AN: GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER… NOW!!!
***
Chapter 23
Hermione stayed in her position at the fireplace. Help? What possible help could she provide beside teaching Lily? Or perhaps he had found out about her potion skills, and he wanted her to make some complicated potion?
Her mind was buzzing while her posture remained rigid. Waiting for him to clarify his request, she tried to let the fire warm her to calmness. Finally he spoke again, a bit hesitant:
"There was a time… There was a time we have been… We met before… We were… close… Do you remember that time?"
Hermione's heart was beating so hard, she was scared the emotions were going to inflict real physical damage. Of course she remembered that time… It were only some of the most life-altering moments of her life! But forever the collected one, she answered, barely above a whisper:
"Yes…"
A sigh escaped his lips, as if he'd been holding his breath for her answer. With hesitant urgency he proceeded:
"Tell me those memories belong to the past… That they will rest in the past forever…"
*
Merlin, he needed her strength right now… He had come here tonight, meaning for him to tell her it would forever be in the past. He had fought so hard to repress everything, had wanted to send her away as soon as possible… But fate, it seemed, had helped to turn his feelings against him…
He knew now, that he was unable to repress any longer what he felt for this woman… So, his only salvation lay in the hope that she did not return his affections. That she was more honourable than him, and that she would reject him with one simple word…
Only… That word never came…
*
Hermione tried… But she could not lie… Not about this… She knew she should agree with him… She should reassure him, that what had happened in the past, would stay in the past. That she not only would promise to never reveal their secret bond, but also promise to renounce entertaining any present or future thoughts about him…
Only, she couldn't… So she remained silent…
Startled out of her inner struggle, she heard him speak, almost defeated:
"You do not answer?"
Hermione felt sad… for him… for her… They were quite the tragic pair… He wouldn't want to risk losing what was left of his respectability, and frankly… she didn't want to lose hers, either… But how were they going to live with the tension between them… Now that he certainly guessed she couldn't forget him in the way she shouldn't have remembered him…
Through her silly reverie of self-pity, she heard his gentle voice, and just the sound of it was already making her heart ache:
"What happens… when we ignore the rules of time… in the firelight?"
Looking up, amazed by this question, and what it could mean, she watched him from her place in front of the fireplace. His green gaze was piercing her, as if looking right into her soul. It was pleading with her, only she didn't know what he was begging her to do or say.
Rising slowly, she answered, while hope grew painfully in her chest: "The firelight makes the moment magical… We can be whoever we want to be, and do or say whatever we desire… And in the morning… once the sun casts her light upon us again… all is erased… Everything that happened during the Magic of Firelight is forgotten… forgiven…"
His gaze became her anchor, while the words rolled from her. What she desired to do in this moment… during the magic of the firelight… was something she could barely fight… But it was getting too painful to fight it any longer… And his expression told her that he felt the same…
And in that moment, she didn't care anymore. He desired this as much as she did, and in the morning, it would all be forgotten… forgiven…
*
Harry had listened to her… And he believed her.
He wanted to believe her more than anything in the world. He wanted her… And if the magic of firelight was going to give him what he craved for, who was he to argue its power?
His heart hammering, he watched her as she stood aside him. Her eyes… so sad… so full of hope… so everything he was feeling also… Shadows were playing on the skin of her face, and the overwhelming desire to rid her hair from the ridiculously tight bun she was wearing, conquered his demeanour as it had years before.
In a forbidden gesture, he brought his hands to the back of her head, making the pins disappear… Taking the freed hair between his fingers, he helped the locks with their cascade downwards… How her whole appearance lessened in its severity… How much younger and more innocent did she appear… But it barely mattered…
All that mattered was her, and everything about her. Bending his head slowly, he continued to hold her gaze, trying to read it. What he saw was pain, sadness, desire, fear, longing, tenderness, defeat… as he was feeling…
The moment his lips touched hers… he thought he was going to die from the pain it brought him… Exquisite, torturous pain, and it promised equal pleasure once it was survived… Closing his eyes, he savoured the traitorous kiss… It felt like his salvation, but at the same time, it sealed his downfall.
It wasn't enough… it would never be enough…
Repeating the gesture, brushing his lips tenderly over hers again, realisation crashed into him. They had never kissed before… And she wasn't in the process of slapping him, or running away in the opposite direction as fast as she could. Quite the contrary… she was a willing accomplice… There was no money, no deal, nothing to bind them together but their desire…
With only the firelight to witness their kiss.
*
Her downfall and salvation, indeed. Her heart soared. Her mind was numb. Having rationalised the moment to be under the influence of the firelight, it had allowed her body and heart to do as they pleased…
She would likely never understand why he freed her impossible hair, but she couldn't regret what came next.
Merlin help her… And the Muggle Lord forgive her… She could not stop this, even if she'd wanted to.
Despite the pain in her heart, despite her and his position in life… Regret wasn't on her mind when he kissed her.
This moment didn't just mean the continuance of something they'd started before… It meant everything, and more… He had kissed her, an act they'd both avoided in the past.
This was the present…
And even the future didn't matter in this moment…
***
Please, review?