapter may bump up the rating, I'm not sure yet. I hope I've peaked your interest… more H/Hr in the next installment <3
p.s.- review review review!!! :- )