Dislcaimer: I do not own:
Harry Potter
Cartel
Or "Honestly"
A/N: Lyrics!!
Please don't mind what I'm trying to say 'cause I'm, I'm being honest
When I tell you that you
You're part of the reason I'm so set on the rest of my life
Being a part of you
You tell me what you think about being open,
About being honest with yourself
'Cause things will never be the same.
So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay
Well don't waste time getting to the point, 'cause I'm, I'm patiently waiting
For your next phone call, your next excuse for losing sleep again
Tell me what you think about being open,
About being honest with yourself
'Cause things will never be the same
So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you to stay
'Cause I can't stop it now
It's so amazing how
I know I can't, I could never walk away
How can we resolve this now
We let it go, and wonder how
This can never be the same
Can never be the same
So I guess I'll see you, I'll see you around
I'm spinning while I'm falling down
Now you know why I'm begging you, I'm begging!
'Cause I can't stop it now,
It's so amazing how,
I know I can't, I could never walk away.
Please don't mind what I'm trying to say, 'cause I'm, I'm being honest.
"Honestly" by Cartel
James stared at her in shock for a few moments before he managed to say, "Uh, hi."
She stood on his doorstep, waiting for him to say something else.
"Oh, uh, come in," James said, regaining some of his composure. He moved to the side and she entered his flat. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Lily followed him and sat down next to him. "What are you doing here?" he asked her. He was surprised she even remembered where he lived. He thought she had forgotten since she hadn't stopped by in at least the past year or so since she left.
"Well," Lily started, "I, uh…I wanted…no. I…" A look of anger appeared on her face, "Oh fuck this." She closed the gap between the two and kissed him.
They only broke the kiss when the need for oxygen reached an alarming rate.
"I've missed you James," Lily said as she moved closer to him. She ran her fingers through his hair as she stared into his eyes.
"I've missed you too, Lil," James replied and kissed her softly on the mouth.
It was heaven. But one question kept burning in James' mind. Why did you leave? He had to ask her. Should I ask her? No, she might leave. But I need to know. Just ask her. Do it.
"Why did you leave?" James finally asked her and held his breath, not knowing how she would react. He prayed she wouldn't up and leave.
Lily inwardly groaned. She knew he would ask her sooner or later. She had just been hoping that it would've been the latter. "The truth?" she asked him. James nodded. "I don't know. I got offered the job and I had to leave the next day, so I left."
"Yeah," James scoffed, "without even saying goodbye. Not even a note or anything. You just disappeared."
"I know," Lily said as she lowered her gaze and clasped her hands together. "I though it'd be easier. I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to have to end it."
"You didn't have to, y'know. It didn't have to be over. I could've done something instead of wondering why I never saw you anymore. Why I couldn't contact you at all, until I found out from Eva that you'd left," James said, not even trying to hide the resentment in his voice.
"James, I am so sorry. I know I should've told you," she said as she found the courage to look into his eyes. He was hurt, and upset with her.
What is this? She just shows up, says she's sorry and expects me to forgive her? She doesn't understand what I went through. She can't imagine the pain she caused me. Hearing her say goodbye would have been better than not knowing. I could've stopped her then. Or followed her. Anything.
"Lily," James said slowly and softly, "I don't think you understand. You can't walk back in as easily as you walked out. It's not fair. We can't just pick up where we left off. And you still have the same job that you left for. How do I know you won't just leave for Siberia or something for a few months? How is this going to work?"
Lily was taken aback for a moment, she didn't know how to respond. James Potter never talked to her like that. The James Potter of fifth, even seventh year would have taken her back right like that, no questions asked. He was hesitant, but confident of himself around her now.
"I know, I know," Lily said, filled with regret at what she'd done. "But I've missed you, James. I need you. I don't care what I'll have to do to make this work. I'll do anything."
James smiled at her and reached for her hand. Lily gave it up willingly. His fingers touched her wrist briefly, and he looked down at it. There was the faintest red line there.
"Lily?" he said softly. "What happened?" James asked as he traced the line on her wrist.
"Oh, nothing," Lily replied quickly as she pulled her arm back. She rubbed her wrist as she looked away from his face.
"It's not nothing, what happened?" he repeated, pulling her wrist back to him and examining it.
"James, don't worry about it. It's old," Lily said as she tried to free her arm from his grasp.
"Lily you have to be honest with me here."
Lily stopped struggling and sighed. "It's just a scratch. Would you please just drop it?" she asked, slightly annoyed with him now.
James nodded and let go of her wrist. He didn't look at her. Instead he focused on the coffee table that suddenly appeared interesting.
Neither of them said anything for a moment.
"I'm sorry James," Lily said as she turned his head towards her with her hand. "I just…I don't want to ruin this.
James didn't reply, but kissed her on her forehead. "Don't do again."
Lily nodded and nestled closer to James and he wrapped his arms around her.
The two stayed like that for a few minutes before Lily asked, "What time is it?"
"Six o'clock," a voice said from the doorway.
"Oh no!" Lily exclaimed as she jumped up from her spot in James' arms. "I'm late."
"Late? Late for what?" James asked as he stood up.
"Meeting Eva. I promised I'd meet her…she's going to kill me…" Lily said as she tucked her hair behind her ears and straightened out her clothing.
"Do you really have to go?" James asked her.
"Yes," Lily responded, kissing him on his cheek.
"Are you sure?" James asked again as he laced his fingers through hers. "You can't stay just a
bit longer, seeing as you're already late?"
Lily smiled at him, "No, sadly, I can't."
"I'll see you tomorrow though?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Well, seeing as I have a job, and you don't, it depends on when I can make it, doesn't it?" Lily teased him.
"S'not fair," James protested. "You promise?"
"Promise," Lily said and kissed him.
"Goodbye James," Lily said. "Bye Sirius," she said to the figure in the doorway.
"'Bye Lily," Sirius replied. "Say 'hello' to Eva for me."
Lily nodded and disappeared with a small pop.
James grinned and plopped back onto the sofa.
"So," Sirius said casually as he made his way to the sofa and sat down next to James, "you two looked…cozy."
"Yeah."
"Well?" Sirius prompted.
"Well what?" James asked, acting as if he had no clue what Sirius was talking about.
"What's going on with you and Lily?" Sirius asked him.
James shrugged, but his grin grew even wider.
"So it's back on is it?" Sirius asked him.
James nodded happily.
"That's good. And things won't be the same as before this time?"
"No," James answered with a determined look in his eye, "it will be different."
Sirius nodded his head. "I hope so."
Me too.
A/N: Thanks to my sister for making me download this song. And thanks to my boredom which led me to listen to this song.
Beta out, lyrics in. Got it? Good. ;)
This Saturday I am off to a leadership camp (yes, laugh if you must. I still hold my head high!) held by the Pennsylvania Association of Student Councils. And I won't be back until Thursday, so prolly no update until Friday. Sorry guys. But I will be living with no air conditioning, so pray for me!
Reviews make me very very very happy! =]
(And just to satisfy my curiosity, where are you guys all from?)