Chapter 5
Chemotherapy
The two days between Matthew's diagnosis and his first chemotherapy treatment were the family's last days of quiet peace. Harry took Matthew on two more mini-flights and Hermione made sure to have a huge batch of warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies waiting for him when they landed. Matthew wasn't worried in the least about his illness; it hadn't really affected him yet, but his parents were carefully concealing their parental concerns by trying their hardest to make everything seem normal.
As hard as they tried to stop time, however, it just kept going on. Sunday morning arrived with a sky of gray that mirrored Harry's emotions. The family got back into the little yellow SUV and drove back to the hospital. Matthew sang along loudly and off pitch to Radio Disney, unaware that he was sick and would be going through a treatment today that he would grow to hate.
When they pulled into the children's center, Harry slowly unbuckled his seatbelt, not wanting to have to take his only son back into that building where so many painful things had already occurred. Hermione looked at Harry knowingly and placed her thin hand on his leg, making his muscles twitch. She gave a reassuring smile, telling him with her eyes that they had to get this day over with. Harry sighed and got out of the car to get Matthew out of his little car seat. Hermione picked Matthew up and carried him into the building, not because he was being stubborn or was sick, but because she wanted to hold him close to her.
They made their way into the building and greeted the receptionist they had met three days earlier.
"Hello again, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter. What can I do for you guys today?"
"Hi! We'll probably be seeing a lot of you, because Matthew's here today for his very first chemotherapy treatment." Harry spoke cheerily, wanting to be positive in front of Matthew. The receptionist lowered her eyes to the computer screen.
"Oh, yes. Here is Matthew!" She clicked on a link to bring up the necessary information. "Yes. Matthew Potter's treatment will take place in room 707 in the research and treatment ward.
Hermione smiled. "Thank you very much. Come on, Matthew, Harry…" She led her family to the elevator and pushed the button to the floor they needed to access. They reached the Research and Treatment Ward and were led by a cheerful nurse to Room 707. She checked his blood pressure and other necessary things before placing him on the soft hospital bed. She left a hospital gown and instructed Hermione to dress him. She helped him get his clothes off and put the little gown over his naked body.
When Matthew was comfortably seated on the hospital bed, Dr. Powers came in.
"Hey, Matthew! How are you doing, buddy?"
Matthew shrugged. "Okay."
"Good!" Dr. Powers put the stethoscope in his ears and listened to Matthew's heartbeat and his breathing. He finished and turned to Harry and Hermione. "Since this is going to be his first chemotherapy treatment, we're going to give him the treatment and then keep him in the hospital overnight to make sure that the dosage we are going to give him doesn't hurt him." Hermione paled at his words but nodded in agreement. "Here in a few moments, one of our specialized treatment doctors will come in and get Matthew here hooked up to the treatment. She'll stay in here for a little while to make sure everything's okay."
Harry nodded. "Thank you so much, Dr. Powers." The doctor smiled and walked out of the small, dark hospital room. A quarter of an hour later, a pretty middle-aged doctor came into the room with a bag of yellowish substances in her gloved hands. She smiled at the family and hung up the bag on the IV pole.
"Hello," she extended her hand to Hermione and Harry, who both shook it vigorously. "I'm Dr. Regina Bryant. I'll be Matthew's treatment doctor." She turned to the bed where Matthew was sitting up in, white and scared. "You must be Matthew! It's nice to meet you! Tell me, how old are you, dear?"
"I'm three."
"Wow!" The doctor smiled. "You're a big boy! I have a son that's your age."
"Does he have luke-ee-me-ah?"
Dr. Bryant shook her head, tossing her light brown curls around her face. "No, he doesn't, but you do, and we're going to try to help you. What we're going to do is hook you up to this IV and have the liquid in the bag drip down and enter your blood. After this treatment is over, I'm going to keep you here overnight to make sure you're okay. Are you ready, babe?"
Matthew whimpered. "No. Do I have to?"
Hermione's eyes filled with tears. It just wasn't right that her son had to do something like this! He was only three years old, and a large portion of his childhood would be taken away by this stupid illness that had crept upon them all, seeping through his veins and being spread throughout his little body by the pumping of his heart. She knew that as he grew, he would learn about pain and fear and sickness instead of eating paste, using big pencils, and taking naps with his classmates in the afternoon. While other children his age frolicked and played, creating friendships that would last for life, Matthew would be alone in this same hospital, taking an unwanted treatment for a disease that had robbed him of life as he knew it.
As Hermione contemplated her son's situation, Dr. Regina injected the IV into Matthew's arm. He grimaced in pain, but refused to cry out, trying to be brave. The tears fell from Hermione's eyes as she saw his amazing courage and child-like innocence, knowing that he would experience more pain and sickness in the next three years than she had experienced in her whole life. He would overcome his fear of needles not by maturity but by experience; he would learn about death not from Crookshanks but by the death of others he would meet in the hospital. It was all too much, and Hermione couldn't stand to be in the room a moment longer.
She ran out of the room, not hearing Harry's questioning voice, asking her to wait. She went and sat in a chair by the elevator, willing her breathing to become steady again so that she could return to her precious son's room so that she could be his comforter, the one who would make everything all right.
As she sat there, trying to regain her composure, she heard the elevator ding open. She didn't think anything of it until she felt someone's presence beside her. She looked beside her and saw Jeremiah from the cancer support group. He looked at her and smiled.
"Hello, Mrs. Potter. Would you mind if I popped in and said hello to Matthew?"
Hermione was flabbergasted. "Sure. But, I, are you here for a doctor's visit or something?"
Jeremiah shook his head. "No. I just wanted to be here to support Matthew and help him get through this. I know better than the rest of the group how painful and hard chemo is on leukemia patients."
"Why did you come here?"
Jeremiah shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Matthew seems to be a lot like myself. When I was in chemotherapy, I had an older kid who had gone through it, too. He came and just sat with me during my treatments and kept me company. He gave me a lot of courage to keep fighting." He paused, reminiscing over some past event. "I want to help him beat this, and I want him to get out of here and be able to live his life to the extreme. He hasn't really gotten to live yet, and I want him to walk out of here cancer free."
Hermione smiled, and nodded to Jeremiah, as a strong feeling of respect for him welled in her chest. "He'd love to see you; he just got hooked up to the treatment. I'll take you to his room."
They walked off towards the hallway. Hermione turned to Jeremiah and began a conversation. "Are you in remission, Jeremiah?"
Jeremiah gave a brilliant grin and shrugged. "Not officially yet, but I haven't had chemo in a few months, and I've been feeling okay. In a few weeks I'll have a check-up by Dr. P and I'll find out for sure. Then I'll come in for a check-up every 6-8 months to make sure everything's okay."
"That's really amazing."
"Thanks. I just want to become completely cancer-free for Isaac."
"Isaac?"
"Isaac, the guy who gave me the courage to go on through my treatments."
"Oh."
Jeremiah grew silent and said no more until they reached Matthew's room. He rapped sharply on the door with his fist and entered the room. Dr. Regina was standing by Matthew's bed, checking a status on the electronic board. She turned and saw Jeremiah standing behind her. She gave him a huge hug and a chuckle.
"What brings you here, Jeremiah? You want some more chemo?"
Jeremiah grimaced. "That's all right. I just came to see Matthew." He walked over to the bed and smiled. "Hello. Remember me?"
"Jeremiah."
"Yup. And I've come to keep you company while this mean old lady gives you treatment." Matthew giggled. Dr. Regina sighed and hit Jeremiah on the back with her papers.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that, but only because you're my favorite patient." She
looked at him fondly, treating him like a son. "Jeremiah, dear, will you hold the fort down here for just a
minute? I need to have a word with Mr. and Mrs. Potter."
"Sure. When you return, all walls will be destroyed by crayons, the chemo will be knocked over into the wall, and the bedpan will be emptied out all over the floor." Dr. Regina tried to hit him again with the papers, but he ducked with a grin. She smiled and led Harry and Hermione down the hall into her little office. They took seats in two bright red chairs that sat nestled in front of her desk. She sat at the desk and pulled on a pair of black-rimmed glasses.
"Well, your son is in the process of his first treatment."
"Doctor," Harry said. "Can you tell us how successful you think his overall treatment will be?"
The glasses came off and she touched the corner of her mouth with the earpiece. "I'm going to be completely honest with you, things don't look completely good right now. From Dr. Powers's records, we've caught this really late, and he's so young that we can't give him too much of the chemotherapy. Truthfully, I'd say that the chance that we completely obliviate the cancer is about 10-25% positive." Hermione hiccupped and Harry's hand flew to his forehead.
"So is there no hope that our son will survive?" Harry's heart stopped with uncertainty, not really knowing if he wanted to know the doctor's answer
"Well, there's always hope. Miracles occur. Statistics change. Your son is a very brave little kid. I know things may seem hopeless, but never give up hope, for you never know what will happen. I just had to tell you the statistics. I'm sorry."
Harry nodded and tried to speak, but his voice gave way. He took Hermione's hand and led her away; she was in slight shock and was unable to walk without his arm around her. He led her to a small area beside Matthew's room and looked down into her still eyes.
"Oh, `Mione," he breathed into her hair. "I know that was horrible, but we've got to stay strong. That's are little boy in there, that miraculous little boy who exists because of you and me together. We've got to stay strong and get him through this, until he goes into remission. Cause so help me, he will survive, I'll do everything in my powers to save him. Will you stand strong with me?"
Hermione's eyes stared listlessly at the logo on Harry's shirt. Her eyes slowly traveled from his shirt to his piercing eyes. She nodded and wiped the tears from her husband's eyes to show her bind. He nodded and did the same motion to her.
"Come on," she said. "We better go make sure that Jeremiah and Matthew haven't destroyed the room." Harry smiled weakly and took her hand tightly in his own. They made their way back to Matthew's hospital room, hand in hand.
Back in the room, Matthew was listening wide eyed as Jeremiah told some ravishing story of danger and courage. He appeared to not even notice the IV in his arm; his attention was completely fixed on Jeremiah as he made huge hand motions to demonstrate his story.
"The brake on the wheelchair was broken, so I had to jump out of it before I reached the staircase. I flew headfirst into the wall, and, man, that created a huge bruise. All the doctors came running towards me, but instead of checking to make sure I was okay, they picked me up and took me right back to treatment."
Matthew laughed so hard that Jeremiah couldn't help joining in. They laughed together for quite a while before Matthew realized that Harry and Hermione were in his doorway.
"Hello Mommy, Daddy!"
"Glad to see Jeremiah's keeping you entertained!" Hermione said. She walked across the room and sat on the other side of Matthew's bed. "How are you feeling, sweet?"
Matthew shrugged and leaned back onto his pillow. "Okay, I guess. How much longer do I have to do this?"
Hermione checked her watch. "About another hour. Are you going to be okay?"
"Y-Y-Yeah," Matthew said as a huge yawn erupted from his mouth. "I'm sleepy."
Jeremiah patted Matthew's shoulders. "I'll leave so you can get some sleep. Hope you get rested up."
Matthew nodded as his head lolled. "Bye, Jeremiah."
"See you on Thursday, Matt." He walked casually to the door. "Goodbye, Mr. Powers, Mrs."
Harry shook his hand. "Thank you for coming. And please, call us Harry and Hermione."
Jeremiah nodded. "All right. Goodbye, Harry, Hermione…"
By the time he left, Matthew was already asleep, his small body rested up against the huge pillow on the reclining bed.
***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
That first night in the hospital was not a good night for poor Matthew. He woke up from his sleep at about five p.m. The IV was gone, but he felt very dizzy and nauseous. The world spun around his bed. He wanted to make a dash for the bathroom, but he was to weak to pull back the soft blankets from the bed. He heard his mother's voice saying his name, but it seemed too far away to reach her. For a moment, he thought that he was looking up into a mirror, but then he realized the eyes were greener than his and that it was his father's face, not his that he saw. Matthew tried to sit up slowly, but the world around him spun faster. He tried to open his mouth to cry out, but ended up retching all over his bed. Tired and weak, he collapsed back onto the pillow and closed his eyes, hoping to return to sleep and escape from the awful feeling he felt.
Matthew woke up at least four more times that night, getting dizzy and retching, but as the night went on, his head began to clear, and when he awoke the fifth time, the room didn't spin. He blinked to make sure he wasn't imagining things and saw his father asleep on the armchair, his mother nestled in his lap.
"M-Mommy?" Matthew whispered hoarsely, his voice crackly from dehydration. Hermione heard his little voice and shot up immediately.
"Baby, you're awake!" She came to him and placed her cool hand on his face and kissed his forehead gently. "Oh, baby, are you feeling better than you did last night?"
Matthew nodded. "Did the chemo make me sick?"
Hermione sighed and stroked his hair. "Yes, dear, it did. Dr. Regina and Dr. Powers think they got the dosage too high for someone so little as yourself. The next time you have treatment, the dosage will be lowered a lot, and hopefully you won't get as sick."
"You mean I have to do this again?"
"Yes, baby. I'm afraid you do."
"But I don't wanna! It made me sick!"
"I know, baby, I know! But you've just got to be brave!"
Matthew sighed and leaned into Hermione's breast. "Sometimes I just don't feel like I want to be brave."
Hermione didn't know what to say, so she just rocked him softly in her arms.
A/N: Does anybody know how often you take chemotherapy treatments? Please tell me if you do.
LKB09
-->