Unofficial Portkey Archive

Title: Forever a Secret (20/?)
Author name: LittleWitch
Author email: littlewitch_br@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP, HBP(??)
Summary: The Wizarding World was a mysterious place -- full of secrets. Three years after the fall of the Dark Lord, darkness was still spreading over. A secret was held. A secret that was killing their souls. But they had to pay the price -- or else the rest of the world would. No matter what, it had to be forever a secret.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The lyrics used in this chapter are from the songs "I'm Kissing You" performed by Des'ree, "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams, "I Grive" by Peter Gabriel, "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes" by Kimberly Locke and "Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls.

WARNING: I changed "Spoilers" from "Books 1-5" to "Book 6 Spoilers!" mostly because of what you guys will find in one of the final scenes of this fic. I guess now it is still safe to read the chapters, I mean the spoilers that you will find in chapter 20, mostly in one of Harry's line when talking about his and Ginny's relationship, are not really something that will spoil anything to you...actually, if you haven't read the sixth book yet, you won't even notice a spoiler there...I'm working more with some concepts brought by the HBP than real information...but be warned...later, I'll bring real information.

Special thanks to Jess for betaing this chapter.

Chapter 20 -- The End of the Beginning (Part II)

I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Raisins, 2003

**********************************************

Part II - Bittersweet

Their kiss deepened.

...and deepened...

It was no longer an encounter of flesh and bones.

Their lips collided; their tongues danced together. Their hands roamed everywhere, praising each other's body. A shiver that crossed every fibre of their mortal bodies...

And it ran deeper than that...It deepened and deepened...reaching their souls.

A soul kiss.

A moment in time.

A blind jump on the cosmic secrets.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Pride can stand a thousand trials,
the strong will never fall
But watching stars without you,
my soul cried.
Heaving heart is full of pain,
oh, oh, the aching.
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Touch me deep, pure and true,
gift to me forever
'Cause I'm kissing you, oh.
I'm kissing you, oh.
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
'Cause I'm kissing you.
I'm kissing you, oh.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Soft, warm, moist.

Their eyes were closed and still they could see each other engraved in their hearts.

So deep.

Breathing the same air...

Being each other's air...

Being each other's eveything...

His gentle touch as his fingers caressed her face. The feeling of loss as their lips parted and the feeling of completeness as his lips travelled down her neck, planting small kisses along the away, sucking her earlobe gently, and biting it gently with his teeth, whispering softly;

'I love you.'

She moaned as his lips found hers again...hungrily, passionately, drinking her in. She answered with the same passion, drinking him in...

Their essences melting together.

He moaned. Her hands on his shoulders, working their way on his black coat, pushing it away...

His fingers travelling down on the buttons of her flanel pajamas, unbottoned them one by one...

She shivered in his arms, entraced by the feel of skin upon skin as his fingers traced down her torso, waltzing over her belly and ...

Mummy

Her eyes snapped open. The door had been closed. She had opened it. Flashes of what she saw behind it haunted her again. Too much...Too much pain...The loss. The blood. The destruction.

She pulled away...pulled away from him.

He missed the touch...missed her in his arms...

He slowly opened his eyes, waking up from the dream.

"Hermione?" He called to her, concerned when he saw the haunted shadow that covered the light of her brown eyes.

His hands covered hers. Her hands were so cold...

"Hermione..." He squeezed her hands warming them up.

She gasped.

Their eyes locked.

That same shadow took over the bright emerald green.

"Oh, Harry, what have we done?"

"Just don't think about it, love." His voice sounded soothing, one hand still covering hers and the other caressing her cheek, wiping a single tear away.

She suddenly let go of his hands like they were on fire.

"DON'T THINK ABOUT IT?!" she shouted. "Harry, we have just broken the freaking spell. We fucking freed bloody Voldemort and condemned the world to its end. How the hell am I not going to think about it?!"

Harry just sent her an inquisitive look as his eyes left hers and danced a little below the eye line.

She looked down at herself and, as she just realized what they have been doing, she groaned in a mixture of annoyance and frustation. Turning her back on him, she buttoned up her pajamas.

He went to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Please, Hermione..."

She sighed. She let herself to be spun around and clutched in his arms. Hermione closed her eyes and inhaled his scent.

They stayed like that for a long time until she finally raised her head over his shoulder and all she saw was darkness.

"Harry, love, where are we?"

"Nowhere," he whispered.

Hermione sighed. "Well, it's darker than I remembered."

Harry blinked and looked around, as he too was only now realizing their dark surroundings. He looked at her, a wicked grin on his face. "Sorry, I guess you were the only thing on my mind." And as he kept on grinning, a whole scenario appeared around them...like magic.

"Better?" he asked her.

Hermione stared at the familiar set before her. Her eyes passed through every treasured piece of furniture until they rested at the fireplace...She stepped closer to it. The reflection of the flames in her eyes was the only thing concealing the sadness in them.

She felt his hands wrapping around her waist and she leaned back in the embrace.

She remembered. She remembered now...remembering was both a gift and a curse.

If only she could..if only they...

It felt so good...to be together...just be together.

"We can't do this, Harry. We need to go back. We need to help them."

The voice of reason. She was always the voice of reason and sometimes she really hated herself for it. Now more than ever.

Not even the flames of the fireplace could warm the ice cold gaze Harry now held. "Why? Why do we need to help them after all they did to us?"

"You can't condemn six billion lives because of the deeds of two."

"Why not? I wouldn't be the first."

At this Hermione turned around, perplexed. "No, but you would probably be the last." She cupped his face in both her hands, making him look right into her eyes, right into her soul. "Having no glasses is no excuse to become blind."

He looked down, turning around and heading for the armchair in front of the fireplace and sagging into it as Hermione kept talking, "Don't let them do this to you, Harry. Don't let this power blind you."

Harry sighed, hiding his face in his hands. "It's not power that blinds me, Hermione. It never was."

She kneeled in front of him, placing a hand on his knees. "That's why you shouldn't have stopped me, Harry. I knew perfectly well what I was doing."

"No, you didn't. We were giving up on us --"

She cut him off. "I was setting us free. I was setting you free, Harry. Once I gave up my own love for you, you would be free to go back...back to your home, where you could be happy again."

He placed a hand on her face, caressing it tenderly. He looked into her eyes. "You are my home," he said bending forward and capturing her lips on his.

It deepened.

The flames of the fireplace increased, dancing in aswer to their passion.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"No...we can't, Harry. We can't," said Hermione, completely out of breath as she broke their kiss...again...Her hands over his chest, their foreheads together, eyes closed. "Just let me go. When you love someone, when you really love someone, you let them go."

"Codswallop. That's rubbish and you know it. When you love someone, you don't let them go. Ever. You fight 'til the end for that someone."

Hermione shook her head slightly... sadly... "We fought 'til the end, Harry. Over and over again. And we lost. Maybe it's time we accept defeat."

"No," was his only reply.

"Harry, my parents, my whole family, are out there. Ron is out there. All of the Weasley's, Sirius, Neville; all our friends. All those that we love and all those innocent lives..."

"I don't care," he replied coldly.

"Yes, you do, Harry. You wouldn't be yourself if you didn't."

"Maybe I am not. Maybe Harry Potter was just a character I created...A stupid role that I played, that I got tired of playing, " he said, with a mysterious twinkling in his emerald orbs...

"I don't know about Harry Potter" Hermione said, resting her head on his lap. "But I know my Harry very well," she said softly as her hands reached for his and she started tracing patterns on his palm. "He has the most beautiful soul that I have ever seen, so pure and so bright..." She looked up at him. "I could see it in his eyes...His eyes held so much love...He turned his back to everything he knew, everything he was told... to fight for what he believed...and he believed in these people. He believed in this world and above all he believed in love...so much, with such a strengh, such passion that he would give up everything for it...even love itself."

Harry sighed. "Is that what you want from me, Hermione? For me to give up everything for them...for me to give up on our love...and then what? Do you want me to be with Ginny? Do you want me to find the little happiness I can beside her...living someone else's life...pretending I'm normal...until I'm ready to take my white horse and crosss that little rainbow of yours... the one you believe is going to take me to another world. To the Beyond. Is that what you really want? Because if it is, just say the word and I'll do it."

Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance...although that action seemed to only be covering another emotion...

She left his side, sitting on the other armchair.

"Well, better Ginny than all those other bimbos you've been seing," she spat.

Harry had a loopside grin adorning his face. "Oh, I knew you would bring them up somehow. Listen, love, I don't know all those women."

She just stared at him, piercing brown eyes.

Harry sighed. "Oh, alright. So maybe I know half of them. But what do you expect? I was under a spell and Ron keept dragging me to all those parties."

"Humph..."

"And Snape's potions didn't help either..."

"Yeah, right. Good excuse, darling. Still not good enough. Honestly, Harry, I thought you had better taste than that."

"I did. I mean, I do. Oh, come on, love. You know I only have eyes for you," he said, staring at her with big puppy-dog eyes.

"Humph...Yeah, right..."

"Besides you can't really complain now, can you, love? I mean, you don't see me complaining about Krum or Malfoy, and what's the name of that bloke with the annoying--"

Hermione looked at him, mouth agape, perplexed. "Oh, stop right there, Mister. Don't you dare bring past lifetime affairs into this... let's focus on this life, will you? Believe me, you don't want me to go through all your past life affairs. Your list is way longer than mine and I still have a thing or two to say about your last fiancée. Besides, I've been a good girl in this life. I've spent the last few years sleeping on a cold and empty bed all by myself...crying for you, waiting for you, reading all sort of books to try and find a way for us to be together --"

This time it was he who cut her off. "You mean Dark books."

"Well, some of them, yes."

"Oh, love, we've been through this before. I can't believe you are medling with dark arts again. You know how things went badly the last time you--"

"So, as I said, it was just some books, Harry. Oh, honestly, darling, it's not like I've been casting unforgivables around...Okay, so maybe I've cast this one on Draco...but that was all. Besides, it's not me that keeps destroying the world. That's usually your cue."

"Fair enough," he stated.

"And, even if in theory nothing good can come up from the dark arts, I've found pretty good stuff into those books that helped me improve the HRH system."

"Yep. The HRH. Now that's a new one. Loved the name by the way."

"Thank you," she said smugly.

"Do you think it will work?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "I don't know, Harry. Before, I thought it would. I had to believe it would. But now...Now that I have gained access to all this knowledge of previous lifetimes, I'm afraid it was only a big waste of my time...not to say that I put so many in danger because of it."

"Why? Why do you think it won't work?"

"Because I can't find the right spell. I can't even write a new one because there is no such thing as a right spell. Your people don't even speak like we do."

"Well, I'm one of them. Maybe I can help you come up with something."

"Can you read the symbols? Do you know what they mean?"

"Er...not really," he said scratching the back of his neck. "I kind of warned myself to not open some of the 'doors' on my mind. The answer you seek is behind one of these 'doors'. I mean I can open it but..."

"But?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"If I say that I do, will your answer be something that I'll regret knowing for the rest of my life?"

Harry shrugged. "It might be."

"So, no. Thank you."

Harry grimaced. "You used to want to know all the answers, no matter what. What changed?"

"You know very well what changed. I learned the hard way that sometimes you are better off without knowing everything," she said, looking right into his eyes and he could see that shadow luring there...spreading itself...in her eyes...in her...in them.

They both turned their gazes to the fire, averting each other eyes.

There was something in the air. Something, some line they were both aware of. They knew perfectly well what would be there once they cross that line...

But they didn't dare to cross it....at least, not yet...

After some excruciating moments, Harry looked at her. Sensing his eyes on her, she finally returned his gaze and what she saw there scared the hell out of her. Would he cross that line?

"What about Ron?" he finally asked.

"What about him?" she asked back, nervously, afraid of the answer...afraid of where this answer might lead them...it hurt so much...so much and if she said it aloud ..it would all be true..no going back, no way to pretend it was all only a bad dream...that this was only a dream and when she woke up they would all be together again.

"He is your damn soulmate, Hermione."

She released the breath she had been holding. She even smiled, somehow relieved at his reply.

"Oh, that. Yeah, he is," she said calmly and so naturally, like they were discussing something as unimportant as the weather.

"And?"

"And what, Harry?"

"Well, you are clever enough. I'm sure you can figure it out by yourself. Although, personally, I think the word soulmate pretty much summarizes it all."

"What do you want me to say, love? I saw the book. There was my name and then there was Ron's. There's no denying it, he is my soulmate. By the way, do you think you can get me a copy of that Book. It must be a hell of a read."

"Hermione!"

"Oh, come on, Harry. Honestly, just because Ron and I are soulmates it doesn't mean we have to be together."

"Strange. I was under the impression that was exactly what that meant."

"Well, a long time ago Plato wrote about the origens of soulmates...about this race of androgynous beings...not really a man or a woman but a combination of both...one body, one soul. These beings were too powerful...powerful enough to be a threat to the Gods and to attack them. Zeus was not very happy about this so he split these beings, these humans...He cut them in halves. So then, humans became a species of half beings...condemned to a life searching for each other...seaching for that other half...searching to be whole again, to be one. Well, there are many other theories embedded in this one... like the fact that our bodies crave intimacy with others because of this -- Well, I'm sure you have a more accurate version of this story locked somewhere within you but that's not the point here."

"And what's your point?"

"My point is, all right... perhaps in the beginning Ron and I were just one soul but that was a long time ago. As time went by instead of finding each other, our souls grew apart. We grew up to want different things....You know Ron and I better than anyone. You know that we don't complete each other. On the contrary, given the chance we would probably kill each other. Of course that doesn't change the fact that we are soulmates and will always be mates...best mates...best friends. We will always be part of each other lives. But what you and I have...Oh, Harry. Your soul travelled through time and space and found mine and mine found yours. It was not written anywhere. It was not carved in stone and still, still we found each other, and we became one. We are not soulmates, Harry. But we are one soul. One heart. One life. We are One. One in a world of halves."

Harry looked at the woman he loved in admiration, entraced by her words. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Shine."

She just smiled.

"You are so beautiful."

"Yeah, right. I'm always on my best when I'm in my flannel pajamas, and I look especially beautiful when said pajamas are all torn and dirty with the mud from the cemetery the Dark Lord has been resting against his will for the past few years...it's really sexy...Oh, and let's not forget the hair--", she was saying, until she took a real look at her hair, holding a lock of it. She gasped. "Oh, God...actually, let's forget the hair...." She groaned, leaning in the chair...

Harry stared at her...She stared at him....And soon the two broke out into a fit of laughter...

Their laughs echoed through the scenario around them. It was so good to be able to laugh like that again...although something was still amiss...something was missing. Perhaps, another laugh...

Harry could not contain himself any longer. He needed to hold her, needed to be with her...he would step the damn line if needed...he didn't want to see her in anymore pain but they couldn't avoid it forever...they had to face it...face the truth...the truth that hurt the most.

He got up and crossed the small space between them. He tucked the same lock of hair she had just held behind her ear. "I love your hair," he said, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

He then offered her a hand. Hermione looked at it for a moment hesitantly. She knew that if she took that hand there would be no going back...But then she wondered if there had ever been a going back when it came to Harry and her. No. Not that she could remember. And she could remember a lot....

She took his hand and as she got up, there was a sparkle between their hands, a welcoming feeling taking hold of them.

"I love all of you, Hermione. I love your hair." And he caressed it again. "I love your lips. They are so soft, so inviting," he said tracing her lips with his fingers. "I love you skin. It is like silk," he caressed her cheek as his words went on, "I just love the feel of it under mine... And your scent --" He rested his head on her shoulder, his lips brushing on her neck, his warm breathing making her shiver all over. "God, you are beautiful. You are like an angel...my angel. It doesn't matter if you are on your pajamas or in fancy robes. It doesn't matter if you are barefoot or wearing glass slippers. Your beauty comes from within you, love, and it shines. It's a unique beauty. One must be blind to not see it."

'Only him,' she thought. Only he could make her feel as beautiful as this, because in his eyes she was beautiful and that was all that mattered...

She smiled at him...that true big and enchanting smile of hers.

'Only him," she thought. Only he could leave her so speechless...she wished she could weave a web of words as beautiful as the ones she just heard. But now all she could do was smile as she once more let herself be lost in those emerald pools...

"I love you, Harry. I have loved you all my life."And then it hit her, so hard. That flow of memories... "All my lives." And then she faltered, the intensity of it was so strong...

"Hermione," he held her tightly, steading her.

She glanced at the ring on her finger and then at the one on Harry's. And more memories flowed...

Her eyes were moist with tears.

"Hermione, love, I --"

"No, Harry. Just hold me. Please just hold me," she pleaded, throwing her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. "I should have let you give him that broom he wanted."

Harry gasped. It was like a million tiny knives had been thrown at his heart and now he was just bleeding inside...just bleeding. They have finally crossed the line...actually they crushed it into pieces...they erased the line...it was the end of the lie...and it hurt...too much.

Harry took a deep breath. He needed to be strong. He needed to be strong for her...for them.

"Sh...No, you were right, love, as always. He was just...he was too young to fly."

Hermione stepped back so they could face each other. Haunted eyes found haunted eyes.

"He was also too young to die" She sobbed... she felt weak. She was about to collapse on her knees when Harry caught her. But soon he fould himself unable to stop her fall as he too was falling, haunted by so many images from the past.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Hermione. All this power. All this power and I couldn't... I couldn't stop it."

"Don't. Don't go there again. We've been through this before, remember? It's not your fault... if anything... I should have been there with him...if only...Oh God, I really hate Quiddtich."

"Sh... it's okay. I'm here."

"No. It's not. It's not okay, Harry. It will never be okay...our little boy...how could -- How could they do that to us. It hurts so much. I miss him so much, Harry."

Harry said nothing. No words would be enough to stop their tears or their pain. Grieve...Grieve together was all they could do. They held each other for a very long time...for it was not over until the last tear fell down, until they had no tears left to cry.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
Nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
It's just the way that we are tied in
But there's no one home
I grieve...
for you
You leave...
Me
So hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
Said life carries on...
Carries on and on and on...
And on
The news that truely shocks
is the empty, empty page
While the final rattle rocks
Its empty, empty cage...
And I can't handle this
I grieve...
For you
You leave...
Me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
Said life carries on...
I said life carries on and on...
And on

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Harry kindly rubbed away the last tear that rolled down her face. She looked into his eyes.

"What kind of parents are we, Harry? How could we forget about him? How could we forget our own son?"

"We didn't, Hermione. We didn't forget about him. Just like we didn't forget about each other. Deep down we, love. Deep down we kept the memory of him. Because our souls knew, Hermione. Our souls never forgot. Close your eyes, love. Close your eyes and you will see it. How we never forgot. He was there in the dreams you didn't remember having. In the visions that confused us...damn how many times I saw it...a beautiful woman holding a baby. But it was always so blurry...I thought I was the boy and -- damn.... all those déjà vus...Our souls were always trying to wake us to the truth that laid before our eyes."

"Oh." Hermione looked down sadly.

"What? What is it?" he asked, placing a finger under her chin to bring her eyes back to him but she kept averting it.

"The watch. The letter. The dream. It was never a vision of the future. It was a vision from the past...A past that is lost now."

"Hermione, look at me. Please, darling, look at me. We can still have that future. We can still have him back."

"We can't, Harry. It's --it's impossible."

"No, it's not, Hermione, look at me. Trust me when I say it's possible. I promise you, love. I promise you'll have our son back in your arms...Hermione", he said, taking her hand and helping her to stand up, "I have more control of my powers now. My true powers. Hermione, I can build us a whole new world."

In a blink, Hermione and Harry were in the middle of a very beautiul view, with blue sky, waterfalls and evergreen grass...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep

You wake with the morning sunlight
To find fortune that is smiling on you
Don't let your heart be filled with sorrow
For all you know, tomorrow
The dream that you wish will come true
No matter your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true
Ooh, yeah, come true

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"A home, Hermione." A victorian house appeared in the middle of that paradical land. "A new home where we can be together. I can bring James back."

"Harry--"

"Whatever you want, Hermione, whatever he wants, I can give you..."

Hermione saw herself surrounded by expensive clothes, the kind of clothes displayed in the vitrines of the most famous maisons, like the ones her grandmother dragged her when they visited Paris or Milan.

Hermione sighed. "Harry..."

"...and jewels. The most expensive ones. The most exquisite, and exotic, and rare ..."

Hermione almost went blind with all those shining diamonds, emeralds, rubies...

She sighed. "Harry..."

"...yeah, I know. You are right. I don't know where I was with my mind...Just forget about all of this." And in another blink it all disappeared but something else appeared in its place...

Hermione gasped as she saw herself surrounded by endless shelves filled with books.

"Books. A lot of books. You'll have the largest library of all...with all the tomes ever written. I can even get you a copy of the Book of Life, but let me warn you it's really a boring reading...although there's this World War XVI passage that is really cool, with all those space ships, it's almost like Star Wars....only you have a lot more blood...a lot more...and it's real blood. Well, at least now that will never happen..."

"Harry..."

"Anyway, I was thinking about building a tree house for James. Do you think he will like it? Well, nothing like the Whooping Willow. I meant the muggle ones...Oh, I know brooms...all the brooms he wants...all the brooms ever made and even some not made yet..."

"Harry..."

"Oh, you don't need to worry. I won't let him ride alone, not until he is old enough...Then I'll teach him how to fly...how to do a Wronski Feint - Oh, I'll build him a Quidditch field..." he said, getting on his broom and flying up and down.

Hermione almost smiled. Almost. Up until now, talking with him had been useless, not to say impossible. He was acting like a child on christmas morning. She couldn't really blame him...It was a beautiful dream. It would pain her to wake him...it really would, but she had to. It had gone too far.

"HARRY!"

Harry stared at her, mouth agaped. "Oh, okay then. No Quidditch. What do you think about a football stadium...he has always liked everything from the Muggle world. Do you remember when he spent a day with your parents and came back home telling us how cool muggles were? So cool and how he wanted to be a muggle when he grew up?"

Harry smiled at Hermione. Hermione didn't smile back. She kept a somber look...

"Basketball? Cricket?"

"And who is he gonna play with, Harry?"

"Why, me of course."

"Oh, Harry."

"What? What is it?"

"Harry, we can't stay here."

"Why? Didn't you like it? Well, we can change it. You can redecorate this world all you want. Oh, I got it. It's the sky, isn't it? It is too blue for a Londoner's taste, right?" The sky turned grey and it started to rain. "You've always loved the rain."

"Don't do this, Harry."

"Don't do what?"

"You know what. This. It's a beautiful dream. But you know that's all it is. It's not real, Harry."

"It can be if you want," he said softly, holding her hand.

"Oh, Harry, you can't just conjure us a new world."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no life in this world", she shouted.

A thunder echoed. Harry stared at her, seeming a lot like a little lost boy.

"Ah, love, don't you want our son to have what we had," she said softly.

"Of course I want it. That's why I'll give him everything."

"Everything? What is everything, Harry? Brooms and books are hardly everything, don't you think?"

A lightning stroke. Harry grimaced at her words. "We will be together. The three of us will be together in a home full of love. Isn't this enough?"

"No, it isn't."

Harry looked at her, petrified by each of her words. What was just a few rain drops became a real thunderstorm.

"Harry, why did you choose to come as a human? Why did you choose to stay in our world. You that were an Immortal, who had Everything."

Harry kept his eyes on her, his eyes were gleaming with tears he was holding back.

"Life, Harry. You came to save life. You came after life and you lived...You suffered like we do and you bled like us. Life was cruel to you...and it showed you its very worst...and it's only because you knew the worst of it that you learned to value the best of it. For you would never know peace if you did not know war. You would never know love if you did not know hate. You lived, Harry. You made friends, you laughed, you cried, you loved, you hated, you stumbled many times on the way, you got up and kept going. And that's life. It's not perfect. It's not always fair and sometimes it can surprise you in the worst of ways...but we keep on living, we keep on fighting for life because you never know when the best of surprises is waiting for you right around the corner. I want James to have this, Harry. I want to see him take the Hogwarts Express. I want to see him make new friends, fall in love, fall out of love and then fall in love again until he's found the one...his everything. I want to see you proud when he won the Quidditch cup and me consoling him when he got only an E in his potion NEWTs.. Life will not be easy for him, it never is. He will not always win, sometimes he will fall but he will get up...and no matter what we will be there for him, always. I want to see him grow up and became a good man. And then he will give us grandchildren...Oh, my I can't wait - Oh, Harry, don't you want our son to live?"

"Of course I want it. More than anything I want you and James to be happy. But I can't, Hermione. I can't risk it." His tears were rolling down freely....mixed with the raindrops from the storm that now had them both soaking wet.

Hermione smiled sadly at him, "To live is to take risks, love."

"Please, Hermione. Don't ask me to do this...You don't know what it felt like...without you, I'm completely lost. That damn spell was a nightmare, Hermione. It was like being split in two: one lost within, one a shell, a shadow of what I once was. One a little boy in a cupboard. One a bloody hero in a book. One that remembered. One that longed to remember. One that watched you suffer every step of the way, who yearned to go out and wipe all your tears. And one who wondered why his best friend looked so sad, so alone, so distant. One that just wanted to punch Ron really hard in the face and one that just shrugged innocently...One that knew the truth and one that seeked it and didn't know the truth was right there under his nose, staring at him with such beautiful eyes...It was a living hell, Hermione. To feel your pain and not be able to hold you. When you hurt, I hurt with you. When you cried, I cried with you and when--"

She kissed him. Kissed him in earnest, with all she had, with all her love, heart and soul.

The thunderstorm regressed to gentle drops of rain.

"Sh...it's over now, darling. I'm here. We broke the spell. We are together..."

"Yeah, but if we go back there --"

"It won't change anything. We will find another way...I don't know what way yet ...but I'm sure if we stay together..."

"Oh, Hermione, oh, my love...I promised you I would never cast that spell...and I broke that promise... I didn't want to...I'm so sorry...but ...but you were dying, you were going to a place where I could not follow you, and I --"

"Sh...I know."

She held him tenderly.

"No, you don't. You don't understand. You don't know them...You don't know my family - I mean, The Ones From Beyond...They won't let us be together. I can hide us here...I can protect you and James...My world , my rules...but once we step back on Earth...that world has its own rules. Rules settled by forces that come from a place beyond Beyond and that my Father and my Mother will make sure are followed. I can be The One. I can be their first and most powerful son...but even so, I'm not nearly a tenth as powerful as they are, especially now that I've became so human."

"I don't understand. If you are their son, why would they try to hurt you?"

"Because there's good, there's bad and in the between of those two, there's us, the Immortals."

"And what that's supposed to mean?"

"I don't really know. The more I breathe, the more I forget. I have a few memories from there...from them...It's not wise to open those doors so all I have are just some impressions printed in the back of my mind...But this I know for sure, they don't really mean to hurt me; simply because they know nothing about pain. They just want me to return home. My stay here is a threat to the Universe's balance."

Harry withdrew, sighing sadly. "I guess they are right, I am a threat."

"Harry," she reached for him, holding him tigtly...and as he sobbed, she became a shoulder for him to cry...

"There's no way out, is there? If we don't go back, you are going to resent me for leaving them behind and I'll resent you for resenting me when all I ever wanted was for us to be together. And in the end this will destroy us...this will taint our love - a love so pure will be broken into pieces... Now, if we go back - either way we lose ..."

"Don't. Don't say that. A warrior never goes to the battlefield thinking the battle is already lost. He fights because he believes he can win. And we can still win this battle, Harry."

"How?"

"With faith, Harry. I have faith in you. And I believe in us, I believe in our love. Who cares about some stupid rules...after all those years at Hogwarts I can say we got pretty good at breaking rules...so let's break them. Let's break all of them. We are stronger now, Harry, and it's not like the other times when we were caught by surprise. We have all these memories now. All our past mistakes...we can learn from them...and make it all right this time...no more spells. We don't need them. We can beat whatever life throws at us, just as long we are together."

Harry nodded into her shoulder...and closed his eyes tightly...held her tightly as the scenario around them began to fade...

They were again surrounded by darkness. Harry sighed. There was glow in his eyes...and for a moment emerald were replaced by jade. He looked tired, completely defeated. He raised his head, his pleading eyes found her while two words came of his mouth, so low, so weak was his voice that she almost didn't hear him.

"One day."

"What?"

"One day. That's all that I ask."

"Harry, honestly, what are you talking about? What about the others? As we speak, they are in mortal danger. We can't just take a day off."

"It won't affect them. I promise we will be there in time to not let any harm come to them."

"You know I don't have the watch here with me."

"Yeah, I know. And I still can't belive in it. Him -- of all the people -- him? But we can discuss this when this mess is all over. I don't need the watch...not for something like this. It's just a little time manipulation, nothing that I haven't done before."

"It will weaken you."

"I can handle it."

"The last time you said that --"

"I can handle it," he repeated himself. His voice was steady. His words final.

Still, she protested. "Harry...that's ridicculus, you don't need to ask me for a day...you have all my days and you know it. Forever, remember?"

"Then, we will have forever and a day," he replied, his words echoing gentle, his lips brushing hers tenderly.

Hermione gave him a weak smile and then she sighed. "Why, Harry?"

He looked into her eyes and she could find reflected there the sorrow in his soul. "Because I have spent the last years of my life trapped in my own mind. Because I just found out that half of my life is a lie. Because they killed my son. Because I have seen you die in my arms time and time again. Because if I go there right now, all these memories will still be burning in my mind...burning in my soul...and I might explode and take half of the galaxy with me. Because I need you. Because only you can push this darkness, these dark memories away and help remind me of the good ones...our first date in Hogsmeade. James' first word. Our second honeymoon. Jame's first step. That Valentine's day. His first birthday...so many memories and that's just talking about our first go in this life...and we live so many of them...so many memories. Do you remember that lifetime when you didn't know you were a witch and we just meet years later on that train...I'll never forget that ride...I don't want to forget it, any of it. Not again. Please, Hermione. One day. That's all that I ask. One day when nothing else matters but you and me. One day for us to be together like we used to be. Just talking, laughing, living... Besides, I still owe you a dance..."

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And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

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