Chapter 38
After Mrs. Weasley had left her room, Hermione was strangely calm. With an unexplainable urge, she sat down and took her journal out. Continuing her analyses from before, she knew she had been right to make the decision of closing her heart to wishes of love.
All there was between them was desire. Soon, they would again be apart. It was not meant to be. He was destined to hang on to his wife, or to make his honourable choices. Which meant to chose Miss Weasley to be his wife. In that occasion, she knew she couldn't stay here, even if she had no family to go to.
Her future was thus set - away from her daughter, and away from Mr. Potter - Harry… She had still a few weeks of present time, though.
With Lily, she was to resume her tasks as a governess. That was without question.
But what about Mr. Potter? Was she to continue escaping the reality of it by telling herself their acts were suspended during the Magic of the Firelight? That wasn't going to protect her feelings much longer…
***
Harry sighed in relief when he could close the door to his bedchamber. Silence was a much needed change when Weasleys visited, even if the loud affection was enjoyable. For a moment, he waited until all sound around the house desisted, before doing a magical sweep to assert everyone was safely ensconced in their own chambers. Satisfied, he let temptation conquer and wished himself in Hermione's bedchamber.
The room was dark. Something he hadn't counted on. Thinking "lumos", a bulb of light appeared in front of him. A slight movement caught his eye, and he moved in the direction of the bed. If he had been worried she'd be cold without the fire, he was surprised to feel warmth coming from the sheets on her bed while he approached.
Surprised and impressed. That charm wasn't an easy one to master. Not without setting the sheets on fire, anyway.
He didn't linger on that thought, though, and was contemplating what he should say to her. Are you awake? Because if you are, I could use your company right now? Or he could always try the 'actions speak louder than words' approach. Before he could make up his mind, she whispered, though:
"You shouldn't be here. The house is full of guests…"
Harry wanted to counter that the last time they'd met, the house had been full of people too. But something in the atmosphere of the room didn't feel right. First, it was dark, and they were whispering. The firelight wasn't casting its magic, which meant… What did that mean exactly?
Before he could wrap his mind about what exactly was happening, she whispered again:
"I think Mrs. Weasley suspects something…"
Harry startled: "Molly?"
All he got from her was a quiet 'yes'. With the pale light cast by his lumosbulb, he couldn't see her expression properly, which annoyed him. But more than that, the mention of Molly made him pause. It wouldn't be a good idea to try and convince Hermione now. He should ponder on the situation first.
Absentmindedly, he reached for her, kissed her forehead tenderly and whispered back:
"We will talk about it later," before vanishing to his own bedchamber.
***
Hermione laid stunned. Feeling her resolve wear down fast, she basked in the afterglow of the simple and tender touch Harry… Mr. Potter, had just bestowed on her.
She had put out her firelight on purpose. What she had meant to communicate to him, she wasn't sure yet, but she knew there had to change something. She wasn't about to keep putting herself through this. She wasn't going to keep fulfilling only a part of her desire, if it meant fulfilling his completely.
But… He hadn't read anything in the absence of Firelight. Or at least, he hadn't showed it. Wasn't it the only reason he broke his own rules? Because everything would be forgotten in the morning?
He hadn't showed hesitation in approaching her. Only when she mentioned Mrs. Weasley, he stopped coming forward. And only for a little while, since in that following instant he'd given her something he'd never done before.
Tenderness.
He was always tender in their… meetings. But this was different. This was outside of those moments, safely in the Magic of Firelight. He'd touched her in amore innocent way, but wildly out of place for a master towards the governess of his daughter.
More like a gesture of a man towards the mother of his child.
But he'd never recognised her in that way. Besides the moment of rage and fear, when he'd lashed out at her. And it was the reason she wasn't allowed to stay here longer than a few weeks.
A promise that they would talk.
They rarely ever talked. That constituted that he should be open to listening what she had to say. Aside from facts he was then to analyse, not she…
What did those gestures mean? And was this the consequence of refusing to play by the rules of the Magic of Firelight? Was this a risk she was willing to take?
Would she only invite deeper feelings by refusing him? Chances were he would try and convince her to continue accepting him. Would this lead to false promises? To deeper disappointment in the end? Was it safer to continue the fulfilling of desire inside the Magic of Firelight, until the time was there to leave for the next family?
Exhaustion overtook her, and denied her a conclusion.
***
Harry didn't overanalyse their meeting. He did feel some apprehension about Hermione's fear Molly might know something. But he'd been very careful, so Molly couldn't be aware of anything.
Moreover, if she really knew anything, Harry would've heard something from her already. Dismissing this potential worry, he dismissed the extinguished hearth, too. Tomorrow he could find the solace he needed, tomorrow, everyone in their way would be gone.
More importantly he pondered about one of the more important decisions in his life. How was he going to proceed about Cho. How was he going to take a final decision?
Ginny could help him there. But she was to leave for a week, tomorrow…
He could talk to Cho. Inform her of his thoughts. Preparing her. Then after a week, he would talk to Ginny. They would consult a Healer to be sure there wasn't much chance of Cho waking up after all these years. And then they could consult him how to go about letting Cho leave this world with dignity.
He felt a great relief once that decision had been made inside his mind. He could never be sure if this was the right one to make. But nevertheless, he felt it was time to let Cho rejoin Cedric… He had Lily now. And Hermione. And he could protect them. They weren't going to leave him. Death didn't surround him… Not anymore…
***
Please, review?
***
Nymoue, Wow, je n'avais que publié le dernier chapitre moins qu'une demi-heur, et déjà un review! C'est plus que fantastique, ça! Et tu ne dois certainement pas écrire en anglais. Parce que, comme ça, au moins je m'efforce un peu d' exercé mon français!;-p