Lying to Ourselves
Disclaimer: All canon Harry Potter is not mine, but the plot of this fan fiction is!
A/N: This story will be canon except I am choosing to ignore that horrible (and I am being kind with so weak of a word) epilogue. This idea has been in my head for a while, and I thought it would be a good way to shake up the H/G, R/Hr ships. Hope you enjoy. Please review if you do! (or don't ;) )
Chapter 1 - Painful Memories
Hermione sat at her desk, which was covered in various stacks of neatly organized papers, deep in thought. She enjoyed her work as at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but it certainly kept her busy. She chewed the end of quill, as she read through a series of documents on reported cases of prejudice towards werewolves. At the moment she was busy promoting further acceptance and rights for those so unfortunate as to have be bitten by a werewolf, like her departed former professor and Order member, Remus Lupin. Things had gotten slightly better after his heroic death in the final battle at Hogwarts, but things were still not the way they should be. There would always be people with deeply ingrained prejudices went out of their way to be refuse be horrible towards groups like werewolves and house elves.
A loud knock on her office door caused her to jump and the papers in her hands and several items on her desk to go flying. She yelped as the rather warm mug of coffee sitting on her desk sloshed all over lap. Thankfully, a quick drying charm fixed the situation.
"Come in," she said her tone laced with irritation. The door swung open, and rather than one of her co-workers coming to see her, it was her boyfriend Ron. She stood up, frowning in concern as she noted the expression on his face. It made her very uneasy.
"Ron, is everything okay? You rarely have a spare moment to pop by to see me during the day. Did something happen?" she queried, nervously chewing her lip. Her brown eyes darkened in concern.
"I'm fine, Hermione. It's just, we something's happened to Harry," he said, managing to keep a steady voice. Hermione inhaled sharply, her eyes widening. Her hand gripped the back of her chair.
Ron took a deep breath before answering her.
"Harry, I, and a couple other Aurors were out tracking down some ex-Death Eater's. They managed to take us by surprise and one his him with some sort of wonky spell. He wasn't hurt exactly, but it seemed to be some kind of memory charm. The Healer's assure that he'll regain his memory in time, but they can be certain how long it will take."
"What?? Oh, Ron, are you certain that he'll be okay?" she whispered, the worry she was feeling made her heart ache as if it was being squeezed by some invisible fist that refused to let go. Harry was her best friend, and he'd been through so much. They all had in the years after Voldemort's return. It pained her that Harry had to deal with yet more hardship in his life.
"I wish I could tell you yes, but until they figure out what spell he got hit with for sure, than I can't tell you yes," Ron replied sadly, balling his hands into fists as a wave of anger rolled over him. He hated how helpless he was to do anything for his best friend.
Hermione blinked back the tears that had welled up in her eyes. One slid down her face, leaving behind a red trail.
"Have you seen him yet, Ron?" she asked, her voice choked with tears.
"Yeah, they let me see him as so as they made sure he had no other serious injuries. They're going to keep him at St. Mungo's for more tests and other rubbish. He, um, he…well, he had no idea who I was when I saw him Hermione," Ron replied, his voice cracking slightly as he told her the last bit.
"Um, Ginny, how is she holding up? I assume you've told her."
Ron sighed wearily. He glanced down at the floor, willing himself to keep his emotions in check.
"Yeah, I have. She's with him now actually. When she came into see him, he just stared at her with these vacant eyes. It was just heartbreaking. It really cut her up."
Hermione nodded sympathetically, wondering how she'd feel when Harry saw her and didn't recognize her.
Slowly she walked over and slid her arms around him. "It will be okay, Ron. I can feel it. Harry always gets himself into foul situations like this, but he always makes it. I don't know how he does it sometimes, but something just tells me he'll overcome this too."
Ron patted her on the back and awkwardly pulled away after a few moments.
"Do you think you could get permission to leave for a bit and see Harry. The Healer said that seeing the faces of people he cares about might help, even if he doesn't recognize them at this point," Ron told her after a moment of silence.
"Oh, of course I can come. My boss will understand, and if he doesn't, than I really don't care," she answered immediately.
Ron watched as she scurried around her office, throwing some things into suitcase, while using a spell to neatly stack the various documents strewn about the room into neat piles upon her desk. In her haste she knocked over several things that she had just picked up. Ron had not seen her this flustered since, well, maybe when she was waiting for her O.W.L.s to arrive at the Burrow the summer before Sixth Year.
"Okay, let's go," she said after a few minutes, her briefcase firmly clutched in her hand.
She followed Ron out and locked her office door behind them. She and Ron Apparated together to the street magically concealed St. Mungo's was on. They approached the store front full of ugly mannequins that she remembered from the time when they had all gone to visit Mr. Weasley after he had been attacked by the snake.
Ron informed the mannequin of their reason for visiting and then stepped through the glass.
Hermione followed him, realizing they were going to the floor on which they had seen Gilderoy Lockhart, whose mind had been damaged by Ron's broken wand their Third Year.
Unlike Ron's father had, Harry had gotten his own room. There were three chairs in the hallway just outside the door of Harry's room. Hermione was surprised to see Ginny seated outside in one of them. Her boyfriend's redheaded sister was slumped over, her face buried in her hands. Hermione felt her stomach twist nervously.
"Hi, Ginny," she said softly as she and Ron approached her.
Ginny looked up slowly, her eyes red, though she wasn't crying now she clearly had been earlier. It was like Ginny to maintain the façade of bravery despite what emotions she might be struggling with on the inside.
"Anything new, Ginny?" Ron asked, patting her on the back as he took a seat next to her. She shook her head, her long ginger hair swishing as she did. She smiled but it was clearly forced. Her smiling lips contrasted eerily with her cheerless eyes.
"Are you sure Gin, why aren't you in there? Are the Healers taking a look at him again?" Ron peaked around the corner and found, in answer to his own question, that the room was empty. He blinked in surprise.
Ginny looked up guiltily.
"I know, I'm an awful girlfriend, but I just couldn't take it anymore. It hurt so much. He is talking to me like he has never met me before in his life. It's just too painful," Ginny cried her mouth quivering as she spoke.
Hermione stood watching in silence, feeling oddly unmoved by Ginny's reasoning. No matter how much it hurt, now was not the time to be selfish and self-centered. She didn't share any of this with Ginny though, especially not with Ron around. And the waiting was killing her. She knew Harry wouldn't recognize her if he hadn't even know Ron or Ginny, but she wanted to at least get it over with because it would be a painful experience all the same.
"So, has Ron filled you in on everything?" Ginny asked suddenly, turning shifting her gaze to Hermione as if noticing that her brother's girlfriend was there just at that moment.
"Oh, um yes, yes he has. It's dreadful," Hermione replied, slightly caught off guard and trying to keep herself from getting as worked up as she had upon initially hearing the news about Harry.
"Well, you're awfully calm about this. Harry considers you one of his best friends after all," sniffed Ginny, looking slightly hurt by what she interpreted as coldness on Hermione's part.
"Ginny," Ron said in a warning tone. Ginny flashed him a glance of irritation but sighed resignedly.
"I'm sorry, Hermione. This has just been a really long day. You understand." Hermione nodded impassively.
"Well, Hermione. Do you want to go in and see him now?" Ron asked, rising from his seat.
"Yes, I'm ready," she said weakly.
"I'll come in with you two, for moral support you know," Ginny announced, shooting up from her seat like a jack-in-the-box.
Ron shot Hermione a look of confusion but shrugged and took her hand as they entered Harry's room. He was awake and was staring up at the dull white ceiling. He sat up slightly in bed at the sound of people entering the room.
Hermione clasped Ron's hand tightly in her own as Harry's gaze traveled over the three of them. As his green eyes scanned the faces of Ginny and Ron she saw the vacant look in them that Ron had described to her. She braced herself as his eyes moved hers. Their eyes locked and her heart felt as though it had stopped for a moment.
He blinked and his eyes seemed to twinkle for a moment.
"Hermione?" he whispered. Hermione felt her knees buckled slightly and Ron put a steadying arm around her waist.
"Harry, Harry…you remember me," she whispered.
"Of course I do, Hermione. I love you," he said, sounding very much like Hermione did at school when telling them things they should have known from Hogwarts a History.
"Bloody hell," muttered Ron.
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