Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and events from J.K. Rowling's wonderful Harry Potter books. I am writing this for my own enjoyment and hopefully for the enjoyment of readers. Anything you recognize belongs to JKR. The rest belongs to me.
Chapter 41: Mugglology - The Study of Muggles
After a long and boring Potions class the Gryffindor students trudged into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. They watched with curiosity as Professor Peurom finally entered the room, several minutes late for class. He quickly walked to his desk and shakily placed down the books he had carried in. He placed his hands on the desk and took a few deep breaths as if summoning up the courage to speak, before darting his eyes toward the class before him.
"Good afternoon," he said in a soft but quaky voice. "I am Professor Peurom. I will be your DADA teacher this year. We have a lot to cover, starting with boggarts and grindylows and eventually concluding the year with vampires and werewolves…"
Peter nervously glanced at Remus who sat at his table. Remus had paled a bit at the mention of studying werewolves.
Before Professor Peurom could continue Alice raised her hand and spoke, "Excuse me, Professor. Did you say that you would be here for only a year?"
Peurom gulped and flicked his eyes toward her before responding, "I have not made any commitments for more than this year, Miss…"
"Lyons," Alice replied. "Why aren't you going to stay?"
"As I said I have not made any commitments for more than a year. Now, as I mentioned earlier there is a lot to cover so let us begin. Please open your books to the chapter on boggarts…" he said.
The class continued as James kept glancing at his watch. He wanted to start the next step in the Animagus training and hoped to try that evening after dinner. He still had a few weeks before Quidditch practice started and would have more time now than later. He smiled to himself in anticipation of the upcoming Quidditch season, especially after the previous year's Quidditch Cup win. He glanced at Sirius, who he knew wanted to try out for the team that year. The only positions open were for two Chasers, who had graduated the previous year. James learned earlier that day that tryouts for all the house teams would take place that Saturday. He could hardly wait to have his best mate on the team.
That evening James was bitterly reminded by Sirius that he would not be able to practice his Animagus training because he was to join McKinnon with Lily for help with his Muggle Studies homework. Sirius looked as annoyed with the fact that he would have to spend time with McKinnon as James was annoyed that Sirius would be spending time with Lily.
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"I can't believe you agreed to this!" whined Marlene.
Lily shook her head, tired of hearing Marlene's complaints about helping Sirius. "Come on, Marlene. Surely you can handle an hour or two with Sirius Black."
Marlene bristled at the comment. Lily knew that any hint that Marlene couldn't 'handle' a situation would push her buttons enough to get her to agree to do it. "I can certainly handle being around that pig if I have to!" said Marlene.
"Really?" asked Lily, trying to hide her amusement. "You almost seem scared of being around him."
Marlene narrowed her eyes at Lily and said, "I am NOT scared. Annoyed is more like it!" Seeing the smile
forming on Lily's face, she said, "Let's just get this over with!"
They walked down the girl's dormitory stairs into the common room and saw Sirius and James standing near the fireplace laughing with some girls they recognized as being fourth years.
Marlene pulled Lily toward a table in the corner and said, "Come on, let's get started." She looked up at Lily, who had not yet taken a seat. She had an odd expression on her face. "What is it, Lily?"
Lily's eyes darted to the laughing boys and back before she shook her head and in a nervous voice said, "I thought we were going to wait for Sirius."
Marlene scowled before turning and shouting across the room, "Oy! Pig! If you want Lily's help then get your arse over here!"
Sirius raised his eyebrows in response and turned to the girls he was near and muttered something, sending them into a fit of giggles. He casually picked up the book bag that was near his feet, strolled up to Lily and Marlene and settled into one of the vacant seats. "Hey Evans," he said with a smile. He glanced at Marlene and with a smirk said, "McKinnon."
"Nice of you to finally join us, Black," said Marlene, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
Sirius opened his mouth with a retort but Lily interrupted, hoping to quell any arguments before they started. "OKAY!" she said loudly. "You both want my help. What do you need to know about?"
Marlene and Sirius started searching through their notes before Sirius finally said, "We're supposed to write a paper on eccentricity." He chuckled to himself before adding, "I didn't know that was a Muggle trait."
Marlene rolled her eyes and said, "Not eccentricity you oaf! Honestly! Don't you ever listen to the professor during classes?" She turned to Lily and said, "It's on eclectricity."
Lily giggled before replying, "Actually, you're both wrong. I believe the subject matter you need to write about is ELECTRICITY."
Sirius shot Marlene a smug look, happy to see that she was just as wrong as he was.
"So what do you guys know about electricity?" asked Lily.
They just sat there in front of her with blank expressions. Lily sighed, realizing that it was going to be a long evening. She delved into the subject while Sirius frequently interrupted her, asking many questions.
"Wait a minute, Evans," he said. "This…electricity- it's supposed to make things happen, like turning a light on?" He shook his head in amazement.
"Yes, well actually, you're almost right. It supplies power to the light, it doesn't physically turn it on. It not only can supply the power to light a lamp, it can also power a television, a coffee maker…"
"Whoa, hold on," said Sirius. "What in Merlin's name is a veletision? And a coffee maker?"
"Black!" hissed Marlene. "Could you keep your trap shut for two seconds so Lily can finish explaining?"
"I don't see you keeping your mouth shut, McKinnon," he growled. "You have to harp on every little comment I make…"
"If the things you said weren't so idiotic then maybe I wouldn't have to interrupt…" she countered.
"IDIOTIC?!" raged Sirius. "I suppose you know everything there is to know about Muggles then, eh? I suppose you never need to ask anything, Miss Know-it-All?"
Lily sat there feeling a mixture of fear and amusement. Marlene and Sirius' bickering always provided a source of entertainment however Lily feared that hexes could start flying at any moment so she decided to intervene. Marlene was inching her hand toward her wand when Lily said, "Maybe we should call it an evening. Perhaps we could finish this another time…er…separately."
Marlene glared at Sirius for a moment before grabbing her books and storming out of the portrait hole.
Sirius sneered and sat there shaking his head before noticing Lily was still there. She glanced at him nervously and he couldn't help but laugh at the expression on her face.
"So, Evans," he started, "You said that electricity is like power, right?"
Glad to be switching back to the subject at hand, Lily replied, "Yes."
"So where does all that power come from?" Sirius asked.
"Usually some kind of power plant," replied Lily.
"Plant? How on Earth do Muggles grow power plants?" he asked.
Lily laughed. "It's not that kind of plant! This kind of plant is a location that generates the power."
Sirius realized his misunderstanding but playfully smiled and said, "Are you sure, Evans? Then how do you explain 'flower power'?"
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James sat on the couch by the fire vaguely hearing the ramblings of the girls sitting by him. For some reason he couldn't keep his focus on their conversation. His gaze traveled to the corner of the common room, where he was surprised to see Sirius and Lily seated at the table alone. He wondered what happened to McKinnon, and why Sirius was still over there if they were done studying.
All of a sudden he saw Lily's eyes light up as she laughed. It wasn't just some ordinary laugh. It filled the room with a musical tone and lit up her eyes. James had forgotten about Lily's smile, seeing as how she rarely smiled around him. He watched as Lily playfully smacked Sirius on his shoulder before she attempted to redirect Sirius' attention back to his Muggle Studies textbook. Sirius, on the other hand, had decided that he had done enough studying and continued to smile and joke, sending Lily into fits of laughter.
James felt an intense irritation at his best mate. Before he knew it he was on his feet and walking toward the pair in the corner. As he approached he noticed Lily gathering her things and saying goodbye to Sirius as she smiled and walked away. James watched her walk out of the portrait hole before finishing his journey to the table. He stood by Sirius who finally looked up and noticed James standing next to him.
"Hey, Prongs!" Sirius said with a smile, which quickly faded once he saw the expression on James' face. "What's wrong? Look, if this is about Evans-"
"I'm not upset about her," James quickly said. He had spent a long time trying to convince himself he was over her and didn't want his friends to pity him for still harboring jealousy regarding Lily. He quickly thought up another reason for being annoyed. "Moony's looking paler and we're supposed to be learning the Animagus spell. I looked over here assuming you would be studying - the reason you gave me for not practicing the Animagus spell tonight - and here you were, laughing it up with Evans!"
Sirius knew James was lying but opted to go along, at least for the most part. "Look Prongs, we were finishing up and I was planning on joining you, Peter, and Remus. We were just laughing, that's all. I like Evans, but I don't plan on pursuing her if that's what you think."
James tried to casually shrug his shoulders in response. "It doesn't matter. Evans and I are ancient history. Like I said before, I am just anxious to help Moony."
Nothing more was said as Sirius and James met up with Remus and Peter. James, though annoyed that Sirius could still see through him, was relieved that he had come forward and said he wasn't interested in Lily.
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The next morning the Marauders were seated at the Gryffindor table eating breakfast when the morning mail arrived. James was watching Remus open his copy of the Daily Prophet when he felt a splash hit him as a large bundle was dropped onto the table, knocking over his orange juice. Chudley, the family owl, sat next to the giant package, looking worn out from towing it over a long distance. James tossed him a piece of his toast and reached over to open the package. When he opened it up, he gasped in surprise. "I can't believe it!" he exclaimed.
"What'd you get, Prongs?" asked Sirius.
James laughed and leaned over to whisper to Sirius, "It's the bag of dungbombs and stink pellets that my mum confiscated. I can't believe she sent it after forcing me to endure a lecture on maturity and responsibility!"
Sirius eagerly grabbed the bag and inspected the contents. "There's a letter inside," he said.
James grabbed it and opened it. The handwriting was unfamiliar and rather child-like in appearance. As he read the letter comprehension dawned on him.
Dear James,
I am having Perchy write this since, for obvious reasons, I am unable to. Your mother told me about the bundle she confiscated from you and that she had properly disposed of it. I took that to mean that she had given it to Perchy to dispose of. Later that evening Perchy was cleaning the dining room and I got her to admit that she had the bundle. She sees me as Joseph Potter, so she naturally agreed when I asked her to write this for me and mail the package to you. I hope you are enjoying your third year at Hogwarts. I assume you and Sirius are getting into your usual mischief. Now that you are 'fully armed' with the items in the package, I expect you'll have loads of fun. Just don't mention this to your mother. I know she can't kill me a second time, but I'd rather not get hexed into having a dress painted onto my image. One other thing - don't get caught.
Love,
Dad
Sirius read the letter over James' shoulder and when he was finished he glanced at his friend, unsure of how he would react. He could still remember the anger James had felt at the beginning of the summer when he had met the portrait of his father. To Sirius' surprise James started laughing. Sirius let out the breath he had been holding and smiled. Noticing the curious looks he was receiving from Remus and Peter across the table he leaned over and explained what was in the package.
Peter was practically bouncing off his seat, eagerly anticipating the pranks that the others would come up with. "So what are we going to do first?" he asked.
Sirius' mouth formed an evil grin as he said, "I think it's time we properly greet Snivellus for the year. After all, he must have missed us this summer."
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A/N: No, Sirius did not prank Marlene in this chapter. I was in a weird mood when I wrote this, mainly writing the study session part just to get to that horrible pun that Sirius said about flower power. Okay, so I had a few other things in mind when writing it, too…
Just to make it clear - the portrait of James' dad had the house elf write the letter for him and mail it with the confiscated dungbombs and stink pellets.
Thanks to the latest reviewers: Alicia, delpheena, Remus'sweetie, Golden Phoenix, likediamondrain, Anonymous, PottersPrincess, and A New Reader (x2). The 'Kudos' Award goes to Anonymous who pointed out that Professor Vablatsky is, in fact, the author of Unfogging the Future.
Next chapter: First Care of Magical Creatures class. Find out what the Marauders do to Snape. Quidditch tryouts!