Title: Forever a Secret (15/?)
Author name: LittleWitch
Author email: littlewitch_br@hotmail.com
Category: Romance
Sub Category: Drama
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, OotP
Summary: The Wizarding World was a mysterious place -- full of secrets. Three years after the fall of
the Dark Lord, darkness was still spreading over. A secret was held. A secret that was killing their souls. But they
had to pay the price -- or else the rest of the world would. No matter what, it had to be forever a secret.
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various
publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc.
No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The lyrics used in this chapter
are from the song "My Sacrifice" by Creed, "Gollum's Song" by Emiliana Torrini, "Just like
you" by Three Days Grace and "Don't Speak" by No Doubt.
Chapter 15: The Beginning of The End (Part I)
ROUND 1: HARRY X DUMBLEDORE
`There is nothing worse than death, Dumbledore!' snarled Voldemort.
`You are quite wrong,' said Dumbledore, still closing in upon Voldemort and speaking as
lightly as though they were discussing the matter over drinks. Harry felt scared to see him
walking along, undefended, shieldless; he wanted to cry out a warning, but his headless
guard kept shunting him backwards towards the wall, blocking his every attempt to get out
from behind it. `Indeed, your failure to understand that there are things much worse than
death has always been your greatest weakness.'
-- Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix,
Chapter Thirty-Six, The Only One He Ever Feared
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Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
My sacrifice.
*************************************************************************
Harry opened his eyes.
He was surrounded by darkness.
Once again he was running in that dark and narrow corridor full of doors at both sides. But this time, he knew exactly where he was going. He knew which door he had to open.
He knocked it down. On the inside he found the same darkness he had found before.
A faint light shined, bringing to view the little boy in the middle of the room.
And even surrounded by all that darkness the two pair of emerald eyes crossed and locked.
The little boy smiled broadly. A captivating and innocent smile, stretched from ear to ear.
"You found it," he exclaimed, happiness overflowing from his words. "You found my treasure."
Harry only nodded at his other-self.
"WHOOP!" The room was now completely illuminated and the bouncing Harry-Boy performed some kind of victory dance.
Harry chuckled at this.
"That is bloody great! Now we can --" The boy suddenly stopped. All his features changed. His blood ran cold. He stared at Harry-Man. "Wait. No -- What is going on? Where is she? Why can't I feel her?"
Harry grimaced. "What do you mean you can't feel her?" he asked, urging for an answer.
The little boy had tears in his eyes. He shook his head.
"I can't. She is no longer there."
They fell into the darkness again.
The boy crossed his arms over his shoulder and there laid his head as he cried like a little boy of his age, not ashamed of letting his tears show…not ashamed of showing his pain…
He cried and cried…
Once again, Harry didn't know how to react to the boys' tears…to his own tears…
He approached the little one, slowly and carefully. He pressed a hand one his shoulder.
"Hey, don't cry. We'll find her. I have come this far, I'm not going to lose her now. I won't."
The Boy finally looked up. His bloodshot eyes reflected confusion, fear and a certain despair and he asked, "Who are you?"
The question had taken Harry by surprise. It was not the first time he asked himself this question. He did not answer him back then. He didn't know how. Such a simple question...such a complicated answer.
Harry sighed, slightly shaking his head.
"I don't know... But I know I was you once. And I will be you again."
The younger one smiled sadly at the older one, their eyes locking again.
"You are not ready to be me. I am not ready."
"We have to be. We have to do whatever it takes. For her."
"And for him."
"Him? Who are you talking about? Is it Ron? I --"
The boy just shook his head negatively, dropping his head and gazing at the darkness that covered the ground.
"If we become one, the doors the guardians have locked…" The Little Harry paused, taking a deep breath. "The doors I've been keeping close…" He paused again and this time he looked up, searching himself. "One by one they will open. You think you know the truth now…But there are still so many secrets behind these doors." The boy rubbed his eyes, wiping away some new tears drops that run freely across his face. "He will use it against you. You have to be strong. If you let the pain consume you and drive you out the light …If you fall into his darkness… You must control it. We must control ourselves."
"We will," Harry's answer came steady. His words full of confidence and hope.
The boy nodded and again a curve in the corner of his lips formed another weak and sad smile direct to his counterpart. He stood up.
Then the Harry-Boy closed his eyes and a rainbow of auras encircled his little body. The Harry- Man stepped back as the boy floated in the air…the energy emanated becoming too intense…A blow of wind run across him, pushing away his dark black bangs.
Harry-Man gasped as he watched the scar disappearing of the other's forehead…Suddenly a white aura covered the room, blinding Harry for a moment…
He could only fell a gust of wind passing through him and hear the sound of doors slamming shut and open, in an uninterrupted action.
When the whiteness faded the Harry-Man was no longer staring at Harry-Boy for the boy was no longer. He had became a man , his worn clothes -- his cousin' clothes that he remembered using at that early age -- had been replace by two simple pieces of cloth…pants and t-shirt, both of a white so white, matching the aura that had replaced all the others…A pure white aura …
"What --" Harry's words got stuck in his throat…as he stared at himself. His counterpart now held such serenity in his eyes…
Peace…
That was what his aura transmitted, a peace of soul, mind and heart that Harry had longer forgotten how it felt like…
It's amazing the power a scar can have in ones life. And it's even more amazing what one can become once he can see past those scars…once he can erase them…
But is that even humanly possible? To erase the scars…don't they mark us forever? How can one simply forget what was once done…what once hurt…
The White-Harry smiled at Harry in a silently answer to Harry's silently questions. His smile reflected the same as his eyes
"So be it, Harry Potter," the White-Harry stated softly. "You have made your choice. We'll fight destiny…" That said he closed the small distance between him and the other Harry. "Again," he added in what could have been taken as a sad last note. A note that should have been considered.
And then they emerged together….
Light, darkness and screams…
*************************************************************************
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home
*************************************************************************
It was happening again…
The earth trembled. Pink blasts of energy emerged from the soil of the cemetery, reaching the sky, making holes on the clouds….
The sun that had just risen suddenly disappeared…Day became night. A starless night. A moonless night. The darkness arrived covering it all…
Giant waves…Rainstorms… Tornados…Erupting Volcanoes…
This time it was not only a glimpse…it was the beginning.
Hogwarts' students scream as this time there was no magic to protect them from the wave of magic…from the shake of earth…from the darkness of the sky…
Pink laces of energy crossed miles…until they ended there…crossing the stone halls of the old castle, entangled and untangled themselves, passing through all the corners until they found their source…in the Astronomy Tower.
The first blast hit Harry right in the chest…Then another…then another….his body went forth and back at each new impact, at the intensity of the aura…
He screamed…It hurt. It hurt so much.
He took a sharp breath. His eyes snapped open…
"DUMBLEDOOOOOOOORE," he yelled, using all the air in his lungs. Dumbledore's name echoed through the seven corners of the earth…through all the dimensions…through hell and above…
The Order trainees and the school crew tried to protect the students as a greater earthquake hit the castle. A crack was opened. The castle was split in two…the south tower collapsed… Students scream going out of the castle…going as far as it was possible…
Outdoors, the heaven's eye had gone and the only thing illuminating the path of the frightened students was an intense jade aura. Surrounded by that aura the students found Harry Potter, their teacher, their hero…but the image of The Boy Who Lived only seemed to fright them even more…
His figure surrounded by that powerful aura, floating up in the sky, his black cloak dancing in the air, his scar glowing in an even deeper tone than the one covering him.
"DUMBLEDORE!"
A lightining tore the the sky. The students brought their hands to cover their ears as the name of their former headmaster clapped like thunder in their minds.
"Professor Potter! Professor, stop!" Professor Sinistra and Professor Flinch cried out. But in vain. Most students joined the teachers in their pleas but no answer come from him. The only answer they got came from the sky: Hundreds of thunderbolts descending from it.
The students' screams and tears went on while a torrencial downpour fell.
They couldn't understand what was happening. They simply couldn't -
"Harry," a steady voice was heard in the middle of all that clapping, all that splashing, all that booming.
It was Dumbledore. He stood there in the rain, wearing a purple robe. His once beautiful platine beard and hair were now a slimy grey. He was socked wet. His blue eyes could barely be seing behing his half-moon spectacles as drops of rain ran through the glass.
A few feet behind him, the Headmaster McGonagall was supporting the Divination Teacher, Professor Trelawney, who seemed ready to faint at any moment. She kept reapeating senseless things.
"Wrong paths, wrong choices. Even the beings beyond were lost. What he needs, he can't have. What we need, he can't give. Truth or lie it doesn't matter anymore, what once was, it will be once more. It'll last forever, or it will end whichever..."
For a moment it semmed that all had stopped. No more clapping, splasing, booming. No more thunder, the strengh of the rain dimmed and no longer were the lightnings hitting the ground.
But that only last a moment.
*************************************************************************
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
I could be fake
I could be stupid
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were standing beside me
Your were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
I could be cold
I could be ruthless
You know I could be just like you
I could be weak
I could be senseless
You know I could be just like you
You thought you were standing beside me
Your were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
On my own, cause I can't take liven with you
I'm alone, so I won't turn out like you
Want me to
You thought you were standing beside me
Your were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
You thought you were there to guide me
You were only in my way
You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you
I could be mean
I could be angry
You know I could be just like you
*************************************************************************
Harry echoed a war cry...full of anguishing emotions...loath and pain.
The weather followed Harry's cry, showing no mercy ...The clapping, splashing and booming were back again...
Lightbolts came straight out of Harry's hand, croosing the distance between him and the former Headmaster, who, when hit by the poweful attack was tossed on the air before rolling on the muddy grass.
Hogwarts' students gasped at this. Did their professor just attack their former Headmaster?
Dumbledore was slowly geeting up when Harry sent another wave of lightbolts on him.
Hogwarts' staff couldn't believe their eyes? Was that really happening? Was Harry really attacking Albus?
The flying Harry dived like he was doing one of his crazy Quidditch maneuver, only he had no broom and the golden snitch was not his aim. Dumbledore was. And from the look of his face the audiance knew that this catch would only be the beginning of the game.
Landing, Harry grabbed the old wizard by the neck, raising him in the air like he weights nothing.
The Order's trainees were in shock. They didn't know what to do. Their leader seemed ready to murder -- well, their other leader and they had no idea why. They had no idea if they should help him or stop him.
They did nothing. No one did anything. Too scared to make a move.
"Where is she?" asked Harry, as he eyed Dumbledore with disgust.
"I don't know," was Dumbledore's answer, which came sofltly and calmly like nothing was happening, like nothing was about to happen.
Harry's aura glowed, sending through the hand on Dumbledore's neck an eletrical discharge of magical energy that made the old wizard convulse in his grasp.
Another discharge, than other....
In the middle of all that darkness, the students could see the image of Dumbledore like they were seeing his x-ray...
They cried in fear...they screamed in terror..
"Mr. Potter, STOP!" McGonagall step foward, leaving Trelawney in the care of Madam Pomfrey. "What do you think you are doing? You are scaring the students. Your students, Mr. Potter."
For a moment Harry stopped, turning his head around and eyeing his students. But his eyes had no sign of emotion towards them...they weren't the same emerald ones that shined during his classes when he teached them something new or told them some of his adventures against the dark forces using the same spells they were learning in class. It was not the same which watched them with concern when they get down because of a Patrounus they had to cast for an exam or with pride when they were able to perform for the first time a new defensive spell. No, his students couldn't recognize their teacher in those eyes. All they saw was a jade glow...and there was nothing behind that glow. It was simply empty.
With one last discharge he tossed Dumbledore away like he was just nothing more than trash. He then turned and faced McGonagall. "Stay away from this, professor. He doesn't deserve your compassion nor your love. Not after what he did."
"I did what I have to, Harry," said Dumbledore getting up. The old Wizard seemed so much older than usual. He was breathing with a certain difficulty. Minerva ran to help him but he streched his arm stopping her. He took off his glasses and looked into Harry's eyes. And then his own blue eyes twinkled. "You know I did the right thing."
Harry clenched his fists, fuming.
"How can you say that, you bastard?"
He punched Dumbledore right on the face. Dumbledore fall back on the mud.
"You destroyed my family!" Harry grabbed him by the collar and punched him again. And again.
The audiance still in shock winced at every punch. The kids kept crying.
But Harry would not stop. He kept punching the old wizard.
"You took away from me all that I loved."
Slowly the jade glow covering Harry's eyes began to fade...One puch, two punches, three punches and his eyes were emerald again...It was like he was letting a bit of all his loath, all the hate he felt for that man in each of that punches....He kept punching him...but now tears were welling up in his eyes...
"You took away my life."
Six punches and seven more...
"I could be the world's greatest hero but you - you were my hero, my mentor… I trusted you… I trusted you with my life. And you betrayed me? How could you do this to me, to her? Oh God, how could you do this to him?"
And here he brokedown, releasing the teacher as he fell, his knees hitting the ground, his hands drowning in the muddy grass...
"I am sorry, Harry," Dumbledore too was in his knees, as he said, with broken voice, "I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through... I know I did unspeakable things. I am not pround of what I did...But you got to understand--"
Harry cut him off, his tears stopped as he glared at the old wizard. "Don't you dare ask me to understand. Don't you dare ask me for forgiveness," he hissed.
Dumbledore sighed. "I'm tired, Harry. I'm very tired. I'm just trying to make for my mistakes. I just want to rest in peace."
Harry chuckled sadly. "It's funny, isn't it? Now, you want to die. And to think that you thirsty for power and immortality began all of this...."
"I was young, Harry and when we are young--"
"Don't. I warned you. Don't ask me to understand. You were young, right. Look, around you, professor. These students are all young but none of them released a Guardian crazy for revenge because of that. You freed Nagini because you were no better than Tom. And that's why he feared you. Because he knew you were just like him. The scum of mankind."
"You are not being fair, Harry."
"Fair? Do you want to discuss about fairness now? When did you stopped to be fair with me? Heaven's above, you even said you loved me once."
"I do love you, Harry."
"SHUT UP." A thunder echoed. "I don't want to here any of this. I'm not going to lose my time with you anymore. I was really keen on killing you but you don't even deserve to die....I'm not going to reward you for what you did...I just need to find Hermione and get off here."
"You can't do this, Harry. You got to listen to me."
"No. I don't. Screw you. Screw you all."
The abnormal glow was back into his eyes. He floated in the air. Ciclones descended from the sky. Lightinings sliding, destroying everything on their way.
"No. Harry. Stop. Yes, I made a mistake. A huge one. And for that I've paid a great price. I am now only but a shadow of what I once were. I don't expect you to forgive me or to bless me with what was taken from me," Dumbledore yelled, his hat flying away...
The students tried to run but found their feet were fettered to the ground...No. It was the ground that was dragging them, like quicksand.
"Harry, this is nosense....stop acting like an angry and hurt child and act like you must. Stop crying for what we took from you. These things you claim to have lost were not even yours in the first place. Stop fighting your own destiny, stop fighting yourself."
Everything came to a halt once more. But it wasn't Dubledore's words that made Harry stop. Harry was not even listening to the old wizard's words anymore. He was listening someone's crying. He was listening her crying.
Hermione?
His eyes held a soft look once more. He stepped back on earth. His aura vanished...letting everybody lost in a pool of darkness. The Hogwart's crew couldn't see him anymore.
Hermione...Oh, love. Where are you? I've been trying to...
He tried to sense her, to go to her...but he couldn't. It was like there was a barrier pushing him...stopping him. It was her. She was blocking him.
Forgive me, Harry...
Her words echoed in his mind between her tears. He was confused.
Forg - Hermione, what is-No. No, you don't. Don't!
He was hit by a wave of utter despair. He had to stop her. Had to - But it was too late.
VOLDEMORT
"HERMIONE!!! DON'T!!!"
*************************************************************************
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts