Chapter 20
Keep On Fighting
As soon as Harry and Hermione went into the examination room with Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Regina sneaked around the nurse's station and headed for Matthew's room. She rapped on the door softly with her fist and softly pushed the door open. Matthew, lying limply on the bed, turned apathetically to the door, saw Regina, and turned back to look out the window. She walked over to him quietly and sat at the chair that Jeremiah had always previously occupied. He looked at her briefly and did a double take. Why was she sitting in his room, when she normally only entered to check on his status?
"What are you doing here?" He really didn't mean to sound rude, he was just so surprised. Dr. Regina smiled at him sadly.
"I just wanted to talk to you and see how you're doing."
"I'm fine."
"Matt, please don't lie to me. I know you're hurting, and I want you to be able to talk to me."
"You wouldn't understand."
"I'd understand better than your parents or the other doctors would. I was closer to him than anyone else." Matt's mouth formed an `o'. He had forgotten that Dr. Regina was his aunt, a substitute mother. He looked towards the wall and gave a great sigh before turning back to the doctor.
"I miss him. I know he's only been gone for four months, but it feels like forever."
Dr. Regina gave him a sympathetic smile. "I know, love, I know. Some days it is so hard to even wake up to the knowledge that he's gone. I know you'll never forget him, cause he has helped you through a lot of hard times in your life, but you will have other friends, others that you will care deeply about."
"No, I won't."
"What are you talking about?" The sympathetic smile had gone from her face and Matt sighed.
"He died. And I was just like him. So I'm gonna die."
"Oh, sweetie," She reached out and softly gave a motherly touch to the side of his cheek. "That's so not true. Yes, Jeremiah died, and we'll miss him greatly, but that doesn't mean that you have to die."
"It doesn't?" Matthew blinked in surprise, almost as though he hadn't thought of another possibility.
"Oh, sweetie, of course not! You are your own individual human being, completely and totally different from Jeremiah! Yes, your cases were similar, but that doesn't mean that you will end up exactly like him! In fact, oh, I don't know, but I've always had a gut instinct that you would make it out of here!"
"Why?"
She shook her head. "Something about you is special, I don't know what it is. I just have always thought that you'd survive. I really think God has a great plan in store for your life."
Matt thought about this for a while, wondering what God could possibly have in store for his future. "It just seems so wrong, going on with life when Jeremiah's dead."
"Trust me, I know. I know I will never be the same, and I'm pretty sure you won't either. But Jeremiah would absolutely hate it if you just gave up because of him. I know he'd agree with me when I say that he'd want you to fight for your life with everything you've got. And if you get through this, you'll be stronger than you ever imagined possible. Plus, Jeremiah was a Christian, and you are, too! His death wasn't the final good-bye: you'll see him again in heaven!"
Matthew thought about her words, and a new hope dawned in his heart. For the first time since Jeremiah's death, he realized that he didn't necessarily have to die! It finally clicked in his mind that the God that he had accepted into his heart months earlier as his Lord and Savior was in control, and that it was up to God to either continue life on earth or take him away to his home on high.
But now he knew for sure that whatever time he had left alive, he would use it to fight for all he was worth, as a tribute to Jeremiah, Keith, and all the others he had lost.
When he turned back to Dr. Regina, his face was beaming for the first time in almost half a year. She returned the smile and leaned over to hug him tightly. After a few moments, she pulled away and began to fish around in her pocket until she extracted a weathered leather wallet.
"I want to give you something, Matt."
"What is it?" Matt's interest was instantly piqued. She gave a sad little look and opened the wallet gingerly.
"It's Jeremiah's wallet. He always kept it with him, and I just can't bring myself to stop carrying it around."
She dug in the wallet until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out two pieces of paper, one older than the other, and placed them both on Matt's bedside table. He picked them both up and unfolded them carefully. As he saw what was on both, he looked quickly up to Dr. Regina, tears in his eyes.
"What-?"
"Yes, it is." In Matt's outstretched palm was the crayon picture that he had drawn for Jeremiah on his sixteenth birthday, the same birthday that he had gone into remission. He reached his hand out slowly and brushed it over the softened crayola drawing of himself, standing beside his best friend.
The other paper was a similar crayon drawing, only this one was much more detailed and not of stick people. There was a fully formed little Jeremiah; standing beside someone who Matt could only assume was his hero, Isaac.
Matt looked to her again, puzzled. "Why are these things in his wallet?"
"Did he ever tell you to keep the things that reminded you of things that were important to your life?"
Matt nodded, remembering Missy Lyn's valentine.
She shrugged. "Those were the two things he always kept. I wanted you to have them so you could keep them now."
Matt examined them for a while longer before looking to the older lady again.
"Why him? I mean, why am I still here, when he died, when Isaac died? Why am I the only survivor while others like Missy Lyn and Keith and Jerrod died, too?"
Dr. Regina shook her head. "We may never know, we can only know that God has a plan and a purpose for you."
"That just a really small-seeming reason."
"Yes, it is vague, but you have so many reasons to keep fighting. You can fight to grow up, go to school, fall in love, etc." As she said these words, a knock sounded at the door. She apologized to Matt with a promise of quick return and went to the door. While she was gone, Matt stared out the window, amazed at the potential life he had, thankful that he was alive on this very day, and wondering how many more days he had.
When Dr. Regina came back in, there was a huge smile on her face. "I'd like to tell you of another great reason for your life."
"What?"
"You're going to be a big brother; your mom's going to have a baby."
A/N: Hmm… This story has 15924 hits, and only 191 reviews. PLEASE, PLEASE, if you read this, PLEASE review, even if you think this story sucks. This story is really important to me, and I really really REALLY want to do a sequel, but it all depends on if anyone else cares to see more of this story after this story is over.
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