Unofficial Portkey Archive

Tag: Humor

Showing page 1 of 28.

  1. Art of Bread Making by Green_Eyes_&_Bushy_Hair

    Hermione tries to make bread. Harry tries to help. They both succeed in the end. Just a fluffly drabble. One shot.

  2. In the Red by MeiQueen

    Ginny Weasley. 25. Shopaholic in debt up to her eyeballs. Draco Malfoy. 26. Multibillionaire, and financial planner responsible for Ginny Weasley's file at Gringotts. Who will make it out alive?

  3. Magical Reunion by alayneni

    Lavender Brown wanted to have a reunion of her Hogwarts class but she didn’t want to hold it at Hogwart’s. On a suggestion from Paravti she decides to hold it in Las Vegas. Find out what happens as a bunch of wizards try to have fun in Las Vegas! Harry Potter crossover with Las Vegas.

  4. Two Years Later... by Island Girl

    AU, EWE: Hermione is blackmailed into attending the 2nd anniversary of Voldemort's defeat. Harry/Hermione if you squint. Hermione-centric, with Ron-bashing. Resurrected Snape, Sirius, Regulus and Remus. Mild swearing, hence the PG13 rating. Companion piece to follow. Reviews much appreciated and cherished

  5. Adventures in Healing by Dementor149

    A series of short stories about Ron's adventures as a healer. This series is based on "The Most Ancient Magic." Chapter 0ne is about one of Ron's mistakes and Luna's effort to teach him. Chapter Two - Ron learns some valuable lessons about his own emotions while healing others. Chapter Three Luna has to come to terms with losing patients sometimes.

  6. Suppose by Viopathartic

    One-Shot: Harry supposes to Hermione. EXCERPT: Hermione smiled softly and delicately brushed her hand against his cheek. Harry turned his head so that his lips would touch her palm and then sighed, at ease with her presence around him. He could have been asleep, for his soft breathing and closed eyes could have been indicators. But no, Harry was merely reveling in being with the one he loved, the one he cherished every moment with.

  7. Sugar and Spice by Candra

    Fred and George decide to do something against Harry's none existent love life and play match maker by giving Hermione a horny potion disguised as Saccharine.

  8. The Bar Association by xelan

    Early chapters have no direct H/Hr. Story is about the parents of Harry and Hermione at first, then we'll get into their children... in a roundabout way.

  9. What Do I Think of Hermione by xelan

    Ron asks Harry a question. Any good lawyer will tell you, never ask a question unless you already know the answer.

  10. Kissing Ginevra Weasley by gypsybaby21

    Inspired by the movie ‘Kissing Jessica Stein’. Ginevra Weasley is fed up with guys who don’t understand her witty humor, her intelligence, or her slightly over-bearing family. So she takes a chance and tries something new by answering a ‘female wanting female’ ad. What Ginny gets is a snooty, famous, long-brown haired Slytherin whose best friend just happens to be Draco Malfoy!

  11. Downfall, by GW by Rihaan

    Every phoenix has to go through a Burning Day.

  12. Severus Snape's Severe Psychological Spanking by Rihaan

    Severus Snape is a bad teacher. McGonagall takes notice. Severus needs to be punish- okay, wait, that sounds WAY too dirty! Okay - Snape has horrible teaching methods, and McGonagall embarrasses him verbally. There were no paddles, no pale butts, no aging hands in motion. Just talking. So... enjoy, I guess.

  13. Forever Sounds Good by afterthought and ellipses

    'This looks like a date' she thought, glancing at the emerald-eyed man next to her before quickly looking back at the telly. It was the first 'Friday Night In' she had with just the two of them.

  14. the truth about us by ayumi-nb

    [marauders’ era, 7th year] All things considered, Lily thought it wasn’t so bad—especially when it could have been worse.

  15. The List by Rihaan

    It was just supposed to be a simple list - a snippy response to a stupid, sexist list he found. He thought more than a few people would be mad at him. He was wrong. So, very wrong.

  16. Alice Evans and the Lost Days by hermy_madness

    So Alice and Co. have returned for their fourth year at Hogwarts, but what will the changes of last year mean for the new one? How will her new identity change relationships? A new danger threatens Hogwarts and there are yet more secrets to be uncovered! Please R&R! For a summary (yes it has been that long) go to chapter 9. CHAPTER 16 NOW UP! And Finished!

  17. Priapism by Rylee

    Harry wakes up with a hard--er, difficult little problem that just won't go away.

  18. Handcuffs by SwishAndFlick31

    Aunt Marge visits again during the summer before Harry's sixth year. They talk about some things that get Harry very, very mad. Then, Vernon calls a facility that takes care of 'violent' teens. Little does Harry know, that Hermione's father just so happens to own the facility. AU. Yes, I'm uploading this SIX years later.

  19. A Certain Romance by Alexandria Malfoy

    ONE-SHOT. Ginny Weasley was the last person Draco expected to pick to join him in holy matrimony. Originally written for the 2011 D/G Fic Exchange on LiveJournal.

  20. A Dash of Romance by afterthought and ellipses

    But with her it's different. She shares your sentiments on romance. Although that doesn't mean that the two of you aren't "romantic", you just show each other differently.

  21. As You Wish by Alexandria Malfoy

    "I suppose a lot of this could be my fault. I’ve always been the adventurous type, and I knew it was only a matter of time before that aspect of my personality caught up with me." Draco is gifted with a magic lamp. Who he finds inside is the last person he’d ever expect. Originally written for the D/G Fic Exchange on LiveJournal.

  22. A Real Keeper by xelan

    Alt. 5th year. Voldemort is truly dead and Umbridge is not a problem. The Slytherin Quidditch match is upcoming and the regular Gryffindor Keeper is sick. Ron is not much of a replacement, but Harry has a better idea. H/Hr

  23. The Crossways Guest House by Heaven

    After graduation, Hermione's great aunt invites her and her friends to help her restore an old bed and breakfast she's recently inherited. Harry, Hermione, Ron, Luna, Ginny and Neville have all come to a crossroads in their life and as they find out more about the secrets of the old house, friendships are cemented and love blossoms during the summer holiday. H/Hr, R/LL, D/G and N/G

    This story has missing or damaged chapters. If you have a link to this story on another site or a saved copy please contact or /u/pk-archive on Reddit.

  24. Some Days Should Come With Their Own Warning Label by lillyfan16

    You know those moments you plan and plan in your mind? The ones where you imagine yourself doing something, over and over, until you come up with the perfect fantasy of how things will pan out? And despite always thinking “oh, it would never happen that way” or “he’ll never feel the same,” in your heart, you still just know it will go the way you’ve planned. And it isn’t something that is “better than you’ve ever imagined” or “didn’t go quite like you thought.” No. It goes just the way you imagined: no more, no less. It’s perfect, just like you knew it would be. You couldn’t ask for more.

  25. Story of a girl called Hermione Granger by rockstar

    AU-Non-magical story. Hermione Granger - a bookworm and a little bit insecure girl. Harry Potter -popular, handsome,and a football player.2 completely different people, with completely different life. See what happens when Harry enters in Hermione's life. Bound to turn their life upside down...Read to find out.

  26. The Mundane Things by afterthought and ellipses

    It's the little things that remind you of how and why you're in love. A series of drabbles.

  27. The Warren by xelan

    I keep getting attacked by plot bunnies. When I'm not being actively mauled by plot bunnies, this is where they reside. Perhaps one day, a lucky bunny will be spunky enough to become a plot rabbit. Expect all different kinds of things from me here. Comments on the plot elements would be much appreciated.

  28. Dudley's Girlfriend by greenevans

    Dudley has a girlfriend, & Harry’s been relentlessly teasing him about her. Dudley retaliates by with the typical, “At least I have a girlfriend,” causing Harry to pull out a picture of Hermione and claim she’s his girlfriend. What happens when the Grangers show up at the Dursley’s and Dudley demands proof of Harry and Hermione’s “relationship”? My submission for the totally awesome "Invitation-only KiwiMelon15 Challenge" Officially NC-17 as of Ch 7

  29. The Love Theorem by trueharmony

    After being dumped for the 9th time, Hermione finally decides to come up with a solution that will accurately predict the outcome of a relationship. But can love really be predicted? Also posted in ffn under the username missbookish07.

  30. Without You by afterthought and ellipses

    For the past nine years of his life she was always there by his side. And for the past nine years, he'd gotten so used to having her around that he'd never bothered to think what his life would be like without her hand gripping his arm.

  31. The Mistletoe Plot by xelan

    The twins make some great pranking supplies, but what happens when their new magic mistletoe is abused. Someone catches Hermione unaware leaving Harry all alone and unprotected. Divergent timeline. Late Christmas story.

  32. Whip Him Into Shape by MeiQueen

    Draco Malfoy needs a trainer to get him and his bridal party into shape in time for his wedding to Pansy Parkinson. When he reaches out to Shape Gyms, he gets more than he was expecting in the form of a certain redheaded Weasley.

  33. He Knew by rockstar

    Harry is sitting in a restaurant waiting for Hermione. But instead of Hermione, a pretty blonde comes and joins him. Harry takes her home with him as Hermione doesn't come. See what happens between them and how will it affect Hermione. This is the companion fic to my other story, 'What Comes Out Of A Wild Night'. R&R.

  34. Never Make a Deal With Harry Potter by afterthought and ellipses

    When Harry James Potter decided to kiss me, Hermione Jean Granger, to say I was shocked would be quite an understatement.

  35. Time by afterthought and ellipses

    Five seconds. That's how fast it was for her to make him smile. She simply walked through the kitchen door and there it was: a glorious smile that none of us had seen since the war started.

  36. What A Girl Wants by mspolapotter

    Hermione takes Harry on a crash course on how to make the girl of his dreams fall in love with his gentlemanly charm. But then, everything backfires, don't they?

  37. GinDread by xelan

    The Harmony story was cancelled. Shock! Ginny insisted on a Vandread cross. Horror! The audience wanted smut. Duh! Harry and Hermione don't care. Yes! Other girls are involved. Oh? Ginny and Ron have a bad day. Naturally! MA, Unusual for me. H/HR Plus.

  38. A Special Guest by xelan

    AU. On a field trip to Grimmauld Museum, an unexpected but special guest is coincidentally there at the same time. The-Boy-Who-Lived Novel series is all these kids know. What questions will they ask? If you liked Delusions of Granger... then try this.

  39. What Comes Out Of A Wild Night? by rockstar

    Hermione is going to get married. Her cousins and friends want to take her out for a wild night. There Hermione meets a handsome bloke. See what happens....

  40. The Best Way by maxtaf

    The best way to deal with a kidnapping situation? An alternate view of the second task...

  41. Changes by alayneni

    It's been seven years since Harry left England with Ron and Ginny. They've returned to find that things haven't turned out the way they expected. This was written before DH. Warning: The story is very suspenseful!

  42. Alice Evans and the Prisoner of Azkaban by hermy_madness

    They're back for a third year! Alice, Harry, Ron and Hermione have another action packed year full of broken rules, dangerous beasts and more than a few life changing revelations. Please R&R to find out more!

  43. Damsel by xelan

    A late holiday story for 2011. A story of great heroism, chivalry and true love... well, it aspires to be. More of a comedic farce, really. H/Hr. I am not particularly kind to Ginny here, but I try to be gentle. Ron is there but no speaking parts.

  44. Estimation by papermask

    “Ginny, there’s just one key to the relationship between Harry and Hermione. And, not surprisingly, you’ve missed it again.”

  45. Return to Sender by romulus lupin

    A different take on the infamous "Harry Dies and Is Sent Back in Time" challenge - what if Harry dies but someone *else* is sent back to fix things?

  46. Meta by xelan

    Harry and Hermione are together, their foes are defeated and everything is simply brilliant. Then why does it all seem so very odd? Read to find out. H/Hr.

  47. One Night by spacegal

    Okay...he was still going to kill the person who put him in this position...after giving that same person a hug for making him open his eyes Prompt for September 6th (Yes - I'm late!)

  48. Decisions about Divination: A Guideline for the Sidekicks by starwberry_nerd

    Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy’s sidekick/s): If the Hero is fated to slay certain evil entities, Evil Overlord’s in Particular, this mean I will not slay them and I should avoid trying But then we all know how certain people feel about divination...

  49. Just Once by xelan

    Neville knows something bad is about to happen and he wants to warn Harry. Someone is looking for Hermione, and it is someone that she least expects. Will Neville make Harry understand what is at stake or will he be too late? H/Hr and N/L.

  50. Don't Fear the Reaper by starwberry_nerd

    From the challenge of Reptilia28 comes Don't Fear the Reaper!- Harry has died, big surprise, but he discovers that he has died six times! In the process of being rewritten