AN- There is something everyone should know before this chapter. MY PARENTS ROCK AND ARE NOT BASED ON THE PARENTS IN THIS STORY! That was just incase anyone I know reads this and gets the wrong impression. I have a wonderful home life, aside from being rarely grounded or the average fight. SO DON'T THINK THIS IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! Also, I've been thinking, and because a lot of reviews with those concerned about my grammar, I really need a beta, however no one I know is really willing, (and ProngsGurl, don't even offer, the last time you tried to proof-read something, it ended up quite the mess.) I was thinking if someone wouldn't mind, I could e-mail you the chapter, and maybe you could to a little check-over for me? This would mean it might take a while to update, so I really need patience. I plan to get that problem fixed. Anyways, if you like the story but your problem's the grammar, it's something I can fix. I just write for fun, (thus the reasoning behind writing on a non-profit organization,) but I realize that at some points it may become difficult to read. (Hey, I have gotten better from prior chapters, right… right?) Anyways, I have 20 REVIEWERS TO THANK!!!!!!!!!!!! (Does dance seen in prior author's notes.)
SamBoy- Yah, I know. I don't pay attention in English. But if you read on from the third chapter, I've gotten better.
Lex- call me whatever you want, really, even ppe. I'm so glad you liked it, because quite a few this time around didn't. And Gryffindor didn't lose. They won, 150 to 175. But James lost, in a sense that while the team won, Ravenclaw caught the snitch. He had nothing to do with them winning. Anyways, thanks so much for the encouragement! See you next chapter?
Pokey- it's nice to see a new face, especially a kind one! Anyways, H/Hr can be a little fun, but in the end we don't really know whether it will be them together or someone else. I like L/J because you know what happens…you just have no idea how they got there. It's fun to figure out the million different ways. And no problem for the thank-you's, I just didn't really review before, and now I know how it kind or feels not to get one, so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to write to me. And yeah, I like torturing Prongs, I like torturing Lily… wow, guess I'm pretty bad, huh? Hopefully this chapter will be a bit longer, but I wanted to do this part now. Thanks!
Muirnin- Ouch, that particular comment on why I write stings! I would get a beta, (and maybe still will, it depends on if anyone volunteers,) but everyone I know is fourteen or under, (no I don't even have any high school friends for next year. Isn't that sad?) But I didn't think it was so bad you couldn't read it, I'd actually thought my grammar might have slightly improved. I've learned from this story, and the reviews tell me what people think I need, what people don't understand, or why people dislike my work. If it were the grammar, GREAT, you'd make the perfect beta. If it's the plot line, don't bother and find another fanfic to read. I write for passion too, which is one of the reasons I need a beta; I write ignoring the rules, because in my mind writing is the only thing in which we can make the rules for ourselves. When I write, and I mean a story, a poem, or a song, it can't be forced, or it won't come out right. Thus the many rushed chapters. But I have an idea of what I want and how I'm going to get there, and that's what my writing is about, along with the reviews. I'm thirteen. And I'm learning still. But I write because writing is my outlet, as well as my art, and this may sound a little critical, but yours did too. So here are my questions. You said something along the line of me being over ambitious, but I want my works published because I want people I don't know reading them. I have a dream and a goal, and it keeps me going and hopeful. So maybe you're a little under-ambitious? I don't know, I just know that when I have an idea, I can crank out a story within three months while attending school and putting up with homework. I have encouragement, and I have people who believe I can. Then, I have people who believe I can't, and I want to prove them wrong. Anyways, the point is that, yes, when I write I write for passion. Also, what is your definition of short? I suppose it depends on how much time you have on your hands. I, for example, have after-school activates, school, and my artwork to keep up with. No one's complaining, and even if they were hey, this is the best I can do. And I thank all of my reviewers because I know it takes time just to review once and I appreciate anyone who takes the time to make suggestions, or give me a compliment. I haven't read your works, probably because I'm only thirteen and we seem to have a different opinion of passion, but they sound somewhat impressive… also, the Quidditch match paragraph was during the match, meaning by the end of the match, it was 150 to 175, but at that moment (when he was looking at Lily) it was 0 to 175. It says the seeker was desperate, and wanted to make sure that if they lost, at least they weren't swamped. And no offense is meant by this statement, but not really anything anyone says can stop my writing. It was nice to have a critic, or someone to contradict, (when I'm in a mood like this, I like arguing,) and I haven't had one in a while. Thanks for sharing with me what you believe is passion. I believe in something else.
JayaMioneDurron- I thought Lily should give James the snitch because of the irony (yah got to love irony) and because for some weird reason it's the thing I remember above all other things when I think about that chapter. (Snape's worst Memory.) Did your two friends really hate each other at first? I'm sorry, I probably should be sympathetic towards brick head, but it was just too funny, the way you said it. I'm so glad you liked it, I'm no longer forcing people to review, but please if I ask nicely will you continue? I really look forward to your reviews! And I tried to install msn, I'm not sure if I did it right though, but I should have it.
lily- I can't promise anything, but I hate it when James and Lily fight too, so we'll see what we can work out. Come to me if you have any suggestions. Thank you for your review.
Sweetkiwi456-hey, how are you doing after your exams? I didn't get an e-mail, but that's understandable, you're under a lot of stress right now. No problem on the big-words think, I can be creative! Thank you for the compliment! And yeah, it would be sunrise, but in every other time they've been together, they've ended watching the sunset. So that's why she used sunrise rather than sunset. I'll write you e-mail soon.
quidditchfan1220- yeah, I've had to answer that question a lot this chapter; maybe I should've been clearer. But yeah, in the end it was 150 to 175. I'm flattered by the compliment, and I am no longer demanding reviews, but hopefully you will continue anyways.
Anonymous- you're one of the first people I've ever met that likes the point of view. Thank you!
Fire Gazer-Yeah, I guess it was a little depressing. But hey, that's just how I write! And I found it highly amusing that Lily distracted him, when he CAN'T BE DISTRACTED! He's supposed to be the captain, so I had to have my fun. I'm no longer demanding reviews, but if you can I'd really appreciate one. Thanks!
Yekwah- Are you really from Australia? Wow! Eeee…(jumps up and down and up and down) that's awesome! You guys think you aren't happy with Bush, we aren't happy with him either! When they re-elect I doubt he'll win, what's this crap he's trying to pull with the weapons of mass destruction? So yeah, the aussies aren't the only ones unhappy with him, if you're even from Australia! Thanks for all the compliments, and yes they can take a while to get back to you on your questions, that's why it's always better to just ask another author. And yeah, I know my Quidditch skills lack, but I'm not, (never have been, never will be….) a jock. I couldn't play sports to save my life! And what do you mean school's started again? Oh that's right, your school's been over for break… haha we have only two more weeks and then summer break! (Smiles smugly!) Anyways, please do create a fanfic, I'd like to read, and if you have any questions please come to me, I'd love to help! And I'm in 8th grade, so I don't know if that's called year 8 or what over there, but I'm thirteen if it helps. (Fourteen may 23!) Anyways, nice to hear from you, if you can, review next time, but this time I don't think I'll demand reviews, as I now have so many that I can't thank everyone without taking up so much space!
PurplePasties1985- that made me cry I was so happy! I mean, if I get an insult I can usually try to brush it off, but a compliment like yours deserves so much thanks! You actually made me whole day better, this friend of mine likes the guy I like, and she's really close so I don't want to hurt her feelings and… the day just bombed, but your review really made up for it! Thank you thank you thank you! And thank you, yeah my birthday is May 23rd, have fun on your trip! I liked the Lily talk, because I just love tormenting my characters and their sanity. This should do a number on James. (Reads through the review and squeals again at the comment on how it's your favorite l/j) thank you thank you thank you! And yeah, I'm thirteen right now, and was when I started this story. I'll be fourteen May 23rd, and next year will be my first in High school. I'm no longer demanding reviews for several different reasons, though I will continue to thank those who do choose to review, and I'd really like to hear from you, I've come to look forward to it! I hope someday I make my dreams and see my books on the shelves, but we'll just have to wait and see…
Eschiva- have I read that name somewhere? Where did you get it, I love it! And I plan to keep writing, but I'm not sure what I'm doing with this fic, or even fanfic, when my mom is so adamant on my NOT obsessing over fanfiction.
Disclaimer- hey everyone, my muse is back. I think he's been sneaking around the Internet and brought back a random idea. Little bugger! (Tries using English)
James-
While I was well aware that I was of-age, (as I'd been excited about doing magic outside Hogwarts since I'd found out you couldn't do magic outside of Hogwarts,) it didn't mean I knew very much about it. I hadn't honestly thought about it at all until Dumbledore brought it up at a Head Meeting. He said something about figuring out which direction my life was going, but I was completely gone by then. A while ago I had thought I had known what I wanted, and how to get it. Now I was at a loss as to where my future was headed.
Just the thought of leaving Hogwarts and its shelter scared me. We had been discussing our careers since before the OWL's, and I had laughed at the idea, all of us had. It had seemed so far off. But I would be leaving in a few months. And I had no idea where I was going.
"James?" Lily called, jogging to keep up with me. Realizing I was racing again, I slowed down and let Lily walk at her own pace. "James, are you all right. You kind of spaced off back there, and when Dumbledore dismissed us you ran off. James?" I suppose I must have blocked that part out, because I only remember it from when she repeated herself.
"Yeah, I'm fine…"
She could tell from the glazed look on my face, I knew. Sirius had always said it gave me away when I was trying to lie, or something was wrong. "No, you're not. What's bothering you?" When I didn't answer she continued. "You listened to me complain so much. I owe you one." I smiled at the irony in her statement, as she had no idea how often she'd complained to me, but stopped and said just the same.
"I don't really know what I'm going to do when I leave."
Lily looked stunned. "You mean you don't know your career choice and yet you're Head Boy? What is the world coming to?" See? This is why I NEVER complain to a redhead. NEVER! She seemed to see these words from the look on my face, (I'm told hiding my emotions isn't one of my better qualities) and quieted. She adopted what she must have believed to be a soothing voice, but in al honestly Lily's voice always held undertones of something lese. This time it had gone from exasperation to worry in a look, which is really saying something for Lily. When she's angry about something, she doesn't let it go until she's had her say in the matter usually. "You must have had some idea. I mean, you had to choose your courses after your results in fifth year came back, and I'm pretty sure we had a career appointment or something of that nature to know hat grades we had to polish, but I can't really remember." She frowned, while I smirked without mirth, which I can tell you is very possible.
"You wouldn't remember McGonagall cancelled yours because you were excelling in everything except her class. She personally tutored you, remember?" Lily nodded.
"But that wasn't a meeting to go over my career, she just pulled me aside after class." She paused, thinking. "And how did you know about that. I'm sure I didn't tell anyone, I was really embarrassed about how poorly I was doing in Transfiguration."
I kept on walking, and she waited for my answer. When she realized she wasn't going to get one, she simply walked beside me in silence until I cleared from my mind about how much I had liked her before, how I had begged Padfoot, (and bought him an extremely expensive dragon-hide jacket,) to tell me what McGonagall had wanted with Lily. Instead I asked, "What's involved in becoming of-age?"
"Why would I know? My birthday isn't until the last few days of the school year."
"Because you told us all about it in fifth year when we were preparing for the OWL's and you thought we didn't fully comprehend the importance of the exams." I replied smartly. Lily frowned.
:"I would hardly call flicking dungbombs at the first years preparation for an exam. And if I told you all about it, why are you asking me?"
"Would you believe me if I said I didn't catch a word of what you said that year because I was too busy listening to the tones of your voice?" Maybe she'd buy it…
"No." Maybe not. "But becoming of age means you start to hone in on what you want to do, you go through apperation tests, and you become a legal adult. If you wanted to, you could go and get your own house, not in the muggle world, but in the wizarding world. You'll also have to go sign some papers with Felton, minister of magic, on using magic outside of school. You have the option of getting a new wand that fits your job a bit better. Speaking of, you never told me. What did you want to do when you went to your career advice meeting with McGonagall?"
Part of me didn't want to answer, but there was no shame in what I had wanted. The shame was that I was too afraid now to reach for it. Finally, I made my decision. "I had wanted to be an Auror."
"Oh." With that we entered silently into the portrait hall, and I walked up to my dorm, leaving Lily watching my retreating back.
I wasn't very surprised to find the dorm room empty. It was only around nine, and Padfoot tends to stay out as late as he can without getting caught, he usually drags Moony along, and Wormtail follows them like parasite he sometimes acts like. He seems to think he needs us, which he doesn't, he'd do fine by himself, but Padfoot, (and, while ago, me too,) has always liked attention, and admiration, so we sort of accepted Peter as one of us, or one of our closer fans.
I sunk into my bed, not to sleep but to think. I used to do this at Hogsmade, (which now filled me with memories of that night,) or by the lake, (where Lily could find me,) or in the common room, (where I was sure Lily was,) but as these spots were taken, I'd spent a lot of time moping up here. I was still moping when Snitch, the small tawny owl I keep at home, flew in through the window, a letter tied around it's leg. Mom always used to send the letters, but as she was gone I could only assume it was dad, about my `coming-of-age'. I hadn't received a gift this year from him, but with mom's loss I hadn't expected to. Carefully unrolling the parchment, it read,
James,
Your mother wanted to be the one to write this, but as she's not here anymore, I am. You know how bad I am with words so I'll just lay the things your mother wanted you to do out for you.
She was going to have you invite a few friends over for the weekend after you became of-age. You'll need to stay here over the weekend anyway to visit the minister and take your apparition test, she had the idea you would want to take your friends out to dinner or something of the sort after you sign the papers with the minister, and I'll hold to her wishes. Should you decide to do this, the money will be in the vault, and I probably wont be home very often. You have the key, you can get he money for yourself. These friends you have are welcome to stay for the weekend, but no more.
She also got you a gift a month before she passed away, it will be in your room when you arrive. Take it back with you when you leave, I don't want it here.
The next matter is something she was rather adamant on, but I don't want you to have anything to do with it. I'll tell you about it, because she planned to, but ask you as your father not to participate in it. Your headmaster, Dumbledore, began a group recently, this past year, called the Order of the Phoenix. It is an elite group of people determined to vanquish the rising dark lord, (whose name she would say but I would not,) and only allows you, with your parent's permission, to enter once you of of-age. When you turn twenty-one, your parents have no say in the matter, and if I could I would stop you from even considering it, as I know you are. But it was in your mother's will, which she wrote when she joined the order, along with a letter she wrote just for you. This too is on you bed, still sealed. Should you choose to join the order, you'll have to contact Dumbledore on it, and show him the letter written by your mother.
This was everything she wrote me to tell you. Happy birthday.
John Potter
I couldn't believe him! Not so much as an `I love you', or `your father'. But I couldn't have expected anything more from him he never was really social. Losing mom must have made it so much worse.
I mulled the idea mom had had in my head. Being with my friends could help, and certainly was better than sitting at home alone all weekend. I'd bring everyone who had helped me in the past few months. Remus, Peter, and Sirius, who didn't even need to be named. But who else…
Lily-
"Are you sure you want me to come?" I had no idea what he was playing at. I thought he hated me before, now he's sensitive. James must have more emotional ups and downs than I do, and that's really saying something, as I'm a redhead.
"Yeah. Michelle's coming, as we couldn't pull her and Remus apart, Sirius's coming, but I didn't really have to say that, and Peter… can't really kick him out." James was pretending to be extremely laid-back and happy. I don't know too much about James Potter, but you can tell his emotions, he wears them on his sleeve. I, on the other hand, tend to hide how I feel unless I want to people to know. "Michelle can't be the only girl at dinner."
"Uh…I'm not sure…" I noticed Remus and Sirius's panicked looks, as Remus called James over, insisting it was urgent, and Sirius rushed up to me.
"Look, you say no, and you stay here all weekend. But Remus and I, we'll have to put up with a moping James all weekend! And you've seen him over the past year! You can't just leave us with him!" Sirius said all this so fast I almost didn't understand him, in a quiet voice so James couldn't hear. "Please! I'm willing to actually beg you."
This may sound crazy, but I see animals in people sometimes and Sirius was a puppy. A cute, fuzzy one. So when he pleaded or pouted, he had the look of a sad little dog. "Besides, don't you kind of owe him?"
Yeah, I owed him for listening, for offering, and for all the un-deserved insults. So I agreed. It could be fun.
Remus-
I have no idea what James was thinking, if he was even thinking. The idea just sounded too good to be true. And sure enough, there were quite a few flaws in the plan. The first of these flaws would be my transformation.
Secretly, I look forward to transforming now. It became the highlight of my month, because I was with my friends and no longer expected to be in control. I could run wild and welcome my other form. But no one but James, Sirius, Peter and myself know about what I am, and I had hoped to keep it that way. The first night I'd be fine, if not a little pale or nauseous. Saturday night, I'd be a full-fledged wolf.
James, apparently, had all of this planned out. Sirius would transform to keep me busy, and James would cover it up to the girls in any way necessary. The second problem I wont reveal until I get to that particular point in the weekend. But when the other three Marauders and I planned this on the way, while the girls had gone to get food from the trolley, it had barely been sketched out. No one even knew what James would say to make the girls leave me alone.
Other than planning this out, the train ride was passed in a fairly comfortable silence; aside from the fact neither Lily nor James would look each other in the eye. It was clear to any idiot now that Lily returned James feelings, and James knew it. He just didn't know what to do with it. It would probably make the weekend much more interesting.
The train dropped us off at Kings Cross, where it always does. There where far less people here, which made it even harder to blend in, and we had no idea how we were getting to James's house. He hadn't mentioned anything and his dad hadn't mentioned anything, and for about an hour we wondered if we'd been forgotten, until a sleek, black, ministry car pulled up. Assuming it was for us, (though since the driver never spoke, I suppose it could have been for someone else and we would never know,) we all clambered in.
The car pulled in front of James house as we stepped out, and I couldn't help it. My mouth dropped open. I'd known James for seven years, but in those seven years, there'd always been some reason or another I couldn't come over, whether it was him or me. It just had never worked out. But when he'd said the lived in a big house, he meant huge! I have to ask, now, why all purebloods are always rich. I mean, I'm not complaining, I'm a half-blood, but even the nice ones live in mansions like this. It all goes back to the whole discrimination thing. My father, a muggle, supported me but had no idea what to do with a werewolf come full moon. So James had seen my house before, when he'd some to help ease the transformation. But this I had never seen.
I'm not sure how exactly to describe the house. If you've ever seen the houses Hollywood actors or actresses live in on the television, it would work fairly well from what I could see. Brick, covered in vines, and welcoming, somehow I could see the Potters living here. Most large mansions feel forbidding, but Harriet and John wouldn't have been one to own such a home, as far as I knew. They had always been polite and yet kind when I had met the in the years prior, even to me, though I was a half-blood. (They didn't know what else I was. We weren't going to push it too far.)
Luckily, I wasn't the only idiot gapping; Lily, Michelle, and Peter seemed to be doing the same. Sirius and James were already pulling the trunks out of the car, thanking the silent driver and carrying the things in. James just had an amused look on his face, shook his head, and steered all of us inside.
The house elf showed each of us to our rooms, and I couldn't help but notice James taking his time guiding us to them. Normally, I was fairly sure that's what the elves were for, but he didn't seem too interested in what we thought of where we slept. He seemed more interested in avoiding where he slept.
Afterwards, we all left the potter's mansion, or manor, as he insisted it was called, to eat at whatever fancy and expensive restaurant Mr. Potter had reserved for us. The car he had requested, (more like demanded most likely, Mr. Potter happens to be a head Auror, and can get whatever service he wants from the ministry without pleasantries,) arrived at exactly six, (just because the car was on time didn't mean we were. Lily and Michelle took a while to get ready.). Not very much happened during the meal, other than James and Lily glancing at each other in turns and missing the other each time. As amusing as it was, I didn't see as much happen that night as James, who told me about it later. Now that I've gotten the chance to tell the boring and long part of the story, I'll let James tell the emotional part and hope later I can recall the events of the night that followed.
James-
I wasn't very hungry, and ate just to keep Lily, Sirius and Remus away from questioning me. But in all honesty I knew that while I could sleep in another room the rest of the weekend, I could avoid my room forever. Eventually I'd have to read whatever my mother had left for me, and read whatever she had thought I'd needed to know.
It would be a lot more than I had expected. The letter sat, still sealed, in the middle of the bed, next to a wrapped package. I opened the letter first, still dreading the words but curious. It was a morbid sense of curiosity, but it helped me to open the seal.
James~
If you're reading this, I owe you an apology. It means we didn't get as much time together as you deserve, and for that I'm sorry. We had so much planned, and I know right now you're going through a painful and difficult time. I wish I could be there for you, but I can't. That brings me to the package I left for you.
Whether you'll admit it or not, you have the same gift with words I do. You can hide it like you used to, but I thought this would help.
At this point, I brushed my fingers across the package. As strange as this is going to sound, I wasn't focusing on what my mother had left me as much as I was realizing that it was the last thing my mother had left me. It brought me out of the numbness, the denial, that had been surrounding me since a few weeks ago, and brought a new feeling. The loss was old, but I no longer felt like it was impossible to heal. The icy pain was gone, and it was like a wound that could finally bleed, and then heal.
Go on, quit sulking and open it like any normal person would have. She knew me too well. I remember when I was little, and I would read you stories and poems out of that thick bound golden edged book, don't you? You would ask me to read you bedtime stories, but any story from that book would keep you up for hours, thinking about all of the possibilities. I told you later how I had written the book, how it had been my collection of short stories. You have that same ability to write how you feel, and if you want to hide it that's not my place to tell you not to. But you need to let it out all the same. Here's your outlet. Enjoy.
The book had golden edged pages, and a deep red colored binding. It was a simple diary, something to lock my thoughts in, with a spell similar to the ones the ministry would use to protect their most heavily guarded secrets. It was the best gift she could have given. It turned back to the letter no crinkled from how tightly I was gripping it. I smoothed it out and continued.
Your father doesn't want you to do this. He's always been more protective of you, but I trust you to do what you feel is right. I hereby give you permission to join, of your own free will, (and at great personal risk,) The Order of the Phoenix. I'll let Dumbledore go into detail, should you choose to, but to help you along I your decision, I will tell you that not all jobs involve fieldwork, some can be behind the scenes. My only request is that you have nothing to do with joining the Death Eaters, if not for your dignity than for mine.
James, love, I'm not saying you're selfish, so don't get angry, but there are more people than just you hurt, and Sirius and your father need you. My death will have affected them to some extent, and they'll need to come to you much like you will need to go to them. It's probably best if you keep an eye on your father and his problems, and Sirius will be grieving my death. I left him a letter to; it's hidden in the spot in the bookshelf, where I used to keep my book.
I love you. The things I left for you, other than this book, are hidden with Sirius's letter. Xxoo ~ Mom.
It was as sentimental as mom would get when writing her death letter. Some of her works were deep, emotional, but I could, (and still can) picture her sitting there at her desk in the study, imagining what things would be like if she were to pass away in the line of duty. She had the attention span of a few seconds without her mind wandering.
All the same, it had me reduced to tears for the next few hours over the piece of parchment. I think she must have needed something else, but heard me crying. I have no idea how it happened, but somehow she ended up comforting me again, without even knowing what I was crying about. It wound up sobbing on her shoulder, very aware by the time I had calmed down that the only girl I had ever really felt a need to impress had just seen me crying. Calming down, I ran a hand through my hair, something I haven't done in forever, and looked up at her face immediately to see her reaction. She looked surprised, but smiled slightly when she saw me studying her.
I remembered her words by the lake. It was the last thing I wanted to think about, but as I didn't have anything else to think about, and she was sitting here, on the edge of my bed at about eight comforting me, my mind wound up on the topic. I really didn't need a girlfriend to worry about now, not to mention I didn't need to have the pressure of trying to impress her every time. But that was the thing about Lily. You had to go to some extent to grab and keep her attention. Any old tricks I had used on anyone else wouldn't work on her. There was no way any relationship between us would work out, after all those years where she hated me.
But I could thank her, right? So I just gave her a sweet little kiss on the cheek, before I whipped off my face, smiled at her, and walked away, not very sure how to feel or what to think about the surprised look on her face. She didn't follow me out, and I didn't make her. She'd come out when she felt like it, and hopefully she wouldn't explode on me for that, but it had seriously been a spur of the moment thing. Somehow I didn't think she'd mind.
Guess who was cackling outside the door. "Sirius!"
"What? That was so, ah…what's the word Michelle used? Cute! That's the word!" I was about to ask what he meant when I looked behind him to see Michelle, Peter, and Remus hightailing it around the corner and out of there. I saw, from the corner of my eye, Sirius try to do the same, and grabbed the collar of his muggle-style shirt to keep him from doing so.
"Never mind that, I need to talk to you. Mum left you a letter, and some stuff in her will I think." Sirius's smiling quickly stopped as he realized why I was crying, and he nodded solemnly. We walked in silence down the winding stairs and to the main floor, then through the hall that lead to her study. There sat the book, on the bottom shelf from when I was little and couldn't reach much higher. I pulled a letter out of the pages of the favorite story of dragons and Merlin she read to us when we were about seven. I saw I wasn't the only one about to cry, Sirius looked as close as I did, but he seemed determined not to. I handed him his note, and watched as he gave in and silent tears streamed down his face too. After he finished, I watched him fold the note again and stick it back in the envelope. He took the book from me and ran his fingers over the spine.
"You should have this. Do you know who she left it for?" His voice sounded rusty, and I saw a flash of a thinner, darker Sirius, an older one that didn't smile. I promised myself that after everything he had done for me, I wouldn't let that happen. (I know, how sad, but the opportunity was there and I had to write it.)
"I don't know. She said it was all in the will. But the book's kind of dusty, she must have written these letters a while ago." I replied bitterly. Somehow I didn't trust my dad with the will.
He swallowed hard and helped me up. " You okay mate?"
A month ago I hadn't been, even though I had said I was. A few hours ago, I had insisted I was, but even then I had been anything but. Now, though, I honestly said, "Not yet. But I think I will be."
"Prongs, no more impressive, deep, artistic words. Just too weird coming from a boy not in a soap opera." I smiled sardonically and followed Sirius out. For the first time in months, that night I had a dreamless sleep.
AN- I'm sorry it took so long, now even my little brother is afraid I've gotten obsessive over fanfiction and thinks I need a little break. So I had to deal with my family, and I was sick for the last few days. Anyways, this was the last chapter in depression, as James is no longer depressed, but I was thinking about a sequel, what do you think? Anyways, it would cover the rest of the year, including the first awkward kiss, to a little farther, maybe even Harry's birth or their deaths, I'm not sure. Please share you thoughts! Thank you for those who reviewed me during this story. I owe you so much, it makes me feels all fuzzy inside to know some people appreciate what I write! THANK YOU!