Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Forever a Secret (14/?)
Author name: LittleWitch
Author email: littlewitch_br@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Keywords: Harry Potter Hermione Granger H/Hr
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP
Summary: The Wizarding World was a mysterious place -- full of secrets. Three years after the fall of the Dark Lord, darkness was still spreading over. A secret was held. A secret that was killing their souls. But they had to pay the price -- or else the rest of the world would. No matter what, it had to be forever a secret.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The lyrics used in this chapter are from the song "My Last Breath" by Evanescence.

Author notes: For all of you who have reviewed last chapter…THANKS…I finally figured out that there's a new way to answer your reviews so if you go to the review page you can read my feedbacks. Now that I'm aware of that new system, I'll try to answer your reviews as I receive them.

Thanks to Anne for another beta miracle...

Chapter 14: Remembering - Part IV

"What moves me so deeply, about this little prince who is sleeping here, is his loyalty to a flower--the image of a rose that shines through his whole being like the flame of a lamp, even when he is asleep . . ."

--TheLittle Prince

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She was sitting beside the lake, her back against a tree trunk. Her legs were outstretched with a book upon her lap. She had been there for hours. Her attention completely focused on her reading…until she heard someone calling her name.

"Hermione!"

She looked up. On the other side of the lake, Neville Longbottom and Lavender Brown were waving, jumping around and screaming furiously at her. They obviously wanted her attention. And Hermione's mind soon comprehended what the fuss was about. Her desperate hope was reinforced when she heard Lavender's voice, "He's awake!"

Hermione's eyes widened and reflected a million different emotions flashing through her mind as she stood quickly and left her book lying forgotten on the grass. For a moment she felt lost -- like she had no idea of what to do or where to go.

But then she ran. She ran as fast as she could. She passed her two Gryffindors' housemates without a word, and kept running. She crossed the Hogwarts' grounds. And she kept running. She made her way inside the castle. And she kept running. Corridor after corridor. And she kept running. Finally, she reached her destiny; the Hospital wing.

But she still ran down the rows of cots. And then, a red sea parted for her so she could be with him. (which really meant that the mass of Weasleys gathered around his bed moved aside to let her pass, without question or ceremony.)

And she finally stopped running, throwing herself on his bed. Throwing herself in his arms.

It was the time for her tears to run - they ran down on her face in a continuous stream. So she cried. And cried. And she was still crying when all the others silently decided to give them some space and left the room.

"So, I guess this means that you really missed me, huh?" he asked, attempting to make his tone one of cheery wit, but she could sense in his voice how weak and shaky he was still.

She broke the hug, so she could see his face. "You stupid prick", she said sobbing even harder, "What the hell were you thinking? Why did you do that? We almost lost you."

"I ," he stopped for a moment like he was in pain. He was still a bit bruised; after all he almost died. He almost died for her. "I couldn't risk losing you."

"Ah…You are one of the most stupid,, and bravest, person that I know, Ronald Weasley," she said, hugging him again. Ron hugged her back, tightly. She let her head fall on his shoulder, her tears wetting the hospital robes he was wearing. "Just promise me you will never do something like that again," she whispered.

Ron pulled back and looked into her eyes. "You want me to promise to you that I won't protect you…that I won't save you? I can't do that. You know I will always be there for you, no matter what."

Hermione bit her lower lip. How could she answer to words like those? The truth was that despity how beautiful that his gesture had been, she couldn't stop thinking how she would feel if he really had died for her. It was a burden that she didn't feel she would be able to carry; knowing that he had risked and lost everything for her. She really hated that bravery in both him and Harry; the awful concept that the two boy had in their minds; that they would sacrifice everything for her, even die for her. What did that leave her? Was life worth living - without them? Couldn't they understand that dying for her would kill her anyway? They were the best part of her, and that would die with them. The truth was that Hermione would also risk everything for them. She would die in their place without hesitation. Again, the truth was that sacrificing yourself was actually more easy than living with the pain of your friends' absence…although that thought would never cross their minds on the moment they had to step in front of their friends…all that they would be thinking, all she would be thinking, was that she had to protect them. And that was what Ron had done, that was what he said he was always going to do.Even if she couldn't accept that sacrifice. Even knowing that telling him not to do it; that she did not want him to do so, would not stop him, she realized. She would rather die than have him killed in her place, but she had to appreciate his gesture, his kind words and his friendship.

"Thank you, Ron. Thank you for everything," she whispered, hugging him a little harder and cried.

After a considerable time like that, Ron broke the silence, "So, where is our hero? Don't tell me he's celebrating without me? Blimey, I still can't believe that He Who-- ah, what the hell - Voldemort is gone."

At the mention of the name Hermione winced. Her heart started beating fast and she had to fight the urge to scream.

Realizing Hermione was shaking in his arms Ron stared at her, his confusion expressed on his face. "'Mione, love, what happened? Why are you…"

"You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what? We won the war, didn't we? It's over. My parents told me that Harry --"

"I thought…maybe… you were unconscious when it happened…I thought that maybe you could remember like me, Sirius and the others…"

There was something on her eyes and in her voice that frightened Ron. Why was she crying like this? Had his parents lied to him? Could it be that they didn't have the courage to tell him the truth…that their victory had a price?

"Hermione, where is Harry?" he asked with sudden urgency.

"I'm here."

Ron sighed relieved. His best friend, Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding World stood at the other side of his bed. "Harry!" Ron yelled excitedly, throwing his arms around his friends' neck and bringing him down in a clumsy attempt of a hug. "I knew you could do it, mate. I've never doubted, not even - okay, so I did doubt a little but deep down I've always known that you would win and… Oh, tell me. You got to tell me all the details…How was it? What kind of curse you used? Did he just crumble into dust or is there a body lying somewhere? How was it…?"

Harry smiled at his friend's animation. He could really understand the source of Ron's excitement. It wasn't everyday that your friend vanquishes the source of all evil but still… he had no intention of answering Ron's questions, at least not now, at the moment he was just glad his friend was finally awake and well.

That was it. If someone would tell his story, Harry thought that would be the perfect ending. The Dark Lord was gone and both of his friends were fine…Happiness…Harry had never been so happy in all -

He looked over Ron's shoulder and his eyes met Hermione's. There was so much pain in her eyes…so many emotions hidden there. It made him feel hollow and small. The happiness he was feeling felt so fake all of sudden like something was wrong. Something was missing. His head hurt.

"I have to go," Hermione said abruptly, jumping off the bed and fleeing the room as if on fire or something similar.

And when the eye contact was broken, his head ceased hurting. It was all bliss again.

"But - Hermione!!" Ron protested, not understanding his friend's sudden need to depart.

Hearing Ron's distress, she stopped at the doorframe and turned back. "Don't worry. I've just remembered I have some stuff to do. I'm sure Harry will be more than happy to fill you in all that's been happening around here. I'll be back later, I promise."

"No, wait!" But Ron's protest was wasted.. She had already left the room. Ron stared at the empty space Hermione had been, then he turned to his other friend. "What's wrong with her?"

Harry sighed. "I don't know," he said sadly. "She's been avoiding me ever since --" Harry gulped. "I think she blames me."

"Blame you? For what?"

"For what happened with you."

"Why would Hermione blame you for this, Harry? It was not your fault. It was my choice. I knew perfectly well what I was doing when I threw myself in front of her."

"Yeah, but if I had been strong enough to stop Voldemort earlier, he would never had the chance to throw that curse at her and you wouldn't have to --"

"Okay. Stop right there, mate. Hermione would never blame you over that. That's not like her. I mean, it seems that if someone is blaming you for any of this, that someone is yourself. And that's really stupid, Harry, even for you and your usual guilty complex. Besides, who cares about that now? I'm fine - a little bruised, but fine. And Voldemort is gone and you, Hermione and I deserve one hell of a celebration party. With lots and lots of delicious food. Man, it's been a week since my last meal. I'm starving."

Ron smiled brightly at Harry, but Harry couldn't smile back at him. He wore a somber face. A week. It's been a week since he defeated the Dark Lord. Somehow it seemed so surreal. There was no celebration. At least, not on his part.

Somehow, something didn't feel right.

The first thing he remembered had been waking himself on a bed into the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was there as was Dumbledore, Snape and Sirius, and in the corner McGonagall was consoling a sobbing Hermione. He tried to talk, tried to get up, to reach her, to ask her to stop crying…But he felt like all his energy was gone. All he had managed was a murmur…but that was enough to call their attention to the fact that he was awake.

He remembered Hermione immediately trying to reach him, trying to be at his side…and Dumbledore pushing her away. And she cried and screamed his name. He was so weak. He remembered Professor Snape dragging her out of the hospital wing. And then he fell into darkness again.

Hours later, when he woke up again, he was feeling much better…stronger. But there was no one there that time. He got up, his vision so blurred. He found his glasses at the bedside and put them on. He could not believe what he saw then. In the bed besides him was lying Ron…lots of crystals were floating around his body, emanating a faint red aura…And he knew. He knew his friend was dying.

So he ran. Ran to find help. Where was Madam Pomfrey? Where was everybody? Why wasn't they helping Ron? Why wasn't they doing something to help his friend?

Before he realized it, he was in the Great Hall. Everybody was there and all their eyes were on him. They were all quiet as he yelled at them, pleading with them to help Ron. It was Mrs. Weasley that stopped his yells by hugging Harry like only a mother could and telling him that there was nothing more they could do. Just hope. Just hope her ickle Ronniekins was strong enough to overcome his injuries.

From where he stood with Mrs. Weasley hugging him, Harry saw her. Hermione. She was at the entrance of the Great Hall, her face red and her eyes puffy.

Harry released Mrs. Weasley and made his way to Hermione but she stepped back, then ran away from him, letting him at a loss in front of the whole school.

"Oh, Harry… try to understand, this has been too hard on her…almost losing hers two best friends…and Ron, he took the curse meant for her…she needs some time, darling. Just give her some time," Mrs. Weasley had said then.

As the seconds, minutes and days passed, Harry lived in complete numbness. All classes were suspended. As the world outside was shining and singing as every living wizard celebrated The Dark Lord's Final Defeat, Hogwarts' castle remained silent.

On the third day, Ron was miraculously restored. It really felt like a new life had started for his friend. No one knew how it happened. Ron's treatment was very complicated and any spark of magic could be fatal for him, therefore visits were not allowed. No one other than Miss Pomfrey was allowed to the Hospital Wing - not even the Headmaster.

Again, no one knew what happened. Not even Madam Pomfrey. She went to the Hospital Wing to check on his crystals and give him his hourly potion when she had the biggest surprise of her life. The crystals were fractured into pieces and the boy's aura was shining brighter than ever.

Another thing that surprised not only Madam Pomfrey but entire population of Hogwarts was that at the foot of the Weasley boy's bed, Madam Pomfrey had found Miss Granger's cat. The cat had been sleeping but Poppy could almost swear the cat had been watching over the boy. No one knew how the cat got there in the first place or why it was there considering that everybody knew that the two never got along very well.

Well, the important thing was that Ron would live, but his body was too weak…so they would have to wait some more days until the boy was strong enough to wake on his own.

Days of waiting passed by, then it stretched to a week.

"That cat was here? No wonder I came back from the dead. I couldn't stand even one more minute with that thing by my side," exclaimed Ron as Harry was telling him last week events.

"We are still trying to figure out what he was doing here. It's really a mystery."

"Probably came here to make sure I was dead and he could live happily ever after with his owner all by himself."

This time, Harry smiled at his friend. Only Ron could think of something like that.

"Now about Hermione…" Ron began.

"What about her?" Harry questioned his friend.

"I think my mother was right, Harry. I think it was a bit too much to her."

"You mean what happened to you?"

"Yes, I mean, not only this. Everything. Let's face it. Hermione had always been the strongest of us. I mean not magically because there's no one who can beat you on that but…" Ron trailed off as he looked at his friend.

"Yes, I know what you mean. She has always been our strength. Always there for us."

"Exactly. Now imagine what Hermione must have felt when she almost lost both us and there's nothing she could do about it. Nothing in any book that could help us. She must have felt like she failed us. That's probably why she is avoiding you...us."

"Do you think she blames herself for what happened to you?"

"No, just before you arrived she called me a stupid prick. I know that deep down she understands there was no alternative for what I did. But she did ask me to never do something like that again. Can you believe her? Like I wouldn't protect the woman I love. Come on, Harry, wouldn't you sacrifice everything for the woman you love?"

Harry stared at his friend for what felt like an eternity before answering, "Yes, I would."

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SEVERAL DAYS LATER…

The Advanced Transfiguration class had just finished. All the students collected their books, and bags, departing the classroom and heading to their following classes.

"Miss Granger, may I speak with you for a moment, please?" McGonagall's voice echoed though the room.

Ron and Harry, who were already at the door, stopped as they heard their friends' name called, almost stopping the traffic at the door.

"Certainly, Professor," Hermione replied, stopping before her teachers' desk. "Is there something wrong with my essay?"

Harry and Ron looked at each other; they were trying to hear what their teacher was saying to their friend, but the noise of the mass of the students made that an impossible task.

McGonagall smiled sadly at her pupil. "Your essay is perfect as always. What I --" the teacher paused, turning her head to the door. "Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter, is there something I can do for you?"

"Er…I…we…" The boys didn't know what to say. They were just worried about their friend. They missed her, since she now avoided them at all times.

Hermione glanced at them, and then quickly averted her eyes.

Harry sighed. "Sorry, Professor. We were just leaving," he said, dragging Ron out with him.

Minerva McGonagall frowned, she stared back at Hermione, who kept her eyes down, her face partially hidden by her dense hair. "Don't do this, Hermione."

"I beg you pardon?"

"I know what you are doing. You've been avoiding them, pushing them away…"

"Listen, Professor, if this is what you wanted to talk about I'm afraid I --"

But Minerva cut her off. The girl needed to hear what she had to say. "Don't do it. You will only end up hurting them and yourself."

Hermione sighed, whispering. "You say that like I have a choice. You know I don't. Dumbledore didn't give me one. None of you did. I don't know what is the problem here, Professor. I'm giving what you all want. Soon, school will be over and I'll never see them again. So, if you excuse me," Hermione turned to leave.

"I know what is like to love and can't be loved in return."

Hermione froze at her teacher's words. She turned again, looking up at McGonagall.

"I know how it hurts, everyday. I know how it feels…this agony inside…this scream caught in the throat… this abysm that separates us from what we want…that shatters our dreams in pieces…That void that eats us alive…It's hell on earth. But I'm still here. I will always be here at his side."

"Professor…" Hermione gasped.

Minerva took away her glasses, rubbing her tears away.

"I'm sorry...I - What I wanted to tell you is that you do have a choice. They need you, Hermione. He needs you. He misses his friend."

"I can't. I couldn't live a lie."

"Your friendship had never been a lie. Just think about it, Hermione. Are you sure this is what you want? Don't listen to Albus. Listen to your heart. I know Albus has his reasons but there are things, Hermione, that only a woman who loves can see… I love, Hermione. And that's why I'm here. That's my choice. I'd rather be with him in this way, than not have him in my life at all…Are you sure you want to throw away the most beautiful thing of your life? This will destroy you, Hermione. It already is doing so. You need their friendship as much as they need yours. And if you say no to that, you won't be able to accuse any Spell, it will have been entirely your own choice. Could you live with that? Can you leave them behind?"

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HOURS LATER…

QUIDDITCH PITCH…

The Gryffindor Quidditch Team was practicing. Ron had already spent half an hour in the Locker room with the team as he showed some new moves and strategies for the team to try and now they were finally at the pitch to put all that into action…

Harry saw the snitch. He was diving after it when he suddenly stopped short. The snitch zoomed away and behind the stands.

Ron blew his whistle. "STOP! STOP!" He yelled, catching one last Quaffle that came in his direction. The Chasers and Beaters halted and milled about mid-field. "HARRY!" Ron flew to his side. "What do you think you are doing? Even I saw that snitch. You've been like that for days. The final game is coming up and you better start catching that thing or I'll put Ginny in your position!"

But Harry wasn't listening to him, just staring down at the stands. Ron followed his gaze and gasped.

For standing there and watching them was Hermione. She smiled. A weak and some what out of place smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Practice is over," Ron announced.

"What?"

"But Ron…"

The rest of the team tried to argue but their captain was already heading to the stands, and so was Harry.

"Hi," said Ron as he landed on the stand.

"Hi," she replied, her voice failing. She cleared her throat. "Hi," she repeated, this time in her normal tone of voice.

Harry just nodded staring at her as she continued. "You needn't have stopped the practice…I was just watching. I --"

"Oh, it's just Quidditch, you know…Nothing really important."

Hermione smiled at Ron's highly unusual comment…It was sweet of him and - Hermione sighed. She just wished Harry wouldn't stare at her like that. Like he was trying to read her mind.

"So…" Ron started but stopped awkwardly when he realized he didn't know what to say.

"So…" Hermione repeated; she knew exactly what she was here to say but found the right words eluding her as they stared at one another.

After a moment of an uncomfortable silence, the three started to speak simultaneously and no one could understand what anyone else was saying. They stopped and waited a moment, expecting someone to go first, but as the silence stretched, the humor of the situation hit them, and they began to laugh.

And when the laughter subsided, Hermione had tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Harry opened his mouth to say that she didn't have a reason to be sorry that they understood her reasons that -

Hermione stopped him before he spoke. "No. Let me finish. I need to say - Our friendship means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to us, too, Hermione," said Harry. Ron nodded in agreement.

"I know. And that's why I'm sorry. I was so caught up in my own misery that I forgot how important this friendship is…It's…I lost - I mean, I -- I don't want to lose it, too."

Harry took her hand. "You are never going to lose it, Hermione. We are here. We'll always be here for you."

Sobbing, she collapsed into his arms. "I will always be here, too, Harry. Always."

"Hey! What about me? Don't I get a hug?"

Harry and Hermione smiled at each other. "Of course, you do, Ron. The biggest of the hugs."

And as the trio hugged ,laughed, talked, they became comfortable with each other once more. As the three of them headed to the kitchens to have some pumpkin pie, Hermione was sure she could cope. She could be only his friend. She had been his friend for most of her life…Of course she could be only his friend…forever.

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DAYS LATER…

She couldn't. It hurt too much. Everything reminded her of her broken dreams…She couldn't just stay there listening to -

They had made so many plans. She had bought a beautiful dress. She had taught him how to dance…

And now he was going with -- And Ron wouldn't stop asking her and …and she couldn't live like that…It was just too painful…to be with him and not be able to hold him…or kiss him…and Ron - God, how could she deal with that…

She couldn't. She just couldn't.

She opened the giant oak door…It was raining.

It was a heavy spring storm, lashing the grounds and the Castle with wind and cold rain.

But she didn't mind it. She couldn't mind the fall of the rain when tears were raining down her cheeks. She didn't even mind to put on a rainproof charm on herself. No, she didn't need a shelter from the rain, she needed a shelter from all the pain that was consuming her. Within her another storm was rolling through her soul.

She started to run then, and with her every step Hogwarts Castle became smaller behind her. She stopped after a time and her right hand gripped the rough bark of a tree for support. Soaked to the skin, Hermione looked around her. She was far inside the woods, probably in the middle of the Forbidden Forest. She didn't know for certain, and she didn't care. She just wanted to stay away from there, away from them, away from herself.

[…]

"I need the ring, Hermione."

And now it was Hermione's turn to give him a smile. The most painful smile that Sirius had ever seen.

She reached out for the chain around her neck, and extracted the delicate chain from inside her robes.

The chain carried a ring.

And just a ring.

Hermione looked down at the chain, and at the ring. Just a ring. The ring.

"He asked me to keep it, till he..." Hermione bit her lip as more unwanted tears fell down. "At the time I thought it was so romantic..." She looked closely at the ring and frowned. "Now I see how stupid we were... STUPID HIM!" she yelled angrily as her hands encircled the ring tightly and she pulled at it violently, breaking the chain. She gave the ring one last look and sighed. She took Sirius' hand and placed the broken chain and the ring in his palm. "Now he will never have the chance to put it on my finger."

"Hermione..." Sirius choked.

Hermione shook her head. "No, Sirius, I'm telling you. We were stupid. We should have lived the moment. We should have lived what we could, while we could...But we didn't. And you know why we didn't? And here is the interesting thing, really. WE HAD HOPE. Yes, we had hope that we would have other moments...Forever, we hoped...You know, Sirius, hope is an illusion created by human beings...something that we need to carry on...We need to believe that in the end there's always hope...In the end we need to hope for something...Do you understand what I'm saying, Sirius? This," she said, pointing to the ring in his hand, "little thing...it became the symbol of our hope...we would fight till the end and we would win...because of this...of this forever...WE WERE SO STUPID. The moment was gone. Our hope was gone. And our forever became forever a secret..."

"Don't do this to yourself, Hermione. Don't do this to Harry. You can't lose hope like this. Harry still remembers you...."

"Harry only remembers his best friend."

And she couldn't be his friend. She thought she could but… She needed him… All of him…

[…]

'Can't you see, Hermione, that my godson is still fighting for you?'

'I will remember you, Hermione. I will remember.'

That was it. She couldn't. She couldn't be only his friend. She wouldn't accept that. Something went wrong with the spell. Somehow Harry was fighting against it. He was still fighting for her. For them. And if he still could fight, so could she. She would not let go of her memories…

And with her tears, came her answer. "No, I couldn't. I will not forget. These memories are my reason…are all that I have of him now. These memories are my HOPE. I understand that now, Sirius, thank you."

She understood fully now. It didn't matter if she had lost him , she would still have her memories, she would still have the memory of his kisses, his touch, the look of love sparkling in his eyes… If they wanted the ring back then they could have it. She would find a way. Even if she had to read all the books ever written, learn all the languages never spoken and mix all the potions never brewed before…She would find a way to break the spell without all hell breaking lose together with it. She would find a way to have him back…to have their hopes, their dreams, their forever back…

"Someday, Sirius. Someday, he will give that ring back to me. And this time, he will put it on my finger."

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THEIR LAST NIGHT AT HOGWARTS…

HOGWARTS' LIBRARY

"Hey."

She went goose-pimply all over. Her quill dropped from her nerveless fingers. She looked up at him.

"Hey." It was all she could say. All she dared to say. She glanced down at her parchment and at the stacks of books around her. She plucked up the quill and resumed writing notes, focusing on the work ahead, looking for comfort or something to distract her from the aching.

He placed his hand over hers. Once more the quill stopped and he took it from her hand as she looked up at him again.

He was so elegant in a black tuxedo. She noticed that he had done something to his hair, it was tamer than usual. He seemed different. However, his scar and his traditional pair of glasses were as familiar as ever.

He put her quill down and sat beside her.

"Why?" he asked softly. "It's our last night at Hogwarts, Hermione. It's our last chance to --"

"I won't go, Harry. I've already told you. I don't want to."

"You can't spend your last night at Hogwarts in the library…alone. You've already taken the N.E.W.T.s. There are no more classes. What are you studying for?"

"Just because school is over, it doesn't mean that I no longer need to study. Apprenticeship is a process that never ends. If I want a better life, I need to study. To get what I want, I need to learn a lot more."

"But can't all this study wait, just for one night?"

She didn't answer.

Harry sighed, holding both her hands in his and squeezing them gently. "You know, sometimes I really worry about you."

She looked down at their entangled hands. "Good. Because I worry about you all the time."

Harry made her look at him. "Tell me the truth," he whispered, staring into her eyes.

"Wh - what truth?" She staggered.

"The truth why you don't want to go to the ball. And I want the real version this time. It's not about Ron, is it? You and I both know Ron didn't mean any of those awful things he said. He is just upset. He really wanted you to go with him."

"Believe me, this has nothing to do with Ron."

"So, is it Krum?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Krum. Did he dump you?"

"Of course not. Where do you get these ideas? Oh, just forget it. I know very well who you get these ideas from: Ron. How many times do I have to tell him and you that Victor and I are just friends?"

"But you always write to him."

"That doesn't mean we're lovers. We are just quill-pals."

"So you didn't invite him to the ball?"

"I don't think his girlfriend would like it if I did."

"He has a girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Oh…okay, so if it's not Krum, then who is it?"

"What?"

"There must be somebody else."

"What makes you assume there's somebody else, Harry?"

"There's always somebody else. So, do I know him?"

Hermione stared at him and then shook her head. "I'm not having this conversation with you."

She opened a book. Harry closed it in her face.

"Don't do this, Harry," she asked, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Don't do what? I want to understand why my best friend would rather spend her last night at our school alone then having fun with all of her friends? Whoever this guy is I'm sure he is not worth it, if he didn't invite you to the ball it's his loss. What I can't --"

"He did invite me."

Harry paused. He looked at her. "He did? So why --"

"Things changed. He's going with somebody else now," she whispered. Her eyes remained focused on her notes, avoiding Harry's gaze at all costs. She nervously fingered through some of the books as he watched.

"I don't understand."

"You are not supposed to understand…Just leave me alone, Harry. Your date must be waiting for you."

"She can wait," he said staring at Hermione, confused thoughts racing through his mind. "Actually, I'm not going to the ball anymore."

"What?" Hermione looked up at him, shocked.

"That's it. If you're not going, I'm not going," he said, crossing his arms and leaning back on his chair.

"Don't be ridiculous, Harry."

"I'm not being ridiculous, you are. Just because a stupid bloke dumped you --"

"Hey! I was not dumped."

"Oops, wrong choice of word. I'm sorry. So, this stupid bloke, who clearly doesn't deserve you, because what kind of guy would chose another girl when they have someone as wonderful as you…"

"Harry, stop. You have no idea what you are talking about. You --"

"No, Hermione, you need to see that this is not the end of the world."

"Oh, believe me, I know it's not the end of the world."

"Exactly, so why are you moping around because of this jerk?"

"Harry…"

"No. I don't want to hear any more of this," he said, getting up. "Come on, Hermione. It will be no fun if you aren't there. You have to come to the ball." He pulled her up. "All our friends will be there. I'm sure Ron will want to apologize to you and there will be plenty of pumpkin juice and - and we can dance."

Hermione froze, staring at him, looking for something, some kind of sign. "D--Do you still remember how to dance?"

"Do I remember how -- Yeah, right. Very funny, Hermione. You know that I hate dancing and that I suck at it but, well, it's a ball, some sacrifices are required. And if the girls don't mind having all their toes crushed for just tonight, I won't be denying them." He grinned.

"Of course…" Hermione fell back into her seat, grim faced.

Harry sighed, his grin disappearing as he knelt before her. "Oh, Hermione… I hate to see you like this. Tell you what, give me his name and I'll beat the hell out of him for you…Or I can Apparate him to Alaska or to a desert island full of giants…What do you think of sending him to Dracula's castle?"

Hermione smiled at him.

"Wow, is that a smile that I see at last, Miss Granger?"

"HARRY." A third voice echoed in the library. Both Hermione and Harry turned their heads and stared at the exuberant girl who stood only a few steps away from them.

"The ball has started. Everybody is there already!"

Hermione bit her lower lip as she watched Harry's face. He was so close to her and at the same time so distant.

"You should go," she said.

Harry looked up at her. "Only if you promise me you will be there…Please, Hermione. For me."

She took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll go change and then I'll meet you guys there."

Harry wore a smile from ear to ear. He leaned in, kissing her on the cheek. "I'll save you a dance."

He stood up and rushed to the side of his date, taking her arm and disappearing through the door.

Hermione closed her eyes, her hand going to her cheek as a couple of lonely tears ran over and through her fingers. "I know you will," she whispered to no one.

She rubbed away her tears with the back of her hand and began collecting her books.

"I wouldn't do this if I were you, Miss Granger."

Hermione clenched her fists at his voice. "Stay away from me," she said coldly.

"Dancing is not a good idea, nor is moving in with him. You have to understand that it's over. This proximity will only bring you pain, nothing else."

She ignored his words as she finished collecting her books and turned to leave.

Dumbledore grabbed her by the arm.

She spun around, dropping her books as she drew her wand. The tip of it met the Headmaster's neck.

She gave him a fierce glare.

"We need to talk," his voice was flat and serene, his features showed no seeming concern about her threating wand.

"You are a sick man; a traitor and a manipulative bastard. You are the scum of the mankind," she spat with hatred. "We have nothing else to talk about."

She struggled and freed her arm, pushing him away. "Stay away from me," she repeated, emphasizing each word. She picked up her books from the floor and was about to walk away from him again when she heard his response.

"I want the rose."

She froze. And she laughed. A dry, humorless laugh.

"Of course. I should have seen this coming. Of course you would know about the rose too. I'm not even going to waste my time asking how." Once more she turned, facing him. "It doesn't matter how anyway. What really matters is why? Why, Professor? Honestly, haven't you taken enough from me? What difference can a simple rose make?"

"Truth can be found everywhere."

Hermione stood there silently staring at him, pondering his words until she sighed deeply and shook her head "I gave you back the ring, and in doing so, I broke a promise. The promise I made to him of always keeping it. I did that because the ring was a family heirloom, something that he might miss. What would I tell him if he saw me with the ring? The consequences, the side effects of the spell, whatever must come of this situation... I'm still not ready to deal with it... But don't fool yourself, Dumbledore. As soon as I'm ready, as soon as I found a way out of this trap you put us into, I will claim my ring back." She paused, looking carefully at him. "Now, tell me Dumbledore, why would I give you a rose that he doesn't even remember giving to me in the first place?"

Dumbledore stayed quiet. He had never offered her a reason and she had never needed one.

"You can't have it," she said. "I won't break another promise."

Dumbledore frowned. "I will have it, one way or another."

He Disapparated from in front of her. Surprised, Hermione blinked, scanning the area around her. He was no long in the library, that was for sure. Then her eyes went wide, he was no longer there but she knew exactly where he went.

Dropping her books again, she rushed to the Head Girl quarters and her bedroom.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

She was almost at the door when she heard a loud crash and her cat hissing...she quickly spoke the password and entered her room.

There was no sign of Dumbledore himself, but the signs that he had been there were all too clear; the pieces of a broken vase lay scattered on the floor.

Her heart felt crushed. There was no sign of the rose.

MEOW...

She spun around, looking for her cat.

"Crookshanks?! Crookshanks, where are you?"

MEOW

She collapsed on her knees at the foot of her bed, tears streaming down her face.

"Crookshanks, what happened? Did he hurt you? I swear if he touched you I'll hex him into --"

MEOW

From the shadows under her bed came her beloved Crookshanks, and between his teeth was the rose.

The cat placed the rose on her lap.

"Ah, Crookshanks…" She leaned in, embracing her cat gently and placing a kiss behind his ear.

She took the rose in her hand and stood up to sit on the edge of her bed, contemplating the rainbow rose Harry had given to her only a short time ago.

She brought it closer to her nose. It still smelled like it always did...her favorite scent, a mixture of Harry, rain, roses, and herself.

It was the scent of their love...

She sobbed.

A tear fell down on a petal. A faint energy emanated from the rose…

"Oh, Harry…What have we done?"

She held the rose tightly as she lay down, crying her heart out.

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Meanwhile…

Ron was dancing with his date for the evening, Lavender Brown. Only, he didn't look like he was enjoying himself that much. He kept scanning the room, looking for something, or rather, someone.

When the dance was finished, Lavender headed back to their table as Ron excused himself, saying he was going to get them both some drinks.

"She's not coming, Harry."

Harry laughed at his friend's anxiety. "She said she would be here, Ron. Don't worry. She is probably doing something with her hair," replied Harry as he served himself some more pumpkin juice.

"I don't know, Harry. What if she changed her mind? What if she's still mad at me?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "She's always mad at you."

The red-haired boy glared at his black-haired friend. "It's not funny, Harry".

Harry chuckled. "Ron, just relax, okay. Hermione --"

"Harry, come on. They are playing our song."

"Huh?" Harry looked strangely at his date. "We have a song? Since when?"

"Since now. Come on," she said as she dragged him to the dancing floor.

As they danced from one side to the other, Harry couldn't help but think about Hermione. He had laughed at Ron's concern, but the truth was that he too was worried about their friend. He kept glancing toward the entrance, waiting for her to appear there at any moment…

She said she would come. He was saving a dance for her.

But deep down, deep down, a voice was telling him she would not come…that she was lonely…that she was sad and she needed him…

But he couldn't respond to that voice. He could feel, in the pit of his stomach, a strange sensation. That strange feeling that something was wrong…something was missing.

And as he danced, as all of them danced, laughed and celebrated their last night in Hogwarts, no one noticed the specter of a little boy come out of Harry. No one felt the presence of the ghostly child as the boy passed their bodies. No one observed the nearly transparent figure cross the hall and head up the stairs until he finally walked through the door that lead to Hermione's room.

The little boy sat down on the bed beside her.

Crookshanks stared intensely at his ghostly figure. Emerald eyes returned the cat's gaze. He put his finger over his lips as a sign for the pet to stay quiet.

The cat withdrew, going to the corner as the little boy brushed her hair back from her face and place a soft kiss on her forehead.

Hermione shivered, crying even harder.

The boy grimaced and laid down beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders and held her until she fell asleep.

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PRESENT…

It was all there. All coming back to him…

Hold on to me love

You know I can't stay long

All I wanted to say was

I love you and I'm not afraid

Can you hear me?

Can you feel me in your arms

All that they had been through together when he didn't remember…

Holding my last breath?

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you

Sweet rapture and life,

It ends here tonight.

The three of them moving in together…Dumbledore leaving the Order in his care…Ron becoming a professional Quidditch player…Him becoming a teacher…Hermione surrounded by books…The birthdays they celebrated together… Ron proposing to Hermione at the Quidditch Final … Hermione giving him an autographed copy of her book… His daily fights against evil…Ron dragging him on countless blind dates…Hermione and Dobby delivering their final speech to the Wizardry Council. The unanimous voting. The beginning of a new life for elves…his saving the World….Hermione surrounded by even more books…Ron giving Hermione an engagement ring as a Christmas present… …Hermione helping him dress for his first date with Ginny… His first break up with Ginny…His need to see Hermione before every mortal combat… Her hugging him and telling him to be careful…His saving the world again…Ron and Hermione fighting…Hermione talking with Snape and Sirius…Snape preparing a potion… Hermione still surrounded by books, always falling asleep on the sofa…

I'll miss the winter

A world of fragile things

Look for me in the white forest

Hiding in a hollow tree

I know you hear me,

I can taste it in your tears.

All those events now seen with a new perspective…the perspective of someone who knew the answer…And God how that hurt…

Holding my last breath

Safe inside myself

Are all my thoughts of you.

Sweet rapture and life,

It ends here tonight.

And after the collection of past scenes, more recent events flashed into his mind…

Closing your eyes

You pray your dreams will leave you here,

But still you wake and know the truth -

No one's there

His final break up with Ginny…Hermione's taking his invisibility cloak… Her encounter with Draco Malfoy in Knockturn Alley …Ron and Hermione playing chess… That end of afternoon at the lake. His outburst in the cemetery…Sirius embracing Hermione… Dumbledore talking to McGonagall…Draco talking with an invisible Wormtail…Neville dancing with Hermione…Trelawney reciting a prophecy….Charlie fighting against Norbert…Percy and Arthur Weasley running through the corridors of the Ministry… Sirius leaving Hogwarts on Buckbeak's back… His last talk with Hermione…Dobby leading the elves on the march to the Nadir Gates, Winky at his side carrying their son…Dumbledore destroying the rose…Snape and Draco's despair at the illusion of the train Hermione was in exploding… Fred and George surrounded by Vampires in the light of day… Snape and Draco grabbing Ginny…He and Ron staring into the Mirror of Erised in the Room of Requirement… Hermione talking with her mother…The attack of the Dragons… Nagini… Meeting Luna…The look in Hermione's father's eyes…Neville… The Turtle Guardian breaking his glasses…the little box in the palm of his hand…THE RING.

Say goodnight, don't be afraid

Calling me, holding me, as you fade to black

Harry opened his eyes.

He was surrounded by darkness.

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Author notes: First, sorry for the long delay…Second, Yeah, I know…You don't need to yell…I know this chapter is not what most of you have been expecting but -- Hope you have enjoyed…This was the last chapter of the 'Remembering Series' and in the next one (which have already been written) you will finally read the so expected HarryXDumbledore…

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