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The Worst Summer of my Life by MichelleRadcliffe
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The Worst Summer of my Life

MichelleRadcliffe

The Worst Summer of my Life

Rating: PG-13 for swearing and some sexual innuendoes but nothing too bad
Status: in progress
Author: Michelle (PottersGirl13) (A/N1:)
Co-Author: Andrea (A/N2:)
Andrea helped my come up with some of the ideas so I feel it's only right to credit her.
Pairings: Harry/Hermione, Draco/Ginny (others you'll have to read and find out...I don't want to give anything away...

Summary: It's the summer after fifth year and Harry has been staying at Grimmauld Place for the summer and some visitors are coming. Some big twists are coming and hilarity ensues.

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING!!!

Notes: Well, I just want to say before you read this that me and my friends wrote it for the fun of it. It was not meant to be serious so don't feel bad if your favourite character has some odd things happen to them. My favourite character has many bad things happen to him (It's Harry by the way) and I laugh at it anyway so please enjoy. Nevertheless, I know I'm going to get many flames. Please try to see the funny side of things and enjoy!

Now, to the story!

Previously:

After walking aimlessly around for a few minutes and not seeing anyone Draco decided to look for some people inside. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a club down the street. He ran all the way to it and was out of breath when he got there. (A/N: Note that it was 10 feet away.) He caught his breath before opening the door and walking inside. He looked up at the stage when he got inside and gasped at the sight in front of him.

Chapter Five: The Chapter When I Figured Out These Titles Suck and Started Working on New Ones

Megan looked around the upstairs some more before running into Narcissa. Narcissa smiled evilly before escorting a very curious Megan to a dark corner she hadn't noticed before. Narcissa looked around making sure no one was looking before opening a door that appeared only after Narcissa had muttered a few words that, to Megan, sounded Latin. Narcissa flipped on a light and pulled a key out of her pocket. Megan waited anxiously as Narcissa used that key to open a box with a set of keys that opened the twenty or so locks on the closet door. Narcissa unlocked the last lock and opened the closet door that only made Megans' mischievous grin to widen.

Sirius and James were back inside and peeking around and the corner at the mysterious that had appeared and disappeared again. They stayed low in their position waiting for the two women to come back out so they could snoop around the Room of Torment and Mystery as they so cleverly dubbed it.

Draco stood there stunned at the sight in front of him. There on stage was Draco. Well, an older Draco anyway. He was singing a rap song with a few other guys and above the stage in bright glowing letters was EMINEM. `Why would I change my name to Eminem?' Draco thought as he watched for a few more minutes as girls threw what looked like underwear up on the stage making younger Draco smile widely before departing from the club.

Harry followed Hermione begrudgingly to the car and scowled when she refused to let him drive. I believe the wording was `There is NO WAY in HELL I'm EVER letting YOU drive My car AGAIN…EVER!'. Harry sighed and got into the passenger seat. Hermione turned on the engine and flipped on the radio. After about 5 or 6 minutes of Hermione browsing through stations she finally pulled out of the parking lot.

Harry heard an annoyingly familiar tune come onto the radio. He groaned inwardly when 1000 Miles by Vanessa Carlton sifted through the speakers. He'd definitely heard that song way more than enough times last summer when Dudley had it playing loudly in his room constantly because it was, after all, his favorite song. He had a look of horror on his face when Hermione started singing along and cringed noticeably. The car screeched to a halt. Harrys' eyes widened when Hermione turned to face him with a not-too-happy look on her face.

"Harry…" She started. "You think I'm a bad singer?" She asked threateningly. Harrys' mouth opened, closed, and then opened again. "Come on Harry…spit it out." She said darkly. "Erm…no…Hermione, you're a wonderful singer." He said with a sigh. Hermione, however, wasn't happy with this answer. "Harry, don't you lie to me!" She threatened. Harry threw his hands in the air. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, WOMAN?!?!?" He screamed.

Ginny gave Ron a glace that Ron knew all too well. `What in Gods' name are you talking about you moron?'. Ron looked saddened by this but shrugged it off because he is only able to have one emotion at a time and now that emotion was anger. "MY SQUISHY!!!" Ron demanded holding out his hand. Ginny rolled her eyes and pointed to the pit of bunnies below her. She quickly shut the window and locked it before Ron could say anything else. Ron danced a little jig because now he had 80 Squishys!!!

Ginny looked around the house for Draco. She was feeling up to a snog session and didn't really feel like snogging Ron who was the only boy she could find. (A/N: Thank God.) She ran outside but didn't see him out there either. She trudged back inside and ran upstairs as a last resort. She ran into each room but didn't see him anywhere.

Megan looked around the room in the closet in awe. Not only was there boxes of private things belonging to the people staying in the house but there was a full surveillance system set up and the TVs were right in front of her. She saw that Ginny was in the kitchen and that Sirius and James were in the hallway. Lupin was downstairs reading a book in the sitting room and Ron was out in the yard dancing around happily. It looked like Harry and Hermione were still out so Megan and Narcissa pulled out the boxes. Before Narcissa would let Megan look she held out her hand as if expecting payment. Begrudgingly Megan pulled the little black book out of her pocket and handed it to Narcissa who quickly locked it in a drawer labeled `Examine'.

Sirius and James got tired of waiting for so long for Narcissa and Megan to come back out. Granted, it had only been two minutes but unfortunately they had found some sugar. Pure sugar. Five pounds of it. (A/N: Uh oh…DUN DUN DUN…think Draco on coffee times 4) They ran down the stairs and found Lupin in the sitting room sitting (A/N: Pardon the pun). Lupin gave them a fleeting glance as they walked in the room. They pulled up chairs on either side of a nervous looking Moony. "We need your help." James said his mischievous smile matching Sirius'.

Draco wondered around keeping a look out for the dryer so he could go back to 1996. He spotted a few people coming out of buildings on the other side of town and ran all the way to the dryer which he just spotted and climbed in. Draco sat inside it for a little while before realizing it wasn't going to work just by itself. Peeking out to make sure no one was watching Draco climbed out and looked at the dials. Seeing how it worked (miraculously) he set the dials to 1996 and got back in. The dryer started spinning faster and faster and it was, quite frankly, making Draco sick. The dryer stopped spinning and Draco tumbled out.

The rest of the way home Hermione had a slight grin on her face and Harry kept his eyes wide shooting nervous glances her way every ten seconds.

Harry and Hermione walked up to the house hand in hand. Things had cooled down a little between them so it was nothing really. Harry opened the door for her giving her a devilish grin. Hermione blushed and walked upstairs to see where everyone was. Ginny came rushing around the corner with a huge smile on her face. Upon seeing that it was Harry and Hermione her smile faded greatly. "I'm happy to see you too, Ginny." Hermione said sarcastically. Ginny sighed. "Sorry, it's just I'm looking for Draco and I can't seem to find him anywhere." She said looking over Hermione's' shoulder. "Why would you want to find that slimy little ferr - " Harry stopped mid word at the sharp pain in his side.

Ron saw Draco come around the side of the house a dazed look on his face. Ron walked over to him nervously. "Erm - hi Draco." Ron said looking down and blushing. Draco murmured something that could have very possibly been `hi' but it was hard to tell because he was slurring his words a lot. Ron was disappointed by this but accepted it as fate that he would never be with Draco the `forbidden fruit'. (A/N: Sorry! It was building up inside of me and I just couldn't take it anymore!)

Megan found a small box labeled `Rons' Room' and picked it up. She opened it and found pictures of Draco. She looked up at Narcissa who shrugged. All-of-the-sudden Megan was wearing a cape and had little devil horns and a trident. She laughed evilly, rubbing her hands together. "I will get to the bottom of this." She said mischievously. Narcissa looked up at her, confused. "Why are you wearing a cape and rubbing your hands together?" Narcissa asked. "Oh, no reason." Megan replied going back to the boxes.

Sirius and James explained to Lupin what they had in mind quickly. "So…tell me…again, if you will, why exactly you want to bake a giant chocolate chip cookie." He said looking from one to the other. They looked at each other and then, since neither knew, shrugged. Lupin rolled his eyes and led them to the kitchen.

Ginny had left Harry and Hermione alone after they had finally convinced her that they knew nothing of Dracos' current whereabouts. (A/N: Sorry…I had to write something intelligent…while writing this I can actually feel my brain turning to mush) Hermione turned to look at Harry and saw Ron come bursting through the door. She pulled Harry out of the way just before Ron flew through the hall…no literally…

**Flashback**

Ron saw that Draco was a little out of it and grinned evilly. He ran after him and stopped him a little ways before he got to the house. Ron grabbed his shoulders and leaned into (A/N: Well, you know…no need to go into detail and give us all nightmares.) Suddenly Draco snapped back into reality just as Ron was about to…(A/N: See the above). Draco whipped out his wand and sent him crashing through the door of the house. Draco quickly put his hands in his pocket and walked away whistling a nice, happy tune that somehow reminds me of `sooomewherrrrrrrrre over the raaaainboooooooow waaaaaaaaaaay up hiiiiiiiiiigh'.

**End Flashback**

Harry and Hermione saw that Ron was bleeding pretty bad and saw that a rather large piece of wood was sticking through his arm. Ron twitched violently and then fell into unconsciousness. Harry and Hermione looked down at him and continued on with their conversation leaving him to rot like the weas…(A/N: Me: What? Readers: You can't do that! Harry and Hermione wouldn't do that! Me: MWHAHAHAHA DIE, RON, DIE!!!)

(A/N: *cough*) Okay, okay!

Harry and Hermione rushed to Ron and helped him up. With one of his arms slug over each they got him over to the couch and brought in some nice warm butterbeer for him. (A/N: Are you happy now?!?!?)

Sneak Peak:

"Now, all we need is…ah, yes, sugar." Lupin said. James and Sirius started whistling and glancing around the room, unable to make eye contact with Lupin. "Okay, what did you do?" Lupin asked exasperatedly. "Nothing! Why would you think we did something?!?!? I mean…do we look like we'd do something wrong?" Sirius and James yelled defensively in unison and with a flick of their wands a faint halo appeared above their heads as they smiled innocently at Lupin.

A/N1: Hey all, I'm glad you're all (most of you) are keeping up with this story - it's strange that it's strange yet so long. If you're looking for my humor then you could check out my new One Shot `NEWTs, the Flu and Chocolate' I think it turned out great. Thanks for reading!!!

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