Don't compare your spouse to a famous somebody.
Ginny
"I absolutely adore those leather pants on him. He's got such a cute butt," Ginny cooed.
"That's repulsive. Even for you," Draco muttered.
"I wish I were those pants."
"Now you've crossed the territory into obscene."
"How can you not love Blaise? He's famous," Ginny sighed heavenly.
"Well, he's my cousin, for one. I'm not into incest, Gin."
"I know, but still. I bet he'd be a great shag."
"GIN!"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. Would you fancy a threesome with him?"
"Absolutely not!"
"I just want to grab his hair and shove him down-"
"You can do that to me!"
"Yeah, I could. But I like his hair. It's black like Harry's."
Draco glared at the offending witch.
"Don't mention his name in my presence."
"Oh, hush up. Old rivalries. Get over it."
"I'm still disgusted at how you could like that bespectacled git before falling in love with me. We're complete opposites. I'm good looking and he's just funny looking."
"Oh, stop. Don't be mean.
"Look at him! He's a bloody frog! The only difference is that he, unlike the frog, refuses to croak."
"DRACO MALFOY! Now that's enough! That's not nice at all!"
"I never said I was nice."
"You could at least make a bloody effort, you pig."
"For you, anything," he smirked.
Draco
"I just want to fuck her in every position in the Kama Sutra."
"That's absolutely disgusting. You can even tell that her knockers are fake."
"So? They're big. I'd pay for you to get them resized."
"Over your dead body. It can be arranged quite easily, you know."
"Yes, yes. I bloody well know. But she's got such a nice, tight, wet -"
"Stop! I don't want to hear it!"
They sat on the couch in relative silence, watching the television that Mr. Weasley had given them on their one year wedding anniversary. Unfortunately, they lost the remote while Draco was watching porn and they forgot how to change the channels manually. Since they lived in a all muggle neighborhood, they couldn't perform magic unless it was a dire circumstance.
"She's too skinny," Ginny commented vaguely.
"No, she's not. She'd fit perfectly into my hands."
"And what am I? Fat?"
"No. Nicely rounded," Draco grinned, praying that it would get him out of this mess.
Ginny shrieked. Draco took that as a bad sign. A very bad sign.
"Gin… Put down your wand. I meant that as a good thing. You have meat on your bones. I love that."
Ginny's erratic breathing calmed down a bit.
"Now let's sit down and watch the telly."
They each sat on one end of the couch.
"I hate you, Draco Malfoy."
"I love you, too, Ginny Malfoy."
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