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The Hardest Thing by Little_Katie_Bug09
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The Hardest Thing

Little_Katie_Bug09

Chapter 6

Thursday Support Group 1

Matthew was released from the hospital on Tuesday morning, 24 hours later than he normally should have been because of the complications he had had with the chemotherapy. He was weak and tired, but his childish stamina kept him going on, pretending that nothing had happened to him and that nothing ever would. But despite his feeling of immortality, he was still too sick to do much other than stay inside and lounge around in an attempt to recuperate. His time spent in time felt like torture-after all, a three-year-old boy can only sit still for so long, and the beautiful, end-of-summer days were calling to Matthew, luring him to a promise of exercise and fun.

After doing next to nothing for a whole day, Hermione and Harry loaded Matthew up in the car and took him back to the hospital.

"Mommy, I don't want to get chemo!" Matthew's tormented cries came as he fought to escape from the car. "I don't wanna be brave today!" Harry looked in the backseat and ruffled Matthew's thick, black hair.

"We are going to the hospital, but you're not getting chemo today. It's Thursday; you'll get to see Jeremiah and all the other chemo kids! I promise, it'll be fun."

"Promise I won't have chemo?"

"Not today, anyways."

Matthew, satisfied with this answer, leaned back in his little car seat and looked out the window silently as they made their way to the hospital. They got out of the car, met the receptionist at the front desk, and found their way to the support group meeting room.

When they stepped in the room, they found only Jeremiah and the eight-year-old boy alone in the room.

"Hello," Harry said. "Are we in the right place?"

Jeremiah stood up in respect and smiled. "Hey, guys. Matt's in the right place. The parents are in the next room. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him," Jeremiah added, noting Hermione's look of motherly concern.

"All right. Be good, Matthew."

"I will." He hugged her legs and went to sit beside Jeremiah. When the Potter parents left, Jeremiah stood up and clapped his hands together.

"Okay, boys. Looks like it's just us three today. Missy Lyn is in chemo right now, and Keith wasn't able to make it today. Now, Matt, I just want to reintroduce you… this is Jerrod. Jerrod, this is Matt. He had his first chemo treatment two days ago, so now he knows what it's like for all of us."

Jerrod grunted from his corner and crossed his arms. Matthew gave a little wave but put his hand down at Jerrod's glares. Jeremiah cleared his throat to break the awkward silence.

"So, Matt, do you mind if I call you Matt?"

Matthew shook his head.

"Great. I just have this weird thing where I always shorten everyone's names. Just ask Jer."

"It's Jerrod, if you will," growled Jerrod from the corner. Matthew's eyes grew wide and he scooted his chair closer to Jeremiah's. Jeremiah scowled and turned back to Matthew.

"So, Matt. How's your week been?"

"I hate chemo. It made me real sick. And now my mommy and daddy won't let me do anything because they say I'm too weak."

"I'm sorry to hear that. But I will tell you something: I know that sometimes it might be hard, especially when you want to go play and run and be free, but your parents usually know best. You have been tired, no?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"They're doing what's best for you. They want you to stay healthy for as long as they can, and they know that you'll tire yourself out too quickly."

"I've never thought of it that way. I guess you're right."

"Hard times are ahead, Matthew, but I have faith in you, faith that you can stay strong and beat this horrific disease. I remember how someone had faith in me, and because of that person's faith, I was determined to keep going, and now, here I am, almost in remission. That means my cancer's almost gone."

"Oh."

Jerrod sighed from the corner and Jeremiah turned to him. "What's wrong with you, J-Man?"

"Stop lying to the little guy."

"What do you mean?"

"Here you stand, pretending like everything's all fine and dandy; life's a bushel of roses for you, isn't it? You're about to get a clean bill, and everything's completely perfect for all cancer kids."

Jeremiah's face turned red, but he kept his cool. "You know that's not true."

"Then why do you live life like it is? Why do you have to tell the kid that everything will be okay for him? Not all kids survive this, you know, heck, I really don't think any of us will survive this crap! But you just have to be all, `Oh, we're going to get through this because nothing bad could happen to the world!' Well, you know what? People die, Jeremiah."

"You think I don't know that? I probably know that better than anyone! I had to watch my hero and only friend die to this disease, and that is why I try to keep people hopeful! Because I know this disease sucks, but we've got to join together to fight together!"

"Oh, I know that this disease sucks! I'm only a little younger than nine, and I know I'm going to die soon!"

"Don't say that, Jer…"

"No, Jeremiah, I'm serious. I'm dying."

"What do you mean?" By this time, both boys had practically forgotten Matthew's presence.

"I'm dying," Jerrod repeated, his voice calming down. "I had a checkup yesterday, and the doc told me that I've stopped responding to treatments. I knew that lately, I've been unable to concentrate and my headaches have been getting worse and worse. Come to find out, it's because the cancer is eating away at my brain, and it's never going to stop." He paused for a second before speaking again, his voice full of anger and gusto. "It's just so freakin' unfair! I mean, just look at the kid! He's only three, for gosh sakes! And yet, he's stuck with this hell! I've had to go through the worst, and I know! He's still completely innocent, and he's already had to go through more than most kids his age will ever have to go through! Trust me, kid! If you have a single chance to go outside and just listen to the bugs chirp or watch the sunset, do it, because it's the only thing in life that is truly perfect! It is just wrong that we are forced to go through this, and that we will die! I don't care what you say, there is no hope for us, and no reason to keep on acting like everything will be okay!" Jerrod wiped the tears from his eyes and ran from the room, ignoring Jeremiah's traveling voice. He slammed the door behind him, and Jeremiah raised his hands over his head and groaned. He sat down beside Matthew and put his head in his hands.

Matthew looked to Jeremiah, his eyes wide and his heart pounding with fear. "J-Jeremiah?"

Jeremiah jerked up and looked at Matthew for a nanosecond until he closed his eyes in fury. "Oh, gosh, little man. I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"I'm scared, Jeremiah."

Jeremiah sighed and put his arm around the small boy. "Listen, normally Jerrod is a great guy, but he's just really upset right now. Have you ever had a pet or something die?"

Matthew nodded. "Crookshanks, our cat died of old age. It was scary."

"I bet." He nodded in agreement. "Just think of how scary it would be if you were the one that was dying."

Matthew screwed his face in a mess trying to imagine, but finally gave up. "That's scary."

"Yeah. I just hate that this had to happen to Jerrod, of all people."

"Whaddya mean?"

Jeremiah stared at the wall with a funny look in his eyes. "He just…knew."

"Knew what?"

He shook his head and turned to Matthew, the funny look gone from his eyes. "Nothing. So, when's your birthday?"

"June 18th," said Matthew, not even noticing the quick conversation change. "I just turned three."

"Wow. That's really cool. My birthday's in 5 days."

Matthew blinked. "So when is it?"

Jeremiah laughed. "June 30th. Just another thing that's the same between us: both June bugs."

Matthew laughed. "So what do you want for your birthday?"

"Remission. My hopefully final checkup is on the 29th, and I hope to be in remission when I turn 16."

Matthew smiled. "I hope you get your wish."

Jeremiah just smiled and ruffled Matthew's hair, a motion that everyone seemed to always do when around him.

The two boys sat for a moment in contemplation before getting into a deep conversation about dinosaurs, crayons, and everything else under the sun. Harry and Hermione came in an hour or so later, to find their son and Jeremiah sitting on the floor and laughing so hard that tears rolled down their faces. And Harry, who had been so worried about Matthew, couldn't help but laugh, too.

A/N: So this chapter's a little bit shorter. Thanks to all those who replied to my chemo question last chapter. Please keep reading, I know this is quite emotional, but it will be worth it if you read to the ending.

Katie


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