Unofficial Portkey Archive

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Chapter 31: Phoenix Dormant

April 5 late

Harry settled into the overstuffed chair he'd conjured in the Headmaster's office. Hermione was snuggled into his side, half asleep. They'd only arrived minutes earlier, but she was exhausted. He was too and his muscles kept twitching from the after effects of the Cruciatus curse.

Dumbledore arrived via portkey from the Ministry with the rest of the Black Isle crew. He absentmindedly waved his wand, creating enough overstuffed chairs for the rest, already anticipating they'd want to share. He sank into the comfortable chair behind his desk with a sigh.

"I am feeling all of my years today." Dumbledore sighed.

"You weren't hurt, were you, sir?" Harry asked.

"No," Dumbledore said, "just worn by tonight's efforts and worry. I am very relieved everyone returned. Even though we were unable to end Voldemort's reign of terror, that alone would have made it a successful night, let alone exposing many of the Death Eaters, including Lucius Malfoy. Exposing Voldemort's return alone would have made it worthwhile."

Harry nodded. The Ministry couldn't deny it now, too many had seen.

"Headmaster, I have to ask," Harry said carefully, "what took the Order so long to arrive? We expected you much sooner."

"Harry, I should have anticipated it, but Voldemort surprised me." Dumbledore said, "He prepared as if he knew there would be a reserve force coming in to help you. Seconds after your portkey arrived near the Ministry, a powerful anti-apparition, anti-portkey ward went up. Only Voldemort could have cast something so powerful. It took Bill Weasley and I over half an hour to break those wards. Meanwhile, the Death Eaters apparently have someone in the floo network, much as I expected, so that entry was blocked to us, as well. It was not open until the aurors floo'd in, which you saw."

Harry nodded. He's suspected something similar. The delay had almost cost lives, though, and would merit consideration in future planning.

"I'm sorry, sir." Harry finally offered, "I wasn't able to beat him."

"Harry…" Dumbledore said, "please, no apologies are necessary. It is amazing that you could even face him. I had planned to be there and for it to be both of us. That you faced him alone and survived is a testament to your unique abilities."

Harry nodded, not completely convinced.

"He has clearly been recruiting." Dumbledore continued, "The Order of the Phoenix estimate for total numbers of Death Eaters was around fifty. They have never needed large numbers, since their attacks are random. Many of the captured or killed Death Eaters were unknown to us and many seemed foreign. Whatever caused him to recruit, I think we can only assume he will increase his efforts after this defeat. Now he knows you have progressed to be a real threat to him."

Harry nodded sadly. He'd ruined their chances to beat Voldemort by complete surprise. He might never get the chance to face him in individual combat again.

"Do not blame yourself." Albus said gently, "There were many unexpected obstacles. I am very pleased we still emerged victorious. I am going to escort you all to the infirmary. I want Madame Pomfrey to evaluate you. Get some sleep as soon as you can. Classes start early in the morning."

They did as Dumbledore requested. Hermione was completely uninjured, her forced burning day regenerating her completely. She resolved to keep in mind how limited her phoenix abilities would be for a time. Luna had exhausted herself and only rest would resolve that. Hermione had fixed Neville's nose and Poppy approved her work. Ron and Ginny had been stunned, but were otherwise ok. Harry had been hit by the Cruciatus curse and received several potions to help the neurological sequelae to the torture curse. He was surprised when Poppy let him return to his dorm room.

"You're getting older, Mr. Potter." Madame Pomfrey said with a smile, "I know Miss Granger will make sure you take your potions."

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April 6

Harry knew it was going to be a rough day when he walked into the Great Hall for breakfast. They'd all woken late, tired from the previous day and late night in the infirmary, so they were among the last down to breakfast. Apparently the Daily Prophet had already arrived, because as soon as Harry walked in there was complete silence. At least until Cedric stood up and began applauding. Cho quickly jumped up to join him. The rest of the DA soon followed and soon almost everybody except some of Slytherin house and notably Delores Umbridge at the Head Table were on their feet applauding Harry. He felt a confusing mixture of emotions. Where were all these people when the Daily Prophet had made him out to be an attention seeking liar? However, he felt good to be vindicated, even if it was almost a year late. The Quibbler article was a start and this was the culmination of the reversal of the destruction of his reputation.

Umbridge sat, again at her place as the Defense against the Dark Arts Professor, glaring at Harry. He just smirked back. With Dumbledore in the Headmaster's seat and Minister Fudge trying desperately to hold onto a crumbling political career, Harry was confident she wouldn't continue to be much of a problem at all. For once the curse on the DADA Professorship was a blessing.

The Twins handed him a copy of the Prophet as soon as he sat down, smiling at him.

"Weren't famous enough, huh Harry?" Fred asked.

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"Well, let's just say our silent partner is not escaping his fame anytime soon." George smirked.

Harry looked at the article. The largest picture was Harry flying towards an also airborne Voldemort, a fireball right behind him. The photo progressed until Voldemort tried to hit Harry with the jet black sword, Harry disappeared, and Voldemort got blasted to the ground by the explosion caused by dispelling the Fiendfyre. A smaller picture showed Hermione stroking Harry's hair as Voldemort was forced to flee in the background. He quickly read the article, noting the byline was Rita Skeeter's. Noting the ridiculous amount of detail, he realized what must have happened.

"She was there, wasn't she?" Harry asked.

"Yes, she was." Hermione said, "I agreed she could come with us, understanding how much risk there would be. She rode in on my robes and was there for the whole thing."

"She's braver than I thought." Harry said.

"This is going to guarantee her career." Hermione observed, "For once, not due to fabrication. I'm hoping the recognition might continue to steer her towards honest reporting, which she is uniquely suited for given her…advantages."

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Easter Holidays gave them a chance to rest and recover. Harry visited with Sirius and Remus Friday and Saturday, then spent Sunday with the Grangers, even attending their church service.

"What do you think of the Daily Prophet's coverage of your little confrontation, pup?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

Harry groaned.

"Well, the good thing is that the Fudge government probably isn't going to last the month." Harry said, "I think that's why Hermione let Skeeter come with us. His fall should take Umbridge down with him, at least we're hoping."

"Don't count on it, pup." Sirius warned, "If she had an animagus form, it would probably be a cockroach."

"Not a toad?" Harry asked, laughing.

"No, that's her usual form." Sirius joked back.

Sunday night they returned to school. Harry wondered what the dynamic was going to be with Umbridge in class. Her power had been seriously curtailed, but she was the vengeful type. It was only a question of how she was going to try to pay them back that was in question. When he'd brought up his concerns with Hermione, an evil looking smile had come across her face.

"Don't worry about Toad-bitch." Hermione said, uncharacteristically, "I've got a plan for her."

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12 April

Career advice had been…interesting. He'd expressed that he might be interested in being an Auror or Hit Wizard. McGonagall had calmly told him what the academic requirements were and said he was on track to meet them, if he kept his grades as high as they'd been for the past two years. Umbridge had interrupted and said he had no chance of becoming an Auror given his record with the Ministry and his current DADA scores. McGonagall had ended up insisting that she would help him become an Auror if it took daily individual tutoring.

Later, Harry sat in Defense against the Dark Arts, wondering at how nothing felt like it had changed. A week ago he'd fought Voldemort to a draw and had defeated his minions. Now he was back in class learning Defense from a toad that probably couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag. Hermione had asked McGonagall to look through old school records and Umbridge had barely passed her Defense NEWT with an acceptable, never going on to do further study in the field, hardly a qualification for a Professor.

They received back their most recent essays and Harry was unsurprised to find he had received a 'T'. He was again baffled to see that Hermione had received a 'P', though. Even Umbridge had to realize her work was really amazing.

"Everyone has received their most recent essays." Umbridge said in her sickeningly sweet voice, "So please turn to the next chapter in your Slinkhard books and read."

Hermione raised her hand as high as it would go. Umbridge acted like she would ignore her at first, but when nobody in class opened their books, watching Hermione instead, Delores finally called on her.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Professor Umbridge, there is no real feedback on my essays." Hermione said coolly, "There is just a failing grade with no comments as to why."

The class gasped, hearing that Hermione had received a poor grade. Even Lavender and Parvati looked angry.

"That's because I thought the reasons were clear, Miss Granger." Umbridge continued, "I know it's difficult for those of you raised in the Muggle world to understand magic, but as you can read in your text and as I've clearly taught, there's no reason for offensive spell casting, especially by children. Your essays are full of ever more creative ways to harm others and I think it hints at a derangement. Further, I have given you an excellent textbook, but you insist on writing your essays based on multiple extraneous sources. I don't know why you haven't figured out how to quote the insightful Wilbert Slinkhard."

Harry had to muffle a snort. Hermione was actually being punished for using multiple sources. His fiancée was actually speechless for a few moments.

"I request that my essays be regarded by a qualified instructor." Hermione finally retorted, "Professor Snape has applied for the Defense Professorship a number of times, I would be satisfied by him or Professor Flitwick, he was a dueling champion."

"A half-breed Goblin." Umbridge snorted under her breath, but clearly audible, then continued in a louder voice, "I am the Defense Professor, Miss Granger. I am afraid there is no appeal for the grades I have assigned you and which you have clearly earned."

"So you continue to say I do not understand Defense against the Dark Arts?" Hermione asked.

"No, you clearly do not." Umbridge stated.

"I say you lie." Hermione said clearly.

There was a louder gasp around the room. Calling another Wizard a liar merited only one response - an apology or a challenge to a duel. This facet of Wizarding culture was one reason Harry's portrayal in the Daily Prophet had been so slanderous.

Umbridge's mouth dropped open and she stared at Hermione, who maintained eye contact.

"Miss Granger!" Umbridge finally snapped, "You will apologize and then report to Professor McGonagall for your punishment!"

"I will not apologize." Hermione said clearly.

"You do not understand." Umbridge said, "That might be said casually among your kind, but among Wizards and Witches, it is understood you may not say such things."

"I understand exactly what I'm saying." Hermione insisted, "The fact that you neither deny it nor offer the usual remedy suggests you don't disagree."

Umbridge was again silent, then managed to say, "It would be inappropriate for a staff member to duel with a student!"

"Perhaps not, Professor." Hermione said, clearly having thought this through, "Perhaps we could conduct it as a demonstration for the entire school. I am willing to propose such a course to the Headmaster. Perhaps before dinner?"

Delores seemed to realize she'd been backed into a corner. If she refused to defend herself against Hermione's accusation, her reputation would be destroyed. She seemed to gather herself, drawing herself up to emphasize each of her approximately five feet of height.

"Miss Granger, since you refuse to apologize for your accusation of dishonesty, I am forced to challenge you to a Witch's duel. I will coordinate with the Staff. Unless you hear otherwise, I will expect to see you prior to dinner in the Great Halll, otherwise you will be without honor."

Hermione nodded happily.

"I look forward to showing who really understands Defense, Professor." Hermione said smiling.

The class went back to pretending to read, but the level of excitement was almost palpable. A fight between Umbridge and Granger!

Harry was somewhat stunned. He would have expected Hermione to have shared this kind of plan with him or to have sensed it across the bond. He could feel a sort of smug contentment from her at the moment.

<You didn't think to tell me your plan?> Harry sent across the bond, the mental communication growing even easier since their animagus transformation. His feeling of hurt was transmitted.

<Admit it, you always thought it would be you confronting her.> Hermione sent back, not angrily but matter-of-factly.

<Well…yes.> Harry said, surprised it was even a question.

<Well, you're going to learn, it does not always have to be you.> Hermione sent back, <Voldemort's yours, I understand why, but you are not going to wrap me in bubble wrap to keep me safe. If you beat Umbridge, there would be a certain amount of bad feeling since she's a woman. When I beat her, there won't be any of that. Sure, I'm Muggleborn, which might cause some grumbling, but I'm going to bet she's not too popular.>

Harry thought about it and Hermione was right, both about how it would look for him to duel Umbridge and how he tried to protect Hermione.

<I screwed up in the Ministry fight.> Hermione sent, her feeling of embarrassment and a strong feeling of determination to fix her mistake coming across the bond, <We've focused on you with the dueling training and I think that's completely appropriate, but I have to do more than just absorb the skills passively from you. That works, but is not nearly as effective as actually drilling it until it's second nature. I was treating that fight as more of a game. Most of the Death Eaters were nothing more than cannon fodder, but I let that fool me into treating all of them like that. Dolohov, Bellatrix, and Malfoy at least were better than that and I almost let that mistake kill both of us.>

<Anyone could have made that mistake.> Harry sent back, <That was really a first for you. Ron and I fought the troll, I fought the basilisk, I fought off the Dementors, I fought in the tournament… you haven't had the opportunity to get into a lot of scrapes.>

<Exactly.> Hermione said, <So Umbridge is mine. Back off, Potter!>

Harry could easily 'hear' Hermione's teasing tone, despite the fact that he knew she was serious, she didn't intend to be mean to her bondmate, just wanted to make it very clear she was an equal partner and not only their resident bookworm researcher, but on the battlefield as well. He didn't necessarily like it, but he understood it and wouldn't have expected anything else from her.

They went directly to McGonagall, who floo'd Flitwick and Dumbledore. Dumbledore reported that Umbridge had already formally made the request to him and he'd approved the demonstration duel. Dinner was immediately after Defense Against the Dark Arts, so after insuring the coordination was in order, the couple hurried to the Great Hall.

"You don't want to change into your dueling robes?" Harry asked.

"No." Hermione said, "I'm going to fight in my Hogwarts uniform. I'll show everyone how afraid I am of the toad."

They reached the Great Hall and there was a constant murmuring from the students. The staff had already moved the tables against the walls, leaving a wide open space in the middle. McGonagall transfigured a raised dueling platform exactly like the one they'd used during Lockhart's failed dueling club. Harry knew Hermione had learned since her fight with Bulstrode and expected to see a very different outcome.

Dumbledore himself erected dueling wards to prevent serious injuries and to protect the spectators. After he finished, he stood upon the raised platform and spoke.

"Welcome, Hogwarts students and staff! We have a rare treat today. One of our staff members, Professor Delores Umbridge, Defense against the Dark Arts, has challenged one of our Gryffindor Prefects, Miss Hermione Granger, to a Witch's duel. This duel will be limited to include no unforgiveables, but otherwise spell choice is up to the combatants. Professor Flitwick, our Charms Professor and a prior All-Europe Dueling Champion, will officiate. Professor Flitwick?" Professor Dumbledore strode to the end of the platform, behind Umbridge. Flitwick took the platform behind Hermione. His squeaky voice rang through the entire room, courtesy of a sonorous spell.

"This is a duel of honor." Flitwick began, "Miss Granger, you have said that Professor Umbridge has falsely stated that you do not understand Defense against the Dark Arts. Is this true?"

"It is, Professor." Hermione said clearly, her voice unwavering.

"Will you apologize for what you've said?" Flitwick asked.

"No, sir." Hermione said.

"Professor Umbridge, you have challenged Miss Granger to this duel to prove your honor. Do you still assert that when she called you a liar, she was wrong?"

"I do." Umbridge said with a sneer for the half-Goblin.

"Very well, then." Professor Flitwick said, "You may use any spell you care to aside from the Unforgiveables. The duel begins when the scarf hits the ground. Please salute."

Delores Umbridge was wearing pink dueling robes and a crocheted pink hat. She looked imperious despite her short stature. She gave a tiny little flick of her wand in salute, clearly showing no respect for her Muggleborn opponent.

Hermione stood opposite her. Her trademark bushy brown hair was still essentially the same as it always had been, although she'd learned to control it to some extent it defied real taming as much as Harry's did. She was now tall for a woman and athletic, clearly used to exerting her body. Her pale springtime complexion was the only sign she spent most of her time in the library. She wore an almost knee length pleated wool skirt which was completely appropriate to the school dress code, in keeping with her role as a Prefect, but on the elevated stage it was just inches away from exposing her to the audience on the floor, particularly those close to the platform, and showed bare skin between her knee high stockings and the hem. Her calves and thighs were well muscled from her magically enhanced physical training with Ashdown and from the large number of stairs at Hogwarts. She had on a white oxford under her jumper. The jumper downplayed rather than accentuated her breasts, but it was clear to the greedy eyes of the teenage boys in the audience that they were of a size proportionate to her frame and firm. She took a second to loosen her Gryffindor red and gold tie and unbutton the top button of the shirt, but that was her only allowance to what she was about to do. She stretched her neck one way and then the other, a steely gaze settling over her features, looking not unlike Harry when he let the Machine take over. She gave a very crisp and respectful salute to Umbridge, showing respect for the protocols of honor if nothing else.

Flitwick levitated a silk scarf with the Hogwarts badge dyed into it. He released his spell and the scarf floated lazily to the platform. The instant it hit, Umbridge attacked.

"Stupefy!" she called out, making an exaggerated wand movement like a schoolgirl just learning the spell would.

Hermione calmly watched the red bolt approach her, before flicking out a non-verbal shield, sending the stunner flashing into the evening sky shown on the ceiling. The corner of her mouth curled upward in contempt and she put her left hand on her cocked hip, tapping her foot impatiently, her body language clearly saying, 'Is that all you've got?'

"Reducto!" Umbridge called. Hermione somehow created a portal that simply swallowed this attack, not wanting to risk damage to the legendary Great Hall ceiling, even though the dueling wards should prevent any.

"Confringo!" she yelled, waiting to watch it parried, before attacking again.

"Diffindo!"

"Percutio!" Umbridge yelled, frustrated. Hermione laughed that not only did she use the incantation, a horribly inefficient wand movement, but she used one of the longer incantations for the piercing hex instead of their preferred 'foro'.

Hermione calmly defended against all her attacks. Then she spoke in a calm but carrying voice.

"You have all seen here exactly how NOT to duel." Hermione said, her tone a mix between her own lecturing tone and Harry's DA voice, "Professor Umbridge has used individual spells with long gaps between, giving me ages to respond. She used verbal incantations, letting me know exactly what was coming. Her wand movements were so large I have to assume they represent a bad habit picked up from being a teacher and using motions students can follow."

Hermione quickly whipped her wand through a string of five stinging hexes, casting non-verbally. Umbridge was struck by each, not even managing a shield in time, having apparently waited for an incantation before reacting. The professor let out painful exclamations with each.

"Ow, ow, ow!" she shouted, wrapping her left arm over her face and turning away, only to receive the final, most powerful stinging hex in her plump rear end.

Hermione shook her head. "This is more appropriate, I cast several offensive spells together, making them more difficult to defend against, although apparently she didn't even try. If I wanted to end this quickly, the moment when she obscured her own vision would have been a perfect opportunity, but I don't want to interrupt my lecture."

Umbridge was rapidly turning an ugly shade of puce.

"Bombarda!" she shouted. The spell glanced off a reflecting shield Hermione raised and directly back at her. Umbridge fell to her knees and ducked underneath her own spell, it missing her by centimeters. The crowd cringed, afraid they were going to see the woman turned into mince.

"Chaining spells is clearly superior." Hermione lectured, while simultaneously casting a constant chain of stinging hexes, "If you practice enough and have enough magical power, you can keep it up almost indefinitely, especially with weaker spells."

Umbridge danced around her end of the stage, swatting at the nasty little hexes. Her face began to grow bumpy where she was hit and her body was likely much worse, bearing the brunt of Hermione's attacks.

"It is unclear, but the way she's moving suggests she may be trying to dodge my attacks." Hermione observed dispassionately, "If so, this is usually a good option for defense, but must be practiced to be useful. You can see that I can do this all day."

Delores' dancing away from the painful little stings was becoming less and less animated, eventually becoming little more than twitching. McGonagall covered her face, trying to hide her mirth at how thoroughly Hermione was taking Umbridge apart.

"The bludgeoning hex is another good one for the beginning duelist." Hermione stated, "It's offensive, but not lethal. At least not at the power levels most can cast it."

She suited action to her words, hitting the pink-robed woman in the gut with an intermediate powered bludgeoning hex. Umbridge sank to her knees, dry heaving.

"Oh, get up Professor." Hermione said impatiently, "Do you see now why practical defense is important, particularly when you ascribe to Pureblood customs? Even for those of you who will never confront Voldemort, you should at least know how to defend yourselves."

Umbridge dragged herself to her feet.

"Now, one of Professor Umbridge's reasons for grading me poorly is that I was too 'creative'." Hermione continued, "Creative spell choices is helpful, particularly against an experienced opponent. You may surprise him or her. I like using medical texts for suggestions. Nauseo!"

The sickly green colored spell was a very different color than the Killing Curse. It was disgusting to look at, like a cross between split pea soup, vomit, and baby poop. It hit Umbridge and her lumpy reddened face seemed to take on a similar green tinge and she repeated her actions from earlier, dry heaving on the platform.

"Fluxio!" Hermione cast and Umbridge looked even a sicker shade of green, holding her belly and crossing her legs. Everyone could hear the grumbles from her gut.

"You can see that even minor physiological attacks can be quite incapacitating." Hermione said, "I don't want this to go any further for our sakes, but you can imagine." She flicked her wand in a non-verbal finite and Umbridge's illness abated.

"Now I have a weakness for truly creative spells." Hermione said happily, "I could turn my opponent inside out, which tends to be quite uncomfortable…". She made a threatening gesture with her wand and Umbridge flinched, almost crying in fear, "Muggle science actually offers a lot of creative options, which Purebloods can't even understand, let alone defend against. I've used gravity alterations and like the result. I could transfigure a femtogram of her pituitary into antimatter and her skull would contain the resulting very explosive reaction fairly effectively." Hermione tapped her wand into her left hand contemplatively, cocking her head as if to examine the pathetic pink-robed professor more thoroughly.

"This is too much pathos for my personal preference, however." Hermione said, "Revealing a bigot's ignorance is amusing in small quantities, but I'm growing embarrassed now. The traditional way of ending a duel is with a stunning spell, an incarcerating spell, a body bind, or a disarming jinx. As a tribute to my wonderful fiancée, I will demonstrate the latter."

Hermione gave a quick non-verbal expelliarmus and Umbridge's wand clattered to the platform. The room exploded in applause as the students clapped for the complete humiliation of the usurping former-Headmistress. Hermione smiled at her fellow students and especially at Professor McGonagall, who despised the toad. She gave a little bow and McGonagall gave a small salute.

Meanwhile Umbridge crawled to her wand. "Avada kedavra!"

The green bolt streaked upward from Umbridge laying on the floor of the platform at Hermione. Hermione shoulder rolled out of the way, giving her male admirers a greatly appreciated finale. The Killing Curse, on an upward vector, hit the ceiling with a splash of energy against the dueling wards as they absorbed the power. Hermione rolled her wand in a complicated figure. Umbridge's body twisted and pulled, painfully it appeared as she cried out. Seconds later, a giant grey-green toad sat where Umbridge had been.

"Another lesson…" Hermione said, standing shakily, quickly helped up by her fiancée as he leapt to the platform, "that I learned, almost fatally, in the Ministry. Always pay attention until you're sure your enemy is helpless."

From stunned silence at the Unforgiveable, the crowd once again burst into applause. Hermione smiled and walked to the stair to the Great Hall floor. Dumbledore once more took his place.

"Miss Granger once more demonstrates her academic credentials in a very convincing way." Dumbledore said, "I'm afraid Defense against the Dark Arts will need a new instructor, as I suspect Madame Umbridge will be unable to teach from Azkaban. You will be informed as to the new schedule. Now, you're probably all hungry after that excellent demonstration, so with no delay, please enjoy your dinner." With a gesture from Dumbledore, all the tables were in their usual places, the students moved effortlessly with them. He summoned a pair of House Elves, who disappeared with Umbridge still in toad form.

Harry leaned over and whispered to Hermione, "I thought you were a goner! You've got to quit turning your back!"

Hermione looked at him, her eyes welling up with tears. "I didn't this time, Harry! Honestly! I wanted her to think I had stopped paying attention, but I was still very aware. I suspected she might do this. Ron and I agreed that taunting her until she lost all control and used an Unforgiveable would be the best way to remove her from the picture all together. She is simply too dangerous to leave at our back. She could corrupt any government she was a part of and she probably knows were enough skeletons are buried to avoid punishment for anything other than an Unforgiveable."

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The next several weeks were a blur. Hermione was busy every hour of every day, but seemed happy. She was revising for OWLs almost constantly. Harry had been right… she only increased her pace as the tests got closer, even though they were over a month away. She sent letters back and forth with her mother frequently, too, making last minute decisions regarding the wedding. She'd had to floo to Diagon Alley several times for further fittings on the wedding dress at Madame Malkin's. Neville continued to work on the flowers with Professor Sprout, while Winky reviewed plans with Hermione on how to arrange them once they were grown. She discussed music with him, trying to make sure his favorites were played. He didn't have the heart to tell her he'd never been to a wedding before, but steered her to picking all of her favorites. Hermione had finally figured out to use a pensieve to let Filius hear the Muggle songs she wanted played during the wedding, so he could charm the Great Hall to play them during the ceremony. The little Professor had look intrigued listening to the songs.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Hermione had asked in return.

"Is that all there is to the songs?" Filius had asked, "It sounds like they've limited the number of instruments playing."

"No, that's a full orchestra." Hermione had responded.

"What's a full orchestra?" Filius had asked in response.

"Oh, this is frustrating." Hermione had sighed, "Maybe you can give me an example of a song that doesn't have a limited number of instruments playing?"

Filius had nodded and charmed the room to play a similar type of song, but without the limitation of actually having to have performers playing and the limitless nature of magic, there were so many complex elements to the song with complicated underlying harmonies only available with magic.

"Wait, so why haven't we ever heard anything like this before!" Hermione protested, "Why not at the Yule Ball? The Weird Sisters were good, but they didn't sound anything like this."

"Well, a few reasons…" Flitwick said, "the Weird Sisters actually play, so they couldn't add in all the extra elements. Besides, this complex music is only possible for Charms Masters. It takes too much skill for just anyone to cast the spells required. We typically reserve it for weddings. It keeps it special."

Hermione nodded, her eyes going unfocused.

"It's really beautiful." She said.

"Thank you." Filius responded, "Music has always been an interest of mine. It's one of the things that led me to Charms as a field. I'm actually intrigued by the Muggle music. I think it could be adapted and would be really unique, since nobody there will have heard it that way before."

Hermione smiled, "That would be really wonderful, Professor Flitwick."

"Then it will be worthwhile, Miss Granger." Filius said, smiling at the bushy haired girl who was one of the favorite students of many of the professors, given her true love of learning.

Harry wasn't as busy as Hermione. She pulled him into her revising schedule, but he didn't have nearly as much to do with the wedding. He continued to duel regularly with Dumbledore, refining what he'd learned and adding as much more as he could. He also continued to duel with Alex, which was enjoyable for both men. During the dueling portion of the DA, he started challenging the members, striving to duel each of them so he could give them focused feedback.

Having seen how busy Hermione was, he decided he wanted to plan something nice for her. He practiced working with Room of Requirement to get it to do exactly what he wanted it to. He talked to John Ashdown next time he saw him and asked for special instruction.

"John, I need to learn something and I thought you might know who could teach me." Harry said one weekend while Hermione was with her parents.

"What's that, Harry?" John asked, "We've gotten your own conditioning to about the maximum we can push it, given that you're optimized for speed. Need me to work with you on Quidditch?"

"No, I feel good there." Harry said, surprisingly embarrassed to just come out and ask what he wanted to learn, "The athletes you work with, do they get rub downs or something like that?"

"Sure, Harry!" John said, "Need one? Sore?"

"No, not me." Harry said hurriedly, "I want to learn how so I can give Hermione a massage. She's so busy studying and preparing for the wedding, I want to do something nice for her."

"Oh, no problem, Harry!" John said, "Do you have a table somewhere? Or I can transfigure one, I suppose."

"I have the perfect room available." Harry said.

He took John to the Room of Requirement, configured like he'd planned for Hermione's surprise. There was a portion almost exactly like the Prefect's Bath, but adjacent to it was a massage table.

"Great!" John said, "This will work perfectly. I'll teach you the way I was taught."

He pulled out what looked like a rubber racquetball. He quickly transfigured it into a life size mannequin with clear skin and muscle groups clearly visible through. John taught Harry the different muscle groups, then demonstrated how to manually relax them.

"Your ability with wandless magic should really help, Harry. If you focus it like this, you can warm the muscles. Like this, you can relax them even more. With magic, you can really make a massage very relaxing and healing for the recipient."

Harry soaked up all that John could teach him.

"You're a really good student, Harry." John told him at the end, "I think you've learned all I can teach you in the quick version. If you want to do it for a living, let me know. You could be really exceptional."

"Thanks, John." Harry said with a grin, "Hermione will really appreciate it. Maybe I'll spread my skills around the team, now that I've learned."

"You'd be surprised how much it can improve healing." John said on his way out.

Hermione returned to Hogwarts after a long weekend of dress fittings and wedding planning. She went to her room first, planning to find Harry afterwards. Propped up on her nightstand where she was sure to see it was a crisp white card with one line of writing on it in flowing script. Harry had been working hard to improve his really poor handwriting since it drove Hermione nuts and while he still used it as an excuse sometimes, it had gotten a lot better, especially when he tried. The card said:

"Follow the rose petals. Wear the cloak."

Hermione noticed the card was charmed so only she would see it. She looked down and saw red rose petals on the floor leading out the door of the girl's dorm. She knew they hadn't been there a moment before and could see they were also charmed that nobody else would see them. Harry's invisibility cloak sat carefully folded on her bed.

"Harry, what are you planning?" Hermione wondered to herself as she followed them.

Hermione first followed them down to the Great Hall. They led up to the Head Table. It was late and so there was nobody in the Great Hall. On the center of the table there was another crisp white card with careful handwriting.

"Our story really started on the train - but here's where we were sorted together."

Hermione's mind went to the day they'd met, while she'd been searching for Trevor, Neville's lost toad. She remembered the trip across the lake and how nervous she'd been during the sorting. She'd expected Ravenclaw, but being sorted into Gryffindor had put her with Ron and Harry, which had changed her life. A new line appeared on the card:

"Keep going."

The rose petals led out of the Great Hall and to the first-floor girl's lavatory. Hermione already knew where this was headed. She followed the rose petals inside. On the sink there was one of the familiar cards. In the mirror over the sink, the whole room was in view and her memories of that day were still as fresh as ever.

"Where our friendship really began. Keep going…"

Hermione followed the rose petals to the previously forbidden hallway on the third floor. She remembered when they'd found Fluffy. She followed the petals to the room that had the logic puzzle and found a small table with a crisp white card.

"The first time love was (almost) mentioned between us. Keep going…"

Hermione felt a warm glow in her heart. Harry was leading her along many of the special spots that had featured in their relationship. For someone who almost never talked about his feelings, this was a really dramatic romantic gesture. She followed the rose petals to the second floor girl's lavatory. In the exact spot where she'd brewed polyjuice potion their second year she found another note.

"Another place you showed me how brilliant you are…and how far you'll go for your friends. You were the cutest cat-girl ever. Keep going…"

Hermione blushed, embarrassed more by the memory of her error than Harry calling her cute, although that still could make her feel a bit warm, even this far into their relationship. She tried to guess where the next card would be. She followed the trail to the infirmary.

"I missed you for three weeks even though I sat by you ever chance I could get. I hope we're never apart that long again. Keep going…"

She followed the rose petals and found a card. Sketched on the card was a broom.

"You worried for me even then and even when I didn't appreciate it. Keep going…"

That card felt different. When she held it she realized it was a portkey. She tapped it with her wand and was on the grounds. A card sat on the ground. From there she could see where they'd been attacked by Dementors and Harry had driven them off.

"Our soul bond started here, but was really a continuation of something that started long before and that I hope keeps going…"

This card was also a portkey and took her to an empty classroom. She recognized the classroom where she'd practiced the summoning charm with Harry until they'd both almost fallen asleep.

"I couldn't have done it without you. Keep going…"

The card carried her to a spot outside the castle. Her arrival triggered a spell and a small flurry of snow fell in a very limited area, reminding her of the snowball fight before the Yule Ball.

"Where I put my promise ring on your finger. Keep going…"

To the Great Hall again:

"Where we danced the night away. Keep going…"

This card portkeyed her to the very edge of the lake.

"You were and always will be what I would miss most. Keep going…"

She picked up the card and shuddered with a feeling of love so strong she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. The feeling of phoenix song was the only thing that could even come close to feeling the same. The card took her to a small stand of trees near Hogsmeade.

"Where we became engaged. I will always remember that day. Keep going…"

She followed this portkey to the Quidditch pitch.

"You did what Hogwarts a History says you shouldn't be able to do, just to save me. Keep going…"

This card led her to the Dungeon classroom where they'd spent so much time dueling.

"Where you helped me prepare for my destiny. We practiced here and one other room. Keep going…"

She followed a new trail of rose petals to the seventh floor. In front of the door to the Room of Requirement was a card.

"Supposedly inside this room is whatever you most need, but I've discovered that can't be the case, because right now I'm inside and you're out here. Please, come inside."

She opened the door into a dimly lit room with only candles for light. It was the perfect temperature inside, neither too hot nor too cold. She had a feeling it would warm up as she cooled down from her walk. There was a place to for her clothes and she could see Harry sitting in a filled tub that looked exactly like the Prefect's Bath. She quickly undressed. The entire walk, although long, had been like a very romantic trip through her memories with Harry. There was no way he could have captured all of their memories. If she walked through every square inch of Hogwarts and set foot on every stone, she still thought she'd miss some place that carried a memory of him. She was unsurprised to realize she was already wet and her nipples were as hard as pebbles. Harry had managed to make the entire scavenger hunt like an extended bout of psychological foreplay.

She slipped into the warm water, just slightly warmer than seemed comfortable at first, but her body relaxed into it and she could feel every muscle in her body loosening. The scent was her favorite combination from the Prefect's Bath. Harry had taken the trouble to mix it properly, which was no easy feat.

"You sweet man." She said, slipping towards him.

"You liked it?" Harry asked, "I worried it was too long. I knew you would be tired."

"Not too tired for that." Hermione murmured, "Or anything else you have planned."

"The rest of what I have planned is more relaxing." Harry grinned. He offered her a crystal wine glass, filled with a red wine. She rarely drank anything alcoholic, but her parents had allowed her some wine, particularly when they were traveling in France. As she took a sip, she realized this was something really special.

"What is this?" she asked.

"Sirius helped me get it. He said if I wanted to impress you, it was a good choice. He said something like 'La-feet Rothschild'."

Hermione was incredibly well read and had a suspicion that this was a finer wine than her parents had probably ever indulged themselves in, but she let that go. Harry's wealth didn't mean much of anything to him and it was one of the things she loved about him.

She decided she would be more comfortable sitting on something other than the bench, so she climbed onto Harry's lap and leaned back into him. He stroked her belly with one hand while he kissed her neck gently. She slowly sipped her wine and let the warmth of the water steal all the tension from her muscles. Harry's hand wandered everywhere except where she most wanted it.

"Harry, touch me." She whined quietly.

"I am touching you." He grinned, "Almost everywhere possible, actually."

"Not everywhere." She complained.

"The goal is to relax you." Harry said.

"That does relax me." She replied lazily.

"Soak a little bit longer and have a bit more wine." Harry said, "There's more surprise for you."

"More?" she purred.

She did as he said and right before she hit the stage where she'd soaked too long, Harry made a gesture. Another set of candles lit and she could see a high, narrow bed, draped with perfect white sheets. Quiet music had been playing in the background the entire time and it seemed to be originating from near the bed. It was still quiet, but perhaps just a bit more noticeable. Harry picked her up and wrapped her in a real Turkish cotton towel, which gently soaked all the water from her body. He placed her gently face down on the bed, then did something with his wand that made the bed adjust to her every curve. She felt supported all over, but with no pressure points anywhere.

"Oh, I really am going to fall asleep now." Hermione murmured, "Why is the bed so narrow? You won't fit on it with me."

"It's a massage table." Harry said, "Relax and let me massage you."

Harry poured some oil into his hand and gently rubbed it into her shoulders, just skimming her at first, just hard enough not to tickle. He slowly increased his pressure, his fingers seeming to feel every place there was tension and teasing it out. She felt his magic spreading out from his fingers, spreading warmth and seeming to massage her as well. He chased all the tension from her upper back, following her spine up to the base of her skull, removing all the tension from her neck. He gave her a lovely scalp massage, letting his fingers run through her long bushy brown locks and his fingernails gently scratch at her scalp. He rubbed her temples, then followed her neck back to her shoulders. He individually massaged each muscle in her arms until they felt like wet noodles. He went back to her shoulders, making sure none of the tension had returned, then followed her spine, pressing all the tightness out of the long straps of muscle to each side. He rubbed her lower back, providing enough pressure that her spine made a long crackling sound as each individual vertebrae popped against the others with no muscular tension to lock them in place. She felt boneless, like a snake. His hands continued down and he rubbed her gluteals, some of the largest muscles in the human body. His hands felt so sensual with the massage oil making every movement slide along her skin, never catching. She subtly moved her legs apart, hoping he would touch everywhere. While he wasn't shy and didn't avoid anything, he didn't linger anywhere either. Harry massaged all the tension from her gluteals and then started down her thighs. She thought she might come as he fingers casually brushed her soaking wet sex, but he didn't hesitate and continued down her thighs. He did the same thing he'd done in her arms, returning each muscle in her thighs to the softest, supplest state it could possibly achieve. His work on her calves felt like perfection. She never realized how much tension she held there, but as he removed it, she could feel it by the absence.

She realized she'd almost fallen asleep when he turned her onto her back. She wasn't sure whether he used magic or just lifted her, but it was smooth and she barely jostled.

"Mmmm…" she purred, "That was nice."

"Thank you." Harry said, smiling down at her. He kissed her and she enjoyed this different sensual feeling of his lips and tongue caressing hers. He kissed his way across her jawline and she stretched it for him, so he could reach every bit. Harry kissed his way down her throat and she thought she'd lose it again when he captured a nipple in his mouth. She hadn't imagined she could reach orgasm from that alone, but with all the foreplay, she was so close she almost did, until he left it and continued kissing his way down her abdomen.

Harry could feel how close he'd brought her with the massage and he had a decision to make. He wanted to keep teasing her, but he knew she couldn't take much. Even just a brush of his lips against her clit might set her off. So he decided to take her over the top in a big way. He kissed his way between her legs, then moved his mouth away and let his warm breath play over her sopping wet sex. He teased her with the uncertainty of when he'd finally taste her. Then he buried his face in her while slamming his magic through her, licking her clit almost roughly. She had been expecting continued teasing and was balanced on the edge of orgasm when he pushed her roughly over. She screamed in one of the most powerful orgasms she'd ever had. He grabbed her ass and kept his tongue working on her while her hips lifted his upper body with the force of her thrusts. He kept pouring energy through her until she was almost glowing. Finally the spasms subsided and she sank to the bed.

"Oh, Harry." Hermione gasped, "What did you do to me?"

"You liked it?" Harry asked almost shyly.

"All that touching, all of it oriented around me?" Hermione asked, "I loved it! Thank you."

Harry cuddled against her until she came down from her massive series of orgasms. They were spooned on their sides, struggling to be close enough to fit on the narrow massage table. The room of requirement made sure it was just wide enough… in other words, exactly what they both wanted.

Hermione turned her head, looking over her shoulder at Harry. A seductive look was on her face. He'd never seen her so sexy, with her damp hair plastered to her skin in curls, her skin pink from the sex flush.

"Stand up, Harry." Hermione cooed.

He did, not knowing what she intended. She lay on her back on the massage table, scooting until her head fell off the end. She let her neck relax and her head hang down, her hair almost brushing the ground. She smiled and beckoned Harry closer. Magically, the table was the exact right height to put Harry's hips on the same level as the table.

"Harry," Hermione said shyly but seductively, "I don't want you to hold back. You know what I can handle because you can feel through the bond. I want you to take what you want. It's so hot when you take me to my limit…I want that."

Harry understood exactly what she was trying to express. The super controlled bookworm personality required her to always be in charge. "Bossy" was almost as much of a trademark of hers as "bushy". Sometimes she wanted to let go of that.

She opened her mouth wide and ran her tongue across the head of his cock as he presented it to her. She pressed her breasts together, playing with them, keeping her hands anywhere but in his way, letting him know he was in charge. Once he'd pushed the head of his cock into her mouth, she reached around and grabbed his ass, feeling the muscles flex. It felt like he was fucking her, but since they were saving vaginal sex for after the wedding, she was offering the rest of her body.

He could feel when she couldn't take any more and knowing what she wanted, he hovered right at that edge, making her feel like he might push past what she could handle, while knowing he never would. She felt safe and dangerous at the same time.

Meanwhile, he felt pleasure he barely could have imagined before. Her tongue was constantly moving, stroking the sensitive underside of his penis. Hermione's mouth was so hot and wet. Her total surrender of all control was so incredibly arousing, as was the picture she presented, her body laid out in front of him like an offering while she let him take his pleasure in her mouth.

As she adjusted, she was able to take more and more of him. She quickly learned how to suppress her gag reflex, allowing him to push into her throat. She ran her hands over his ass and back, relishing the feel of the muscles tensing as they pushed his cock down her throat.

Harry watched her medium sized breasts bounce hard once with each thrust. Every sense was overloaded, his lips still tinged with her taste, his nose filled with her scent, his eyes awash in her gorgeous body, and his skin on fire with her touch. His magical senses were equally absorbed as she fed magic back into him through the bond. It entered her through his cock and flowed back into him through her hands, cycling through both of them until they glowed as if they were on fire.

He finally couldn't hold it anymore and thrust himself as deeply as he could before he spilled himself down Hermione's throat. She swallowed, not because she needed to, his seed deposited directly into her throat, but to massage him that much more. Finally he pulled back and she gasped, her mouth full of the taste of him and her nose full of the scent of the man she loved more than anything else in the world.

Suddenly the table was a large, very soft bed, and he fell into it with her and was asleep almost before gravity had fully claimed him.

H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr

Late April

Harry apparated to Grimmauld Place. Hermione was having a 'hen's night' with her friends. Her mum had arranged it. They were starting with a spa day or something like that. He wondered how Luna and Ginny would adapt to the Muggle aspects. They'd do better than Ron, should he ever try.

Sirius had told him to come to Grimmauld and they'd hang out. Harry suspected he and his friends were receiving unprecedented privileges for Hogwarts students. Aside from the occasional Hogsmeade weekend, students weren't normally allowed off the grounds, but here Hermione was having a spa day with her mum and friends while he was going to visit Sirius.

Kreacher heard Harry's arrival, as quiet as it was, and popped into view.

"Young master, Master Black is in the library. He would have you meet him there."

Kreacher was less decrepit than he used to be. He was wearing a clean pillow case with the Black crest embroidered on it. He held himself straighter and looked less crazed. The destruction of the locket had been very therapeutic for the little Elf.

Harry walked up to the library and opened the door. A wave of greetings rang out. It was more than just Sirius; Harry heard Ron's voice clearly. Neville was quieter, but nobody would miss the tall boy. Remus was there, of course. Fred and George Weasley were also there. Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan's presence surprised Harry. He wouldn't have expected them to know anything about Grimmauld Place. Obviously Sirius had something planned.

The library itself had been renovated. Sirius had installed a billiards table. The furniture was all leather and the wood was dark. It was like a cliché of a wealthy bachelor's library and den. Harry was unsure how much space expansion charms figured into the architecture of Grimmauld place, but the room was not cramped in the least.

"Ah, Harry!" Sirius said, "Welcome to your Stag party! Stag…get it, Pronglet?"

"Ugh, Sirius, you're terrible!" Harry laughed despite himself, "You really planned a party for me?"

"Of course I did!" Sirius said, "Well, actually it was Ron, technically. He borrowed your mirror and contacted me. Said he understood it was the responsibility of the Best Man to plan the Stag Party, but he hoped I'd give him a hand. So…here we are! Do you want something to drink? I've altered the house rules for the party. You can all have something to drink so long as you agree to spend the night here. No apparating, no flooing, understood?"

Harry and the rest of the students nodded. Harry glanced over at the Weasley Twins and noticed they were looking back and forth between him and Sirius suspiciously.

"Harry, did Sirius call you 'Pronglet'?" Fred asked.

"Yeah, it's his nickname for me." Harry asked, "Based on my dad's nickname, at least when he's not calling me 'pup'. Why do you ask?"

George looked at him shrewdly. "What was your dad's nickname, Harry?"

"Prongs…why?" Harry asked.

"Your dad was Prongs?" they both asked together, "Why have you never told us this?!"

Harry looked at them confused, then remembered the Marauder's Map and where he'd gotten it. He smiled at the twins.

"Yep, my dad was Prongs. His two best mates were Sirius Black, also known as Padfoot, and Remus Lupin, also known as Moony."

The twins looked dumbstruck.

"You're the Marauders?" George asked.

"Monsieurs Padfoot and Moony?" Fred wondered.

"At your service." Sirius said with a flamboyant bow, while Remus, the more restrained of the two just grinned a wolfish grin.

"We're not worthy!" the twins exclaimed and started pestering the two for tips.

"Hey, Mate." Ron said, "Want something to drink?" he gestured at a full stocked little bar set up at the side. Dobby was wearing a ridiculous bartender costume that one of Harry's uncles must have picked for him.

"Can Dobby make anything for the Great Harry Potter?" Dobby asked hopefully.

"They've got some really great firewhiskey." Ron whispered.

Harry looked around at his friends, each of whom had a highball glass with a little of the amber fluid in it.

"Why not?" he shrugged.

Harry slowly sipped his drink while he learned to play billiards against Ron with Remus coaching. Neville, Seamus, and Dean looked on, trying to learn the game so they could play when it was their turn. Harry was clearly better coordinated than Ron, but Ron had more of a feel for the strategy of the game, always setting himself up for his next shots, while Harry just played each time without thinking of the next shot. Their different strengths left them relatively evenly matched and Harry ended up winning by one ball.

Dobby popped back in with a platter full of sizzling steaks. He made sure each of them had one, along with a baked potato, asparagus, and freshly baked rolls.

Sirius leaned back in his chair, clearly enjoying the steak, juice dripping down his chin. Remus looked to be in heaven, eating a shockingly rare steak that Dobby had obviously made just for him.

"So Harry, the Stag Night is a longstanding Wizarding tradition." Sirius lectured, "Your mates and your uncles are here to celebrate the end of your freedom!"

Harry shook his head at that.

"Ok, maybe that's a poor way to describe it, because it's been clear to me from the start you and Hermione were meant for each other. Ever since you flew in on Buckbeak to rescue your Godfather, I could tell you two were a team."

"Hermione!" Remus said, lifting his glass.

"Hermione!" the rest echoed.

"What about me?" Ron protested, "I'm part of the team!"

"Shut up, Ron." Sirius laughed, "Harry's not going to marry you, no matter how much you beg!"

Ron turned red while the other guys laughed.

"So enjoy yourself!" Sirius said, "Good food, good company, good booze, and I have a surprise for later…." Sirius said, "Oh, I almost forgot, there are Cuban cigars in the humidor. If you want, try one. They're special Wizard cigars that have been detoxified. There's no tar and they won't hurt your lungs at all. The smell magically disappears in the morning and your mouth won't feel like something died in it."

"So what about you two?" Dean asked, looking at Ron and Neville, "I'd hoped to ask Ginny out myself…no offense, Ron…but after you took her to the Yule Ball, Nev, I knew I didn't have a chance."

Neville blushed. "We're doing really well. I'm constantly surprised she doesn't get bored with me, but she seems happy enough. I'm hoping to try out for the Quidditch team next year after Fred and George graduate. Give us another thing in common."

"Not what I meant, mate." Dean said, grinning, "I mean when are you and Ron gonna propose to your birds?"

"Jumping the gun a bit, aren't you?" Ron asked, "We're young yet. Not everyone's like Harry, here."

"What about you?" Harry asked, smiling back at Dean, "You've said you would have asked Ginny out if she'd been free, but who're you dating?"

Seamus looked at his friend Dean. "Well, I asked Lavender out and Dean asked Parvati. They've said yes, so we'll be going with 'em to the next Hogsmeade weekend."

"Good show!" Fred said, wandering up, "I wondered when our excellent examples would start rubbing off on the younger generations."

"Excellent examples?" Harry asked, "You mean like the 'examples' you made during the DA Christmas party? I never did show you the pictures Colin, got did I? Hermione charmed some of his lenses to let the camera see what the rest of us were seeing."

Fred and George groaned. It was rare that the prank masters were pranked so thoroughly.

"Well, Fred," George said, "at least we know we don't have anything to be embarrassed about."

"What's this then?" Remus asked, hearing hints of a prank. As the brains behind the Marauders… a title he later shared with Lily, he was always curious to learn new techniques.

Harry told the story about how he, Hermione, Ron, and Luna had pranked the twins so they appeared nude to all the older students at the DA Christmas party, but with two age charms so the younger students didn't see it and the staff didn't either.

"Wow, Harry, that's some advanced work!" Remus said.

"And a good prank!" Sirius added, punching Harry in the shoulder in an appreciative way.

"Well," Harry said, "Hermione did most of the heavy lifting."

"So what caused you to prank the twins?" Neville asked innocently.

Ron blushed red to the roots of his hair and Harry stammered trying to change the subject.

"Oh, come now." Sirius said, "You're among friends here. Another rule of the house for the night - what's said or done here tonight stays here. There'll be no telling, understood?"

They all nodded. Harry took a slug of his firewhiskey, which Dobby had liberally mixed with soda, knowing his master didn't have much experience with alcohol. The drink and the promise of secrecy gave him enough fortitude to tell the story about the Twins' tainted firewhiskey prank and the exhibitionism it had prompted.

"Well, it all started with some firewhiskey…" Harry started, raising his glass.

"Here, here!" They all cheered before listening intently.

After the story, they were all laughing, Sirius in particular almost falling out of his chair.

"Here I was starting to worry you lot were too serious." He said.

"No, that's you." Harry quipped, which caused a few groans, particularly from Remus who'd been hearing puns based on his friend's name for most of his life.

Sirius told a similar story involving a drunken skinny dipping session in the lake and Prongs stealing his, Remus' and their girls' clothes using the invisibility cloak to remain undetected.

Everyone laughed, but Harry held up his hand, "Padfoot, that was hilarious, but I want to propose a new house rule: that story was fine, but make sure my mother doesn't make it into any of your stories."

"How do you know your mother wasn't in that story?" Sirius asked, arching one eyebrow, "I never said who either Remus or I were dating."

Harry turned pale. Sirius kept a straight face for a few seconds longer and then broke up.

"Just kidding, pup! She never dated Remus or I."

"Lily and I were good friends, though." Remus said, "Pretty much from the start, because we were the two bookworms of Gryffindor at the time."

Harry loved to hear stories about his parents and forced Sirius and Remus to tell as many as they would.

"So I'm finally on the team." Ron said, "Neville's planning to try out for beater next year. What about you two?" he asked looking at Seamus and Dean.

"We've been talking about trying out for chaser." Dean said, "A bunch of spots are opening up on the team, eh?"

"It worries me a bit." Harry admitted, "I'm glad to hear you're trying out. I was thinking of pushing Hermione to, as well."

"Hermione?" Seamus said, "I thought she hated flying?"

"Not at all." Harry said, "She wasn't a big fan at first, but since the end of third year, she's gotten over it and now she's really good. You should have seen the flying she did when she came after me in that graveyard at the end of the tournament."

"Hey, pup, that's a good idea." Sirius said, bringing out a large pensieve, "These can be really fun at parties. Why don't you put that memory in there."

Harry hesitated. He wasn't sure it was a party type memory, but with the urging of his friends he did.

At the end everyone was amazed. Sirius, as an experienced host, kept the mood from turning too somber by quickly dropping the memory of the skinny dipping incident into the pensieve. Soon they were all laughing again.

Reluctantly, Harry shared the memory of the tainted firewhiskey episode. Before he did, he sent a mental question to Hermione, requesting her permission to show it, since it would be embarrassing to her. Her reply surprised him.

<So Sirius hasn't told you about his surprise yet? Don't worry about embarrassing me, Harry.> Hermione sent back in reply, <You know I get a charge out of that sort of thing. As long as they're not crude, it'll be hot seeing Dean, Seamus… hell, even Neville trying to keep that image out of their heads when they see me next time.>

<You minx!> Harry sent back in amazement.

<But I'm your minx, right Harry?> she sent back in almost a purr. Harry could tell she was also having something to drink. <Harry, do I have your permission if anything that might be embarrass you comes up?>

<Sure, I guess.> Harry said.

<Thanks!> Hermione said, sounding relieved, <Sirius said just go ahead, but I wasn't sure. Have fun!>

The group was laughing at the memory. Ron, blushing at how much of Luna had been exposed in that memory, shared his of the prank on the twins. Harry had been pushed to share his of the Chamber of Secrets and again everyone was stunned.

Sirius glanced at his watch, deciding to intervene again. "Gentlemen, hit the restroom, freshen up your drinks, whatever you want to do and get back here in ten minutes. I've got a surprise for Harry!"

They milled around and did as Sirius asked. Sirius leaned against a wall with Remus, watching.

"It's good to see, isn't it Moony?"

"These guys, being boys?" Remus asked, "Or rather, young men? Yeah, it's good. I'm happy to see they're getting into a bit of mischief and not just learning to fight all the time."

The two adults watched their charges. The boys were having fun, trying to smoke cigars and coughing, sipping watered down drinks, and just relaxing. Once they'd all gathered back up, Sirius gestured them to comfortable leather chairs now arranged in a casual semi-circle around a cleared space at one end of the library. The shelves had been covered with dark velvet drapes.

"We gonna watch a movie?" Harry asked, wondering what his uncle was up to.

Sirius grinned, some of Padfoot's look in his face. "Better than that, Harry, I promise."

He stood up and faced them, a huge smile on his face.

"As I said before, we're here tonight to mourn the passing of my Godson's bachelorhood. I'm happy to have seen it wasn't all wasted and that his future wife is not a stick-in-the-mud." Sirius said, "Also as I said, there are certain traditions for a Stag Night. I'm happy to be able to continue one of those tonight. Now for the surprise you've all been waiting for… Miss Stella Diamond!"

The lights in the room dimmed until only faces could be glimpsed, lit by the glowing ends of lit cigars. A thrumming song started almost subliminally and a very dim spotlight started shining, revealing a tall blonde in a tight cocktail dress. She looked a lot like a very much matured Luna Lovegood, but without the dreamy eyes. She began to dance, singing along with the song, and the students were mesmerized. She wore a red dress with a low neckline, emphasizing her abundant cleavage. It hugged her curves so tightly it looked painted on. It was narrow with a long slit giving her freedom of movement. The spotlight grew stronger, making the dress sparkle. If it were Muggle, the sparkling would be due to sequins, but the magical dress itself seemed to sparkle.

At first she danced very tastefully, but as she continued, everyone noticed one of her long legs peeking through the slit in her dress. She leaned forward, locking eyes with Harry and showing even more of her cleavage. Neville's eyes bugged out as he thought he caught a glimpse of her belly button that way. Stella turned away and they could see that the dress was backless; coming so far down it showed off twin dimples and a hint another kind of cleavage.

The first song ended with Stella remaining fully dressed, although her audience was still very titillated. As the music ended, she sat on Harry's lap and caressed his hair off his forehead, clearly looking at his scar. He normally hated that, but it was hard to hate such a beautiful woman.

"So you're Harry Potter?" Stella asked in her sultry voice, "It's so good to meet you, Mr. Potter."

"Mm…umm, good to meet you, too, Miss Diamond." Harry stammered.

"Don't be nervous, Mr. Potter." Stella continued, "You're much more famous than I am. You are so sweet. I thought you'd be full of yourself."

"Everyone seems to think that." Harry admitted.

"Well, I just wanted to meet you." Stella said, "My contract includes a Witch's Oath that I won't tell anyone what goes on here. I'm paid well for my…discretion, so don't worry that the details of your Stag Night will get out to the Daily Prophet."

"Thank you." Harry said sincerely.

"Oh, that girl's a lucky one." Stella said smiling, "Do you think I could get your autograph later?"

"My autograph?" Harry asked.

Stella nodded and caressed Harry's cheek before standing. Leaning over she whispered in his ear, "Is that your wand or were you just happy to see me?" Laughing, she turned away from him, "Unzip me?"

Harry turned red, but did as she as asked, finding the hidden zipper and tugging it down. Stella began to sway as her next song started. She danced in front of the boys, holding her gown to her body until she turned and let it fall, revealing a thong that barely concealed her gorgeous bottom. She wore thigh high stockings the same color as her knickers and bra. She turned and they could all see the thong was sheer in the front, as was her bra. She danced in front of each of the students in turn. Harry had to laugh, seeing how differently each of them responded. The twins were unphased. Apparently they had enough experience that this wasn't that momentous an event. Neville, on the other hand was blushing. He appeared conflicted about whether to look or to look away. Dean, Seamus, and Ron clearly enjoyed looking and each got their hands slapped for trying to do more than look.

That song flowed into the next and Stella threw her bra on Harry's head, causing him to turn red all over again. They all watched, mouths open, as her breasts swayed and jiggled with the dancing. She turned her back and they all appreciated the toned muscles of her back, buttocks, and thighs. She slowly slid her knickers over her hips and stepped out of them, dressed only in high heel shoes and thigh high stockings. Harry could hear his pulse beating in his ears. She was not as good looking to him as Hermione, but she was very, very naked.

When she turned around, he took in her breasts, the flat planes of her belly, and the small tuft of light brown hair. Hermione kept hers completely bare and he decided then he liked bare better, but he was happy he got to compare the two.

When she finished dancing, she sat on Harry's lap.

"You keep your hands to yourself." Stella observed, "You've got a lucky girl, Mr. Potter."

She spent some time on each boy's lap, chatting with them. She laughed as she slapped the boy's hands, not offended in the least by their antics, but well-able to handle them without any real effort. She stood, "Now you get a real treat." Stella said, "Sirius told me Harry would enjoy this more if I told him it was approved by the one whose approval means the most to him. So Harry, this is for you."

She stepped back to the center of her little 'stage'. She pulled a wand, although nobody saw from where, and suddenly was dressed in a Gryffindor school uniform. As the lights dimmed to complete darkness, everyone saw her uncork a potion vial and drink it.

"Woooooo!" Padfoot called out, although it half sounded like a howl. Remus joined him and the two joined their voices in howling. A familiar laugh came out of the darkness.

As the lights came up, they all saw someone very familiar to them, Miss Hermione Granger.

"Oh, Harry." Stella said in Hermione's voice. She had to have met Hermione to get the mannerisms exactly right. She put her hand on her hip and pointed at him, "What kind of trouble were you getting into without me there to keep an eye on you? Shouldn't you be studying?"

She paced towards him, then leaned over. Harry didn't think the Hogwarts jumper ever exposed that much cleavage. Her tie was definitely loose…

"Were you thinking about me, Harry?" she asked saucily, turning sharply, her bushy brown hair spinning around her shoulders and her shorter-than-regulation uniform skirt flaring out to show a pair of white cotton knickers. She walked over and plopped on Seamus' lap.

"Bookworms don't just live in the library, Mr. Finnegan." Stella/Hermione said, "We like to have fun, too."

Seamus looked half panicked, "Don't kill me, Harry, I didn't lay a hand on her!"

Harry laughed. He was glad Hermione had approved, otherwise he knew he'd be feeling guilty right now, but this was just too much fun!

Dean thought so, too, wolf-whistling at Stella.

Hermione strode over to Dean. "Mr. Thomas, are you disturbing the library? Maybe I need to take house points away from you! No, instead, why don't you take off my jumper?"

Dean smiled and pulled the jumper over her head, mussing her hair.

"Oh, the 'just shagged look' suits her!" Sirius called out, "I think I saw that a few times over holiday… what were you up to, Harry?"

Sirus looked at his Godfather shocked. Stella/Hermione went over and plopped in his lap.

"Uncle Sirius," Hermione pouted, "you know girls mature faster than boys…"

Then she stood up and gave them all a teasing look, "…especially you boys!"

She moved on to Ron.

"Oh, Ron," Hermione said, "you're like a brother to me." She sat gently in his lap and gave him a shocked look, "That doesn't feel like you think of me like a sister, though!"

She stood, shaking her finger at him as if to say, 'naughty, naughty'.

Dancing to the music, she unbuttoned her shirt to show a lacy, but subdued bra, the kind that a schoolgirl trying to dress sexy might wear. Harry laughed and Stella looked at him surprised.

"Harry, what's so funny?"

"Now I know something's off… you never wear a bra!"

Everyone laughed at that, shocked at Harry's drunken admission. Hermione just smiled.

"Gives you something to take off me, later!"

She continued to dance and they all enjoyed watching her perky schoolgirl breasts gently bobbing with her movements. She danced around, her plaid skirt twitching over her toned thighs.

"Now I see why you're getting married so young!" Remus said, then turned red at realizing what he'd said. Sirius pounded him on the back, laughing at his friend's discomfiture.

They all watched as 'Hermione' unfastened her skirt, dropping it on Neville's lap. She walked around in her Mary Jane shoes, knee high stockings, plain but somewhat sheer white knickers, and lacy cotton bra. Her Gryffindor tie still hung around her neck, falling into her subtle cleavage. Harry noticed there was no shadow of pubic hair through the sheer front of her knickers and wondered whether the Polyjuice potion was that accurate or whether Hermione had told Stella how to groom for the event.

Harry thought he was excited for the earlier dance, but this was Hermione, his vision of feminine perfection. His pulse was pounding in his ears and he felt hot. It seemed like it could have been an uncomfortable situation, but was too exciting to feel anything but good. He was a bit embarrassed to have his mates effectively seeing his fiancée in her underwear, but he suspected it was just going to get worse.

Stella/Hermione reached behind her to unfasten her bra, but then stopped and walked to Harry.

"If I never wear one of these, you may need the practice, Harry." She smirked, flowing into his arms. She brought her mouth to his, but he held back. It was Hermione, but it wasn't. He unfastened her bra with one hand, his skilled fingers making quick work, even though the clasp was unfamiliar.

"No wonder you're a seeker!" Stella/Hermione exclaimed, then in a quieter voice, "And a gentleman, I really AM a lucky girl!"

Harry realized those definitely were Hermione's breasts down to the color of her nipples. He flushed, excited but still unsure he wanted his friends seeing those details. Oh, well, he thought. Hermione thought it was funny, he might as well let it play out. She spent several songs in just her knickers, spending a few minutes on each young man's lap. She wasn't as quick to slap hands away, maybe less protective since it wasn't really her own form. Stella/Hermione let each of them hold her and gave them some gentle kisses, squirming into their laps with a giggle.

Harry was shocked to see both Sirius and Remus take advantage of Stella's favors. Remus at least had the courtesy to look embarrassed. Sirius just grinned at Harry.

Stella stood and again turned her back. Leaving her legs completely straight, she bent ninety degrees at the waist, dropping her knickers to the floor and giving them all a great view of her bum and a glimpse of what she had between her legs. She danced another song in just stockings, shoes, and Gryffindor tie. After spending another few minutes on each young man's lap, she made her way to Harry.

"I like your young woman." Stella whispered in his ear, "You learn a lot about a person, spending some time in their form. Her responses are even more powerful than mine. I about lost it several times." Blushing, she admitted, "Ok, did lose control a couple of times. She definitely keeps herself fit. Martial arts? It feels differently than Quidditch or dance muscle. I enjoyed entertaining you, Harry."

"I…couldn't have imagined." Harry said, "I'm still shocked she was ok with you using her form!"

Stella/Hermione giggled, "She'll keep amazing you for the rest of your life, Harry. Now I'm about to change back, I can feel it. Once I'm changed back, I want to get a picture with you."

The lights went down, Stella reverted to her normal form as the potion ran out. The lights came up and there was Stella back in the thigh high stockings and high heels, quick changes apparently a specialty. She came and sat in Harry's lap again. Sirius took picture with a wizard camera and had Dobby quickly develop it.

Harry leaned closer to Stella's ear. "I have to ask, does Polyjuice cover pubic hair style or did you have to change it to match her?"

"She told me how she keeps it." Stella admitted, "She helped me get her mannerisms right, too. Told me to exaggerate a lot."

Stella put the sparkly red gown on and then took another picture with Harry and one with the group. She had Harry autograph both her pictures when they were developed.

"Bye!" she called out, before leaving by floo.

Harry settled back into his chair, his whiskey and soda held loosely in his hand. Stag Night indeed!

H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr H/Hr

Additional disclaimer: My main characters are older than their supposed calendar ages. Hermione because of the time she gained by using the time turner in third year. She used it obsessively. Knowing what a perfectionist she is and how much she wants to learn, you can only imagine how much she used it. While she could probably say exactly how many hours she gained, she's never done the calculation, because she doesn't care. Suffice it to say she's at or above the age of consent wherever you're reading this.

Harry is a teenage boy who gained some of the power and abilities of the greatest Dark Lord in history through the soul fragment. Voldemort was at least 50 years old. One-seventh of a fifty year old combined with the entirety of a teenager results in a composite age of at least twenties. I know many will argue Voldemort's years don't count for Harry, but if he gains some of his skills, skills come with age, can we really say that?

This will never figure into the plot of my story, but suffice it to say both of my main characters are intended to be portrayed at or above the age of consent no matter what calendar birthday they mentioned last. It's magic.

A/N: This chapter didn't really further the plot a lot, but it showed some of the socialization, which is also important. The next chapter will be key and I wanted a whole chapter for the big event. It may be awhile, because my shift is changing, so be patient.

This is largely unedited, so finding mistakes would not surprise me. My apologies.