Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and events from J.K. Rowling's wonderful Harry Potter books. I am writing this for my own enjoyment and hopefully for the enjoyment of readers. Anything you recognize belongs to JKR. The rest belongs to me.
Chapter 45: Elementary Wand Safety
Joseph was roused by the distant angry voice of Marianne Potter. After Marianne, James, and Sirius had left for the Prewett's for Christmas Eve dinner, Perchy had dimmed the lights causing Joseph to drift into a light slumber. Hearing the annoyed voice of his wife, Joseph wondered what the commotion was. He had heard about characters in portraits being able to move from one picture to another but he had never attempted it.
'There's no time like the present,' he thought. Concentrating hard, he focused his thoughts on the portrait of the children playing in a field which hung on the wall in the hallway. He ran to the side of his picture, still thinking about the nearest painting, and before he knew it he was in a field getting some strange looks from three children.
"Mr. Potter?" one of the children asked. "How did you get here? I thought you had died."
Joseph smiled and said, "I'm from a portrait that was commissioned before he died. This is the first time I've left my picture." Hearing the voices a few rooms away, Joseph concentrated hard on the next painting and soon found himself crowded into a small portrait with his great-great grandfather, Nathaniel. The elder Potter gave his great-great grandson a surprised yet annoyed look, having been rudely awoken from his nap.
Joseph gave a sheepish smile and continued from portrait to portrait, feeling that he was getting the hang of moving around. At one point, he found himself running away from a lion and made a mental note to avoid the picture his grandfather had had painted in honor of his African safari.
Finally, Joseph made it into the living room where Marianne was finishing her lecture to two very guilty looking boys standing in front of the fireplace, covered in green goop.
"…can't believe that every time we visit them you find a way to embarrass us with your silly antics. I thought that maybe you would have grown up a little…" ranted Marianne. Though her tone was annoyed Joseph knew his wife and could see that behind her angry façade she was secretly amused. After all, she had fallen for him after years of his 'silly antics.'
"Mum," said James as he looked down at his slimy robes, "look at us. It's not as if we were the only ones misbehaving."
"Yeah," added Sirius. "We were trying to have a pleasant conversation with Gideon. He was the one who hexed us."
Marianne shook her head and sighed. "I'll never understand how Gideon and Fabian were let into the auror's program when they do immature, silly hexes like that." She coughed, though it sounded like a suppressed chuckle. Glancing up at the two boys, Sirius showing his most sincere puppy dog eyes and James' hair still sticking up despite being slathered with the goop, she ordered them to go upstairs and get cleaned up. As soon as they were out of the room Marianne couldn't contain her laughter any longer.
"Aha! You've been caught!" exclaimed Joseph, causing Marianne to jump in surprise and turn toward the portrait he was visiting.
"Joseph?!" she gasped. "How did you-? When did you figure out how to-?"
"Just now when I heard the yelling," he replied. "Back to the subject at hand, I always had a feeling you secretly enjoyed all of the mischief James and I got into. Now I have proof!"
Marianne huffed and haughtily replied, "I have no idea what you are talking about."
**************************************************************************************
Lily sighed as she walked through the barrier at Platform 9 ¾. She had loved her visit with her parents. Each time she walked through the door during a school break the house looked a little smaller, but it still was as if nothing ever changed. It was an illusion, though. Some things had changed, mainly the closeness she once had with her sister. While Petunia was civil toward Lily she no longer sought her company. Petunia preferred to either cloister herself in her room on the telephone or disappear for hours while she was with her friends.
Petunia was now fifteen years old and was taking advantage of the freedom her parents granted her that came with her age. During one of the few conversations Lily had with Petunia during the holiday, Petunia revealed that she was doing quite well in her studies. She even hoped to study medicine and join the Peace Corps. She wanted to make her mark in the world. Petunia also revealed to Lily that she had a crush on a schoolmate named Jonathan. Petunia's eyes melted when she mentioned him, though Lily noticed a wistful look and suspected the crush was one-sided.
At the end of the holiday Lily had a very impersonal goodbye from Petunia as she rushed off to meet one of her friends. That left Lily's parents to take her to King's Cross. Even though there was a tearful goodbye with her parents, Lily couldn't help but feel that with each trip to Hogwarts it felt as though she were returning home. She missed her classes and she missed her friends. She smiled thinking about how she even missed seeing Filch running down the corridors with a string of foul curses directed at Peeves the Poltergeist. She missed-
"Ow!" she cried. Someone had just come through the barrier behind her and bumped into her with his trolley. Lily, rubbing her back, turned around and saw Frank Longbottom watching her with apologetic eyes.
"Sorry," he said. "Alright there, Lily?"
Lily dusted herself off and smiled. "No harm done, Frank. How was your holiday?"
"Not too bad," he replied as they started walking toward the scarlet train. "Mum decided that we should holiday in the Sahara."
"The Sahara, as in the desert?" Lily asked. After Frank nodded she added, "That sounds a bit harsh."
Frank shrugged and said, "She told me it was to 'test my mettle,' whatever that means. I'm used to it by now. Besides, it got me out of the harsh English winter for a few weeks. How was your Christmas?"
Lily felt some movement in her pocket. The frog spawn she was caring for were due to be fed soon. "My holiday was nice." She looked at Frank, who had helped her lift her trunk onto the train. "I need to find Alice and Marlene," she said. Seeing his hopeful face she added, "Do you want to sit with us?"
Frank's brown eyes lit up as he cheerfully nodded and helped Lily with her belongings down the corridor. Eventually they found Marlene sitting with Emm in a compartment near the end of the train. Alice had yet to arrive. Marlene eyed Frank as he stowed away the luggage and gave a questioning look to Lily, who smiled. Marlene smirked, wondering how long it would take for Alice to kill Lily once they returned to the privacy of their dorm room. Alice, though she thought Frank was nice, was not thrilled to have him following her like a lovesick puppy dog.
**************************************************************************************
Sirius and James managed to hop onto the train about one minute before it pulled out of the station. James let out a sigh of relief as Sirius grinned at him. James shook his head and said, "What are you grinning at? You're the reason we almost missed the train. You and your beauty sleep!"
Sirius playfully shoved James as he marched past him down the corridor to find their friends. About halfway down the corridor a door opened and out stepped a beautiful raven-haired girl. Sirius groaned, recognizing her as Andromeda, his cousin. She was in her seventh year and in Slytherin, like all the Blacks except for Sirius.
As she turned toward them she saw the two boys and gave Sirius a disapproving glare. As the boys walked past her James noticed Andromeda's eyes change from dark brown to a fiery red color, shooting daggers at Sirius.
Sirius smiled sardonically as he passed and said, "Looking lovely as always, cousin."
After they were out of her hearing range James leaned over to Sirius and whispered, "What happened to her eyes back there?"
"She's a Metamorphmagus. She just wanted to send me her love," said Sirius, his voice full of sarcasm.
"Geez, Sirius, is there anyone in your family you get along with?" asked James.
"What are you talking about? Andromeda is my favorite cousin or as I prefer to say, 'the lesser of the evils'," replied Sirius. A moment later he added, "Then there's good old Uncle Alphard, but I'm not sure he counts - he's too senile."
"How's Andromeda different from your other cousins?" asked James.
"She's not," said Sirius. "She's still a Slytherin like the others and looks down on the Muggles and Muggleborns wizards. She's not as outspoken and nasty about it like the others. She still sees me as a blood traitor, though."
James walked on, silently amazed that his best mate survived thirteen years with his family and turned out like he did. Eventually they located Remus and Peter. Remus was patiently trying to explain the wand movements necessary to perform a Cheering Charm, while Peter was desperately trying to finish his Charms essay which was to be handed in the next day.
Remus looked up and smiled at the two boys. "Padfoot! Prongs! How was your holiday?"
"Great," replied James. "Sirius and I played Quidditch most of the time and I have the bruises to prove it. I think he's got a real good shot at the open Beater position next year."
"We went to visit James' aunt and uncle for Christmas Eve," added Sirius. "It was a rather memorable evening."
"Do I even want to know what you two did?" asked Remus with a chuckle.
Sirius gave an evil grin while James spoke, "You remember my cousins, Gideon and Fabian, right?"
Remus smiled and nodded. "How can I forget?" he said. "After Marlene made their photo a permanent fixture of Hogwarts?"
"Yeah, they weren't too happy about that," said Sirius. "But, they had some other things on their minds."
James laughed and said, "They were accepted into the auror trainee program, however Gideon had a bit of a mishap…"
"What?" asked Peter.
"They were with Mad-Eye Moody on a simulated mission," started James, "and when they finished Gideon put his wand into his back pocket." James had to pause. He was trying to get through the story without laughing too hard, but seeing the amused expression on Sirius' face made it difficult to finish.
Sirius took over and said, "The wand ignited and Gideon…" he started to break down in hysterics at the image.
"Come on, guys," urged Remus. "What happened after the wand ignited?"
James took a few steadying breaths before managing a few words. "He…He lost a buttock!"
Sirius' guffaws were infectious and soon all the boys were near tears in laughter.
"H-Had to t-take him to St. Mungo's," James managed to say between chuckles. "He had to stay there for a week so the healers could grow a new b-buttock for him. Moody was at their house for Christmas Eve dinner. He kept glaring at Gideon, muttering things under his breath about elementary wand safety."
"Sounds like a fun evening," said Remus.
"Ohhhh, it didn't end there. Do you honestly think Padfoot and I could leave well enough alone with so much ammunition?" asked James.
"Gideon kept looking at us like we were about to mock him endlessly about what had happened. Really," said Sirius innocently, "when would I ever do something like that?"
"I'd say about every second of every minute of every hour of every day…" said Remus.
"Okay, I get the point, Moony," said Sirius. "I simply told Gideon not to worry, that I wouldn't even think of making him the butt of the joke."
"Then as Uncle Louis made the holiday toast, I said, 'Bottoms up!'" said James.
"Gideon got really mad, but even Fabian was secretly getting a kick out of it. I could tell that Gideon was toying with the idea of hexing us, but I couldn't help myself-" said Sirius.
"Can you ever?" asked Remus.
"-I turned to him with my most sincere look," said Sirius, "and I told him that I would never ASS-ume
that I could taunt him and get away with it."
James chuckled and added, "Then Sirius had the audacity to ask if someone could pass him the buttocks, then he quickly covered and said butter."
"After about an hour of constant taunting from both James and me, Gideon had finally had it and hexed us. We were covered in a thick green goop," said Sirius.
"We wanted to hex him back, but there's the tiny fact that we're underage and they're not…" said James.
Sirius smiled and said, "That didn't stop you from flinging your potatoes straight into Gideon's face."
"Yeah," said James. "I reckon Mum wasn't too happy with us. She gave us one of her long-winded lectures. I about lost it when she was ranting in front of Gideon that she hadn't reared me to behave like that as a guest in someone's home. I could tell that Gideon was fuming - he thought Mum had joined in on the ribbing. She noticed it and rushed us to the fireplace to Floo home before any more green goop could be cast."
Remus shook his head while still smiling. "Your poor mum, Prongs. How did she survive having both of you under her roof for so long?"
Sirius replied instead, "I tried to balance the mischief with my charming personality."
James snorted and Sirius pretended to look shocked at his friend's mockery. He knew that he had done the right thing accompanying James home for the Christmas holiday. It was James' first Christmas home since his dad had died and he knew it would be difficult for his friend. Sirius made sure that he did everything he could to distract James and keep him from depression, even if it meant getting into trouble or annoying him.
Sirius had to admit that he also had his own selfish reasons for going to James' home. James' mum and even the portrait of Joseph always welcomed him, like he was a member of the family, and that was something that Sirius had sorely missed out on while growing up with the Black family.
**************************************************************************************
A/N: ' Don't put your wand there, boy! What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!' -Mad-Eye Moody to Harry, OotP
FYI, I am well aware of how I portrayed Andromeda in this chapter. How we see her now is not necessarily how she'll be later on…
Thanks to my wonderful reviewers: Hermione G. Potter, Anonymous (x2), Alicia, nanopy, lilly flower, mrs. padfoot (x2), sweetie513, New Reader, Potterhead, marie, I <3 Harry… Thanks for all the reviews - you guys rock! Replies are in the review section.
Next chapter: More Divination and DADA!