Chapter 12:
Worst Christmas Present
A/N: Things start to get sad…
True to his word, Jeremiah was in Matthew's hospital room fifteen minutes early, waiting to be with him during yet another round of chemo. When Jeremiah met Matthew, he seemed a little sad. True, Jeremiah didn't feel peachy keen either.
"Hey, Matt. What's wrong?"
Matthew looked at his hero and gave a sniffle. "Dr. Regina took some of my blood about fifteen minutes ago, and I hate needles."
Jeremiah nodded in agreement. "I hate needles so much."
Matthew hopped up onto the hospital bed, waiting for Dr. Regina to come in and hook him up. He looked at Jeremiah expectantly. Normally, Jeremiah would clown around and do everything he could to be a world-class idiot (i.e. Blowing up gloves and sticking them on his head, dancing around the room, or just telling a dumb joke to Matthew to make him laugh). But that day, Jeremiah looked silently out the window, apparently unaware that Matthew was watching him. Matthew cleared his throat and Jeremiah looked at him in surprise, almost as though he was just realizing why he was in the hospital room on such a bright, shining day.
"The sun is quite dazzling today." Matthew looked at him uncertainly, not knowing what was wrong with his friend. "I'm glad that it's finally cold."
Before Matthew could say anything about Jeremiah's weird comments, Dr. Regina came in followed by a teary Harry and Hermione. Dr. Regina smiled at Matthew and patted him gently on the arm. "Matthew, we've analyzed your blood test." He blinked at her, waiting for her to continue. "Well, we're sorry to find that your abnormal white blood cells, the bad ones, seem to be multiplying. Some are being killed by the chemotherapy, but they're reforming as soon as more die."
"So…?"
"The chemo isn't working as it should be, sweetie." Hermione said wearily. "We're going to have to see today if we can increase the treatment by just a little bit."
"Will I get sick again?"
Hermione nodded. "I'm sorry, baby. You probably will get a little queasy."
"Oh." Matthew looked towards Jeremiah for reassurance, but found to his dismay that Jeremiah was once again looking out the window. He sighed and looked to Dr. Regina.
"Are you ready to get hooked up?"
"I'm ready." He clenched his eyes tightly as he always did when she inserted the painful IV and opened them only when he felt the fluid drip into his veins. He gave a huge sigh and slumped back against his pillows, all the while hating the treatment but refusing to show his emotions. Jeremiah watched him silently. Matthew was glad he was there, but he wished he would actually talk.
"Jeremiah? Are you okay today?"
He gave an absentminded nod and a tiny smile. "I'm just not feeling the greatest today. I think I'm getting a cold or something."
"Oh."
"But don't worry about me! I'll be okay as soon as I get some Sudafed or something."
Matthew tried to smile, but his face was instantly contorted by a yawn. "I'm getting really tired."
"You go on and sleep if you have to, Matt. I'll be here for you if you wake up and need anyone to talk to."
Matthew opened his mouth to thank Jeremiah, but another yawn erupted and he fell promptly asleep.
When he woke up, the IV was out of his arm; he had slept through the treatment. He opened his eyes slowly and blinked; not wanting to wake up too quickly for fear that he would get sick. Hermione came to his bedside and said something to him, but he could barely understand her words. He tried to sit up, but the second his head was off of the pillow, he became so dizzy that he could barely even see anything before his eyes crossed over and he fell back against his pillow. The only thing that he had been able to see was the vacant chair where Jeremiah had promised to be sitting when he woke up.
Matthew had to stay in the hospital overnight due to his reactions to the increase in chemo. During that whole time, Jeremiah never returned.
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Harry and Hermione had expected Matthew to be tired and weakened from his treatments for a few days afterwards. His poor little body always got somewhat tuckered out after a treatment, but he usually bounced back to almost normality in a few days. To their horror, the latest treatment affected him deeper than it usually did. The slight increase of the chemo left him lazing around with minimal strength capacity for almost a week and a half until the sixth month period since his first treatment. Matthew finally stopped feeling so bad, but Harry could tell that his son was still very weakened. He was very brave about it, though, and showed no sign of his pain.
Christmas was swiftly approaching, and excitement and joy filled the air. Matthew woke up every morning with a longing for snow in his heart. Sadly, the sky was clear and slightly sunny, despite the fact that temperatures reached no higher than 20 degrees. Matthew was filled with holiday excitement just like every kid in the world and spent hours lying beneath the enchanted, undying Christmas tree, living for the fresh smell of pine needles and watching the wood fairies twinkle around the branches. His parents showed him how to make a string of popcorn and cookie dough ornaments, a good way to pass the time when he began to feel worse.
A week before the 23rd, the day that the chemo kids planned to get together for a Christmas party, Harry and Hermione took Matthew Christmas shopping for his fellow patients. Matthew was ecstatic when he found a green beanie for Jeremiah to wear over his bald token of friendship and help. Hermione helped him wrap it carefully in Coca-Cola bear wrapping paper and let him store it under the tree by his presents for his parents.
Those days before Christmas were perfect times for the Potters. Matthew experienced all the typical wonderment of childhood and found an undying amazement in a magic that could not be taught in a school or a textbook. Winter had cast its spell, and he was completely in a trance from its beauty.
On the morning of the 23rd, Matthew woke up incredibly early and went into his parents' room, jumping between them and squealing with excitement that the party was that evening.
"Okay, Matthew, okay!" Harry laughed while reaching down to tickle his squirming son. "The party's not until 7 tonight. We'll make it in time, I promise."
"But we have to make cookies!"
Hermione sighed and sat up in bed. "Yes, I know. We'll make cookies, any kind you like, dear."
"Sugar. With lots of sugar on top!" He gave a little bounce towards his mother and she laughed warmly.
"Do you know what the weatherman said last night?" Harry couldn't wait to tell his son.
"What?"
"There's a 90% chance of snow this evening."
"REALLY?!?"
"Yup. And if we get any, I'm going to take you outside to play in it, and we'll build a snowman and snow angels and make snow ice cream, and…"
"Okay, Daddy, okay!" He laughed, Harry trying unsuccessfully to frown. Hermione gave a sigh and pulled the covers back so she could get out of bed. Matthew followed her; not too much later Harry joined them. The little family went down to the kitchen and began to make sugar cookies, cutting them into shapes of reindeer and candy canes. When they were sent to their doom in the hot oven, Matthew's excitement waned and he began to experience boredom and impatience. He spent the day walking around solemnly, unable to wait until the party that would occur that evening. He asked his parents every fifteen minutes if it was time to go yet, to which he was answered, "No, please stop asking! It's still a long time until we leave!" Finally, after he asked for what seemed the bajillionth time, Harry finally let him get on his little coat and gather the three little presents from under the tree. He trembled with excitement and cold as they headed towards the SUV. His excitement grew as they neared the hospital, and he began to chatter incessantly. Finally, they got to the hospital, and Matthew barged in like a rampaging army, passing a merry group of carolers, and quickly found his way to the elevator and pressed the appropriate button to take him to the cancer ward.
The meeting room had been completely transformed from how it normally looked. Paper snowflakes that Matthew, Missy Lyn, and Keith had been making for the past few weeks were hung from the ceiling, decorated with glitter and sequins. A huge Christmas tree had been set in the corner, brightly decorated packages littered beneath it. Christmas lights were strung about, casting a shimmery glow on everyone's complexion. Matthew walked to the tree and placed his presents under it before going to join Missy Lyn and Keith in the corner. Jeremiah wasn't present; neither was Dr. Regina. Matthew began to wonder where he was, but he pushed the thought away from his mind as Keith began to talk to him. Matthew had never really talked to Keith previously, but he seemed to be a very cheery person. He talked about dinosaurs, a favorite subject of Matthew's. The two engaged in an incredibly long conversation on who would win the fight between a brontosaurus and a stegosaurus. Missy Lyn watched the two boys with pale eyes widened, wondering how they could talk so much about such a dull subject. The grownups watched them with mild interest as they waited for Dr. Powers and Dr. Regina to appear. Finally, at half past the hour, Dr. Powers came in with a troubled look on his face.
"Hello, everyone. Nice to see everyone here."
"Not everyone's here." Matthew piped up cheerily. "Jeremiah's not here."
"Yes, I know. He won't be here for a while, I don't think. Let's go on and get started."
"Where is he?" Matthew was determined to find out where Jeremiah was. Dr. Powers looked uneasy.
"He…He had his six month check-up earlier, and he's still in his hospital room for the moment."
"Why?"
"I…Let's open presents!"
"Can I go see him?"
"Matthew," Hermione said warningly. "Don't pester Dr. Powers."
Dr. Powers pretended to not hear Matthew's question or Hermione's response. He went to the tree and began rummaging underneath to gather all of the presents. He handed them out to the recipients, and mass chaos ensued as wrapping paper flew about everywhere as all the presents were opened. Missy Lyn and Keith ran about in excitement at their new toys, but Matthew was too annoyed by the pestering question that pervaded his thoughts. He knew that something huge was wrong or that something really bad was about to happen, but he couldn't put his finger on the problem. After all the presents were opened, the kids went to a corner to play with their new possessions and the adults went to an opposite corner to talk. As the kids played, Matthew looked to Keith before checking to make sure no parents were watching.
"Keith," Matthew whispered harshly.
"What is it?" Keith knew something was up by the intense look on Matthew's face.
"I need to find Jeremiah. Will you please cover for me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, just keep the adults busy if they find out I've gone. I'm going to go find him."
"Good luck, mate." Keith gave a little salute to Matthew and he nodded. Matthew looked cautiously to the adults before making a slow movement towards the doorway. When he was mere inches from the doorway, he took off on a dead run out the door. He really didn't know where he was going; there was no telling where Jeremiah was. Matthew couldn't read the door signs, so he just had to take a guess as to which direction he should go. He peeked into six different rooms before finally finding a dimly lit room with Jeremiah lying still on a bed. Matthew walked in quietly and hopped up onto the chair beside the bed. Jeremiah looked over at him with an angry look, but his features softened when he saw that it was Matthew.
"Hey, Matt. What are you doing in here instead of being at the party?"
"That's what I came to ask you."
Jeremiah sighed and looked up to the ceiling, eyes glazed over as they so often were. "It was too good to be true."
Matthew was startled, not quite knowing what Jeremiah was saying. "What…?"
"I never thought that I'd survive it, so going into remission was an absolute miracle to me. I was glad that I had been wrong, cause I just knew I was going to die."
"Okay…"
"I must have been right the whole time."
A shiver went up Matthew's spine and he began to feel afraid. "Jeremiah, what are you talking about?"
"I've had a relapse."
Matthew looked at him, waiting for an explanation. He took a deep breath and continued.
"The leukemia's back, Matt. And this time it looks bad." Matthew gasped and put his hand to his mouth.
"No, no it can't have! You were in remission! That meant that you were cancer-free!"
"Yeah, I was in remission, but sometimes those in remission have their cancer return."
"Oh, Jeremiah, you can't! You were healthy, you've got to be kidding me…"
"I wish I was." Jeremiah's voice cracked and he began to cry. Matthew watched as though frozen in time. His heartbeat rushed in his ears and he felt a strong feeling of disbelief, almost as though he was having a bad dream. Suddenly, his best friend and `big brother' no longer seemed an immortal role model: he was human and was once again faced with a fight for his life.
"Matthew, dear," Hermione's voice came from the door. "I know you're in there. We need to go, it's getting late. Say goodbye to Jeremiah. You'll be able to see him again soon." Matthew looked at Jeremiah, still stunned, and threw his arms around the neck of the teenage boy. Jeremiah smiled through his tears and patted Matthew's back.
"I'm sorry, Matt. I didn't mean to scare you."
Matthew had no words to say, so he just ran off to his mother. Thankfully for Matthew, Harry and Hermione were silent on the way down to the lobby. When they went outside, the carolers were in the same place they had been previously, singing Joy to the World with dulcet tones. Matthew couldn't see how they were singing of joy when such a bitter reality existed only five floors above their heads. As they walked towards the SUV, a snowflake landed on Matthew's nose, followed by another and another. The snow he had longed for had finally come, but in light of recent circumstances, it seemed as though just another occurrence that had no importance to his life.
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