Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot. The songs belong to Evanescence.
Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for their wonderful reviews! You guys are so awesome and
supportive!! Well, here's another chapter for you, nice and long, I hope you enjoy it. Only the Epilogue is left
and this story is done. ::cries:: I've enjoyed writing it so much and I'm sad its coming to an end.
Oh, I wanted to bring another point up. I feel really dumb about the mistake I made last chapter and I thank
GoddessDiana for mentioning this. I wrote about how the knife was the cause of all of Ginny's
problems and was the reason she cut herself. I thought this over in my head when writing it and I realize now what I
meant and how I wrote it are very different. I did NOT mean the knife caused everything, I actually meant it was the
cause of her further problems. The knife had caused her to want to cut herself more, making her need it more. I
didn't mean to imply that it caused her problems from the very beginning and I'm sorry I wrote it that way. The
knife caused her the problem of wanting to cut more and thus, feeling even more pain. Thanks again for informing me of
that mistake!
Now, I'll let you continue on. Please review!!
Much love,
PhoenixFirebolt
Draco sat in the waiting area at St. Mungo's, his head in his hands, going over how everything had gone so wrong. In his mind, everything that had happened to Ginny that summer was his fault. He was the reason she was lying in the hospital bed right now, in a coma and barely hanging on to life. He was the reason she felt like taking her own life once again. Draco felt nothing but hatred toward himself for doing this to Ginny, hatred at himself, and his father. Draco clenched the loose strands of his silver blond hair in his fists in anger, anger that was seeping from him at Lucius Malfoy.
Lucius was the reason Draco had been away from Ginny for so long. His hatred for the Weasley family and the fact that his only son had fallen in love with the youngest child had caused him to release all that anger on Draco. Draco shuddered involuntary, remembering the horror he had gone through for the past few months, the constant beatings and yelling; all the painful curses he was forced to endure as his payment; being locked in a tiny, dungeon like room with barely any food. Whenever he had been out of that room, his father had haunted his steps, watching his every move. Whenever Draco managed to break free for a while, he tried to write letters to Ginny, explaining why he was never around for her. Unknown to him, his father had intercepted every single letter and had destroyed them.
But all of this had not been the worst. Draco's worst moment of the summer came in the middle of a warm evening in July. Lucius had come barging into Draco's room a few hours after making his son be subjected to the Cruciatus Curse after coming across another letter to Ginny. Narcissa Malfoy had been with Draco in the room, attending to his bruises, and both had looked up in shock at the anger in Lucius' face. Narcissa had shrunk away in fear immediately.
*Flashback*
"Out, you damn woman, out!" Lucius yelled viciously at Narcissa while grabbing her arm tightly and throwing her from the room before slamming the door shut. He rounded on Draco and stalked toward him.
"You, boy. It seems that the Dark Lord has taken an interest in you. Can't really see why now that I realize what I pathetic and useless son I have raised," he drawled softly while Draco glared back at him in disgust. "Besides that point though, he still has an interest in you. You are to become a Death-Eater and help in the Dark Lord's plans against the Light side. He seems to have great plans for you. And you will obey his orders!"
Draco's eyes went wide in horror. He absolutely despised Voldemort and anything to do with him and his plans. He had no intentions in becoming a Death-Eater and following the ways of his foolish father. He was a firm supporter of Dumbledore and the Light side now. Draco simply sneered at his father. "You wish. The day I become a Death-Eater is the day Dumbledore and Harry Potter do."
Lucius snarled and grabbed Draco by the collar, lifting him off the bed. "Stupid, idiotic boy. What the hell have I raised? I foolish follower of Dumbledore now!? Well well, this makes everything very interesting now. I'm sure the Dark Lord will love to hear this, probably will want a personal meeting with you himself. And how the bloody hell does this make me look?! My own son, a Malfoy, the carrier of my great line, acting like a damn Gryffindor and supporting the Light? Who do you think you are to go against me and the Dark Lord? No one, goes against the Dark Lord without consequences, Potter knows that better than anyone. You will be a Death-Eater or you will die, and I tell you now, you will not be missed!" Lucius threw him back down and Draco stumbled on his legs, still shaky from the Curse.
Draco lifted his head, his eyes flashing a menacing silver but also determination among them. "Then I will die! You are a weak fool to believe whatever that crackpot Lord says. He will fall and you will go with him, father. And I will laugh at you. I'll never understand why they let you out of Azkaban, God only knows how much you deserve it."
Lucius cursed and aimed a hard kick in Draco's ribs which left him gasping for breath but the determination and hatred toward his father never left his eyes. Lucius then bent down and whispered menacingly in his ear, "You will pay for that. Its time a taught you a few more lessons. You enjoyed last time didn't you? I think you may be ready for a bit more." He grabbed Draco's arm roughly and yanked him up from the floor. "Time to visit the dungeons once more," he mocked cruelly.
Despite being able to hide his emotions so well, Draco couldn't help have a small shiver of fear. Lucius noticed this as he dragged Draco from the room and he laughed bitterly. "Oh, you'll fear me more than that by the time I'm finished with you." Narcissa sobbed in fear as she watched her beloved son get taken away by her unloving husband. She could do nothing though, her powers non-existent whenever Lucius was near her. He sneered at her as he passed her in the hall and Narcissa shrank back into the shadows, Draco pleading with her silently, his eyes filled with pity and hurt. Unable to do anything, she ran in the opposite direction, sobbing even more.
And all through the night, the house-elves crept through the shadows, cringing every time another terrible scream of agony tore through the house.
*End Flashback*
Draco shivered once more, remembering the excruciating pain he had endured that night. Miraculously, he had somehow survived that night and he was never brought before Voldemort. His father had disappeared for a while though he somehow always made it back for a night a week to torture Draco some more. Last night, Draco had finally discovered that every one of his letters to Ginny had been destroyed and a panic had filled him. Barely even thinking, he had grabbed his Firebolt and his Invisibility cloak and disappeared from the house, thankful Lucius was gone once again. Flying as fast as possible to Ginny's house, horrible thoughts raced through his head and he prayed he was wrong.
But his instincts were right and now Ginny was close to death. The Weasley's had gone into a frantic when he had run screaming into their house. Immediately Mr. Weasley had grabbed Ginny from his arms and Apparated her to St. Mungo's. Mrs. Weasley, tears racing from her eyes, somehow rounded up her other children and making a portkey out of an old boot, had transported all of them and Draco to the hospital as well. And now they were waiting for news.
Draco glanced up, breaking from his thoughts, and stared at all of Ginny's family members. Mr. Weasley was trying in vain to calm Mrs. Weasley, who was in hysterics. Percy was pacing the floor and muttering to himself. Fred and George were sitting in chairs across from Draco, who couldn't remember them ever looking so somber. Ron was standing by one of the windows, staring blankly at the slowly lighting sky, silent tears running down his face. Bill and Charlie were owled immediately and would most likely be showing up within the next hour.
Draco looked down at his hands again, not wanting to believe that what was happening was real. She can't die, she just can't, he argued in his mind. Draco refused to believe that Ginny was going to die. Yes, her blood lose was great but she would pull through, she would fight, he made himself believe this. Draco sighed deeply and Ron glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, his expression completely neutral. Draco ignored him though, having an internal battle with his mind.
She will live, he thought fiercely. How do you know that, a small voice answered him, she seems like she wants to die. Draco growled deep in his throat and blocked the voice out. Shut up, shut up, his thoughts screamed.
But doubt filled him. Did Ginny really want to die? Did she find her existence that useless? Did she believe herself that worthless? And as much as Draco tried to convince himself that Ginny would live, he knew deep down her chances were slim and she was slipping further and further into her coma with every passing minute.
Tears filling his eyes, Draco looked again at her family, wishing desperately to receive comfort from one of them. He had always put them down though and he knew the only reason he was there was because they were in too much shock to tell him to go away. He looked to Ron once more and for once, sadness filled him that they had never become friends. No one to talk to, he thought bitterly, except my damn mind.
Playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello I am your mind giving you someone to talk to
hello
One of the Healers suddenly appeared from the room Ginny was in and went to talk quietly to her parents. Mrs. Weasley broke down into more sobs upon hearing the young witch's words and Mr. Weasley held a strained look on his face before wrapping his arms tighter around his wife.
At that moment, Bill and Charlie came rushing down the corridor, with Harry and Hermione right behind them. The former rushed over to their parents while the latter went straight to Ron. "Oh Ron," Hermione sobbed before pulling him into a hug while Harry patted his back sympathetically. Harry glanced over at Draco and gave him a brief nod in recognition which Draco returned. Hermione let go of Ron and turned to look at Draco too, forcing a smile before helping a shaking Ron into a chair. "Thanks for coming you guys," Draco heard him whisper.
Draco tuned them out and returned to his thoughts. He barely got to focus on them though before he was interrupted once more. "Mr. Mal....Draco," Mr. Weasley spoke softly. Draco jumped and looked at him in surprise. Mr. Weasley cleared his throat. "Uh...I wanted to thank you.....for finding Ginny. The.....the Healers are trying everything they can and her chances are slim but.....if you hadn't found her there would be no chance." He smiled stiffly before continuing. "Um....if you want, they are allowing visitors and I think Ginny would want you to see her so.....you can go see her now for a few minutes."
Draco bit his lip, wondering if he wanted to see her, would he be able to handle himself? He slowly rose and returned a weak smile of his own. "Thank you, Mr. Weasley," he muttered before taking stumbling steps to the room. He was reeling from the events of the night and he almost passed out at the sight of Ginny. She was as white as the sheets she was lying on, her freckles stood out even more on her skin. Her bright red hair was a mess and stark against the pillow. Draco walked to the chair next to her bed and sat down heavily before grabbing her cold hand in his and rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. She was breathing so lightly and shallow that he had to watch her for a few minutes to make sure she actually was breathing.
"Oh why, Ginny, why?" he cried softly, a few tears escaping his eyes.
Draco had never felt so helpless. Here he was, staring at the love of his life who was barely alive, and he could nothing to save her. Yes, he had brought her from the forest but now all he could do was watch. This was all a nightmare to him, one long, horrible nightmare that he desperately wanted to wake from. This was too unreal to him, this wasn't suppose to happen. He had helped Ginny, she had stopped cutting herself, she loved him and wanted to live, so why had everything turned out like this? Why now had she given up?
Because I was never there, he thought, disgusted with himself and feeling sick with guilt.
All Draco wanted to do was lie to himself and just believe with all his heart that this was truly a dream. He wanted to crawl away into his mind and just hide and wait this out. He just wanted to stay asleep and wait until he was woken up to find Ginny there, laughing and smiling at him. He couldn't stand sitting here and just watching her, knowing she could die at any second. He willed his tears to stop, not wanting to cry for someone who would live.
"You will live," Draco whispered, clutching her hand and leaning forward to drop a kiss on her forehead.
If I smile and don't believe
soon I know I'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me I'm not broken
hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry
Draco continued to stare at Ginny's still form, listening to her breathing and trying to hear her heartbeat. And as he watched, something in Draco's mind suddenly snapped and a rush of reality hit him smack in the face. Draco reeled and let go of Ginny's hand, staring with wide-eyes as it fell limply on the bed.
No, this wasn't a dream, it was the terrible and harsh reality. There was no escaping the real nightmare this time. The memories of that night flooded his head; finding Ginny still and silent by the river; all the blood that ran from her wounds; the words she spoke to him and how many tears he had let loose. He remembered it all and Draco realized there was no waking up, he was awake and the pain just increased.
Draco gave in finally to the feeling and completely broke down. Silent sobs wracked his body and he cried into his hands. Ginny was leaving him and his heart was breaking in the process.
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
hello I'm still here
all that's left of yesterday
A hand came down gently on Draco's shoulder and he flinched, quickly supressing the sobs and wiping the tears from his face. He finally looked up at the intruder and saw Ron looking down at him, utter sadness in his blue eyes but also a hint of gratefulness. Draco stood up to face him and noticed how tired and worn Ron looked, like he had aged twenty years over night. Draco thought he had come to tell him to leave so he began to walk past him but Ron stopped him.
"Wait, Draco, I wanted to talk to you," he said quietly, looking down at the floor and then at his sleeping sister. He took a deep breath and quickly rushed out his words before he lost his nerves. "I wanted to thank you. If you hadn't found Ginny, there would be no hope for her at all. She means a lot to me and I feel so much guilt at ignoring how much pain she was in. Without you, she probably would've been dead months ago. So, thank you, for loving my sister and showing her life isn't so bad. I guess I misjudged you. So, truce?" Ron stuck his hand out to a gaping Draco.
Ron gave a small smile at Draco's reaction. "Come on Malfoy, I don't show this side of me often, better take my hand," he said jokingly.
Draco barely even considered before grasping Ron's hand in his own. "Thanks.....Ron," he muttered, almost embarrassed.
Ron nodded again and then said, "Now, not to be rude, but can I have some time alone with my sister?"
Draco nodded numbly before quickly going to Ginny, dropping another kiss on her forehead and whispering, "I'll be back later." Then he left the room, feeling slightly lighter at heart.
**************************
Months dragged on and Ginny was still not out of her coma. The Healers were still very worried about her surviving but her condition, they said, was slightly more stable. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went to visit Ginny every day, never giving up hope on their daughter. Her brothers visited frequently as well, though Ron's visits, along with Harry and Hermione's became less and less because all three were training to become Aurors and active members of the Order of the Phoenix. They were handling a lot at the moment.
Draco though, managed to see Ginny every day. He too, was training to become an Auror and was in the Order of the Phoenix. He had left the Malfoy Manor the day after Ginny's admittance into the hospital and was living on his own. With the help of Harry, he had managed to make his house unplottable and disguised himself whenever he went outside. His father, he knew, was looking for him with the intention of killing him, so Draco had to hide.
Christmas day, Draco walked down the white halls of St. Mungo's, his shoes clicking on the tiled floor and his mind a million miles away. He was thinking back to that time a year ago when he had saved Ginny in the Forbidden Forest. So much had happened since then but she was almost in the same situation as before. Draco sighed and his thoughts left him as he went into the now familiar room. Ginny hadn't changed in the long months, still deep in her coma and completely unaware of the sorrow she was causing so many people.
Draco set down the red and white roses he had brought for Ginny on one of the tables and glanced out the window at the beautiful thick falling snow. He had always loved the Christmas holidays but now it only held pain in his eyes, with Ginny still so far away.
He sat down in the chair by her bed and took her hand, closing his eyes briefly and sighing again. This wasn't right still, she was suppose to be awake and enjoying Christmas with him, not stuck here, still just hanging on to life.
Draco had been in a constant daze for these months, just living on autopilot and doing what was necessary of him. He threw himself into his work to get his mind off of Ginny lying almost dead in the hospital. He was now one of the most promising future Aurors but none of this made him feel better. All he wanted was for Ginny to wake up, look into his eyes once more and say she loved him. He needed her so desperately by his side he was going insane without her. It killed him to leave her here every night, never knowing if it would be the last time he would see her breathing.
Draco stared at Ginny, willing her to wake up but knowing it was useless. "Oh Gin, I need you to wake up so bad. I need you so much, you can't die on me. I don't know if I could go on living, I know I can never love another like you, you're my soulmate. And I wouldn't be the only one to miss you, your parents, your brothers, Harry, Hermione, the Order, Luna, Neville, Lavender, Parvati, the list goes on. All would miss and want you to come back so much. They've all been here, visiting you. I know you can hear us, please, just try to come back." He clenched her hand harder. "I love you Gin, do you hear me? I love you! Please, just come back to me so I can show that love even more."
There was no change in Ginny though and Draco felt a sudden pang of despair. He put his head down, blinking back tears. He felt exhausted, not having a proper nights sleep in a long time because of his many nightmares. He put his head down on the bed and whispered once more, "Come back to me." And before he could stop himself, he fell asleep.
*******************
Ginny felt like she was in a black hole. She could see absolutely nothing and she could find no way out. She struggled against the darkness, trying to push it away but it pushed back harder, keeping her in place, not allowing her to free herself.
"Let me out!" she screamed into the nothingness. No answer was made and Ginny felt fear and desperation. She didn't know how long she had been in this nothingness but she was beginning to give up hope of ever escaping it. She hated herself for doing what she had done, cutting herself once more and allowing herself to bleed. It hadn't been right but the need for it had been there at the time and now she only wished to turn back time.
That was impossible though and now Ginny was stuck in this darkness. There were moments when she heard voices, as if calling her, trying to bring her back, but she could barely hear them. She tried to follow them but they always faded before she could get too far and then she felt lost once more. Lost and alone, like always.
But then there were times when she didn't hear voices, but instead saw a thin shimmering line of silver that started where she was and extended beyond her vision in the blackness. She would begin to follow it and sometimes she saw a light and would start running toward it, but each time the line would suddenly be cut and would disappear. This happened so many times that Ginny eventually started ignoring the silver stream, curious but unwilling to follow it.
And now it had appeared again before her and Ginny just watched it, waiting for it to fade away. Surprise filled her when she saw it was remaining longer this time. A need to follow it again pulled at her and before she could stop herself, she started the journey of going with it once more. Very slowly, the light came into view and started to get larger and larger. Excitement filled her and she started running once more, anxious and praying it wouldn't disappear again. The line stayed strong though and the light became almost blinding. And as she ran through the light a small voice whispered in her head, You made it.
*********************
Ginny started awake, her eyes flashing open and she gasped for breath. The room she was in was dark and the only noise was of the wind blowing the snow around outside her window. She took in another shaky breath, hardly believing that she had finally escaped the darkness. She closed her eyes and a few tears trickled down her face from joy of having survived. She had made it!
Ginny's opened her eyes once more and started to look around the room when she noticed that someone was holding her hand. She looked down quickly and shock rippled through her body when she saw Draco, fast asleep with his head on her bed.
I thought, her mind reeled, that he left me. But as this thought came to her, that horrible night came flooding back to her and she remembered. She remembered Draco and how he had found her and saved her, once again. He always saves me, she thought, more tears coming to her eyes. Why did I ever doubt him and his love for me?
Ginny stared at him, love shining in her eyes, and gently ran a hand through his hair, brushing it away from his face. Draco stirred slightly at the touch but didn't wake, lost in his dreams. She smiled softly and shifted uncomfortably, still feeling tired and weak. But she now knew who was the light. It had been Draco. It was his love that was pulling on her every time and trying to lead her back home. He had finally succeeded and her gratitude toward him filled her.
If possible, she felt even more love toward him, not understanding how she deserved someone as special as him. He was perfect and absolutely wonderful, and he was all hers. I'm so blessed, she thought, why did I not see that before?
Ginny shook her head sadly, not believing she had almost given this up. She had almost left the one person that meant everything to her. Not only Draco though, she had almost left all of her family and friends. Another tear slid down her face. I never saw their love for me before until death almost took me. I will never take them for granted again. And Ginny knew what she thought was true. It was time to put all the horrors behind her and start her life anew, and she was ready.
"I'm ready to live finally," she whispered softly.
At her words, Draco stirred from his sleep and blinked his eyes in confusion, turning to look at a smiling Ginny. Shock was written all over his face and his jaw dropped open. Ginny giggled at his expression and grasped his hand tighter. "Well don't just look at me, silly, say something!"
Draco only managed incoherent stutters, barely believing that his dream had come true, that he would wake up to find Ginny alive and smiling.
"Oh my God," he finally choked out, not worrying even worrying about holding back the tears falling freely down his face, "Ginny!"
She smiled wider and Draco leapt up and pulled her into a fierce hug, afraid of letting her go and watching his dream slip away. Ginny hugged him back just as hard, burying her face in his neck, her own tears falling.
Draco pulled back and they both looked into each other's eyes, complete happiness and love reflected in them. Draco hesitated slightly before leaning forward and capturing Ginny's lips in a passionate kiss which he poured every ounce of his feelings into. All the love he felt for her went into their kiss and both were reluctant to break away. When they did, Draco smiled and gently wiped her tears away. "I love you, Ginny Weasley," he whispered softly.
"I love you too, Draco Malfoy," she whispered back before she leaned in for another kiss.
When they broke away once more, Ginny grabbed his face in her hands and looked at him seriously, wanting him to hear her next words and how much it meant for Draco to hear them.
"Thank you.........thank you for saving me."
*********************
Song: Hello by Evanescence