Unreal
Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm in this type of situation.
I never thought I'd be the person someone lavished such affection on. I never thought I'd be in these
shoes.
Who knew I'd basically be the thing someone's world seemed to revolve around?
Who knew someone could desire--yearn--for my presence the way he does?
It's…unimaginable. Unbelievable.
Completely extraordinary.
Our relationship is so…simple.
It's quite ridiculous really. No one else really understands how we don't really fight. We haven't even had our first "lover's quarrel" and we've been together for quite a long time. We're so alike and similarly on so many things…there isn't much to debate about.
Everyone calls him "whipped."
He admits to it proudly with a wide grin on his face.
The boy has no shame, honestly!
I know he'd do anything I asked of him. It's absolutely scary mad how I have that sort of power over him. (I don't take advantage of it by the way.) And why? What's so great about me?
I don't understand it.
I can't comprehend it.
How do you have such feelings for someone? How did we even come together?
Relationships were always something I had difficulty understanding. I mean…it takes the effort of two people. How do those two people meet? What if you never find someone who feels that way about you? What if you wait forever, hoping someone would think you were cute enough, smart enough, funny enough to be a potential a girlfriend? What if you're just not good enough? I never had a boyfriend before. I always thought I fit in that category. I always thought I would be the one living alone when I'm forty with seventeen cats. I always thought I'd hate Valentine's Day for the rest of my life. What's so good about a lovey-dovey holiday when you don't have anyone to share it with?
This year, I realized why people love Valentine's Day so much.
Ever since we started this "thing" between us, I became accustomed to putting in effort to look good for someone. Then I realized I looked good enough without trying to look good.
I realized he thought I looked adorable in baggy sweats and his oversized hoody.
This relationship has opened my eyes to so many new thoughts, feelings, and desires. I've spent many nights laying awake in my bed, fighting the sleep I know I need, just so I can keep thinking about him. About us. Our relationship has tested my boundaries and morals. It's changed my ways of thinking on a lot of things: life, love, sex, dreams, youth, the world. The list goes on.
Sometimes I get afraid though. Sometimes I feel things are just too good. Things are just too simple. Things are just too beautiful and fantastic and amazing and blissful and all those other words that can describe how over-the-top happy I am. It feels like a really wonderful dream. This incredible feeling will surely go away once I wake up.
But I don't think about that too often. I focus on the positive. I have so much…why worry about it ending?
It's something we hate talking about. Ending this. We both decided there are only a few different reasons why it would be over between us. I said if he ever cheated on me, or hit me, it'd be over. He said if I ever cheated on him, it'd be over as well.
Nothing else comes to mind.
Neither of us are the cheating type. Does that mean we'll be together forever? God knows we've talked about it. He's sure we're going to get married. He's planned our future out. I like what he sees. But at the same time, do I only want to experience one relationship in my life? Who meets their soul mate when they're eleven years old? Aren't we supposed to go through different experiences? Shouldn't I know what it's like to have a broken heart after a great relationship?
I want to know the feeling. I want to experience it. But at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want to if it means I have to give him up. I see how hard it is for people in movies and people around me…when I think about it, sometimes I think it wouldn't be so hard.
So we'd be done.
Over.
No more hugs and kisses and late night talking and no more best friend.
I could move on, right?
People do everyday.
But…
Can I really?
Great Wizards, it almost sounds so easy…but I know it'd kill me.
And it'd kill him too.
I almost want to experience it just to find out about myself. What sort of ex-girlfriend would I be? Would I stalk him? Would I get jealous when I see him with other girls? Would I try to get back with him?
And I also want to see what sort of ex-boyfriend he would be. Would we still be best friends? Would he follow me everywhere, relentless, and try to work things out?
Most of me hopes I never have to find out.
Part of me is curious though.
And that scares me.
I'm too content to worry about this. I shouldn't think about breaking up. I like how I feel now. I love the security and love and all the cutesy things he does for me.
Because what we have is great.
The best.
It's changed both of us and made us better people in most aspects.
The envy I used to feel when listening to love songs and watching romance movies is all gone. Now the songs just make me smile while I my mind drifts to thoughts about him. The movies make me scoff.
What I have is so much better.
Hey guys! Well, I hope you liked it! I would like to post again tonight maybe, but I'm doing a research paper at the moment (this was a good distraction), so I dunno if I'll actually get to it. But I should at least have something soon though. Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcomed…liked…hell, I'm not gonna lie…I LOVE them!!!
Hehe.
*~Archie~*