AN- Alrighty, confession time. First off, I have only been to one funeral in my life, and it was for a great aunt I never had met, never even heard about. I was young and didn't really understand or, indeed, pay attention. I might need to ask ProngsGurl on this one, I'm sure she's been to one for someone in her family or another that she wasn't very close to, (god, Prongs, you do have an extended family so don't you dare whack me over the head when you read this, it's not my fault!) anyways, confession two is that while I began writing this the day after I got my fifth review, which wasn't until three days later, I have no idea when it will be posted. It all depends on whether I make it into the new `gifted art's' program for artists or not. If I do, I may need to submit more drawings and forms, and… it's complicated. But if I don't I should have loads more free time, to both work on finishing my novel, (last chapter to type,) and work on my fanfiction! Anyways, I have some reviewers to thank, but at the moment I am working on the computer in my room, and that one doesn't have the Internet. I only remember my most recent reviews, and apologize if things seem a little out-of-order, but assure you all that if you do review me, I will thank you before continuing. Anyways, here it goes…
Sweetkiwi456- hey, that's such a cool name, `the butterfly tattoo,' weird that another book has it, so yeah I guess you're back to square one. Good luck on that, and if you give me the theme for your book I may be able to come up with something. I'm not sure. Anyways, e-mail me sometime, my address is on my author info. And thank you, yes, you were the smart one, and I know how it feels to feel smart. (Wink)
ProngsGurl- thanks you for treating my reviews as a serious matter and no longer using them as a form or e-mail. Also, I didn't mean to use his last name, and I didn't, not really, he's `Burgen', not `burden!' yes, I'm positive, I saw it on the inside of his notebook. Get up your courage and ask him to the dance, before I have to do it for you, (and you know how I can get about these particular things!) anyways, I'm serious, he ahs to got or I'm not dancing with my `Evans' and I stand firm on the subject. Anyways, this thank you is really long, so good luck with Megan, she seems quite the handful, it's not fair that you say your parents always have you watch her and Pat, but I guess there's not very mush you can do, huh?
Fire Gazer- Yeah, Snape really is a git, especially in my story, but I really can't help it, I hate the guy! And I know, I guess maybe it's a little too sad, his mum dying, but the Evans problem will soon be taken care of, and the mother problem… well, some things can't be fixed, (but Padfoot's gonna try in this one. Oops, I gave something away.) And I really can't make James suicidal, I don't think portkey would've allowed it, or he probably would be. That's just the way the things I write turn up, dark.
JayaMoineMafloy- hey, I never knew what delurking meant, thank you for that little lesson. (Delurking…lurking… oh, I'll be using those two words so much now… smile) And I still love that name! The last line of that chapter came from the back of my mind, and weird stuff can come up from back there, I'm tellin' you weird stuff! But in the end the dark part of my head is usually right. (Scary, huh?)
Wanting an update- I feel so special, you've reviewed me two times in a row! That's so cool. And also, I know in the end they get together, (as does everyone else reading Harry Potter, so I sound like an idiot here,) but James may be a little reluctant now to open up, and Lily doesn't want to admit her feelings towards him and risk their unstable friendship, and… I just hope you're the patient type.
Anonymous- The title of my, (our, ProngsGurl helped write it) novel, it's called Wolf Magick, and well, we really don't have a publisher yet, but we've written it out and will be sending it out this summer, and you have no idea how much your review gave me the encouragement I needed to finish it, I was on the last chapter until recently, so thank you, just for showing an understanding and an interest-
Disclaimer- "It's mine, all mine, I now own Harry Potter." No not really. Heaven forbid, I`d turn their world upside down, for one, Sirius would be alive, and-"
"We don't want to hear it anymore!"
"Yeah! This story is to focus on us, not you! Silencio!"
"Now back to the story about the handsome James Potter-"
"Careful, Prongs, you already have those infamous antlers, we wouldn't want your head getting any bigger!"
"Sod off Padfoot!"
(Sorry guys, I think those two cans of mountain dew, the first pop I've had in a while, is finally kicking in! caffeine!) Point behind this little skit is, I don't really own James, (at least not this one, there's one in our book, but they're different, that James is always trying to keep out of trouble but gets roped into it,) or Lily or Sirius. So no suing, I have no money. (Wow that was a long disclaimer!)
Sirius-
As rude as this is going to sound, I didn't even cry at the ceremony. Not because I wasn't saddened by James's mother's death, it was far from it! I was distraught. But dogs, thankfully, can't cry. So the most I did was whimper, and occasionally nudge James's limp hand with my cold wet nose to let him know I was there for him. He had a far-away look in his eyes, as though not really listening to a word said by each respectable speaker. Plus, he had that determined look in his hazel eyes, the one that said he was about to try his hardest to succeed in the impossible. I think this time it may have been avoiding tears, because he seemed almost calm the entire time. The only time I caught him in tears was when he went up to the casket to say goodbye. I didn't, first off because I couldn't in my animagus form, and secondly because I'm sure had I actually gain the courage to, upon peering into the casket, I would've lost any remaining strength. And James didn't need me crying all over him right now.
He spend only a moment up there, brushing a strand of amber hair from her face before returning to Sirius, and sitting down heavily on one of the many provided chairs. His face was a mask, but his eyes betrayed his emotions.
"The side of her head was scarred, but otherwise she looked like she was sleeping. Only something else was different. I think it may have been that she was actually resting this time. Before, as an auror, she was always a light sleeper, and always worried about something or another. I think now-" His voice broke upon saying this, but he continued all the same, trying to get out what he seemed to think he had to. "Now, she seems at peace. "
The burial was of everyone who had died at Hogsmade, not just Miss Harriet, and it made me highly annoyed that the event wasn't more personal. There were so many there, and in front of so many, it became apparent that James wasn't going to cry. It was somewhat more frustrating by the fact that I couldn't talk to him in my animagus form, so comforting him wasn't really an option in my case. "They are planning on holding a little individual ceremony later on, but I don't want to be there for it Padfoot, I just want back at Hogwarts, before-"
"James, that you?" A croaky woman's voice asked, and both James and myself turned to see the intruder. " Oh, sweetheart, some here." She gave James a rib-breaking hug and started sobbing on his shoulder. Well, what could the poor bloke do other then comfort her when he himself needed to be comforted. Seeming to hear my thoughts, the woman said, "Oh, now here you are comforting me, when I came to help you get through this. Simply awful, Harriet was a wonderful woman. But at least she went without pain or suffering, I saw it myself hun." James looked like he was about to punch the woman, and only being raised with such a rich family helped him to keep his dignity. I can remember being taught the same thing as a boy, even if my parents'…erm… taught the lesson a little differently. Anyways, James just gave her shoulder an awkward pet and stalked away, and I silently followed him.
"Quick death my- she's lying, I saw- I SAW HER GET HURT WITH MY OWN EYES! HONESTLY!" James looked closer to crying then I'd ever seen him, and I felt like crying myself. He had informed me the events leading up to his mother's death, the only one to get the full story out of him. I took in a shuddering breath, checked that no one was around when changed back into my animagus form, and walked with him onto the train.
" She wasn't wearing her locket. The one I got her for her birthday. She must have lost it somewhere during the battle, because she'd never leave home, let alone to got on a mission, without it. Some death eater probably has it somewhere." He whipped his eyes quickly on the back of his hand, bending down and pretending to tie his shoe. It hadn't been untied, and it was rather pointless. I noticed the tears anyways. If things kept going like this, James wouldn't ever recover.
Stupid trait of the dog. `Loyalty and friendship'. It's gotten me in so much trouble before now. Putting my head in my hands, I consider the possibilities of getting the locket back. I'd have to go back to the battlefield, search for Harriet's sent, and look for the silver metal despite the extremely slim odds of it being there. And I couldn't stop searching until I knew it was out of my reach. It would take endless hours of seeing blood, and provide a good chance of me getting caught. Great, just what I needed, a criminal record. Oh the things one does for friendship.
Lily-
James was actually at dinner that night. This time it was Sirius who was absent, which I thought was odd enough since James seemed to need some company right about now. Even his fan club had left him alone, at the moment unsure as to how to act around him. I pretty sure I had no idea how to act around him either. But he was just pushing his food around on his plate, and maybe it was guilt for beginning this, or possibly just sympathy, but I had to go and talk to him.
I don't think he even noticed me. Actually, I'm pretty sure he didn't even see my shadow, too caught up in his own thoughts to pay me any mind. And as selfish as this will sound, somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered a time when I had wished to god that Potter would no longer notice me. Now it seemed like it hurt to be ignored, and by James Potter of all people. How utterly ironic.
" Hey." I said it softly, but he still jumped about a foot in the air.
" Oh, Lily. Hey. How'd the room work out for you?" Changing the subject. It was so James. But if that was the way he wanted it, then fine, I would work with him.
"Oh, it was great, thanks for showing it to me!" The enthusiasm in my voice didn't sound too fake, and I was rather proud of myself for keeping the attitude up around someone who made everyone within five feet of him fall into a depression. Still smiling, I noticed he was still frowning and pushing his food around on his plate. He really didn't want my sympathy right now, I could tell. He just needed people to treat him as they normally would. So instead of the usual `I'm sorry for your loss' comment, I used something he wasn't expecting. "So, you still up for teaching me transfiguration? Because we have the Newts in a couple of months, and I don't really feel ready."
James actually gave a small smile, looked up at me, met my eyes, and said, "Fine then, the Owlry at seven?"
I had to smile back, proud of the small step I had made. Now that depression radar would only throw people three feet around him into a hole of despair. But at least the Marauders could keep him from doing anything too stupid.
Speaking of, where was Sirius Black when I actually needed him?
Sirius-
I really didn't want to be there. I mean really didn't want to be there. It was for my best friend. It was a fitting closure to his mother, to my adopted parent. It was being kind; doing what no one else would in their right minds do for anyone. But that didn't change the fact that I really really really didn't want to be there.
So why was I there? I kept trying to take my mind off of the place I was at, and find what I was looking for. At least there where no dead bodies littering the ground. Even the death eaters lost (there had barely been any death eater losses,) were buried. But there air was still reeking with blood, smelling as metallic as it tasted, and tainted with fear. The scent was bitter in my mouth, and strong enough to keep away every animal but the rats. Somehow I had a feeling that while Peter was one, (a rat that is) Moony wouldn't be able to stand it here with his attuned senses, and I knew that we wouldn't be back here anytime soon, and therefore had a less likely chance of getting caught.
I was in the part of Hogsmade that had once held the village's residence. Most of the brick homes had been magically burnt to ashes, but some still stood. Those were the ones I was afraid of going in. Because unlike the others, these ones still had the owner's belongings. And most of the owners were dead. Still, I went everywhere it appeared the battle had taken place, trying to find Harriet's scent under the ash, blood, and fear that lay thick over the village. One minute she had been there. The next she had appreated over to there, leaving no scent. One of the worst parts was probably when I had lost her scent completely, was searching for it, and accidentally found a little girl's doll's head, covered in soot. Another would have to be when I found he site James must have seen Harriet die, (I could tell from the blood that marked her scent, still staining the cobblestones) and the third is a debate between finding the place Prongs slipped, and knowing he could've been killed in such a battle, and seeing an empty crib. Because I had known a baby had died during the battle. I could already guess where the baby had slept.
But even with everything I saw, (and smelt) I couldn't seem to find the locket. I followed every instinct but in the end almost gave up, agreeing with James that there was a fairly good chance a death eater had it hidden somewhere, as one of his victims prized possessions. Then, I heard the laughing and sobbing of what could only be a man half drunk or half dead.
Sure enough, Mr. Potter was a little of both. Sitting on a crate in the alley by The Three Broomsticks, he was moping about how they had thrown him out and refused to serve him any more liquor when he had broken every glass he had taken a drink out of. (And some that he hadn't.) I really couldn't blame them, as I too would have thrown him out, and at the same time I couldn't be mad at John, (as he had insisted I call him when I refused to use the terms `dad',) who had every right to be upset. Still, if James got drunk every time he had gotten depressed this year, blimey, he'd be dead at the worst, stupid at the best.
Anyways, he was twirling his wife's locket between his fingers. I wanted to leave him alone, (the scent of blood was strong enough, overlain with the grief and fear, and I really didn't want to smell the liquor that came twice as strong,) but knew that the necklace didn't technically belong to my adopted father; it belonged to my best friend. Crawling up to the drunken man, (and trying so hard not to vomit and add to the already putrid odor,) I growled. He laughed.
"What do you want? Do you want something from me too? Everyone wants something from me…" He continued rambling, and I ignored him, debating on what to do next. (And internally somewhat offended that I couldn't scare a drunken guy. Ah, well, I guess that's the way it goes.) Anyways, what I came up with was, If I could only change my fingers and leave the rest of my body looking like the grim, Mr. John would probably think himself that drunk and leave me alone. So I tried it.
I focused on transforming the tips of my fingers, the skin on the palm of my hand. It felt like very muscle, every tendon, every fur and hair was on fire. Even my claws, in the process of becoming fingernails, were shot through with a pulsing, stabbing pain. A normal transformation didn't hurt in the least, and almost felt natural to revert back to my animal self. But this, hanging in between creatures, was torture. The worst part was probably that I had to concentrate throughout the entire thing, and I have what muggle doctors like to call A.D.H.D., which stands for attention deficit hyperactive disorder. To me, it means my mind cant focus on only one subject for any longer than a moment. This made focusing on the half transformation through the pain difficult, but it was for James.
I could barely pull the locket, the charm on the silver necklace James had gotten for his mother, out of John's loose grip. But he was so out of it he didn't seem to notice someone stealing his wife's prized possession.
Racing into the forest, I became human and locked the locket around my neck and casually waltzed into Honeydukes, casually waiting until the owner was busy and then slipping behind the counter. I think she may have noticed me, but was so used to James, Remus, peter and myself entering and exiting her storeroom and store, even on days no other student entered the village. Glancing back, I caught her eye and winked, something I did every time. And like every other time, she blushed, and I smiled. We both knew that meant it was me, as I did it every time.
I walked out of that hellhole after all that time, grasping the locket. The things one does for friendship.
Lily-
When I stepped into the owlry, I was sure I'd taken a wrong turn. Sure there were the soft hoots that came from the rafters, but doves clung to the wooden frame, and James sat smiling for the first time in months. The floor was no longer made of creaky wood, but was covered in what appeared to be a soft grey flannel material, and candles were the only light illuminating the owlry, as there had always been, for Hogwarts didn't have any electricity. But just for a moment, in the dimming light and surrounded by doves, I could sort of see why all of the girls swooned at the sight of him.
Of course, they hadn't been lately. "Hey James."
"Hey." He said softly in reply, and waited for me to sit down. Pulling out my wand, I asked him about the doves, and listened to him explain. "Remember what I said about the whole basis behind transforming one animal into another?"
"What, that once you learn how to transform one animal, you can transform all animals into another one?"
"Yup, that'd be the one. We're going to test that theory tonight. Anyways, if you can do that, we move on to invertebrates, then onto transfiguring breakable objects into animals." He was holding up his arm for a dove to land on, an odd look in his eyes that made them almost look like a tamed animal. Then, a moment later, the look was gone, but his eyes were brighter than they had been in months. It was almost as if he had a special connection to the animals, and I had passed it off the last few times as a very well trained owl and mouse. Maybe somehow he had trained the dove? I don't know.
We spent the next hour or two working on the movements of the wand, but never how the words were said. When I pointed this out to James (partly because I felt stupid compared to his knowledge and gift with transfiguration,) he simply said, "I don't believe magic works that way," so softly, I could barely hear him.
I heard him but pretended that I hadn't. It didn't seem like something he'd meant for my ears, almost like it opened a wound on him, one that had yet to properly heal. We went through the lesson, then I went outside to think of how I would puzzle James Potter out.
To my wonder, not fifteen minutes after I had left the castle and sat down at the lake in my usual spot, a stag walked gracefully up to me, as though unsure but determined. I welcomed the animal, looking into its eyes and trying to send the message quietly through them. The stag seemed to understand.
We watched the stars for a while together, me talking, him listening, not that he could do much of anything else. "I don't know, I'm worried about a friend, who's… wow, I just called him my friend. I wonder when that happened?" It was amazing that he could stand my rambling, but he really didn't seem to mind. When I stood, carefully so as not to disturb him, he stood to, and looked at me carefully before turning away. Somehow, I felt much more relaxed then I had before. "Thank you." My whisper was carried away on the wind. But from the look his soft hazel eyes gave me, I think he understood. "Friends?" I asked aloud. The stag actually pushed his nose in my outstretched palm. It was a new bond, one stronger than any I had ever really felt before, stronger than the one I had with Michelle or even my parents. It was a bond of love and friendship. Only at the time, I hadn't realized the bond was with a person, not an animal.
AN- Anyways, I now demand 7 reviews, or swear to god I WONT update! (Mwah hahaha!) But if I get those seven reviews, I promise to update within the next week, or the week of getting those seven. (Hey, I kept my promise last time, didn't I?) So right now we're at 50. Let's go for 57.