Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and events from J.K. Rowling's wonderful Harry Potter books. I am writing this for my own enjoyment and hopefully for the enjoyment of readers. Anything you recognize belongs to JKR. The rest belongs to me.
Chapter 80: Career Goals
Alice slammed the door as she walked into her dorm room. Throwing herself onto her bed in a dramatic fashion, she let out a huge woebegone sigh. Seeing Alice's not-so-subtle-clues, Lily and Marlene braced themselves for another comfort session.
"How was your study session with Frank?" asked Lily.
Alice harrumphed and said, "Don't you mean FrankandAmy?"
"Huh?" said Marlene.
"FrankandAmy," repeated Alice, slurring the names together. "After all, you can't have one without the other these days," she added sarcastically. "FrankandAmy are a couple. FrankandAmy are so cute together. FrankandAmy are always together…"
Marlene looked thoughtful before she said, "FrankandAmy, eh?" She got a glint in her eyes and said, "FrankandAmy have hives. FrankandAmy are standing trial for murder. Yeah, it kind of rolls right off the tongue."
Lily had to bite back a laugh before saying, "Are you saying that Amy showed up at your session this evening?"
Alice snorted and said, "No, 'invaded' is more like it. She sat down and said she just wanted to do her homework. She said not to mind her and we wouldn't even notice she was there. Ptshh! Like I was supposed to not notice the stupid lovesick glances she gave him! And then she had to nerve to tell me I had the enunciation wrong for the defense spell we were working on. Like she actually thought that she was better at DADA than me!"
Lily, seeing Alice's increasing frustration and anger, knelt down on the floor and searched under her bed until she found their secret stash of chocolate. Usually their stock of chocolate would last them from one Hogsmeade visit to the next, but their supply had been dwindling lately due to Alice's almost constant emotional state. Lily sighed, hating to see the bag getting emptier, but this was an emergency situation after all. She handed a few chunks of Honeyduke's best chocolate to Alice, who grabbed it like she had been expecting it ever since she had walked into the room.
After Valentine's Day, Alice had hardly seen Frank without Amy at his side. Alice had had to witness the hand holding and smiling and other public displays of affection. It hit Alice even harder to see what a sweet and attentive boyfriend he could be. She found herself comparing him to her ex-boyfriend, Sirius. While she and Sirius had had fun, she realized it had only been a crush. Alice knew that the feelings she had for Frank were more than a crush, but she was too forlorn to admit what those feelings meant.
She had been dreading seeing Frank alone for their next study session after Valentine's Day, though she was happy it would be an opportunity for him to not be around Amy for a few hours. She didn't know how to act around Frank and was certain he would see right through her the moment he saw her in the library. As soon as he sat down across from her he gave her his usual greeting with a smile and immediately dove into the latest chapter of DADA.
His casual nature with her and his lack of mention of his girlfriend gradually allowed Alice to relax in his presence. It was as if the library was a protective bubble from outside influence and for those few hours it was just Frank and Alice. While Alice still did not reveal her developing feelings for Frank, she allowed herself to imagine during their study sessions that Amy did not exist.
A week later, Alice found the motivation to help wallop Hufflepuff in the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff Quidditch game. Every time she threw the Quaffle, she imagined it flying into the head of Frank's little Hufflepuff girlfriend. Alas, while Alice did not have the opportunity to really hit her since Amy wasn't on the team, she had scored several goals and helped place Gryffindor at the top of the Quidditch standings.
Over the following month Alice looked forward to her time alone with Frank, but when she saw him with Amy outside of the library her imaginary bubble would pop and she would run to Lily and Marlene for comfort. She used them as a sounding board for her woes, and they always had chocolate handy to console her.
That evening, Alice had once again proceeded to the library looking forward to her time with Frank. They had hardly begun studying when Amy had plopped down at their table. Alice was furious and wanted to say no to her request to join them, but Frank had already agreed. Alice swallowed the bitter words she had wanted to throw at Amy and decided to just forge through the rest of the tutoring session, hoping that Amy would mind her own business…or studies, rather.
Alice had not been so lucky. As she had told Lily and Marlene, Amy had not kept her mouth shut and had tried, in Alice's mind, to make her look stupid in front of Frank. Alice had snapped at Amy, telling her that she knew the subject better and that's why she was the tutor. After the next several tense minutes of silence, where each person was flipping through textbooks or scribbling on parchment, Alice finally declared that the session was over and had to meet her friends. This is what had led to the latest chocolate comfort session.
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The next day Alice was surprised to see Frank stopping her on the way to class with Amy nowhere to be seen. He gave her a somewhat shy smile and said, "All right, Alice?"
Alice glanced behind him as if expecting his perky girlfriend to materialize like she was prone to do. Seeing no one, she looked back at Frank and smiled, answering, "All right. You?"
"Are you sure?" asked Frank. "It's just that, last night…you seemed upset before you left. Are you mad that Amy joined us?"
Alice made a weak noise of protest and said, "Mad? Why would I be mad, Frank?"
Frank gave her a searching look and said, "I'm sorry. We didn't get the assignment finished before you left, and I wondered if you thought Amy was too much of a distraction? You just didn't seem like yourself."
Alice felt herself blushing under the scrutiny of his eyes. She had found that she had a weakness for his warm brown eyes, enough to make her a little wobbly in the knees. She looked down, realizing that with the way she acted around him he would soon discover the truth and then would be forced to break her heart. She laughed inwardly, realizing that the tables had definitely turned. She had to stop this before things became disastrous.
Alice drew in a deep breath, trying to summon up her courage, and said, "Frank, maybe it would be better to stop our study sessions." She looked into Frank's surprised eyes and for a moment felt like something had gotten stuck in her throat.
"What do you mean? You don't want to study with me anymore?" asked Frank, sounding a little hurt.
"It's not that, Frank," said Alice. "You've been doing really well in DADA lately and I'm sure you'd rather study with Amy, anyway. I'm sure McGonagall will understand."
Frank said nothing. Instead, he continued to stare at her in surprise and confusion. Alice, feeling some tears starting to form turned and started walking quickly toward the greenhouses for their Herbology lesson. She had hardly made it halfway there when she heard footsteps rushing to catch up. Alice brushed away her stray tears before she felt Frank grabbing her arm to stop her.
He was panting from running after her, but he was able to utter, "No."
"Huh?" said Alice.
Frank shook his head and, catching his breath, said, "No, I just can't agree to this. I need you, Alice."
Alice felt her stomach flutter and thought she had heard a note in Frank's voice, but perhaps it had only been from his recent run. "You…need me?" she echoed.
Frank gave her arm a gentle squeeze and said, "Yeah, I do. We work well together, Alice. My DADA grades have never been this good, and correct me if I'm wrong, but your Potions scores have improved, too." Not hearing a denial, he continued, "We're supposed to meet with McGonagall in the next week or so about our career goals. She already knows mine, but meeting with her only means that O.W.L.'s are right around the corner. Alice, there's so much to learn still, and so much to review! There's no way I'll be able to get through O.W.L.'s without your help."
Alice inwardly felt like screaming. He only wanted to be near her because he wanted good grades. For a moment, she had thought…well, she wasn't sure what she had thought. She tensely said, "You don't need me, Frank. You have Amy." She turned to leave but Frank did not let go of her arm.
"Amy and I don't study together well, and she's nowhere near as good at DADA as you are. Besides, I like spending time with you, Alice," said Frank. He paused as if trying to find the right words to say. "You're one of my best friends. If I tell Amy not to come by our study sessions, would you reconsider?" he asked.
Alice felt his hopeful gaze burning into her back and couldn't resist turning to look into his eyes…his velvety chocolate eyes. Alice, having been conditioned to eat chocolate after several emotional run-ins with Frank, couldn't keep her stomach from growling at the vision of Frank's chocolate eyes. She blushed, embarrassed to see the corners of Frank's mouth twitch a little in response to her stomach's announcement.
"Please, Alice?" cajoled Frank.
"All right," conceded Alice. She couldn't keep herself from giving in. She mentally sighed, realizing that while Frank and Amy were still together, she and Frank would still get their time alone, even if only as friends. As long as Alice didn't have to see Amy's perky little nose sitting across from her in the library, she would find a way to cope.
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Over the next few weeks Frank was true to his word. Alice met him in the library for their study sessions and Amy stayed away, though Alice was still forced to see her with Frank at other times. They settled back into their routine of preparing for exams. They had seen the notice posted about scheduling appointments with their head of house for career advice. Frank and Alice knew they wanted to become aurors, so they decided to focus their attentions on keeping up with their grades rather than searching through career brochures.
The same could not be said for a large portion of the fifth year students. Brochures could be seen littering the tables and floors of the Gryffindor common room while several exasperated students leafed through them.
"There's so many to choose from!" exclaimed Peter, tossing another brochure onto the floor. "How am I supposed to know right now what I want to do with the rest of my life?"
"They just want you to start thinking about it now, rather than figuring it out at the last minute as we're graduating," said Remus.
Sirius opened a pamphlet and read out loud, "Ever fancy a career in food services?" His eyes perked up for a moment before he said, "Oh. Looks like I'd have to make it and give it to people. Thought it might have been something about being a 'food taster'."
James snorted and said, "That'd be right up your alley, Padfoot."
"What do you want to do, Prongs?" asked Peter.
"Dunno," James replied, shrugging his shoulders noncommittally.
Sirius snorted and said, "None of these careers look all that interesting."
"When's your meeting with McGonagall?" asked Remus.
"Tomorrow," replied Sirius.
"And you have no idea what you want to do?" asked Remus.
Sirius tossed aside a booklet on becoming a cauldron inspector and said, "Not really. I just want to do something important that'll be able to keep my interest."
While his reply had been somewhat casual, Sirius truly wanted to make his mark in the world somehow. He wanted to show his family that he wasn't as worthless as they claimed. If the career he chose ticked them off at the same time, then that would be an added bonus. He paused when he saw a brochure on Muggle relations, knowing it would irritate his mother to no end, but opted to set it aside realizing that it would probably bore him to tears after a month or two.
"What about you, Moony?" asked Peter.
Remus frowned and said, "I guess I'd like to work for the Ministry, but I have to be realistic and prepare for other options." He glanced around to make certain nobody was listening in. "It's not like people will want to hire me once they figure out why I'll need time off every month."
"So why do you study so hard if you think no one will hire you?" asked Peter.
"Just because my chances are lower for finding a job doesn't mean I don't want to try to succeed. Besides, higher grades can only help me. I don't want anyone using low grades as an excuse not to hire this werewolf," said Remus, flipping through a booklet on the Department of Magical Cooperation.
James suddenly let out a laugh. He read aloud a brochure that he had just opened. "Is a career in Divination in your future? If so, you should already know what to do and where to send it."
Remus laughed and said, "I already sent your application in, Prongs."
James smirked as he tossed the brochure onto the growing pile on the floor. It was well known that James did not have a high opinion of Divination. He grabbed the next booklet on the stack and paused, seeing the familiar emblem on the cover. It was one he had seen on the cover of the files his dad used to bring home from work.
James stared at the cover for a while, suddenly remembering how all he had wanted to be when he was younger was an auror just like his dad. His dad's job had always seemed so exciting and adventurous. James wondered if he had outgrown his ambition to become an auror. He wasn't sure it was a career wanted, because being an auror was what had led to his dad's death. It could prove to be a constant reminder of his loss, and there was a chance he could lose his own life on the job.
On the other hand, it was dark wizards who had killed his father, and dark magic was one thing James despised more than anything else. It was one of the driving forces behind his hatred for Snape, who was always sticking his nose in a book about the subject. James was certain Snape was destined for evil and he saw the Slytherin following the footsteps of the people who were responsible for his dad's death. The mere presence, or existence, of those people made James want to take part in their removal from society. Becoming an auror would allow him to do that, and would give him the opportunity to find some form of justice for his dad's murder.
James felt the booklet get snatched away and saw Sirius flipping through it. "You thinking about becoming an auror, Prongs?"
James shrugged and said, "I dunno. Maybe. It seems like the only one that's caught my interest, so far."
Sirius browsed through the contents of the booklet and found that James had a point. It seemed like a career that wouldn't bore him. Sirius suddenly fantasized about a moment in the future where he would apprehend his brother and send him to Azkaban. He could envision the looks of fury on his parents' faces.
Sirius looked at the requirements and saw that he needed good marks on his exams and a recommendation from his head of house. He figured the tests wouldn't be a problem since he never had difficulty scoring high marks. McGonagall may be an issue, but he figured he could wheedle a recommendation out of her. He decided to make becoming and auror his career goal for the time being. He figured he could change his mind later if he found something better.
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Professor McGonagall looked up when she heard the knock on the door to her office. She said, "Good afternoon, Miss Evans. Please come in."
Lily sat down in the chair facing her head of house and returned her greeting.
Professor McGonagall finished making some notes from her last meeting with Sirius Black. She had been pleasantly surprised at his interest in becoming an auror. She was glad to see that he had some ambitions that weren't all about fun and games. She had warned him that he would need to focus on his studies and not let his grades slip. He would be subjected to several character tests where he would need to keep a level head and show how serious he was about that career path.
Putting aside his file, she focused on the pupil in front of her and said, "Miss Evans. As you probably read from the notice, this meeting is to start you thinking about what you will do after you finish Hogwarts. It will also help determine which classes you'll need to take for your final two years here."
"I understand, Professor," replied Lily.
"Do you have any thoughts about what you want to do when you graduate?" asked the professor.
Lily fidgeted a little and replied, "I've thought about it, though I haven't really decided what I want to do. Truth be told, I hadn't put much thought into it until I saw the notice posted. I hadn't realized how many different types of jobs are out there to choose from."
"That's understandable," said McGonagall. "Many students from Muggle backgrounds are overwhelmed by the choices out there. They are raised in a completely different environment and are more aware of the Muggle careers available than the magical ones."
Lily nodded. As a little girl she had dreamt of several different careers from ballerina, princess, zoo keeper, and author. Then she had been thrust into the magical world where she had to learn about new ways of life and now new career options.
"Why don't we start simple," suggested Professor McGonagall. "What are you favorite subjects?"
"I like Charms," Lily immediately replied. "But I also enjoy Care of Magical Creatures." Lily fondly recalled the first time she had seen a unicorn. It had been a fantasy come true for her, and when she had touched one she had had a smile on her face for the rest of the day.
Looking through Lily's file, Professor McGonagall said, "Your marks in Charms are the highest in your year. Professor Flitwick is quite complimentary about your performance in his class. Professor Kettleburn also wrote that you excel in his class." She paused for a few moments before nodding her head and suggesting, "Have you thought about healing?"
"Healing?" echoed Lily. "I don't know if I could see myself working with sick people…"
"That's not what I meant," said McGonagall. "There is a separate branch of healing that involves working with magical creatures. It is a separate specialty, and it is a difficult program to get accepted into. There aren't many people who teach it and the pupils need to have excellent scores in Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures. They also require good marks in DADA, as sometimes it helps to know a stunning or shielding spell."
"Healing magical creatures…" mused Lily. It piqued her interest, but she wasn't certain if that was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life.
Professor McGonagall searched through a stack of brochures on her desk and pulled out a few. "Here's some information on healing magical creatures. If you do as well on the O.W.L.'s as you have been doing in your classes, I think you would be an excellent candidate for this career path. Otherwise, there are several career paths that focus on Charms, some of which are listed in these other brochures."
Lily took the information and asked, "What about my classes for next year?"
"Assuming you acquire the necessary marks on your exams," started the professor, "I would suggest continuing Charms, Transfiguration, Potions, DADA, and Care of Magical Creatures. Divination, Herbology, and Arithmancy are up to you. History of Magic is still required for sixth and seventh year students."
"I understand, Professor," said Lily.
"Very well, Miss Evans," said Professor McGonagall. "You are excused."
Lily thanked Professor McGonagall and left. As she was turning the corner to the stairwell she ran into James, who looked as if he had been expecting her to appear there. He was standing halfway down the staircase letting go of a Snitch only to catch it with the other hand within a split second. He grinned when she walked past him and started to follow her.
"Hey Evans!" he said, falling into step beside her. He grabbed the Snitch and with his other hand ruffled his hair, before saying, "I'm going down to the pitch now. Gotta meet the team with the Ravenclaw game so close. I reckon it shouldn't be a problem, though. There's no way Patil will get the Snitch before me." To prove his point, James let go of the Snitch again, letting it flutter a little farther than before, before quickly grabbing it. Dropping his voice a little deeper, he said, "How about coming down to the pitch to watch the practice? Cheer on the team?"
"Potter, I really have too much studying to do anything else right now," Lily replied.
Just as she tried to turn to walk toward the library, James released the Snitch again. It fluttered by Lily's shoulder, and James reached across behind her and grabbed it, taking the opportunity to drape his arm across her shoulders. Lily shrugged his arm off and walked a little faster. Every time she started to escape, James released the Snitch which fluttered around her, allowing him several opportunities to get near her while getting it back. At one point the Snitch flew in front of Lily and up around her shoulder. James jumped in front of her so quickly that Lily didn't have the chance to stop before walking straight into him.
To regain their balance, James grabbed her shoulders. Lily suddenly realized how close they were standing, but James was still holding onto her despite the fact that they had regained their footing. She was eye level with his nose, but she refused to look up into his hazel eyes, figuring that they were probably alight with mischief and something else…
"Go out with me, Evans," he said.
Lily stepped back. She wondered when his request for her to go out with him had become a statement. Furthermore, she wondered why he insisted on pursuing her, despite the numerous refusals she had given him. She had tried to be indifferent, she had certainly been annoyed with him several times during the year, and she had tried to politely refuse his offers as well. Now, she was becoming more frustrated with his persistence, and wondered if she would eventually break down and be outright rude to him. Despite all outward appearances, Lily did not like the idea of yelling at him or potentially hurting his feelings.
Lily opened her mouth but before she could say anything she was interrupted by the voice of Sirius, calling for James from down the hall.
"Oy! You coming to practice or do we have the afternoon off?" asked Sirius.
James stepped closer to Lily and grinned, reaching over her and grabbing the Snitch. Holding it between them he noted the flush of her cheeks before winking at her and walking toward Sirius to join the team for practice.
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A/N: Getting closer to the end of fifth year. I reckon in the next chapter or two we should be into the O.W.L.'s. Woohoo! Snape's Worst Memory will be incorporated somewhere in all that.
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