Author's Note: So, I have a new chapter finished at last. I apologize for taking so long to update, but I have been busy but also searching for a beta reader, which proved to be far harder than I thought. I think I may have finally found one, but we'll see. I edited this chapter myself, so I apologize for any mistakes but I think I did better than usual sans beta ;) I wanted to not waste anymore time about getting it up. Hope you guys enjoy it! Happy Easter! And Happy Passover! (Whatever you celebrate or don't, enjoy the weekend)
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, not mine, since I'm not JK Rowling, clearly. Just having some fun with the characters from her work!
Chapter 8 - If I Loved You
Hermione felt utterly paralyzed for a moment, her limbs unwilling to move, her lips unable to impart any sensible words or thoughts to Ron and Ginny, sitting there, one looking at her expectantly, the other regarding her suspiciously.
She blinked rapidly, her heart thumping wildly against her chest, her throat felt as though it were closing. She had never had a panic attack, but she supposed that this was something akin to what one felt like.
"Hermione? What'll it be? Are you going to help Harry out or not?" Ron pressed, clearly growing impatient. He looked woefully at his now cold toast, his frown growing deeper. Letting good food go to waste was quite the tragedy in Ron's opinion.
Hermione took a sip of the tea that Ron had brought her when she first got there; it was still quite hot and burned like liquid fire as it slid down her throat. At least this assault on her senses managed to snap her out of her stupor quite effectively. As she set the cup back in the saucer her violently shaking hands caused it to rattle noisily and tea to slosh on the table and her hand. She cursed softly under her breath as she hastily wiped off her hand.
"Well, the thing is Ron, I'm rather busy during the week, you know how much I'm at work, and I know that I won't be able to keep an eye on Harry like I'll need to. I understand that the doctor wants him with someone he remembers, but I really don't think he should be with me," she blurted out at last, rather proud of herself for managing to put together several coherent sentences, even if she had only managed to come up with a very week excuse at best. She shifted uneasily in her chair.
Ron's ears turned very red, a clear sign that he was annoyed, and Ginny just gaped at her in open-mouth surprise. Clearly she had been expecting Hermione to say something more along the lines of 'Sure he can stay with me; I'll even share my bed with him.'
"Hermione, I can't bloody believe you. I thought you cared about Harry! Do you want him to go completely mental? He might if he has to stay with a stranger like me or Ginny! 'Sides he's not a child. You don't have to bloody babysit him all day," Ron snapped, as the rest of his face turning the same bright cherry shade of his ears.
Hermione felt a wave of guilt and anger wave over her. Ron just always had to be overdramatic didn't he? If only Ron knew just how much she really cared for Harry, he wouldn't be pushing the matter; he would be doing anything his power to get Harry to stay far, far away from her.
"Oh, Ron, leave her alone. It's not as if he's her boyfriend. He really should stay with me, like I've been saying all along," Ginny told him in a decided, if not victorious tone, chiming in at last.
He stood up, towering over his younger sister by quite a few inches. "Ginny, I went over this with you already. It's a dreadful idea and you bloody know it. How thick can you get? Merlin, have you all gone nutters on me? Going to your flat, which I know littered with pictures of you two snogging and such is the daftest idea. I really don't think the doctor would go for it."
Ginny, who usually lived to defy her brother, looked surprisingly mollified.
"Fine, Ronald. He can stay with you then."
He rolled his eyes at her. "You didn't listen to a bloody word I said Ginny! How thick can you get?"
She shot him a withering glance, but didn't respond immediately.
Before Ginny could, Hermione cleared her throat loudly and took a deep breath. What was the point? Harry would just have to stay with her. She frowned in annoyance as her heart lurched with nerves, but also what she knew to be excitement.
"Oh put a sock in it, the both of you! He can just stay with me okay?" The Weasleys stopped arguing and looked over at her in surprise. She quickly suppressed the twinge of guilt though.
She stood up, cleared her throat noisily, and put on her coat with a decided air. "I really have to be off to work, and I'm sure that you and Ginny do as well."
"Oh, well okay," was all Ron managed, still looking rather confused.
Ginny looked unhappy about the final decision but didn't say a word in protest managing to keep any mean spirited comments to herself this once.
Hermione, having collected her things, headed for the door. "Just let me know before you bring him by okay?" she said to Ron letting the door slam begin her.
The cold morning air felt incredibly refreshing. It was going to be a long day to be sure.
That night Hermione lay on her couch in her nightgown, trying to focus the new book she just bought on her way home from work. Stopping in her favorite bookshop and browsing was always way a good way to clear her mind. She had been waiting for a call or message from Ron to let her know when he would be there with Harry, but she hadn't heard a word since that morning.
She let out a sigh of irritation and put her book down on a nearby table where it settled with a loud thump. Her eyes were sore from looking at paperwork all day and her nerves felt quite raw. Moving over onto her side she adjusted herself into a more comfortable position among the cushions. Soon she felt her eyelids closing and didn't have the energy to fight them, feeling her body drift off to sleep.
Several hours later a loud knock on her door jarred her awake. Sluggish from sleep and extremely annoyed, she made her way for the door. Whoever it was better have a bloody good reason for waking her up so late or they would be getting a rather large piece of her mind.
She carefully opened the door, erring on the side of caution despite her sluggish state, her fingers curling instinctively around wand. To her surprise and relief it was Ron and Harry. She had almost forgotten what she had been waiting up for in the first place. Her eyes met Ron's and then her gaze shifted slowly over to meet Harry's. He had his usual effect on her and she felt her heart drop into her stomach. She was suddenly keenly aware of how little her nightgown was covering and self-consciously crossed her arms over her chest.
The two came in, and Ron looked at her a bit sheepishly.
"Sorry we came so late, clearly you didn't know we would be coming," he frowned slightly as he seemed to have noticed for the first time what she was wearing at the moment. Blushing furiously Hermione hugged her arms closer to herself. "Anyway, they took forever about letting him out. They made him look through piles and piles of paperwork and then for security reasons they wanted us to leave late at night. It was bloody ridiculous. But here he is all yours." He gave Harry a rather hardy slap on the shoulder. Ron's words made Hermione's heart give a little lurch.
Harry didn't seem to notice Ron's gesture; he gaze was rather disconcertingly fixed on Hermione. She shifted her weight uncomfortably between her feet, looking down at her brightly polished toes.
"Thanks, Ron. It's fine. Glad you both got here safely," she told him. "You can be off. I'll get Harry settled. You're probably both exhausted."
Ron yawned in agreement.
"Yeah, I'll be off. Keep me updated, Hermione. I'll be by tomorrow to see how you two are getting on."
He left and she heard the pop of him Apparating not long after to the door closed behind him.
She was alone with Harry. Of course she had been many times in her life, but it had never felt like this before. Before they had been just friends, now she wasn't sure what they were. He gave her one of his endearing crooked little smiles that she hadn't seen in years and she felt herself relax slightly. It was ridiculous to be absolutely ridiculous to be nervous around Harry.
"How are you Harry? Glad to be out of St.Mungo's I bet?" she said unable to think of anything more than some inane small talk.
He laughed. "Glad doesn't begin to cover it. Don't know what they were feeding me, but I'm certain it wasn't food."
He quickly made himself at home and sat down on her couch and she sat next to him careful to keep a safe distance between them. She trusted Harry completely but certainly not her own mutinous body. Desperately she hoped Harry didn't sense her inner turmoil. For Merlin's sake she was practically panting like a dog over him.
"Want me to show you the guest room? I got it all ready for you; I bet you're just bushed."
"What I'm not going to be sharing your room with you?" Harry asked in innocent tone, but the corners of his mouth twitched with the smile that threatened to creep onto his lips.
She slapped him lightly on the shoulder; doing her best to look completely scandalized and laughed, feeling more relaxed at once.
"Well, now you're quite delirious Mr. Potter, maybe you should still be at St. Mungo's."
"Hey! I'll be a good little lad I promise," he replied, getting up from the couch surprisingly fast considering his long, lanky frame.
"Well, follow me!" Hermione made her way down the familiar hallway of her flat and opened the door to the room she had set up for Harry. There was a narrow bed with a small table by it and a desk that had a couple of plants on it, but not much else. She didn't often have guests really and hadn't put much effort into her guest room.
Harry followed her in. "Thanks Hermione, I really appreciate this."
She smiled, "Oh, it's the least I can do Harry."
He gently stroked her face with the tips of his fingers and tenderly kissed her on the forehead, sending a flood of heat through her body.
"Good night Harry," she choked, quite certain that the bones were quite gone from her legs as she attempted to leave the room.
In the hallway she sighed heavily and leaned against the wall for a moment. This wasn't going to be easy.