AN: Hey, everyone, sorry for the long wait… I've been working at a warehouse (summer job) for the last two weeks, and every bone in my body's aching from all the restocking and lifting, and to top it all off, we just suffered a serious heat wave during the last two weeks… I've been feeling brain-dead for most of the time… Now it's raining like buckets of water are being poured from the heavens, and it doesn't seem to be ending in the near future… Ideal weather to have some writing done! I know normal people aren't supposed to like the rain, but I never pretended to be normal…
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Chapter 12
It had been an hour ago since Hermione had finally been able to escape Miss Weasley to go freshen up before supper. The witch was certainly full of energy, and full of stories, despite her complaints of being tired from work. Hermione hadn't been in a state to give her all the attention needed to remember all the details, but she had gotten the essentials.
Hogwarts sounded much more interesting than Blueboard had been, and Miss Weasley certainly held Mr. Potter in high regard. It made Hermione wonder. With Mrs. Potter unconscious for all that time, and Miss Weasley living here… was there something more between them?
Hermione didn't like where her thoughts were leading her. She wasn't one to judge people without facts, and even then, despite the principles she had clung to all her life, she could understand the loneliness all to well.
She herself had had times where she could have used someone to take comfort in… There were several reasons why she'd never acted upon those needs. And she would be lying if it was only her honour stopping her, besides, there wasn't much honour left for her… The main reason, actually, was because of her desire to find her daughter one day being even stronger than the need for companionship… Or maybe she had already given her heart away…
The sudden constricting feeling overtook her body again, and she fled her room for more air. Pausing at a window overlooking the front of the grounds, the frosty weather caused the glass to give a distorted vision. It was with sudden irrational dread that she noticed a carriage arrive.
Glued to the window to watch blurry figures descending from the vehicle to enter the house her heart hammered in her chest. She heard the front door open downstairs and a little girl's voice squeal for her daddy, before she saw Lily's form rushing from the house to jump in one of the man's waiting arms.
Hermione's heart warmed a little by seeing the evidence of the obvious affection Miss Lily got from her father and the sweet abandon to joy Lily displayed at seeing her father. The girl obviously craved her father's attention…
While the figures approached the house, Hermione could hear the voice of one of the men walking inside. Her blood circulation was doing some pretty irregular things at hearing that voice welcoming his guest in his home. Shaking her head she tried to will the feeling away… The feeling of certainty that the man downstairs… the father of Lily… master of this mansion… was… him.
Gathering all her strength around her she steeled herself when she heard Miss Weasley asking Winky to let the governess know Mr Potter had arrived.
Bringing her hands to her hair, her fingers checking if her hair-do was neatly in place, Hermione'd just brought her hands down to smooth her skirts when Winky popped up in front of her.
"Master needs to see new governess! Miss Granger follows Winky!"
Taking a deep breath Hermione walked down the stairs, repeating to herself that even if by some miracle she had landed in his home, she would show no indication that she had ever knew him… He had always insisted on keeping his name unblemished, and she would not be the one to disgrace him.
Oh, why was she behaving this silly, it probably wasn't him anyway…
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Harry caught the red bundle of joy that catapulted his way and twirled her around. Her laughter always made him feel alive. Unashamed on how Neville might think of the greeting he allowed his daughter, Harry saw Ginny already in the doorway, waiting with a great smile.
Though Harry liked respectability and reserve in behaviour around adults, he only indulged Lily in her unrestrained energy, he wasn't quick enough to present the acquaintances to each other properly… Ginny was already pumping Neville's hand energetically and welcoming him before Harry could introduce them to each other.
Nevermind Ginny knew Neville from her Hogwarts years: proper decorum dictated that he'd introduce his guests, but Harry had long since stopped in trying to influence Ginny's strong willpower. She just ended up doing exactly as she pleased anyway…
Introducing Neville to his beloved home, he heard Ginny call for the new governess. They entered the receiving room, quickly warming themselves in front of the happily cracking fire. After having rubbed their limbs back to life, the two men sat down in opposite couches, Lily curling her body immediately into her father's side.
Turning to Neville, Harry smiled:
"Can you understand this, dear friend? You see this innocent angelic face," cupping Lily's chin to indicate who he was talking about, "Though, don't be fooled: she managed to scare away five governesses already…"
Harry never knew what Neville would've chosen to answer to that, because Winky interrupted them with her announcement.
Even before Harry could place the name "Miss Granger" he had seen the woman he'd feared for years. Time seemed to freeze, as well as his arms around his daughter. All he could see was the woman before him, the woman who showed no emotion whatsoever… After what seemed eternities, but he hoped it were mere seconds, he realised he was holding his breath.
Barely suppressing the panic, it was in a daze that he saw the vision in front of him, holding his gaze very stoically. Fear making place for anger, he managed to reign his composure. This was his home, he was not about to be intimidated in his own house!
Collecting all his reserve, he managed to sound oddly composed when he invited the new governess into his work chamber for a private chat.
How he managed to get there solemnly, and politely leave his other guests in the receiving room, he had no idea. How he managed to reign in his fear and rage until the door of his study closed behind the woman, he would never know. But once he knew she was the only one who could witness his behaviour, he started pacing furiously.
Rounding on her suddenly, he saw her composure was crumbling too. She was obviously scared but trying hard not to show it.
"What in bloody Merlin's name are you doing here! You have to leave!" Without pausing to hear her answer, he started pacing again, not able to bear facing her: "We had a bargain! I just wanted an heir! Is that so wrong? I just wanted something of mine…" Turning toward her again, he had calmed a bit, but he spoke accusatory: "You promised… You gave her! I paid you!"
The woman seemed to have trouble breathing after he said that, but he didn't allow himself to feel for her… She had too much power to destroy him…
With an unsteady voice, she took a desperate step towards him:
"I'll pay you back! I just needed the money for my father…"
"I don't want to know!" Harry brought his arms up, as if defending himself from her plea. He could not look into her face when he made his decision, filled with a cold dread he could only think of sending her away. "You can't stay…"
"I won't tell her! I'll just be her governess!" The mother of his child was becoming more and more desperate, tears flowing from her eyes now.
"You can't… You're her mother: you couldn't live with a secret like that!" Harry interrupted her.
"I could! I'll teach her, she needs me! Please, don't send me away, I've waited seven years to finally see her! There's nothing I wanted more ever since I heard her first cries! Please…"
Harry was thorn, but the fear of losing Lily was too strong, barely louder then a whisper, he repeated: "You can't stay…"
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