Unofficial Portkey Archive

Stories by uvagirl

  1. A Simple Matter of Timing by uvagirl

    From Harry's own mouth comes the true story of the final defeat of Voldemort! How did he he do it, and what interesting things happened along the way? There will be THREE chapters (changed from first posting), and note that this will NOT feature my usual lowbrow and tasteless humor . . . well, maybe a tiny bit. Final Chapter & Epilogue - major character deaths AND a happy ending! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  2. Rescue Mission by uvagirl

    Harry and Hermione never got together during their school days, they’re older now, and they’ve been separated for a while. Harry’s been having LOTS of fun with every sort of woman imaginable, except with the one he really wants. We know what will happen, but they’ve got to get through some laughter and tears first. Final chapter - story complete. ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  3. Gryffindor Sixth Year Follies by uvagirl

    Hermione has been full of "wonderful ideas" this year, and she's just had her best one yet. But, how does she get a reluctant Harry to participate? Warnings for sexual innuendo, very off-color jokes, and erotic action a hair's breadth from outright smut. From Chapter Two on, Harry & Ron will do standup comedy and the Gryffindor sixth year class will perform an old-fashioned burlesque/vaudeville sketch! Final chapter now uploaded - Aftermath of the show, including Draco/Snape bashing AND actual HHr NC17 sex! Please enjoy! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  4. Harry Potter and the Half-Arsed Pinch by uvagirl

    Everyone seems to have commented on HBP, except for Harry himself! Chapter One is a first person, way-over-the-top parody of parts of HBP, so expect OOC-ness, or maybe not, depending upon how strong your feelings are. Warnings are given, and should be heeded, for smut, profanity, really excessive vulgarity, always-popular gratuitous Slytherin/Draco-bashing, and other nastiness. Chapter 2 (conclusion) Much more Hermione, more humor, and a LOT of tears! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718

  5. Always Helpful Dobby by uvagirl

    This begins as a kindly intended parody of the “late night snack” variety of light romance. As such, Harry and Hermione initially will be OOC, a rascal and a shrew respectively, but a very happy ending will result. Special warnings for sexual/anatomical innuendo and to food fetishists: sorry, but the pumpkin pie and whipped cream will be eaten only, with ordinary utensils, and will not be worn! ----------- ADDED BY FIC CO-ADMIN (gal-texter) in 2008: Please read this: http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=14633&view=findpost&p=237718