2003 Normal 2003 1 1 2003-07-14T18:52:00Z 2003-07-14T18:54:00Z 1 3146 16993 141 40 20099 10.2625 21 MicrosoftInternetExplorer4
Title: Forever a Secret (02)
Author name: LittleWitch
Author email: littlewitch_br@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Keywords: Harry Potter Hermione Granger
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF
Summary: The Wizard World was a mysterious place -- full of secrets. Three years after the fall of the
Dark Lord, darkness was still spreading over. A secret was held. A secret that was killing their souls. But they had to
pay the price -- or else the rest of the world would. No matter what, it had to be forever a secret.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various
publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc.
No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The lyric of the song that appear on
this chapter isn't mine. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The song is
'Stigmatized' by The Calling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2 - Let it Go
"You are late, Granger. What was it this time? Did you have too much trouble stealing your boyfriend's invisibility cloak or should I say ex-boyfriend's?"
Hermione Granger's features slowly showed themselves as she took off the cloak.
"It's nice to see you too, Draco."
Yes, Hermione Granger was in a deserted and dark alley with the one and only Draco Malfoy. But no, it was not what you were thinking. Oh, people -- please -- Everybody knew that Hermione hated Draco, right? I mean, he was a true nightmare at Hogwarts and -- what about all the times that he called her Mudblood or the times he tried to kill her. No, there was a reasonable explanation for that meeting...let us just say that things were a little more complicated that they seemed... a lot more complicated...
"Don't call me like that." Draco was all in black what made it very difficult to distinguish his tall figure in the dark of the alley except for his pale face and hair and his blue eyes which held a coldness in them.
"Like what, Draco?" Hermione's tone was full of sarcasm.
"I'm warning you, Mudblood," Draco hissed at her.
"Oooh, now you've got me scared." She waved her hands and made a big scene, pretending to be really scared.
"You know what, Mudblood. I really miss the time when my only aim in life was kill you."
"Don't we all?" Hermione teased him.
"Ok, Granger. Just tell me what you want and spare us both the idea to stay in each other's presence longer than we already have."
"Charming as always, aren't you, Draco? But you have a good point there so let us be quick. The Dark Ones are trying to -- "
"Trying to bring Him back."
"How did you know?" Hermione asked surprised.
"Oh, please. What do you have me for? I'm a Malfoy," Draco said this with his usual 'I'm a Supreme Being' tone.
"Right, silly me, sometimes I forget that you are one of the bad guys--so you know what I want from you."
"Yeah, you want me to keep scar-faced out of it...for obvious reasons. But it won't be too easy this time. Potter is not stupid, I mean he is stupid but not that stupid and if he is already involved in the case..."
"Yeah, you are right but you have to figure out a way to stop him. You...just make your price, Ok? Whatever it is, I'll pay. Just stop Harry before it's," Hermione paused and for a split of second she seemed completely lost in thought, "before it's too late."
"Are you all right?" Draco asked as she leaned on the wall and closed her eyes, sighing deeply.
"Why?" Hermione looked up and caught his eyes fixed on her. He seemed...Draco Malfoy seemed concerned. That was impossible. "Do you really care?"
"No, of course not. Why should I?" he replied quickly--too quickly as he turned his back to her .
Hermione smiled. "I'm just tired, that's all," she said softly.
"Why don't you just let it go?" Malfoy whispered still not looking at her. "Why do you go on with this? You don't need to. You can cast a spell on yourself or ask Snape for a potion and then it'll be all over. It would all be over and you would be free to..."
"Shut up," Hermione yelled, which made Malfoy immediately turn to her again. He could tell by the look in her eyes that she was angry. Very angry. "Shut up. I don't want to hear any of this. You...Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to...you don't know a thing about me or him or lo- "
"Love?" he whispered.
Silence.
Maybe it was something in the way he said it. Maybe it was something in the way he was looking at her. Maybe it was something in the way he stepped close to her when he said it. Maybe it was something in the way his eyes shined with sorrow. Maybe, just maybe.
"Yes, love," she whispered back.
"My father once told me that love is just a weakness and that's all."
"Your father was a Death Eater."
"Me too." He looked down. "You should go."
"I...I'll be in touch, Ok?"
"Sure," was his vague answer.
Hermione shook off and turned to go but something made her turn back to him one more time. "Oh, and Draco?"
"What?" he asked a little annoyed.
"Thanks." She smiled at him and put on the cloak, disappearing from his sight.
Draco stayed there, a blank expression on his face, looking at the empty darkness around him and hearing her steps until he couldn't hear her anymore. "You're welcome, Hermione," he whispered as he went the other way around.
****************
She Apparated back into Harry's room. As she put his invisibility cloak back to its right place, careful not to wake him up, Draco's words played in her mind. Why don't you just let it go?
If I give up on you I give up on me
If we fight what's true, will you ever be
Even God himself and the faith I knew
Shouldn't hold me back, shouldn't keep me from you
Looking at Harry, who was sound sleep on his bed, the answer came to her immediately. She couldn't let it go because she loved him so much. She always had. And always would. And no spell or potion could erase it. She didn't want it erased. She wanted it back. She wanted her life back. She wanted him.
Draco said that would all be over, but she knew that it would never be over because deep down she still had hope, she still believed. And no Dumbledore or anyone that mattered could change her mind. "It's fate, destiny, Hermione. There's nothing that we can do about it. You just have to accept it." That had been Dumbledore words. And she hated him for it. How could she accept it? She never believed in Divination in the first place. What did a bunch of centaurs know? Who cared about what the stars said? Screw destiny because if there was really one she was going to rewrite theirs. She would find a way. She always got the answers. This time would be no different. She would...
Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am
And live our lives, stigmatized
She sighed. She stepped closer to him. She needed to touch him. To feel him. Her fingers were on their way to caress his face, to play with his hair. "Stay away from him," Dumbledore's words echoed on her mind. The same words spoken three years ago-- Graduation Day.
She stepped back. What was she doing? She couldn't touch him. She couldn't feel him.
With a pop, she Apparated into her own bedroom, where she collapsed in tears.
I can feel the blood rushing through my veins
When I hear your voice, driving me insane
Hour after hour day after day
Every lonely night that I sit and pray
She couldn't let it go either.
****************
As soon as Harry Potter heard a pop, he opened his green eyes. Sighing, he sat up, rubbed his eyes and reached for his glasses.
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
Just live our lives, stigmatized
"Hermione..." He whispered in the darkness.
We'll live our lives, we'll takes the punches every day
We'll live our lives I know we're gonna find our way
Yes, Harry Potter was awake, had been through the night. He heard when Hermione returned to his room and took the invisibility cloak as he pretended to be sleeping, he heard when she came back and he pretended still.
And that wasn't the first time.
If not for the complete darkness of the room she could have seen Harry's eyes showing a lot of emotions in a flash. Sadness, concern, confusion.
"What are you hiding, Hermione? What are you hiding from me? Where do you go? Who you see? Why, Hermione? Why does it hurt so much to know that you can't trust in me? What is happening? Why can't you talk with me, like you always do? And when , when are these strange feelings going to pass? These feelings which freeze me up, that break something inside, that get me lost, that make me afraid of your secrets."
I believe in you
Even if no one understands
I believe in you, and I don't really give a damn
If we're stigmatized
We live our lives on different sides,
But we keep together you and I
We live our lives on different sides,
***********************************
"Ron, wake up. Hey, mate, wake up."
"Hmm...Harry..no..not now...let me sleep." Ron rolled in his bed.
"I need to talk to you."
Ron glanced at the clock beside his bed, which appeared to be just like a Muggle digital alarm clock, but instead of showing the time it showed in red letters the phrase 'Too early for a Weasley to wake up'. Ron groaned and grumbled.
"No, Ron. I really need to talk to you," said Harry, while pushing Ron's covers off.
There was an urgency in Harry's voice so Ron decided to listen.
"OK.OK. I'm up. What is it?" Ron asked, sitting up.
Harry sat beside his friend and sighed. "She did it again."
"Who did what, Harry?"
"Hermione," he whispered.
"Hermione? What about her?" Ron yawned.
"Shetookmyinvisibilitycloakandleftinthemiddleofthenight." Harry spoke in a rush and closed his eyes, biting his lower lip in apprehension, waiting for his friend's bombastic reaction. Because if there was one thing that Harry Potter had learned in ten years of friendship, it was that Ron's first reaction, whenever the matter was Hermione, was very...well...very loud.
Silence.
More silence.
Eventually, Harry opened his eyes and risked a glance at his friend. Ron seemed confused. Maybe he hadn't understood what he had said. Harry was about to speak again when Ron eyes suddenly grew wide in realization.
"She left?!!" Ron screamed. He stood up and started to pace. "To where? What happened? Oh, Merlin, we need to call the Ministry, the Aurous, the Order...Wait what do you mean with she did it again? Harry, what is going on here? Where is Hermione?"
Harry stood in front of his friend. "Ron, calm down. She's back already, Ok?"
"Oh..." Ron nodded and got quiet but his face showed only more confusion. "She is back already?"
"Yeah, and keep quiet or she is going to hear us."
"Back from where?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean with 'I don't know'. Didn't you follow her?"
"She was using an invisibility cloak, Ron."
"Oh, right....so, this isn't the first time?"
"No. About a month ago, I had a dream or a nightmare--I don't really remember what it was about--but I woke up with an uneasy feeling and I couldn't get myself to sleep again so I was just lying awake on my bed when I heard a noise. It was Hermione. I pretended like I was sleeping while she put my cloak on and disappeared. That was the first time that I discovered it and at the time, I thought nothing about it. 'She would tell me in the morning,' I thought to myself. -- But she didn't--and since then I have caught her other times doing the same exact ritual but never got myself to stop her, to ask her what she was doing. I just pretended to be sleeping still; thinking to myself that it was nothing, that she was Hermione after all and so she would tell me everything in the morning, but she never did and that's when I began to realize that she never would and that time I first saw her was probably not the first time she did it. I started asking myself how many times before had she done it, for how long she has been doing it, what are the secrets she is hiding from us. I know that I could have put some kind of charm on the cloak, that there were a thousand ways that I could have used to follow her but I...I guessed I was...am afraid of the answer...Ron? Ron?"
The red head was lost in thoughts, trying to manage all this information and...
"Do you think she is having an affair?"
"What?" Harry couldn't believe in his own ears.
"An affair, Harry. Sure, that explains a lot of things. That's why she doesn't want to marry me or even date me for that matter. She has someone else. She always had. And she has been seeing him all this time, meeting him in the middle of the night, using your invisibility cloak to go meet her secret lover."
"Ron, I don't think that is it. Why would Hermione be hiding that from us? Don't you think that is something that she could easily share with us?"
"Harry, do we live in the same world? Because after what you have just said, I guess we don't. We are talking about Hermione here. My Mione. Our best friend since we were eleven, who happens to be the woman I love. Of course she didn't tell us about it, she knows perfectly well that I would kill the bastard! I would hex him and torture him for having the courage to touch, to even come close to my Mione!!!"
"Ron, stop yelling, she's going to hear you. And you are not being rational here. Can you just listen--"
"Do you think it's Sirius?"
Harry stared at his friend as if he had grown a second head. "Wh-What? Have you lost your mind? You can't be serious."
"No. I'm really serious about Sirius. How could you be so stupid, Ronald Weasley? It was there all the time. Right in front of you. The way they look at each other..."
"What about the way they look at each other?" asked a still shocked Harry.
"Oh, come on, Harry. Don't tell me that you never noticed."
"Noticed what?"
"Have you never noticed? It happens all the time. Parties, reunions, informal meetings, they could be talking to each other or just listening to others and then--Bang. They exchange that 'we know something that you don't' look. I always wondered what was that about. Now I know. That stupid dog is trying to steal my little cat. Oh, but this won't stay like this. I'm going to show him..."
Harry was almost losing his patience with Ron and his crazy theory. Almost.
"Shut up, will you? Now I want you to close your eyes and breathe." Ron stared at him with a suspicious look. "Just do as I say...Good. Now I want you to count with me one, two, up to ten...Yes, now. No, no, no, keep your eyes closed. Good now I want you to picture Hermione's smiling face...Very good, now keep this picture in mind and tell me, do you really believe that our sweet best friend and my loyal godfather are having a love affair behind our backs or do you think that you went mad, completely crazy and after that unbelievable story of love and betrayal that you created in that sick mind of yours, the only reason your friend, Harry Potter, is not sending you to Saint Mungo's to have some special treatment is because after all Harry Potter knows that half of this is his fault because he was the one who woke up his friend too early and at this time of the day Ronald Weasley's brain does not function, not that at other times it works properly."
"Ok. Ok. Stop. I guess you are right. I'm a crazy wizard who clearly needs all his hours of sleep...So do you think it's Snape?"
"Ron!"
"Just kidding." Ron smiled at Harry's angry face.
"There's nothing funny here, Ron. If Hermione is hiding something from us it's because it's bad, very bad. We always tell each other everything. There are no secrets between the three of us."
"You wish."
"What that's supposed to mean, Ron? Are you hiding something too?"
"Maybe...What about you? All right, you don't need to make that face. No, Harry I have no secrets. But I have two words for you, time turner."
Harry shook his head in negative. "The time turner was different, she couldn't tell us about it."
"Maybe she can't tell us about what she is doing now either."
"Which is a bad thing."
Ron nodded as he sat in the edge of his bed. "I agree with you but, come on, it's Hermione."
"I know it's Hermione. And she is probably the greatest witch ever and I know that she must have a good reason for doing whatever she is doing but..." Slowly, Harry made his way to the window.
"But?" Ron gazed intensively at Harry, waiting for his answer, and an old feeling passed through him when he saw the way Harry eyes were shining, like they used to when... Suddenly, Ron wanted to stand up and hex Harry or maybe beat him up in the traditional way... Hold on a second. Harry ...and Hermione? Noooo. How could he possibly think about that. It was impossible. Maybe Harry was right and he was becoming a little paranoid... But then why sometimes was he so sure that the impossible was possible--was real?
Staring at the blackness of the night, Harry sighed. "I'm worried about her, Ron."
Harry's words brought Ron back to reality and he grinned. "Me too. But she is just to....how can I say....too Hermione sometimes. I mean I've been trying to kiss the girl since our fifth year and still gotten nothing. What is her problem? The others girls actually beg me for some kisses."
"Maybe the problem is the other girls." Harry glared at Ron, seeming a little tired of it all.
"Don't start lecturing me again, Harry. I can wait for her forever and you know it, but you can't actually expect me to wait dead in the track. Please, I'm a wizard. I'm a man. I have some needs."
" I don't know, Ron."
"Hey, mate. It's going to be fine."
"Do you think we should tell her that we already know and ask her what is exactly that we already know?"
"Hell, no," Ron yelled.
"Shh...why not?" Harry stared at him.
"Because if she is hiding this from us, she could very well lie about it when asked. She would find another way to do whatever she was doing behind our backs and then we would never know the truth."
"So you think that we should..."
"Follow her."
"I don't like this." Harry shook his head.
"Trust me, Harry. It's the only way. We follow her and if she is snogging some kind of Greek god, perfect and handsome wizard, all we have to do is Avada Kedavra him."
Harry stared at Ron serious face and laughed. "Sure, ending the life of Hermione's lover is worth spending a life time in Azkaban."
"Of course it is, and I would be so happy about it that I would run nuts the moment I stepped in there."
"You are already nuts, Ronald Weasley -- Seriously now, I have some businesses to take care for the Order now and still have two classes to give in the afternoon. So I'll just be back tonight, that's why I need you to watch over her while I am away."
"Ok." Ron just shrugged then paused. "You know, that's weird."
"What?" Harry asked confused.
"Us? Watching over Hermione."
"Yeah, I know. Usually it's the other way around...that's what scared me, Ron. What if we don't know how? What if we fail her?"
Ron got up and went to Harry, who was again contemplating the night. "We won't. We'll find a way...stop worrying, Harry. You know, sometimes you worry so much about Hermione that it almost seems that you are the one who loves her."
Harry turned and his green eyes searched his friend's. "But I do love her, Ron."
Time froze.
Ronald Weasley couldn't speak.
Ronald Weasley couldn't think.
Ronald Weasley couldn't breath.
Ronald Weasley couldn't be.
"I just don't love her the same way you do."
Time was running again.
Ronald Weasley could speak.
Ronald Weasley could think.
Ronald Weasley could breath.
Ronald Weasley could be.
Ron laughed nervously, not knowing what to say. "Of course you don't," he finally said.
Harry smiled at his friend, clueless to the fact that for a second his best friend stopped living, and turned his attention back to the stars in the sky.
Ron's laughs faded as he stared at Harry's back and the glow in his eyes was replaced by a cold glare.
We're gonna live our lives
Gotta live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
We're gonna live our lives
Gonna live our lives, stigmatized.