Chapter 16:
Angels
A/N: If you need a refresher on things mentioned in this chapter, go reread chapter 9.
The days of that March were beautiful, more summer than spring. All the bugs and birds were abundant, and the blooming fragrance of new life screamed to be explored, called out for every young child to run about the lush green grass, climb to the highest tree, and swing lazily on tire swings that were being put up all over the county. The universe was celebrating life, and all were invited eagerly to attend. Matthew's deepest heart's desire was to join in the life-giving song, but he knew he hadn't the strength nor the stamina to pursue any such frolic. Even if he could participate, he would be participating with guilt at the realization that Jeremiah wasn't able to be a part of the song. For Matthew was beginning to feel the first real worry of his life with the knowledge that after almost two months of hospitalization, Jeremiah was not showing any signs of improvement.
In the beginning, Matthew had tried his hardest to get in to see Jeremiah-and was turned down every time by the doctors, who insisted that a four year old was much too little to go into ICU. He finally succumbed to his restriction from visitation and instead spent his time drawing pictures to try to cheer Jeremiah up while he was sick.
So it was to much surprise-and a great deal of rushing-when the hospital called the Potters on their hardly used home phone early in the morning of March 21st, requesting that Matthew be brought up to visit Jeremiah. Hermione had answered the phone, and, sensing the urgency in Dr. Regina's voice, motioned for Harry to rush to get Matthew ready. The family was in the car and on the freeway in less than ten minutes.
As they drove towards destiny, Matthew stared silently out the window, needing to speak but not knowing what he should say. He wanted to ask his mommy why there was so much urgency that they rushed to the hospital so quickly, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer. A strange, funny feeling was creeping into his chest, and he knew the feeling had nothing to do with his cancer. After all, he had become accustomed to certain things that he attributed to his illness-dizzy spells, fatigue, weakness, etc. But this wasn't a health related feeling: it was a feeling of the emotions, a feeling of foreboding.
When the family entered into the hospital front doors, the familiar receptionist jumped up and ran towards them.
"Oh, good, Mr. Potter, Mrs… you're here. Please go straight up to the cancer ward; don't tarry!" Harry gave an understanding, wary nod and pushed Matthew gently towards the elevator. They got on and slowly descended to the necessary floor, no one daring to say a word. When the metallic doors slid open, they were met by a flustered Dr. Powers. His glasses were askew and the lines around his eyes seemed to have deepened, making him look years older than he already was.
"Matt, I'm glad you're here. Get back on the elevator."
"Why?" Matt asked as he returned to the elevator.
"You're going to go visit Jeremiah. His fever has broken so you won't get sick, but, well…onward we go." He pressed the 2nd floor button and cast his eyes towards the ceiling in an order to avoid his companions' stares. Harry cleared his throat and looked towards the doctor.
"Why is Matthew's need to see Jeremiah so urgent?"
The elevator dinged and the doors slid open again. Dr. Powers completely ignored the question and instead shuffled the family into the corridor. They stood quietly by the nurse's station until Dr. Powers motioned for them to follow him. Matt's eyes widened as the big metal ICU doors were opened and he was allowed to step inside.
Surprisingly, intensive care wasn't much different from every other section of the hospital. It had the same walls, floors, and sterile smell of any hospital. But this place was different, somehow quieter, with a highly tense atmosphere. The whole area was still as death, and the putrid smell of gloom and sickness was overwhelming. Matthew's clomping footsteps sounded like rolls of menacing thunder in his ears. A small shiver went down his spine and he gave a little twitch, causing Hermione to give him a startled glance before gently placing her soft hand on his shoulder. When it seemed they had walked down the lonely corridor for what seemed forever, Dr. Powers stopped in front of a ghostly white door and rapped in gently with his knuckles. A brief moment later, Dr. Regina appeared at the door, eyes bloodshot and puffy.
"Oh, Matt, it's so nice to see you here. Jeremiah wants to see you once again."
Matt nodded and gave an expectant look to Hermione, as if begging her to follow him. Dr. Regina seemed to read his mind.
"Dear, go in on your own. I need to speak with your parents privately." Matthew nodded cautiously and pushed the big door open enough to allow his entrance. Dr. Regina gave a sad smile and motioned for Harry and Hermione to stay just outside with her.
The interior of Jeremiah's room was really dim without a ray of sunshine. The only light was the soft glow from the poor lamp and the greenish color of the bleeping dots of the monitor. The monitor was keeping in time with Jeremiah's heartbeat, so carefully hooked up to his arm. Matt took a step closer and stifled a sob when he saw Jeremiah lying on the hospital bed. His normal complexion was sunken and waxy, his nose was plugged with something to help him get oxygen, and his eyelids were a dark purplish color, making him appear dead. He had changed so much in the past two months, that Matthew was scared that he barely recognized his best friend. He walked slowly over and stood beside the hospital bed, just tall enough to lean his little elbows on the bed. At the pressure of his arms, Jeremiah's eyes fluttered open and he turned to Matthew. With this simple look, Matt's fears fled; those bright green eyes belonged to the guy he had always known. The only difference in his eyes was the absence of sparkle that had always been present previously.
"Matt," Jeremiah whispered softly, his voice scratchy and weak sounding. Matt forced a smile and gave a nervous little hop.
"I'm glad to see you, Jeremiah."
"I wanted to see you one more time, little guy." His words came slowly and with apparent difficulty. Matt nodded with understanding.
"You don't have to talk if it's too difficult. I can leave and come back another time or-"
"No. You-can't leave. I need to, talk, to you, Matt."
The room was silent except for the steady beep of the heart monitor. Matt looked at the incredibly ill Jeremiah in expectancy. His eyes closed in a funny way, appearing as though Jeremiah was fighting a wave of nausea. His heavy breathing made Matthew realize that his friend was really, really sick. With a great deal of effort, Jeremiah turned over so that he could clearly see his young friend's face.
"You're a good kid, Matt." Matt smiled and touched his shoulder softly. "You're one of the only reasons I made it this far."
"Made it this far in what?"
"Life. I kept fighting to live so that I could be there for you to try to help you." His words were quiet and strained. "Thank you for keeping me alive, but I always knew it would all boil down to this."
"What? Jeremiah, what are you talking about?" A note of panic rose in Matt's voice and Jeremiah took the deepest breath he possibly could with the tubes in his nose.
"You've got to beat this, Matt. And when you do," he paused for another muffled breath. "Remember everything. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, and all the things you're going through will make you who you're destined to become." Jeremiah's eyes lolled and Matt could see he was getting tired.
"I will, Jeremiah, and I'll come back to see you tomorrow, `K?"
Jeremiah's eyes were forced open and he grabbed Matt's arm. "No, you can't. Goodbye, Matt. You're my best friend, never forget." Matt's eyes began to tear up against his will. Jeremiah's eyes lolled back and he fell promptly asleep, leaving Matt to sit beside his bed with only the beeping heart monitor to keep him company. Keeping his word to Jeremiah, Matthew sat back in the big chair and began to think about the things that he had experienced since his diagnosis, 1 year and 9 months ago. As his thoughts wandered along the paths of his memories, he remembered Jerrod for the first time in a long time. For some strange reason, words began to form in his head until he vividly remembered a conversation he and Jeremiah had had after Jerrod's death.
"Matt, do you believe in angels?" Matthew nodded, thinking that this was a very funny question. Jeremiah smiled, and continued.
"I do, too. Do you know what angels are?"
"They're God's people and messengers, sent to watch over people."
"Yeah, pretty much. But there's one other thing that I believe angels do."
"What?"
"They come down from heaven and take those whose earthly bodies are tired and worn out home to their heavenly father."
Matthew thought for a moment, imagining a sick, old person being carried up to heaven with a shining escort. Jeremiah cleared his throat and spoke.
"The angels came to the hospital this morning, and they took Jerrod away from us."
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and a shiver went down his spine, despite the warm room. He didn't know why that conversation had suddenly reappeared in his thoughts, but suddenly, a thought came to him like a bolt of lightning. He vividly remembered Jeremiah saying that he could tell that the angels were with Jerrod when he had visited him, preparing to take him away. His little mouth opened in a gasp and he turned ever so slowly towards the hospital bed where his best friend lay.
And in that moment, he fully understood what Jeremiah had spoken of so long ago.
Although Matt didn't actually see any winged beings around Jeremiah, something had changed. There was a calm, peaceful stillness around Jeremiah. Earlier his eyes, so weary and dark looking, were now perking up somehow, almost as though he was smiling in his sleep. His breathing ceased being so heavy and slowed down dramatically. Matt was terrified and intrigued at the same time; his feet were frozen to the floor.
As he stood there, frozen with fear, the heart monitor stopped beeping. It went on a straight line, and Matthew, not knowing what else to do, screamed as loud as he could.
The next few moments were a blur as Dr. Regina and Dr. Powers and other doctors that Matthew didn't know rushed to the hospital bed to try to save Jeremiah. Tears streamed down Matthew's cheeks. He was in the same place he had been previously, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, Hermione appeared behind him, tears flowing from her eyes, too.
"Matthew, come on, we have to go!"
He shook his head slowly, eyes still riveted on the bed and his feet still frozen.
"Matthew, please!" She ran towards him and picked him up roughly in her arms and held him close to her heart, wishing she could erase the pain he had. As they rushed out of the room, Matthew caught a last glimpse of the bed, and although he didn't exactly know what had happened, the constant buzz of the heart monitor told him the most painful thing he had ever heard in his life.
His best friend was dead.
A/N: Omg, I just killed Jeremiah, I killed him, I killed him…
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